charlyphraser

[charlyphraser]

I don’t mean to get all “90s kid” on everyone, but it just occurred to me that there are now a sizable number of people on the internet who don’t remember what it was like when Pokemon was everywhere.

Like, obviously Pokemon is still very popular, but I mean it was everywhere. Back in the late 90s/early 2000s there was not a single goddamn square foot of human civilization that didn’t have Pokemon on it.

You could wake up in the morning, slide out from under your Pokemon blanket, and go to the kitchen to eat some Pokemon marshmallow cereal and a Pokemon pop-tart. Then you get driven to school while listening to the Pokemon soundtrack CD your parents have very graciously allowed you to play in the car for the past three months.

It’s classtime. You’re doodling pictures of Pokemon inside your Pokemon notebook. You crush the lead on your Pokemon pencil with the Pokemon pencil topper, so you borrow a Pokemon pencil sharpener from your friend, who pulls it out of her Pokemon backpack with Pokemon keychains on it.

Time for lunch. Your lunchbox? Pokemon, of course, though you can hardly see it underneath all the Pokemon stickers you’ve plastered over it. Inside you find a Pokemon fruit roll-up, a pb&j sandwich made with jelly from a collectible Pokemon jelly jar, and a box of apple juice. (The apple juice is not Pokemon-themed, but your mother has drawn a crude approximation of a Bulbasaur on it, because she loves you.)

Then recess, glorious recess. Half the kids run around the playground, pretending to either be wild Pokemon or Team Rocket members. The other half bring out their Pokemon cards. Anyone who hasn’t brought their own alternates between discussing Pokemon card strategy and how excited they are for the upcoming Pokemon movie (so excited.) Somewhere in the back of your mind you notice Kevin isn’t here, but rumor is he managed to smuggle in an entire Game Boy and is hiding in the middle of the playground structure.

School’s out. You read your Pokemon Handbook in the car on the way to get some after-school fast food, with which you get one of an astounding number of Pokemon toys. Back home, you watch one of your favorite Pokemon episodes on tape (they’re all your favorite) and color in your Pokemon coloring book. Your parents, sophisticated adults that they are, read the lastest issue of Time magazine - which has a Pokemon cover story.

Then you have Pokemon-shaped macaroni and cheese for dinner, brush your teeth with a Pokemon toothbrush, and cuddle your Pokemon stuffed animals as you fall asleep.

POKEMON.

[charlyphraser]

How the media depicts the Apollo 11 mission:

Actual quotes from the Apollo 11 mission:

[charlyphraser]

Orchard House, home of Louisa May Alcott, in Concord, Massachusetts.

[charlyphraser]

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

[charlyphraser]

cure of ra

[charlyphraser]

Me, age 10, doing an essay on the pharaoh’s curse for school: huh. So this archeologist that died and everyone thought it was because he disturbed the pharaoh’s tomb actually died because he used a rusty razor to shave and it infected a mosquito bite. I can see how people could come to that conclusion, but it is a bit silly

Me, today, shaving my mosquito bite-ridden legs: I must tread carefully lest I incur the pharaoh’s wrath

[charlyphraser]

I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do the dishes!

[charlyphraser]

at times when the world's wretchedness threatens to overwhelm, i remind myself firmly that despite all else, it is within my power to go to the chinese grocery store frozen section and buy an utterly enormous bag of dumplings. and that helps

[charlyphraser]

[charlyphraser]

"autistic people need instructions for every simple task" okay how about we talk about the neurotypicals not following clear instructions. what do you mean it didn't work the way you wanted, i gave you the instructions. oh you didn't follow them? you didn't see where i clearly indicated the directions you were supposed to follow for this task? and you're shocked it didn't turn out right? you decided to pull a Jared I'm 19 and go rogue? you're surprised the road less travelled isn't fucking paved because no one travels it? do you get off on this

[charlyphraser]

[gripping the sink] perfectionism does not help me avoid embarrassment or shame. perfectionism is in itself a form of shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame

[charlyphraser]

protestants: god is not an absent father! talk to god like a friend! god is always with you! bring your problems to god, no matter how small! it’s not at all weird to call god “daddy!”

catholics: god is far too important to give a fuck about your lost keys or your algebra exam. please address your petty concerns to one of god’s ten thousand holy secretaries. if it’s really important, consider asking his mom.

[charlyphraser]

[charlyphraser]

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

[charlyphraser]

[charlyphraser]

On one hand, love the analogy to this being like dark vision.

On the other - this is unsettling but also stunning and I love it

What’s up late night folks? Here’s an eerie shot I took down a pitch black road in the middle of the night

[charlyphraser]

an under-appreciated view.