chaurora - Tumblr blog

[chaurora]

Jack (so far): I would walk through fire for my son. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because you know… my hair.

[chaurora]

If Adelaide never left EAS, Rory would've started calling her Addy

[chaurora]

🎶oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches!🎶

[chaurora]

He's genderfluid, he's a transman, he's transfem, he's actually cis and gnc, he's a transwoman but look the exact same as in canon, he's transmasc and wears feminine clothes, he's nonbinary

[chaurora]

Round 1, Round 15: The Tale of Despereaux vs The Ever Afters

[chaurora]

Therapy With Chase

Chapter 2: Best Friends

As I lay in bed the night after my session, I thought about Cal. He always encouraged me to talk about things, no matter how bad they were or how much trouble I would get in, he always helped me find the right words to tell him about it. He would be so proud of me if he saw me now.

In a way, I was glad that Rory told me to go to therapy. It made me feel closer to Cal. This was just one more way I was following in his footsteps.

I got to the waiting room and sat down. My first session, I had been too nervous to really look around. I decided to loom around the room while I waited for my therapist to call me back.

There was a fish tank on a desk along one of the walls. There were several colorful fish swimming in the water. I always loved to watch fish swim. Swimming wasn't for me, but there was something about watching fish that made me feel so happy.

The chairs along the wall were black with blue fabric padding, they were pretty comfortable, but the couch in Shannon's office was a lot better. There was a table in the middle with some magazines.

"Chase?" Shannon asked. I jumped a little. She smiled and I followed her back into the room. I took a seat on the couch and she sat across from he in her chair.

"So Chase, it's nice to see you back!" She said. I gave her a half smile in return.

"It's been a week since I saw you last, so why don't you tell me a little bit about how your week has been?" I had to think about that for a moment.

"What exaclty do you wanna know?" I asked. She seemed slightly amused by my question.

"Just tell me a little but about your week. Maybe some things you've done this week or how your mood has been, some things you've been feeling, just tell me about your week" She explained.

"Well, I mostly hung out with Rory I guess" I said.

"Okay, why don't you tell me more about that?" She asked.

"What do you wanna know?" I asked. An amused smile was on her face once again.

"What did you two do together?" She asked.

"Well, we trained and talked" I said. She raised her eyebrows, urging me to go on. I thought for a moment.

"We talked about therapy and how it went. He was glad that I didn't hate it like I thought I would" She smiled.

"You can shut me down here if I'm stepping out of bounds, but I get the sense that Rory is a very important person in your life. You light up when you talk about him"

I could feel my face heat up, "Yeah, he really is" I said.

"Why don't you tell me more about that? Why is he so important to you? What do you like about him?"

I tried to think of a way to talk about him without giving away too much.

"He's important to me becuase he's my best friend. When I first moved in with my dad, I made friends with a girl named Adelaide. She was my only friend at the time, but she wasn't a good friend for me. She only cared about what she wanted and always tried to get me to be mean to people when I didn't want to. I had a few other friends who didn't know much about me or care about me very much, but I only knew real friendship when I met Rory" I felt silly saying all of that out loud.

"Can you explain what you mean by that?" She asked.

"Well, Rory had always been unapologetically himself no matter what anyone else thinks. I really admired that. He was always so nice to everyone, even when they weren't very nice to him. He was even nice to me most of the time, when we weren't fighting. Even when he was mad at me though, he never once made fun of me for being myself. For some reason, being myself is just easier around him...I guess" I said. Shannon had a look on her face that I couldn't quite read.

"And that makes Rory very important to you?" She asked.

"Yeah, I guess. I don't think I could handle losing him" I laughed off the last part, but it was true. He's the greatest thing that's happened to me since Cal and I don't think I could handle another loss like that. I think Shannon could tell becuase she changed the subject.

"Why don't you tell me about how training has been going?"

I got lost in explaining all of my training methods and before I knew it, the session was over. The things I said in this session about Rory were things I had never really said out loud. I hadn't even called him my best friend before. I felt sort of good, lighter almost. I was honestly sort of excited for the next session.

[chaurora]

ok so you see. chase is a trans boy but uses she/he/they pronouns. he gets dysphoria from stereotypical “feminine” things (pink wings, showing emotions, sleeping beauty tale, etc) but frequently wears dresses and makeup (rory played a large part in this). some of the insecurities they have about gender and about being half-fey overlap, and both of his parents sometimes unintentionally fuel these insecurities. I like to believe that gender identity and presentation among fey is quite different than it is with humans, but there are still some similar societal pressures.

[chaurora]

Therapy With Chase

Chapter 1: Introductions

"Hi Chase, it's nice to meet you! My name's Shannon!" The woman, Shannon I guess, stuck her hand out for me to shake. She seemed far too enthusiastic about this for my liking. I took her hand and shook it briefly before sitting on the little purple couch that sat across from Shannon's chair. As I sat, I thought of the circumstances that brought me here.

~~

I had been having a really rough night, flashbacks from my childhood were filling my head and there was nothing I could do to get rid of them. I felt hopeless and couldn't handle it on my own anymore. I knew that seeing Rory was the only thing that would bring me back to reality. Luckily for me, Rory was sleeping over at Lena's house.

I threw my jacket on and began the walk to Lena's. When I got there, I went straight to Lena's window. I didn't want to wake her grandma. I just hoped that Rory and Lena would be awake.

I knocked gently on the window, thankfully, it didn't take much to get Rory's attention. She opened the window and looked at me confused.

"Are you here to crash our sleepover?" He asked. He seemed sort of excited by the idea. Before I spoke, I made a quick mental note to remember to call Rory he instead of she. It hadn't been long since Rory came out, and I was still struggling to get his new pronouns right.

"No," I choked out, my voice didn't sound nearly as secure as I wanted it to. Rory took notice of that instantly. He looked over his shoulder at Lena.

"I'm gonna go talk to Chase for a second, I'll be right back" he said before climbing out the window.

"Follow me" he said as he led me to the tree in Lena's yard. He sat below it and motioned for me to sit next to him. I sat down and tried to avoid looking at him.

"So, what's the matter Chase? You don't usually come to me unless it's really serious" he asked. I looked at him for a second and tried to tell him what I was thinking, but I chickened out right before the words actually came out.

"I can't talk about it" I sighed. I was frustrated that I could never talk about these kinds of things, even with my best friend. I could tell Rory was a little frustrated too, but he'd never get after me for it.

"Okay, do you wanna listen to music for a minute?" he asked. I smiled a little. Me and Rory had come up with a routine for when I was upset like this. If I couldn't talk about it, Rory would pull out his headphones and we would listen to music. I really liked music, but I had never really had much chance to listen to it as a kid. I liked listening to Rory's playlists, but I sort of wanted one of my own.

"Chase? Music?" he asked. I blinked as I realized I had been sitting and staring into space for the past few seconds instead of answering his question.

"Yes, music sounds great" I sighed.

We listened to a few songs and I felt better. My brain had finally snapped back to reality and I felt better as "Ain't it Fun" by Paramore played in the headphones.

"I'm good Roars" I said. Rory smiled, but the smile was a little off. He had something on his mind.

"Say it Rory" I said. I could tell he had something he wanted to say to me. He thought for a moment.

"Chase, why is it that you can't tell me things? I know it's hard for you to think about your childhood, but you know you can talk to me. What do you think it is that stops you from talking to me?" he asked. I thought about it for a moment. Why couldn't I tell Rory? I trust him And my life.

"I guess it's becuase I know you. You know how I am and I still have to talk to you and be your friend after you know all of that about me. It's just hard to talk to someone I know, especially someone I'm close to" I replied. Rory thought for a moment.

"Would you feel better talking to someone who doesn't know you?" he asked. I was confused. How would I talk to someone who doesn't know me?

"I guess, what exaclty do you mean?" I asked. Rory smiled.

"I mean a therapist Chase" he said. Therapy, my brother had done that. I don't know much about it, all I knew is that Cal always came home crying or feeling awful.

"That sounds awful Rory" I laughed. He looked confused.

"Why?" he asked.

"Becuase therapy makes you cry and stuff" I said.

"Well yeah therapy makes you cry, but you need to cry sometimes to feel better Chase. I love going to therapy!" Rory smiled. I was shocked. Therapy is only for people who have watched someone die or something awful like that.

"You're in therapy?" I asked. He laughed at my shock.

"Yes Chase, I've been in therapy since my parents got divorced" I thought about that for a second.

"So, you can just go to therapy? Like for any problems you have?" I asked.

"Yes Chase, anyone can go to therapy for any reason. EAS has a great therapy program! You should check it out" he tried. I looked at him for a moment, he clearly wanted me to say yes and I couldn't handle disappointing him right now. But my dad would never be okay with that.

"My dad would never go for it Rory" I said.

Little did I know that would lead to Rory and Lena in my living room talking to my dad while I was asked to stand in the kitchen. I could hear little snippets of conversation coming from the other room.

"He's a man, he can handle it on his own"

"He should really give it a try Jack, he might like it"

"If you don't stop being a jackass, I'm gonna have to call your ex wife"

The last one was Rory, he was obviously very passionate about me going to therapy. He never talked to adults like that unless he had to.

After a little more yelling and commotion, Dad came into the kitchen looking tired and defeated.

"You start therapy on Monday Chase, no complaining" he said. Part of me wanted to protest, but I knew it would upset Rory, so I just let it go and resigned myself to the harsh reality that would catch me on Monday.

~~

"So Chase, today I just want to get to know you a little bit today, nothing too scary" Shannom spoke making an obvious effort to comfort me. I looked at her until she spoke again.

"Before we start, why don't I tell you a little bit about how our sessions are gonna go in here?" I nodded.

"First of all, I wanna tell you that our sessions are private. No one outside of this room will know what's happening except for specific circumstances. Since you're a minor, I will have to tell your father if you are planning on hurting yourself or other people. Other than that, I won't tell him anything unless he specifically asks for it and even then I've encouraged him not to ask anything. I will communicate with you before I answer any of his questions and I'll tell you everything I said" she explained.

"Is that okay?" she asked when I didn't say anything in response. I nodded.

"There's more we'll talk about as we go along, but basically you're gonna come in here and we're gonna talk about things that are going on in your life. If you can't think of anything to talk about, I'll ask you questions to help you out. Most importantly, these are your sessions Chase, you're in charge. If we ever talk about something that you're not ready to talk about, you can tell me you don't want to talk and we will move on to something else. If there's something you do wanna talk about, that's what we'll talk about. Does that sound okay?" she asked. I nodded again.

"Okay, as I said, I'm gonna ask you a few questions today. Just to get to know you a little. But, in order to make this work, I'm gonna need you to talk to me a little, do you think you can do that?" I nodded again. She looked at me for a second. I could feel my face heat up from the attention.

"Yes, I can do that" I tried. She smiled.

"Okay, to start off, do you go by Chase or is there something else you'd rather be called?" she asked. I didn't need to think about that one.

"Yeah, just Chase" I replied.

"Okay, well it's lovely to meet you Chase. What pronouns do you go by?" she asked.

"Sh-" I started. My stomach dropped to my toes and I hid my reaction behind a cough.

"He/him" I said. She smiled at me, politely ignoring my reaction to the slip.

"Okay great, why don't you tell me why you're here today? You don't have to go into detail, just generally" she asked.

"My friend thought it would be good for me" I said.

"Do you know why they thought it would be good for you?" She asked.

"Yeah, sh-he thought it would be good for me becuase I can't talk about my problems with him or anyone else"

"And why's that?"

"Becuase I know them, I don't wanna talk to people I know" I didn't like that she kept asking follow up questions. I think she could tell I was getting frustrated becuase she changed the subject.

"Why don't you tell me more about this friend of yours?" She tried.

"His name's Rory, he's my best friend" that was all I wanted to tell her really. Though it was one of my favorite things to do, talking about Rory was hard.

"Is there anything else you'd like me to know about him?" She asked. Oh no, just the fact that I'm in love with him. I shook my head.

She asked me a few more basic questions about my life and it all stayed very surface level. I stopped it when it started to get any deeper. At the end of the session, she stood up and walked me out of her office.

"Thank you for participating in our session today Chase, I look forward to seeing you next week!" She said as she waved goodbye.

This wasn't too bad so far, maybe therapy wouldn't be as awful as I thought.

[chaurora]

sir that is my emotional support snarky tragic male character with parental issues

[chaurora]

ok I am so curious for your thoughts now so for the character thing-chase

I have many thoughts about Chase!!!

Favorite thing about them: I think his capacity for love is my favorite thing about him. He loves all of the people around him so strongly and he'd do anything for them. He can love people so fiercely in a way that I wish I could.

Favorite line: "Rory. Please stop talking. I'm trying to do this right"

BrOTP: I love him and Chatty! I also love him and Ben!

OTP: Chase and Rory! No one else!

NOTP: Him and Adelaide. He deserved so much better than her

Random Headcanon: He is absolutely some kind of transfem and he loves to wear makeup

Unpopular Opinion: I don't know what opinions are popular, but I think that he deserves to leave his mother entirely and cut off contact. She was horrible to him.

Song I Associate With Them: Perfect by Simple Plan

Favorite Picture of them:

[chaurora]

Rory!

favorite thing about them: Her bravery/loyalty. She will throw herself into battle no hesitation (this is often not exactly a good thing) to protect both strangers and loved ones alike. Her determination to protect her family and friends is incredible.

least favorite thing about them: Rory. I love you. But you are so so stupid and oblivious sometimes.

favorite line: the book is her pov and thoughts so I AM COUNTING THIS. “Sometimes around Chase, all I wanted to do was hold my breath and see what happened next.”

brOTP: Rory and Lena best friends forever and ever

OTP: chaurora<3

nOTP: honestly idk. I think I’ve seen people ship her and rapunzel which is a no for me so that ig

random headcanon: she’s ambidextrous (I feel like this might be canon but I’m not sure? I don’t think it is?). If it is then another hc I have is that she gave herself a horrible haircut at 8 years old and Maggie and Amy laughed so hard but were also so stunned by how well it grew back

unpopular opinion: I don’t think I have one for her😭

song i associate with them: anti-hero by taylor swift (or disenchanted by mcr to get a break from the taylor swift)

favorite picture of them: of enemies and endings for the win again

[chaurora]

For the send me a character, Chase!

thank you for the ask :)

favorite thing about them: everything he’s my favorite probably his ability to be so selfless at certain times. He can tell when to stop the jokes and be calm and supportive. He’ll put his entire focus on the person(s) he’s helping and I love those moments (ex: rory and the beanstalk)

least favorite thing about them: the fact that he very very rarely opens up to people or asks for help. Chase baby PLEASE be vulnerable :(

favorite line: it’s a three way tie between “Rory. Please stop talking. I’m trying to do this right.” “Two words Rory: fairy wings.” and “Positive. Only Rory looks at me like that when I rescue her.”

brOTP: him and chatty. The stupid jokes and shenanigans that occur with them are amazing and I wish we had gotten more

OTP: chaurora next question

nOTP: him and adelaide :/

random headcanon: bro absolutely LOVES movies. Not only does he think the technology is incredible, he also just loves the stories. His favorite is mulan

unpopular opinion: idk if this is unpopular but I wish his wings stayed pink :((((

song i associate with them: leaning on my go-to artist for characters/ships and picking you’re on your own kid by taylor swift

favorite picture of them: the fact that there are only 4 pictures of chase and none are book accurate is the biggest tragedy of our century… I don’t particularly love any of them but I like this one best

[chaurora]

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them

least favorite thing about them

favorite line

brOTP

OTP

nOTP

random headcanon

unpopular opinion

song i associate with them

favorite picture of them

[chaurora]

Chase playlist! He's such a simple plan boy

[chaurora]

Love and Other Drama

Chapter 6

"You have to ask him Rory, you're the one concerned" Lena said. I groaned. Lena made a shooing motion with her hands. I got up and walked over to the lunch table where Chase and a few of his friends were sitting.

"Chase, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked. His face lit up.

"Of course you can! I always have time for my favorite tech kid!" He got up and followed me to the hallway.

"What's this for? You never wanna talk to me" Chase said.

"I had a question about our project" I said hoping he didn't catch on to my obvious concern.

"One that you had to ask me alone in a hallway?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"It's for your benefit, not mine" I started. "I wanted to know if you were really okay with doing the scene. We can change the characters story if you need us to, but we have to turn our idea in soon. So we need an answer"

"I gave you an answer Rory, I said I was fine with it" he replied.

"I know, you just seemed really uncomfortable with the idea and I...we wanted to make sure you were actually okay with it" He looked nervous for a moment and then quickly covered it up with a sappy smile.

"Aww, you were worried about me. I'm touched!" He fawned. I rolled my eyes again.

"Yeah yeah drama queen, are you cool with it or not?" I asked. He looked deciding for a second.

"Yes Rory, I'm cool with it" he said. I offered him an awkward thumbs up and began walking back to my table.

"Rory?" He called. I turned around.

"Thank you for asking again" he said seeming very genuine. I smiled.

"No problem" The bell rang then and I walked to the table to pick up my stuff.

"He was cool with it" I said as we walked to out tech class.

"I told you he would be, sometimes you read too much into things" Lena replied. We took our seats as Mr. Bailey began the class.

"Today I'd like to hear some of your ideas, I'd also like you to begin a script for your actors. They are doing us a favor by helping us with this project, I ask that you make things as easy on them as possible" he said.

As usual, Mr. Bailey was thrilled with our idea. He always loved my ideas and Lena was one of his favorite students.

"Tomorrow I'd like you two to meet with Chase and work out his space within your set, you should be great if you stay on the path your on" said Mr. Bailey.

Another meeting with Chase, I was not excited.

[chaurora]

Love and Other Drama

Chapter 5

"Kyle, I can't do it. He's gonna know I like him" I heard Chase say.

"He won't know man, he's completely oblivious, I promise" Kyle said back.

"He can't know I'm gay dude" Chase said. I immediately stopped listening and felt awful. I was not supposed to hear that. So that's why he looked nervous. He doesn't want anyone to know. And apparently, there's a specific boy who can't know. I had no idea him and Kyle were that close. I walked away quickly.

"Hey Lena, do you think we should maybe switch our scene around? Change some things?" I asked.

"Like what?" Lena asked skeptically.

"I was thinking, maybe the character isn't gay. Maybe he like couldn't handle his alcohol or something" I tried.

"Rory, what the gumdrops are you taking about? You're always all for queer representation in plays" She said.

"Well yeah, I was just thinking that Chase seemed uncomfortable with it" I tried again. Lena looked at me skeptically.

"Since when do you care how Chase feels?" She asked. I felt a little trapped.

"I know it sounds silly, but he looked a little too nervous. What if he was actually queer or something? That might be a sensitive topic for him" I hoped this would convince her.

"Rory, I'm sure if he was he would've said he was uncomfortable with it. He told us it was fine. If he wants to change it, we will, but for now we're too close to the deadline to change our idea" Lena reasoned. I guess that made sense. We had to turn in our idea soon and Chase did say he was fine with it.

"Can we just ask him one more time? Just to make sure" I asked. Lena sighed.

"We can ask him"

[chaurora]

Love and Other Drama

Chapter 4

"I can't do this Lena, I really can't" I complained. Lena rolled her eyes.

"You can and you will, I am not doing this project by myself" She retorted. We needed to meet with Chase to discuss his acting boundaries. I was not ready at all to meet with him.

"Uggggggghhhhhhhh" I groaned. We walked up to the door of the library and I took a deep breath. This was going to be insufferable. We opened the door to find a beautiful blonde boy beaming at us.

"Rory, my favorite guy!" He shouted, way too loud for a library. I cringed inward before scowling at him.

"Chase" I acknowledged. His face dropped a bit, but he held his smile.

"Hi Chase, it's nice to see you. Are you ready to discuss boundaries?" Lena asked sweetly. Sometimes I resented her polite nature. I wished she was a little more snarky to Chase. He smiled wider.

"Thank you Lena, it's nice to see you too" he said with a pointed look in my direction. "I'm more than ready to discuss"

"Okay, so we were thinking about a mental breakdown sort of thing" Lena began to explain.

"Perfect, I'm great at mental breakdown scenes!" Chase looked excited. "So why am I having a breakdown?" Lena was excited to explain. We had worked on this scene plan for days. We argued good naturedly about it for hours. We finally settled on a loose concept.

"You're at a party and this really popular guy asked if he could kiss you and you were drunk enough to be honest with yourself and say yes. You weren't even admitting to yourself that you were gay yet. You found out that it was a prank and he went around and told everyone. The scene is set in a bathroom where you're hiding from the rest of the party becuase you heard people talking about it. What do you think?" Lena asked.

Chase looked like he was gonna be sick and there was a hint of something that sort of resembled fear in his eyes. He noticed me looking a quickly covered it up. He plastered the smile back on his face. Lena was too wrapped up in a bathroom sketch to notice.

"I think it sounds angsty" he said, trying to keep his smile.

"Yes, we know that you love the angst scenes" Lena said. He tried to look thankful.

"Yeah, that sounds great. I'm just not really used to that y'know?" He breathed.

"You're not used to what? Angst scenes?" Lena asked.

"No, no. I'm great at those. I've just never played a character like that" he tried. I was starting to get angry. He always called me a boy like I asked him too, I had figured that meant he wasn't homophobic, but it was starting to look like I was wrong.

"A character like what?" Lena asked innocently.

"A gay character Lena, he doesn't wanna act gay" I fumed.

"No no no!" He quickly started. "I mean, yeah, but no. There's nothing at all wrong with being gay or playing a gay character. I just haven't done that kind of thing before"

Lena forced a smile, clearly thinking the same thing I was. "It's okay if that's out of your boundaries Chase, we can change things around if we need to. But, just know that everyone knows you're playing a character. No one's gonna think you're actually gay, people know you have a thing for Adelaide" He choked on air

"Adelaide?" He asked still coughing a bit.

"Yeah," Lena said confused. "You've been following her around like a puppy since we were freshman" I couldn't help laughing at that. He was not gonna like it.

"Adelaide follows me! I could never date Adelaide, she's like a little sister to me" he said looking like he was about to puke at the thought.

"Okay, okay. Well I'm just saying, no one's gonna think you're gay Chase" Lena said.

"No, no. It's okay. I don't give a shit what people think, I'll do it. I just was a little surprised by it is all" he backpeddled.

"Great!" Lena smiled.

I put on a fake syrupy smile, "We look forward to working with you" He still looked a little uncomfortable, but he smiled back.

"Me too Rory" he tried. Why was he so uncomfortable today? Who knows, maybe he is gay.