charlie-hopkirk - Tumblr blog

[charlie-hopkirk]

What do you think, Lydia?

I suppose sociopathy affords for a clearer frame of mind. I do have a question though— was it truly all an act?

[charlie-hopkirk]

Indefinitely. Who'd have even thought I'd be the rational one at the end of this?

How the tides have turned, hrm?

[charlie-hopkirk]

-shrugging some, he continues walking at a slow pace as his head reclines some- It's a nice night.. and I was hoping I'd be able to talk some sense into you.

It’s not such a bad thing. It’s a rather pleasant night out. -Without hesitation, she tucks her hand back into his own, staying close. Any reason you wanted to go for a walk, though?

[charlie-hopkirk]

-grinning widely, he pulls back, nodding deeper into the garden- C'mon. This has hardly been a walk that I promised now, and we only seem to keep stopping. -holding his hand out once more, questionably, he shrugs his head toward the outskirts of the garden in offering- 

Then I suppose I’ll bring it up next session. -More out of force of habit, she brushes a quick kiss to his jaw, before pulling out of the hug.- Damn you, Hopkirk. I mean it. -Though her words are condemning, she says them with a hint of amusement, teasing.-

[charlie-hopkirk]

-his arms tightening around her for a short while, he nods softly, smiling slightly- It'd please me if I saw you a little less cynical, indefinitely. That's my job, believe it or not. You aren't allowed to take that post.

-Caught off guard, her eyes widen briefly, taking a moment to realize what he’s doing, and very carefully, allows herself to rest against him, arms reciprocating wrapping around him.- It’s, er … it’s all water under the bridge, Charlie. No harm, no foul. But .. -She exhales, more annoyed with herself than anything.- If we’re being honest, I’m not too find of this either, but it works. I suppose I can … speak with my psychiatrist and look into getting a new prescription? If it’s really all that important to you…

[charlie-hopkirk]

-smiling some, he turns to stop suddenly, pulling her into a spontaneous hug as he feels the moment is right, resting his chin on the top of her head- If it means anything to you, Lydia, I never meant to hurt you. It's who I am, and whether it makes me seem like a martyr or not, I don't want it to happen again.. because I'm not font of this new you. I can adjust, sure, but this isn't the you I'd like to see around more often.

I do. -She shrugs, his words prompting her to give his hand a light squeeze.- Everything bad that’s happened to me is of my own volition. I could easily have chosen not to let things so deeply affect me. And … yeah, what you did hurt me. But whatever that lie was, it was one of the nicest, sweetest things to ever happen to me. I really do lov— did love you. And if I’m being honest, it was the consequences to my own mistakes that made me unhappy. So … enough of this martyr shit. I’m not staying away from you regardless.

[charlie-hopkirk]

Well, you know that it is an open religion, so you're more than welcome to believe in me if you'd like. -nodding some, he inhales deeply, sighing as the breath is expelled from his lungs- That's because you're suffering, Lydia. The fact you're in here alone should make up a good portion of your unhappiness. What I did shouldn't factor into the equation anymore. Stay away from me and I'm sure you'll find happiness again since it only seems to be my hand that appears to cause you pain.

I’d definitely convert if you could. -Reverting back to her old habits some, she allows herself to get closer, an odd calm settling over her.-The good parts seem so far away right now. I just … I don’t know. I’m sure it seems awful and wrong, but what happens if I let myself be vulnerable again, and fall into the same stupid mistakes I made previously? I’m not sure I could handle being used or so vehemently rejected again.

[charlie-hopkirk]

That.. that's a fact. I'll take a look in the hand-book and see what I can do about it. -chuckling softly, he pulls her slightly closer, glancing up at the dark sky above them- I'm pretty sure there are supposed to be down parts to it all, Lyd; it's the good parts you have to work for. Believe me when I say that the y'know, emotionally-void-sex-craving Lydia is a sight to behold, there was something inspiring about home-town Lydia. You weren't cut out to be a robot.

Perhaps Charlie-ism has some sacrifice ritual wherein it’s possible to change the weather? Goodness knows I’d like the heat. -Nodding in agreement, she easily keeps up with him, faintly enjoying the proximity.- Oh, I know for a fact you’re right. But if being human means feeling awful enough to want to kill myself, is it really worth it? There were peaks, yes, but … truly, if everything I’ve ever worked for ends in unhappiness and loneliness, I just don’t see the point in letting myself feel. That’s not meant to sound angsty, I swear.

[charlie-hopkirk]

You might as well be asking for a miracle if you're looking for a warm summer in England, Lydia. It's less than likely to happen even if you did end up praying for it. -shrugging some, he continues to walk, pulling her gently along with him- And don't you think that's what made you human?

Won’t be as hot as home, I’d imagine. But then I did spend summers with my Dad, and L.A. is pretty hard to beat when it comes to heat. -Enjoying the sunshine and outdoor air, even if muted, she allows a calm smile to overtake previously stoic features. Her hand unintentionally tightens, however, at his opinion.- … I suppose I fail to see the logic behind such reasoning. I was miserable before, Charlie.

[charlie-hopkirk]

Shouldn't be too long now. I know April's a little wrong in the weather department but we should be alright. -heading out toward the gardens, when they reach the door he pushes it open, exhaling some at the open air and leading the two of them into the garden- ..I think you should start feeling things again. In my opinion.

Whoops. -Finding just the faintest of smiles, she shakes her head some, following close to him.- Maybe once winter comes around, but I’d like to at least be around to enjoy summer. It’s my favorite season.

[charlie-hopkirk]

Wow Lydia, harsh. -chuckling slightly as he brushes the dig off, his hand tightens around hers, leading her down the hallway- Good. I'd hate to have to get my hands dirty and end up skinning you after all.

Going to murder me and send my skin to my mother if I say no? -Raising a brow, somewhat confused by his offer, she finally nods, slipping her hand into his.- …Yeah.

[charlie-hopkirk]

-running his tongue over his teeth, he holds out a hand with a vacant expression- Fancy a walk?

But as previously discussed, it was a necessary division. If you weren’t feeling it, it wasn’t my place to make you continue on, you know? I suppose the anger is more directed at myself; I remember that I really fucking loved you, so … yep.

[charlie-hopkirk]

No, I presume it's natural to be angry with me for using you and then leaving you when you deemed it most necessary. I'd most likely be angry myself, were I in that situation.

No, wait. I … -Almost petulantly, she folds her arms, before glancing back up at him.- I suppose that being angry with you is no excuse for irrationally hostile behaviour. My apologies.

[charlie-hopkirk]

Oh, yes of course. I forget we're not to act like human beings anymore. Well, as you were.

And since when do you care about what is ‘good’ for me?

[charlie-hopkirk]

You shouldn't make a habit of lying, Lydia. It's not good for you.

Thank goodness therapy is over for the week. One less person I have to lie to.

[charlie-hopkirk]

[charlie-hopkirk]

-nodding, he brushes off the pain he continues to feel, screwing on the lid and leaning back into the bed- Well, if it's easier for you to work that way then what else can they do? I don't see the issue with you personally. It was a one time deal right, trying to kill yourself? I'm pretty sure you're over the whole free-falling business now.

You alright there? -Chuckling softly, she takes another long drink, allowing the subtle buzz to pleasantly trickle over her mind.- Precisely. But … well, it’s like I explained to my psychologist. I look at you, and you look good. I remember our sex, and it was good sex. I just … don’t feel anything about it anymore? And it’s a lot easier to progress and move on that way.