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charm-ng-blog · 8 years ago

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#Feminism...What it actually means for me

i have been requested to write from a few interested persons and today i chose an occasion of great importance to Women globally. This is my take on Feminism and what it actually means to me...

Please note: This is my very own experience, one that has shaped my life my views and my future

It was the year 1985 and my very 1st year at University, so i was this youngster excited about life and the adventure that this life will bring. A few months into the year, i found a part-time job at a Hotel managing the Creche in the afternoons. This job paid well and it suited my university hours, my parents concern was that as long as it did not interfere with my studies, other activities and it did not impede on my life where i had to give up one in lieu for the other, i could go ahead and take the job. I promised to try my best to balance everything and it worked like a charm. I was loving job, the money, the lifestyle it afforded me, it gave me a sense of independence and a nice taste of too.

One fine day, after i was done with my lectures and hour of study at the library, i went to the bus stop to catch the bus into the city centre, which was where i had my part-time job. Whilst waiting 2 buses had arrived and i boarded the first one as it said “City Centre - 9467″ - that was the bus identification number. I got onto the bus, paid for my ticket which was R1.50 and found a seat next to an elderly white woman. We smiled courteously at each other, i pulled out my book and began to read. On a first glance at looking for an empty seat, i did notice something odd, there were only “white folk” passengers on the bus but that didnt phase me in the least. I did observe though that the Bus Driver and Conductor was both Black African Gentlemen. They were decent and pleasant and dress in uniform. The conductor came up to me like he did with all the other passengers and clicked my ticket. We were well on our way on this bus ride. For the 1st time i will be dropped outside my place of work and would not have to walk a few blocks and this thought made me feel relieved. The route the bus took into the City Centre was through the suburbs, past the industrial part of the city, through the derelict part of the city which was controlled by gangsters, druglords, pimps and rife with prostitution. [and this is where i had that life altering experience] to get to the beautiful side of town, call it UpTown. One has to travel to DownTown to get through to UpTown.

Whilst the bus was entering DownTown and slowing down to a stop, i was grabbed by the scruff of my collar and thrown off the bus by a big burly white man who yelled abuse at me for boarding a “white’s only” bus. He cussed at me, cursed my fate and my birthright and spat at me for being a “Coolie”. I was in utter shock and could not even muster the courage to speak back. All i could see was the two African gentleman look at me helplessly and the all the white folk look on uninterested like this is something of an everyday occurrance. I gathered my strewn bag with my books, files and hotel uniform and began walking with my head down. I was petrified to look up or forward. I had no money or cash on hand. I clutched onto my bag like i was clutching onto my life and walked and walked and contiuned walking until a saw a familiar building. Every corner i turned i felt as though everyone was looking and smirking at me for the incident that happened and with every step i took my fear turned into anger. I finally got to work, went to the change room, changed into my soiled work clothes and reported for duty to a “white” female who lambasted me for wearing soiled clothes and dished out my duties for the afternoon. All i could think about all afternoon was “what did i do wrong?” I took the right bus that said “City Centre”, i paid for my trip and i sat quietly... One thing i did do was i made a mental note of the Bus No. 9467. My shift ended and i caught my lift home and the incident forced me to sleep in the car, not make chit-chat like i normally do. The other passengers noticed something was OFF with me but i put it down to not feeling well. I was dropped off at home and as soon as i walked into my house, i took just one look at my mom and and burst into tears falling into her arms. She let me cry for a good few minutes then sat me down at our breakfast nook and told me that whatever it is, it will pass and that she raised me to be a strong girl that can take on the world. I have no idea why she chose those specific words but i guess in retrospect those were the words i needed to hear not from just anyone but specifically from her. My mum may have assumed at that point in time, i suffered a heart-break because i saw her signal my dad not to come, not to worry she will handle me and help me through this, but this was not a heart-break, it was soul shattering !!! It changed me in ways i could not even imagine.

That evening i skipped dinner, and that definitely spelled a big problem to be noticed by the entire family, because I love food, my family called it my favourite pass-time, because i was always eating and my mom would say my outh was always moving. My dad knocked my room door and entered even though i did not permit him. He sat down beside me on the floor and all i could do was snuggle up to him to hide myself from this big bad world. i cried buckets and then he realised this is not just a heart-break, it was something more from the way i sobbed. My dad got me to straighten up and he saw the anger in my face and knew that my crying was not from a broken heart from sheer anger and frustration. He got me to a relatively calm state and then asked me what brought me to this state where i was shaking and sobbing in anger. He listened patiently and attentively as i related the incident and as i was relating the incident he could sense my agitation, frustration and anger at what had happened.

My dad very calmly spoke with me and calmed me down, got me to the dinner table. We had dinner and dessert and when i was almost back to my normal self, all bubbly and chatty, he had a chat with me. He explained to me the society we live in and how they had compromised on their beliefs to give us a better life and that was a good education. He gave me a deeper understanding about the effects of OPPRESSION and we had choices if we wanted to live that life or BE THE CHANGE that brings about a better life not only for myself but for others who may suffer a similar fate in the future. He explained to me about not using my heart but to think calmly with a clear mind before i did anything about the impact and the consequences of my actions and then only should i think about any form of retaliation. He told me that if i wanted to change something i needed to be on the inside because throwing stones from the outside is not going to have a positive effect but rather an antagonistic effect. My dad asked to do a bit of research before i decide to act to know what it is was dealing with. he asked me to do a simple exercise, to walk into our campus Admin Blocks where our HOD’s DEANS and Professors offices are and asked me to take look around and what did i see. I did that only to find that it was all LILLY WHITE with far sprinklings for brown interspersed for namesake probably. He made me understand that NOT all white people are bad or racist and that we should not discriminate based on colour, creed, class or status. My dad made me understand that to effect change, i had to be that CHANGE and it would not come easy because it would be changing people’s mindsets, their way of thinking and doing things that has become a habit and a way of life. He asked me to think carefully, long and hard about this road ahead if i wanted to embark on this journey of effecting change then i had to be mentally and emotionally prepared for it. My dad left me with once very impactful statement...’SERVICE TO GOD IS SERVICE TO MANKIND AND SERVICE TO MANKIND IS SERVICE TO GOD”

That night i went to bed after the deep discussion with my dad about the events of the day and all i knew was “I HAD CHANGED” I was not the same girl i was when i had left home that morning. The carefree 18 year old that wanted only to get through the day of lectures and the study hour at the library, to clock in and then wait for the minutes to tick by so that i could go hang out with my campus friend by the lake and just soak up the rest of the day in sheer laziness until it was time to head back home. I tossed and turned that night with all the happenings of the day swirling around in head, everything on loop.... I eventually got out of bed and sat at my study table and began writing. This letter was to set the course for my future as this incident shaped me as person, my thinking and my perspectives and my future as well. I wrote a letter to the Editor of a leading Daily Newspaper, a White Newspaper. I stated my name, my age, where i was from and who i was and set about writing my thoughts in a clear and concise sequence of events relating the events of that fateful day. After pages of writing, i found an envelope and sealed and marked it “To The Editor”. The next morning i went to my aunt, boarded an early morning train with her into the City Centre and walked blocks to the building that housed the Daily Newspaper. I told security that i wanted to see the editor as i had a letter for him but the security guard promptly steered me to a metal box that read “Letters for the Editor” i dropped the letter into the box with a hopeful sigh and headed back to the station to catch the next train back home. Through the hour long train journey, i felt a sense of relief but also a sense of pride of who i was. I was proud to be Indian, i was proud of my roots, i was proud of my culture and i realised that i didnt want to change who i was but i wanted to change the thinking about who we are and what we are. I wanted to change “IGNORANCE TO ENLIGTENMENT” is what i wanted to do. Those people on the bus did not know who i was, they were ignorant to facts about Indian people but had they known better that we no different to them, that would effect positive change for all of us.

A week passed, the Monday after the week. I walked into the cafeteria and saw groups of students huddled reading the newspaper. I managed to grab bits of the headline which read “ NON WHITE GIRL GETS THROWN OF A WHITES ONLY BUS”. My heart stopped and my stomach began doing loops. I went to one of the students and asked who published this article and a guy in a loud voice said, this article is published on the front page by the editor. My entire letter was published on the front page of the daily newspaper. This guy was the secretary of our Student Representative Council and an ardent activist. I did not realise that when i wrote this letter to the editor i had stated all my information, which university i was studying at, the year i was in, my student number, the degree i was studying for and the hotel i had a part-time job at. The Secretary Of the SRC was on his way to Administration to look for this girl when i stopped him and showed him my student number on my ID card. He was excited and took me to the SRC office to meet the other council members. What happened next was something i never expected in my wildest dreams, my article sparked a revolution of sorts and a massive planned march and gathering was being planned to speak out against this incident, the oppression and the atrocities we suffer because of it. All the SRC’s of all the universities planned a march to speak out and form a collective voice against oppression in every form. This was the CHANGE my dad was taking about, being on the inside. This march sparked the fate of many who joined the revolution and the fight against oppression and discrimination. The youth, black, white, indian, coloured, chinese, anyone and everyone came out in numbers to support this movement of LIBERATION. It was this such occasion that made me realise what my dad meant about having a voice...BE THE CHANGE... A single act, not to defame or hurt anyone but to merely bring to the attention of an uninformed few how the other marjority actually lives was my intention but this tiny letter sparked a revolution of thousands of oppressed unhappy souls who were looking for an outlet to vent and my letter provided it.

We marched in unison, singing songs of united we stand, divided we fall and we got noticed and the small steps to liberation began. But in all of this, the greater scheme of things, i was fighting my own oppression, whilst i was happy, excited and overwhelmed all at the same time, i had feelings of fear and regret that i may get expelled from campus, i have let down my family because my parents funded my education, i felt gulity about letting them down and not fullfilling my end of the bargain. In the weeks to the build-up to the march, i used to give my dad updates about what was going on and all he used to say to me was that there is no greater liberator than an educated mind. He did not stop me from being part of this revolution but he also reminded me of the importance of an education and the purpose it served. I chose to continue with my studies and ventured into social activism, helping NGO’s and Welfare Organisations on weekends to make a small difference in whichever way i could. I wanted to BE THE CHANGE...

Through this journey of 31 years of activism i have had the opportunity to meet some great WOMEN OF CHANGE who have fought fearlessly for the Liberation of people all over the world, some sacrificed their homes and families, lived in exile, some were thrown out and disowned by their families for their beliefs, some beaten, abused and persecuted by their families and had their children taken away, all because they believed in something not for themselves but for all others and for future generations to live a better life.

Today, i salute all those women whom i call ‘TRUE FEMINISTS’ (past, present and future) who held their honour, dignity and self respect to give others the same value because they believed we all were deserving of it.

Heartfelt Thank You to all those amazing women, who helped, mentored and moulded me to be the best version of myself i could possibly be. I am deeply honoured and humbled to carry the mantle of your legacy forward by continiuing to “BE THE CHANGE”....

I take this opportunity to wish and bless all the beautiful women out there a blessed, peaceful and joyous International Women’s Day !!!

Lets go out and BE THE CHANGE we want to see in this world...

From a Modern, Progressive, Forward Thinking, Woman of Worth

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charm-ng-blog · 8 years ago

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#KRPKAB

My Understanding of the Concept of KRPBKAB

The story is a simple tale of the journey of 3 people in a modern urban setting and how their choices and responses to situations and circumstances affect their everyday lives, which is something we all go through every day of our lives. I don’t profess to know and understand everything but this my candid understanding of how I perceive the story and how I think it should progress.

KRPKAB the story, is a very simple tale of 3 very ordinary individuals doing ordinary everyday things that almost all of the world’s people relate to. To me, the story is the HERO and the USP is the ESSENCE which is it’s simplistic and subtle approach to reality, which gives us that “feel good, fuzzy warm feelings” which is the truest essence of real life. For the first 140+ episodes the story was perfect, it was balanced, it had equals parts of drama in the correct levels interspersed with comic and witty onliners that made every episode a treat to watch which is rare considering what type of content is out there. The show gave a positive message and left you feeling good with renewed hope to meet the challenges and setbacks for the next day. Rarely does any TV show do that for anyone.

In order for me to write this, I had to go back to all the interviews and IV segments of the makers and the actors and they all said the same thing: - It’s a show based on a realistic approach to a modern day urban India showcasing a close to realistic approach which was never done on Indian Television before, it was pathbreaking and breaking all the stererotypes of the usual trend of Indian Telly. The truth, it was that !!! It was refreshing, engaging, gripping and enticing… I can go on but to sum it up, every episode was well worth the wait. It was a show even if we were not Native Indian, we related to it, we identified with the small group of characters and we identified with situations that we so often found ourselves in. We engaged with the show on an intimate level where certain scenes depicted helped us to laugh at ourselves and we cried with characters in some of the similar situations we had experienced. The show UNITED a global audience into a great big KRPKAB FAMILY, we shared our feelings, bared our souls, opened our hearts, embraced our so-called enemies and spread love which KRPKAB brought into our lives everyday from 9.30pm to 10pm. It blurred the borders and boundary lines drawn by division of differences in caste, class, language, race, colour of skin, sect, religion or social status and KRPKAB conquered it all.

Fans took to social network services praising and applauding the entire team for their hard work and raised the energy levels of the team to raise the bar each time. KRPKAB became a part of our everyday lives, just like sleep, eating and breathing. Unknowingly or unwittingly KRPKAB spread LOVE… The audiences ranges from adolescents to a mature, experienced older individual. The show engages professionals and homemakers and there’s a story in it for everyone.

My Take on KRPKAB

Up until Ishwari’s suspicions on Dev and Sonakshi’s relationship were confirmed, if felt the story was well executed with its maintaining the fundamentals still intact, but that all changed when Ishwari consumed sleeping pills to drown her fears, (even though the context with which it was done did have a bit of realism in it) however it did come across as overtly intense as Ishwari by her core character is a good person. It was from this point onwards I felt the story began losing its fundamentals and slowly began regressing into a typical saas-bahu drama, although the show didn’t show it overtly as other shows do. Ishwari’s character since then went on a spiral downward trajectory, with no kind of redemption or self- introspection in sight. It was difficult to watch such a well scripted character become self-serving, inconsistent and contradictory. This is where the story moved from the actual story centric and became character centralised, which cracked the foundation of the show. Skip to the realisation of her son’s happiness – begging – wedding – post marriage and the downward trend continued.

How I perceived the show to have progressed to highlight ishwari’s concerns (I prefer to call it concerns as opposed to suspicions, as concern is a more positive term to suspicion). The story could have dealt with the concerns in a more positive, realistic based approach with hints of fiction to add for good measure and dramatic effect. The story could have continued for another 50 episodes mainly focusing on Dev and Sona’s relationship (the up’s and down’s) of a new relationship. There are many dynamics which the makers could have shown as the show has several social layers to it (cultural, status, conservative as opposed to traditional, progressive vs archaic, personality differences, etc). They could have used this approach to highlight the differences in the Boses’s upbringing and Dixit’s upbringing and the trials and tribulations both had to endure and how it moulded the 2 main characters of Dev and Sonakshi. This would have better highlighted Iswari’s insecurities, which they could have easily used situational approach to get the story moving forward maintaining its essence and simplicity. To give an example of a situation to bring to attention the reason for Dev and Sona hiding their relationship from their respective families because of these insecurities of not being accepted due to these various reasons (Bijoy could have easily been used to highlight these scenes. Bijoy’s character is effective to grounding the relationship of Dev and Sona and is voice of reason and conscience, whereas Ishwari is the edgy apprehensive parent whose biggest fear in life is losing her and children’s livelihood if a another person enters her son’s life. This contrast would have been more effective and realistic an approach and close to reality as possible. Having Sona and Dev realise all these issues prior to jumping into a shaky foundation less marriage would have made better sense. The growth of all the 3 characters would have worked well within the parallels of each character. How Dev and Sona handle all the revelations would have made for riveting viewing. It also sends a strong social message to the youth target audience, don’t comprise your futures, studies, careers and identity for marriage. In an age where Women are at the forefront of empowerment, Sona’s character, Ishwari and Asha should have used to good effect to affect thinking and progressive mindsets for social change.

Coming to the actual story of the episodes, I felt the entire angle after the breakup between Dev and Sona could been handled differently. They could have shown Sona concentrating on building her business and fighting for her independence fiercely not be defined by marriage or man. This approach would have served Dev’s love her because it was this very characteristic that he and Bijoy are immensely proud of. Dev winning her broken trust again would have been a delight, which have also made him realise, introspect and understand Ishwari’s insecurity better. Dev’s gaining Bijoy’s trust and re-building faith to win Bijoy over could have been the backbone of this track, as Bijoy is equally protective of his daughter as well proud would have been the mirror to Dev about his mother’s insecurities.

Skipping to wedding track, which was most awaited – it went off in a flash and then the saas-bahu drama was in full swing. My thing is, they could have used the wedding track to highlight the cultural differences between the 2 different cultures and how the 2 cultures come together because of the effect of LOVE (acceptance and tolerance). The week build-up could have shown us the different customs and traditions and the purpose it serves. From this point we all know how the story goes being totally focused on the insecurity of Ishwari. The makers notched up the drama quotient to such high levels that the story got lost in this process giving more prominence and screen time to the part-time cast to tell the story and the lead pair were reduced to mere props. The once independent, educated doctor Sonakshi Bose was reduced to a playmate, maid and subservient bahu taking abuse from her in laws relatives who were freeloading off her husband and Dev was reduced to a mute, ma possessed son whose only goal in life was to keep his mother happy who was once the city biggest business tycoon with a sensible nature with an astuteness to discern situations in an instant. They all went for a TOSS !!! Having all those delaying tactical dramatics to drive a point of the consummation of the wedded couple was not at all a modern nor a realistic approach. That was uncalled for drama. To bring in Bua Dadi to show the generational gap between Ishwari and Sonakhi as bahu’s (how the age of the bahu evolved) I get that but the key would have been to maintain the realistic approach and maybe not showcase the nuptial night but give the newlyweds space to explore their love especially when the couples live in extended and joint families. Instead the newlyweds were tortured to observe fasts, do pujas to highlight the now obsessive behaviour of a mother. How close to reality is this ?? All this drama has caused more raised BP levels than put a smile on the audience’s face (quoting Shaheer in one of their interviews) before going to sleep. When we have real MIL’s to deal with why would we need watch Ishwari doing to Sonakshi is what we deal with in our daily lives. As the audience we look to KRPKAB for solutions to these issues, not more drama of the obsession of an insecure mother. This OTT drama continued for weeks which brought in an unwarranted “Infertility” track which a fair section of the audience was eagerly waiting for to see how this sensitive issue would be handled and would provide solutions to many women out there would suffer the same fate. However, this sensitive issue was handled with so much of insensivity and lack of respect that it incensed the audience. No importance was given to researching such a ‘subject matter’ with giving the scenes impetus and a sense of realism. It made the character of Sonakshi weak and look utterly stupid even though she’s the intelligent professional that can apply logic to any situation. Here again the focus was on Ishwari and her insecurities, her needs, her wants, her desires. Ishwari’s sudden change from being obsessed to a loving over-bearing MIL was hard to digest and all 3 characters went on a downward trajectory. It made KRPKAB hard to watch but we lived in hope that the makers and writers would bring the KRPKAB charm back. Shaheer and Erica was the saving grace and lifted these last few episodes from the downward spiral with their superlative performances. The fertility track was the most awaited track since the confession scene and it was so poorly handled and executed with no emotional tolerance shown to the lead in this track which was sonakshi, she was given no importance and it was shown how a women is looked down upon if she is unable to conceive in an already prejudiced society where male lineage is given favour and importance. The show reduced Sonakshi to a mere “carrier” than focusing on the truth and revelation of such news and the impact it will have on the newly couple’s life and do they plan their future going forward. The emotional and mental support to get through this stage of their lives without having to deal with the harsh stigma of society. The show could have shown both the Dixits and Boses as a family support structure which is what modern day families are all about, but the issue was skimmed over and the issues were skirted around and yet again only focused on Ishwari’s emotions, wants and needs. The episodes dealing with this intense social topic saw Ishwari behaving like a woman scorned and a spoilt brat who didn’t get the toy she threw a tantrum for. At this point all these characters were murdered severely with no apparent redemption in sight until the fandom started creating an uproar on social media. Unrealistics demands made the story unrealistic and hardly digestible and unbelievable. Bascially from episodes 145 to the current 224th episode was nothing but OTT dramatics of an obsessed crazed mother who refuses to accept her grown son is married to a woman he chose. It was all Ishwari / Saas Bahu drama centric which I quote according to makers, writers, actors was NOT a saas bahu show but it will have elements of it. The story then finally lost its charm, essence and USP. The simplicity and ease with which the story was executed lost all flavour, there was no comic relief and witty retorts to relieve the tension filled episodes with ishwari, ishwari and more ishwari drama !!!

This brings me to the last 2 episodes which I want to deal with and the leading up to the ‘purported’ slap and I say purported because i treat this as any media leaked scandal for sensational, PR spin to gauge audience reaction when there are internal dynamics that cannot be resolved. Episode 223 was the comic relief which was much needed although it did nothing for the story after a while some much respite from Ishwari which gave fans some relief from the tension of the fertility or infertility, not so sure which it really is… We saw glimpses of the charm of the KRPKAB of old and most of the audience took to social media to express their heartfelt gratitude to the makers for keeping our KRPKAB intact. By far this episode was the best since episode 77 in my book. The nervousness and apprehension of sonakshi was subtlety shown in her nuances which is the essence of the old KRPKAB and Dev was in his usual, himself avatar when he’s with her, away from the stress and drama of the Dixit house. The ease and simplicity about them was kept and to top it all we had a healthy helping of Devakshi. This always helps to get through an episode. Maybe my expectations are simple hence I look for simple things and since KRPKAB applied a simple approach to their storytelling enticed me and converted me into a fan – it is with this in mind that I write this note, to thank, appreciate and share my views.

Friday’s episode was an episode to bring sense of semblance to the fans, so it an episode written, directed and produced by the fans for the fans. Everything the fans were screaming out for was all crammed into 1 21minute episode to keep the fans happy and tongues wagging in want for more of the same. But I have my own take on how the makers could have just as easily brought the entire story back on track with its old charm and maintaining its subtlety and simplistic approach.

My take on Episode 224

Sonakshi was very well within her right to outwardly express her pent up emotions and she did the correct thing by taking it out on Dev. That scene was much needed and was long overdue in fact. When Sonaskshi burst out on Dev, he was barely paying attention to what she was yelling, he was just seeing a sexier version of his wife, just like all the other outbursts, like the office scenes of her finding out about him breaking off her proposed relationship with Kunal, when she confronted him about thwarting Rithwick’s hospital plans, Dev was barely interested in what she was spewing at him, he was just glad she took the liberty to come to him, it made him feel good and wanted and that he indeed had an important place in her life. I saw this as nothing other than that. If Sonakshi needs to get Dev to pay heed, then she needs to do what she did with him when she left him and went off to her parents for a few days. That was to say a very impactful way of getting him to get her to open up to him about her fears, needs and desires. It’s the only time Dev actually hears his wife’s internal conflicts. The planned dinner wasn’t need as Dev and Sonakshi are 2 simple souls in love and any place is paradise for them. To carry the charm of the previous episode, I would have preferred Sonakshi leave Dev and go back to Dixit house in that ridiculous dress Ishwar chose, Dev finally follows her home and she has the outburst in the Dixit house bringing down the roof. This would have given Ishwari a virtual slap and a wake up call to both mother and son and all other dixits. Ishwari would have realised exactly Dev’s stand between his wife and her. Dev only comes to his senses when Sonakshi walks out on him, which is his biggest fear of his life. Ishwari would have realised the elaborate preparations with which she meticulously planned her sons sex life is never going to give her a grandchild if she does not stop with her obsession and for the rest of the free loading dixits it shows them the strength of women to stand her ground and stand up for herself without being disrespectful to her in laws and elders. Although some may argue that it sounds OTT but its OTT with reality. Husbands and Wives do fight, all the time screaming shouting hurling cursing and then silent treatment to follow and only after that that introspection, realisation, apology, the missing, the pining starts to happen. The couples give in then the honeymoon phase post the fight which lead to passionate lovemaking and makeup sex. All this sets the tone for that (not 1 outburst and next minute sex). Sonakshi just got the dealt the worse news of her life, her chances of becoming a mother are almost no- existent, furthermore her husband kept this biggest truth from her, for whatever reason he did it, it is still bound to hurt and anger you immensely, and to top that he made her believe that she was already pregnant. That is too much to process and forgive within just 2 episodes. If this is reality based with hints of fiction then this track should have lasted at least 10 episodes dedicated to the emotional breakdown and build-up of Sonakshi and Dev being the ever supportive husband including the bose and dixit family dynamic. In this episode fake snow, elaborate dinner and the dance was really unnecessary to set a tone and mood. That bit didn’t fit and I felt those scenes could have been better utilised showing Dev and Sona exploring a different shade of their love and relationship. For the record (now their dances are becoming repetitive and doesn’t have the desired effect on the audience). Their very first dance, Ministers ball had all the fire, passion and intensity their dances should now be having since they are married. Dev and Sonakshi married life lacks passion, period !!! They can just as easily be called BFF’s ore Bhai-Behen (there is nothing to distinguish hubby and wife from this). There is more passion injected into Ishwari and Dev’s scenes than Sonakshi and Dev. Well since the precap of episode 225 shows the foreplay of Dev and Sonakshi and shirtless Dev doing the rounds, I guess the makers fast tracked the forgiveness to the makeup sex. Call me a prude but seeing a bare chested man is not my thing, although I find this scene really out of context to the actual progression of the story, if I can still call a story. To me, this all seems ill-fitted. I understand KRPKAB doesn’t labour on issues but this is one very key issue which shift the story to its next phase. However, in saying this the slapgate issue of a son in law intentionally or accidentally hitting your father in law is morally degrading and however it is written into the script in the name of creative DYNAMISM or is shot cinematically is just NOT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE OR JUSTIFIABLE in any way if your genre is Family Drama / Comedy. KRPKAB’s makers have an obligation to the public and broadcasting authorities to show content that is meaningful and will not propagate violence,abuse, preach hate speech and social mis-conduct. This unfortunately falls in this category. No matter what the build-up of events that lead up it will not justify a son in law slapping jis father in law especially after you had just sex with his daughter. It is dishonouring to your own self respect and women in general, hence I say the lovemaking track doesn’t not sit well in relation to the upcoming tracks. It feels like this scene was just slapped in for some measure. I would have preferred Sonakshi and Dev talk it through and just calmly cuddle and lie in each other’s arms, that would be way more meaningful.

The Scenes which have thoroughly impacted me with its realistic and simplistic approach

1. The night Dev drove around to find a Puchka Wala and had him delivered to Sona’s house 2. Dev making a sandwich for Sona 3. Their evening drives and coffee dates 4. Their whatsapp love 5. Sona leaving Dev to go to her parents and Dev realising her importance and going to pacify her 6. Bijoy throwing them out together to figure out their issues and find a solution

All these scenes had the subtle charm of KRPKAB

What I would like to see in future of KRPKAB

1. Bijoy and Dev are 2 peas from the same pod, their relationship explored as a father and son in law 2. Dev and Asha – Dev to see what the real essence of a mother’s love truly is explored through Asha (that to redeem Ishwari) 3. Dev concentrating more on his business than pandering to Ishwari’s needs 4. Sonakshi building her business and career as a professional business women and Nutritionist 5. Dev and Sonakshi talking more about their future 6. Dev and Sonakshi on a weekly date night – away from family and work 7. More of their whatsapp love 8. Dev and Sonakshi doing normal husband wife things like grocery and household shopping 9. Sonakshi building a bond with Neha 10. Dev spending more time at the Bose house 11. Sonakshi and Dev reminiscing about their clandestine days – visit the places they used to meet and spend time, where they shared their 1st kiss, held hands, danced etc 12. Dev and Sonakshi planning their fertility treatment together with no interference from others 13. Devkashi wining and dining with couple friends doing couple things (like playing games, board games) 14. Dev watching sport with Saurabh and Bijoy 15. An event or company function of Dev which he introduces Sona

Basically to show the all-round and well-rounded couple and how they work together to keep all the balls juggling in the air with each building on their relationships, growing their characters, helping each other grow too in that process, learning, teaching and moving the story forward maintaining its simplistic approach keeping intact its essence and USP. The charm of KRPKAB

However this show unfolds, dramatically or subtly, KRPKAB has broken stereotypes with its 1st 100 episodes, let’s hope the makers can bring it back on track without the OTT drama and we see it going strong for at least another year.

For a show that is just 10 months old and has bagged 7 awards in this short period speaks highly of the value of content this show has and its broad appeal. These accolades never come easy in an industry that is highly competitive, so this means that KRPKAB is doing something very right. Let this good fortune continue to reign and the team continues to raise the bar with the writing, dialogues, cinematography, acting skills and overall production winning more awards for its excellent content to highlight social issues still so prevalent in our societies across the globe and promoting woman empowerment.

Let KRPKAB become reach a CULT status.

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