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charmspop · 2 years

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Thank You this should be a CD/TV Bible

Cross-Dressing 101

The frequently asked questions (FAQ’s) includes advice for CD/TV’s and the Women in their lives (Wife, Girlfriend, Fiancee, Mother, Sister, etc.).

Do you consider yourself a Transvestite (TV), Cross-Dresser (CD), Trans-Sexual (TS), Drag Queen, Trans-Gendered (TG), She-Male, or something else? I am a Trans-Vest-ite (TV).

Are you heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual? I am strictly heterosexual, regardless of what I am wearing. I adore women.

What is a Transvestite (TV)? Here is the clinical definition:

Do you have a simpler definition of transvestism? Yes; here is my condensed definition: A Transvestite is a man that needs to occasionally play dress-up games in a female costume.

What is a Cross-Dresser? Cross-Dresser is a recent term for Transvestite. Since the word trans-vest-ite (tv) sounds so much like trans-sex-ual (ts), many people prefer to be called a cross-dresser (cd). This is because transsexuals (ts) and transvestites (tv) are COMPLETELY different types of people; yet, to the casual observer, they may appear to be the same. (Someone once stated that a Cross-Dresser is a TransVestite in denial). You will often find Transvestite (TV) and Cross-Dresser (CD) used interchangeably (CD/TV).

Is my husband/son/bf/brother gay because he’s a Cross-Dresser? Probably Not … Sounds strange, yet it’s true. Even us CD/TV’s wonder about this early on. I mean it makes NO sense that I want to put on panties and a dress, but am NOT attracted to men. The fact is that transvestites are MORE likely to be heterosexual than the average male population. This is a documented fact and makes sense. Cross-dressing is a FETISH relating to the FEMALE body. It is an extreme ADORATION of the FEMININE.

What causes transvestism (Cross-Dressing)? No one knows. The Nature vs Nurture battle continues. For over 20 years I have been researching this, and when we started this blog and started collecting survey information from thousands of other CD/TV’s, I was certain we would be able to find a common thread, which would enlighten us. Unfortunately, the “experts” are correct; we still don’t know why some men are more predisposed to this than others.

How can Nature be involved in Cross-Dressing? Actually, very easily. The chromosomes are different for men and women. Women have a Y/Y chromosome composition, while men have an X/Y chromosome combination. With this in mind, EVERY MAN IS ½ WOMAN. Fact of nature.

Do you have your own theory on what causes transvestism? After 20 years of researching the subject, and at the moment 7,500+ Survey results from other Trans-Gendered people; I do have some theories. I will explain them further down this page.

Can Trans-Vest-Ism (Cross-Dressing) be cured? Unfortunately Not… That is why my condensed definition uses the word needs versus the word “wants”. The “urge” to dress-up may be suppressed (sometimes for years at a time), yet it ALWAYS returns. And when people do suppress these feelings, and then it returns, it will usually return in an ever greater intensity. You may want to read this article which talks about the cycles CD/TV’s go through.

Does your family know? Absolutely not!!!

Who does know? Only Mistress Marie, and a few, select, previous significant others.

Do you ever go out in public dressed as a woman? Absolutely not.

Why not go out in public?

I have no desire to. To me this is a sexual fetish, which I confine to the limits of my house / bedroom.

I am too tall/big … not ‘passable’.

I am heterosexual. If I was passable, and went out in public, I would open up the possibility for men to 'hit’ on me. That is not my sexual preference, and it is unfair to the unsuspecting men.

If you are so much 'In The Closet’, why do this blog? This blog allows me to remain virtually anonymous. If that anonymity weren’t available, I wouldn’t have done this. As I have stated on my opening comments, Mistress Marie and I have invested a great deal of time and effort understanding and trying to cope with this situation. There are other people going through similar things, and maybe some of this information can help them.

Do You ever go to Chat Rooms? Google Chat.

What do you think about taking Female Hormones, having breast implants, etc.? We have to CLEARLY distinguish between TV and TS. trans-VEST-ite and trans-SEX-ual are COMPLETELY different. Female hormones, breast implants, etc., were developed for TS’s … NOT CD/TV’s !!! The TS wants a SEX change, thus the word trans-SEX-ual. The trans-VEST-ite deals with the word “vest”, which comes from the Latin root “vestige”, meaning CLOTHING. The CD/TV does NOT want a sex change, to them/us it is ALL about the CLOTHING and the feminine APPEARANCE !!! Therefore, I believe that CD/TV’s should NOT be using any female hormones, considering breast implants, etc.. As a side note, female hormones will have an adverse affect on the male sex drive and genitals. Since my Cross-Dressing is a FETISH, which means it is a SEXUAL THRILL, taking female hormones would have the opposite effect that I want !!!

What do you think about Chastity Devices? As foreplay, or a temporary control mechanism; ok. But never long term !!! Again, since Cross-Dressing is a FETISH, which means it is a SEXUAL THRILL, chastity devices would have the opposite effect that I want !!! I am a FIRM believer in sexual ENHANCEMENT. This means that things should be done to PROMOTE sexual arousal, not deny it.

Are you saying you wouldn’t want to feel the weight of real breasts, have well rounded hips, small waistline, custom fit for a corset? I would LOVE all of those things … BUT I’m not willing to compromise my male persona to do it. If there was a “magic” suit that could turn me from male to female and back again, I would LOVE it. But there’s not. I will continue to keep my cross-dressing at the DRESSING level … using fake breasts, push-up bras, padded girdles, corsets, clip-on earrings, etc.

So, are you submissive all the time? And is she dominant all the time? No. Actually I am very assertive, almost aggressive in my male persona, and she is very easy going, almost submissive in her female persona. Mistress Marie & Sissy Cheri` allow both of us to express our extreme opposites.

What do you think of marriage, family, etc.? We believe in a traditional family structure (Husband, Wife, Children, etc.) My cross-dressing desires are strictly a bedroom / private thing. What happens in the bedroom between a husband and wife is no one else’s business. We also believe in fidelity, i.e., no extra-marital affairs. This blog is/was designed to HELP MARRIED PEOPLE STAY MARRIED while dealing with x-dressing.

Can a marriage survive Cross-Dressing? YES …. BUT with the current divorce rate in America at 50% … there are LOTS of things which can break up a marriage. For those other 50% that have learned the UNITY and COMMITMENT of marriage, and have learned to make it work, then absolutely YES.

OK, it is possible … is it easy? NO … BUT it is possible. Remember the 1960’s when Women’s Lib came out ??? Here we are 60 years later, and few people remember the turmoil of that issue. Remember BRA BURNINGS ??? Someone once said “That for every woman who wants to burn her bra, there’s a man willing to put it on”. Interesting …. I’m not going to mention that persons name here, but they were EXTREMELY correct !!! I would be willing to bet that today’s CD/TV who acknowledges their “issue” will run into a great deal of resistance. As this issue comes more to light, say in 5-10 years, the success rate will increase dramatically. It is ALL a matter of public opinion and ACCEPTANCE. There was a day when a woman wearing pants was UNTHINKABLE !!!

How do you feel about telling children? I think that children should not be included in bedroom matters of adults. If you want to help your children, LISTEN to them and teach them correct things. Don’t use words or phrases like “real men” or “sissies”, etc.. Do NOT teach bigotry, racism, etc..

I caught my son wearing a dress … what should I do? DO NOT FLIP OUT !!! A father’s first thought is “Is my son gay”, followed by “What did I do wrong?”. Relax, take a deep breath, and continue reading. I know you’re saying “It’s not your son, so it’s easy for you to say don’t flip out!”. Well, you’re right … it’s not my son … BUT I was the son, who snuck into my sisters bedroom and tried on their dresses. And I am also the same son that THANKS GOD my father never caught me !!! My mother would have probably spanked me to tears, but my dad would have went ballistic !!! Remember this, MOST gay men do NOT wear women’s clothing … and MOST cross-dressers are NOT gay. If you did catch your son, he may just be curious, and curiosity is how children learn (no matter what we say happened to the cat). The causes of homosexuality in men DOES NOT RELATE TO DRESSING EN-FEMME. Fact.

Why do you Dress Up? There are several reasons. Primarily as a sexual fetish, and secondarily as an emotional/psychological escape. I have written an entire article on that subject alone.

How long have you had this urge to cross-dress? Since I was about 4 or 5 years old. It was initially a curiosity, which I never had the opportunity to either outgrow, or have someone explain to me. At puberty, it became a sexual fetish.

Did something happen at that time? Yes. There was a very specific incident, which seems like yesterday. However, I firmly believe it takes other influences, outside of a single incident, to develop this type of fetish. The incident occurred at a birthday party, when I was 4 or 5 years old. There were LOTS of kids; my sisters and I, lots of cousins and neighborhood kids. One little boy was being mean to a little girl. His mother and my mother decided to teach him a lesson. They forced him to wear the little girls dress, and he was paraded around in front of everyone. He was SO humiliated. After that, I had this urge … this curiosity. Since I have several sisters, I had the opportunity to sneak into their wardrobe, and try some things on. Due to my parents divorce soon after that, I was now responsible for the well being of my sisters, and forced to 'be a man’, at a very early age. The combination of these factors may have contributed to my current situation.

Do you blame your mom, dad, sisters, life or genetics? I don’t blame anyone. I have a condition which I am forced to live with. How I do that is my own choice. I do STRONGLY feel that parents who use cross-dressing as a form of punishment (petticoat punishment), are forming a much bigger problem. Case in point … the insensitivity of the young boy was the issue, not the clothes being worn. I think statements like 'Real Men’ this or 'Sissies’ that can create LARGE problems. Any sort of punishment which associates action to gender is wrong. I feel VERY strongly about that, and this is my blog, so I’ll repeat it ANY SORT OF PUNISHMENT WHICH ASSOCIATES ACTION TO GENDER IS WRONG!

If the incident regarded little girls clothes, is that your fetish? No. My fetish is VERY much adult female clothing. Clothing which is considered extremely feminine. This includes Corsets, High-Heel Shoes, Silk, Satin, Garters, Stockings, etc. I think that initially the curiosity was girls clothing, and I just happened to be that age. But once I became sexually active, my association is to adult feminine articles of clothing only.

Did the incident affect your current situation then? Yes. I think it strongly influenced several aspects of my fetish. A) The women LOVED this child. They were not out to cause harm, just discipline him. B) Female Domination, or commonly referred to as FemDom. C) Forced Feminization These aspects are critical to my fetish. What that means, is I only want to wear women’s clothing, if forced to, by a dominant woman that I know LOVES me. When dressed up, I become very submissive, and VERY aroused.

What is your personal theory on Cross-Dressing? I will try to keep this simple. This blog is full of articles which will explain things in more detail. That being said, here is my opinion: A) I believe NATURE is the main factor which makes some men more predisposed to transvestism than others. B) Cross-Dressing is another facet of a person’s personality, and therefore can never be removed.Repressing this side of your personality will ultimately cause problems. Learn to cope C) I also think NUTURE has a role in this. I think that childhood events have a significant impact on the SPECIFICS of each CD/TV’s fantasy. Let me explain that further, using my own childhood experience as the example. Remember the incident, and how I think it affected me. A) Interesting to note that the little boy was never spanked. Also, spanking is NOT one of my turn-ons. B) I was also never caught dressed up by a man or other boys. It was ENTIRELY done by WOMEN. I’m convinced this greatly effects my heterosexuality. C) Focusing on the homosexual & bisexual survey results, I have found a pattern. I have seen MANY cases where little boys were caught by men or other boys while enfemme, and then forced into sexual acts.

Where did your name, Sissy Cheri`, come from? There are two parts to that question.

Why does your blog contain more information than just understanding or coping? For years … and years … I have tried to repress these feelings. I have carried A LOT of shame, embarrassment, guilt, doubt, and fears. I don’t think it’s possible for me to convey the amount of shame that myself, and others like me, have to live with. So, if I can’t repress it, learn to cope. Coping requires information. Finding out what you are, and are not, is very important. My current approach is this … If I can’t go around it, I must have to go through it. Mistress Marie’s approach is this … If you can’t repress it, let’s have some fun with it. However, I realize most people will not be able to tell their S/O, and A Professional Dominatrix may be what is required. I personally would never have the courage to go to a Dominatrix, but I have a great deal of respect for these women, at least those who truly understand and care about what we go through.

Are you implying not all Dominatrix’s understand or care? That is exactly what I am saying. There are many women who think they can put on some leather, spiked heels, buy a whip and viola … instant Domme !!! Word of caution, do your homework.

Should I tell my S/O (Significant Other - Wife, Fiancee, Girlfriend, etc.)? That is a VERY complicated question. There is an entire article on that subject.

Why are there no pictures of Cheri` dressed enfemme? When I am dressed-up as Cheri`, I FEEL like Jessica Rabbit on the inside, but on the outside, I just look like a guy in a dress. However, there are LOTS of CD/TV’s who look wonderful enfemme.

Why do you use simulated pictures of Jessica Rabbit? You could say she is the perfect icon for the cross-dresser, for several reasons:

Favorite Quote #1 - By Lolo Ferrari - A Real Woman (GG - Genetic Girl) “I’m like a transvestite,” she said. “I’ve created a femininity that’s completely artificial.”

Favorite Quote #2 - By Dolly Parton - A Real Woman (GG - Genetic Girl) “If I had not been born a woman, I would have surely been a drag queen!”

Favorite Quote #3 - By Tish Summers “The art of lovemaking can be complex. There are so many different ways to produce, heighten and sustain an orgasm. Yet, we all have our 'personal space boundaries’. Areas which we create subconsciously around ourselves as a means of defense… To allow another person entrance to our 'personal space boundary’ is an act of total trust, but trust has to be earned, it doesn’t come easily … When that moment does arrive, when you can readily open yourself to another person, the possibilities and the delights are endless … Experimentation can help introduce wondrous moments into your sex life, but it all begins, with trust …”

- Sissy Cheri`

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