charlithium

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Not true at all. its odor is alcohol and its flavor is bad.

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life is beautiful

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Stolen from reddit where it wasn't being properly appreciated

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i am actually insufferable once I get comfortable with someone

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I’m really happy for them, congratulations 💍

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100 year old Galapagos tortoise with a few weeks old Galapagos baby posing for a new family photo, and its own baby photo from 100 years ago.

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ultimately the truth about frankenstein is that we are all grotesque amalgamations of the best and worst parts of everyone who came before us. and sometimes the people who are supposed to love us because of and in spite of this will not. and we can kill them with hammers for that. and i think that’s beautiful

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Shout out to all of the musical artists who re-recorded their songs in Simlish for The Sims 3 radio stations

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Me for the last 15 years: Starting a timer when you have to wait for something or stand in line can be helpful, because no matter how impatient you feel you can check the timer and remind yourself it has not been several eternities and has in fact only been five minutes.

Me setting a timer when I got to bag claim just now: I'm so clever! I will now be reminded that it's only been five minutes and bag claim usually takes about twenty!

Me looking at the timer thoughtfully: ...another Very Neurotypical Moment With Sam, it appears.

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Explain yourself.

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The problem with playing smash or pass is that there's a lot of characters which I'm not sexually attracted to but I would fuck in a heartbeat out of sheer curiosity and ego, like I don't find Mickey Mouse attractive at all but if he approached me at a bar and went "Hey sexy, want me to show you my mouseketool?" I would say yes because then I get to tell my friends I fucked Mickey Mouse

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oh. i just found out that the writer of the vincent van gogh doctor who episode wrote it as a tribute to his sister.

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Cupid missed

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a detailed list of things i hate

hot weather

high temperatures

heat

warmer than average conditions

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Yeah. I’m the guy who impregnates the mannequins they put in the maternity section. It ain’t much but it pays the bills. Please no further questions at this time.