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"H'wat did I miss."

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I fucking love Sandy. No one does it like him. When he stole that tooth from North and Bunny? Swoon.

This man was about to knock Jamie out the old fashioned way. Straight up hands. I fucking love him.

Picked Pitch up with his sand then dropped him back down. The bitch bounced.

Fucking Mansnoozie. What a name. What a guy. What an icon. Fucking love him.

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“Everyone, go say break a leg to our Aster today, eh? Big day today. Very big.”

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my 7 year old is currently singing "H-O-T-C-O-C-O, you should make me Hot Cocoa" and I am legitimate impressed

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Lemon Meringue Pie Cheesecake (x)

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the thing about adulthood is when someone says something extremely rude to you, you can either turn the other cheek or calmly & firmly correct them. The third option is to tell them “say that again, I’ll bite you” & everyone sort of nervously laughs and tries to move on from your little joke. Which is why I think it’s very important that when they do say it again you follow through. Nobody actually expects you to bite them. We should be biting more. Also if you’re with the county health department do not read thi s post

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I do not spend nearly enough time on here doing actual in character things and YET

I want to make a Sandy sideblog

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@easterpookan

We are so back

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genuinely unhinged au idea where bandit king north swears to rob the tsar of the moon blind and instead ends up his consort. thanks

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Send my muse “What would you do if...” scenarios.

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turns out santa's workshop is still running on 32 bit windows xp so its been realy easy to scam the fuck out of the elves with ransomwear

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PETITION TO MAKE @manicpitchy GO IN THE BATH

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{ @animaterrena }

" So I heard. "

"This is what is making me so charming, no?"

Wiggles his eyebrows. He's just being ridiculous, of course, but a pretty lady is a pretty lady.

And Seraphina is a pretty lady who could break every bone in his body twice.

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GUESS WHAT TODAY IS? IT'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY. AND SANTA CLAUS HARDLY EVER WEARS GREEN, CORRECT? ...yeah jack is pinching you.

Oh, you pinch Santa? You PINCH the Claus?

North's far from hurt, but he makes a dramatic howl of a cry regardless and then drops most of his weight back on Jack to smoosh him.

"OUGH! Oh, OH, I am WOUNDED and DYING and BLEEDING and GRAVITY is CRUSHINK ME because I am TOO HEAVY... Such WOE... Such PAIN."

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"Fucking around and t'en finding out is Guardian tradition! Or, at least, I did a lot of it."

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North’s father-by-birth is Koschei the Deathless, a kind of arch-villain figure in many Russian myths where he plays the catch-all evil nemesis for protagonists to overcome (typically by finding ways to break his immortality, and often involves finding Koschei’s humanity and ‘freeing’ it from the place it’s been hidden— which is sometimes an egg inside of several other animals or objects like a matryoshka!)

Koschei is often also depicted as the son or spouse of Baba Yaga depending on the story; for our purposes here, he is Baba Yaga’s eldest son, making Nikolaus St. North her grandson by direct lineage.

North’s mother is Gryla, a giantess of Norse myth— specifically Icelandic— who punishes naughty children around Yuletide and traditionally was depicted as a child-killer and child-eater but has in modern times become something of a minor antagonist along the lines of a slightly-less-violent Krampus.

Baba Yaga did still leave baby Nikolaus to be babysat by bears, though.

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sorry guys it’s been a genuinely terrible day and I don’t think I’m gonna be up for much here

if you need me you can reach me on discord at thesamsa, but otherwise I’m probably gonna be offline or over on @sparkmender