cheebawizzard

[cheebawizzard]

july 4th kiss gng 😔

[cheebawizzard]

i used to be her baby forever and ever yo 😔

[cheebawizzard]

i wna text her my feelings, but im scared, idk why, i dont have a reason, as thats what freinds are for, but like agh

[cheebawizzard]

i feel bad writing my thought tbh, like when i write em, i feelt gulit, i feel werid, but i stukl do it so

[cheebawizzard]

sigh, idk whats weong with me man, like, ugh, i havent felt ts way since i staryed talking to her again, its not her, its what happens around her, yk, like now i feel bad, its jst werid man, im werid

[cheebawizzard]

somtimes i feel ugly, ik im not, i think, cuz like, she alwaysvgets dms all ts, and i get nada, like i shouldnt feel ugly right, at all, but for som reason indo, i think im fucked in the head uo,

[cheebawizzard]

ever jst feel maybe smth is wrong with you, because you feel luke yoyr ina relashonship with your freind, but its jst a freind thing, so no relashonship, but like, still, then you wna bash yoyr head in after you jst hear and hear that guys are coming onto her, and it really sucks, because idk, it feels werid bro, like im talkin to my gf (not really no), and then starts talkin abt her bf, like i shouldnt feel ts way were freinds, and like agh, i gotta get her out my mind yo, i dont really like ts feeling, like agh, but, idk man, i need som help with ts

[cheebawizzard]

omni man

[cheebawizzard]

blush

[cheebawizzard]

couldve been us

[cheebawizzard]

wish she couldve seen my cool skate vid ish i made

[cheebawizzard]

i remeber when i saw the king of the hill revival intro, i thought of her, and the thought of her reaction is priceless

[cheebawizzard]

all the built up shi, came out, abt 2 hours ago i was balling my eyes out around a corner at the show, i really had to man up and shi, i couldnt jst cry infront of Z, fuck, its been a hell day, it felt so werid not texting her, ive been tryna clear my mind off her, its hard tho, i wish she wouldve texted me, bro when me and the random fake acc girl, i had a really good feeling that it wad her secretly, because i know how she talks, its very distinct, but i brushed it off, another thought ive been having is that, she didnt appreciate me, like idk it felt like that, because i do sm for her, im sorry i cant get good grades, but i can get you food and a cool shirt lol, but she basically did perice my heart with a wooden steak, it was so sudden, she seemed so nonchlant with it, god whats it abt me that jst makes me unresistable, tbh maybe in a few months or so or wtv, we might be talking and daiting type shi, but idk, i hate her alot rn, but i love and miss her sm to, its so confusing, jst idk, "doctor strange look theu thousands of multiple universes, in ts only one we win"

[cheebawizzard]

Bruuuu I wanna fucking see herr :((

[cheebawizzard]

i was just being a a lazy peice of shit, im so sorry, im changing, and ik youve been hearing that, but thats all I can say atmmm, I love you smmmm, i was just being a lazy peice of shit, im going to make this right, im sorry❤️

[cheebawizzard]

in my mind ive been like "i think i have to give it time" but also there is a side of me like "but i want to make it right, now" its honeslty hard to making it right now, because all i can think of is apolgiseing, and fixing myslef, but apolgies dont really work, and the fixing myslef isnt going to be rigjt away, so i think giving it time is the best thing

[cheebawizzard]

god, im jst so incredibly fucking lucky, she gave me one final chance, i really cannot fuck this shit up, i love her so much, and her giving me one final shot is the best thing ever, the entire day or like half of it, ive been so greatful and optimistic, but also really lonley, like 30 year old alchoalic father, and it sucks, like monkey balls, so i cant lose her, and also i wanna say im sorry, just sorry for lieing, sorry for hurting you, sorry for breaking a promise, im so greatful for you, and i love you, i hope your doing very well rnn