cheer-me-up-buddy

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

Negativity, no read

I’m not getting better. I’ve tried so much already. I think I’m emotionally numb because i have deadlines coming up and I know, I know so well I need to get my act together and just do stuff but it just doesn’t work. I’m scared but not a high enough level to actually make me do what has to be done. Just now when thinking of a solution, the only thought I had was to end my life but i don’t want that but i don’t want to exist either i just want nothing. Nothingness. Nothingness but still being. I don’t know. I cannot help but to cry i don’t want this i just want a stable life, some structure but i cant find it. I have to wait till February until i can make appointments with my psychologist again but by then it would already be too late unless i have somehow managed to be better again. 

i want to tell others but its no use. they don’t want to hear this, not after all these years. they already expect so much of me by now, such high expectations.they put me on such a high pedestal that will only make my fall feel longer and harder and oh so painful. i dont want to dissapoint, not them and not myself. what cane they even do with this information. cannot do anything to help me they never could’ve not even in all those years they never have they tried but no one has succeeded, including me.

i see no future i cannot imagine it, cannot think of anything in life that will give me joy to keep on moving. But i cannot end it myself, yet i suffer and feel fear and pain. what has life to offer that i want? I want nothing, so how can life give that to me? how can others not see it? How can i learn to see again like theysee and be like they are. i don’t know, i just don’t know. i can only cry, and feel like nothing will ever be alright 

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

It’s not easy being Mourner

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

more villager designs! which do you like best? 🌱🌿🐶🐷🐸🐙🐹🐑🐻 🐰🐿🐥🦌🐺🐱🌻🌳

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

an idea for a neko-atsume esque game………………..

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

lazy afternoons from kingdom hearts II in music box form

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

Will I draw a mountain other than Mt Rainier? The world may never know.

Check out my: patreon / shop / buy me a coffee

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

M E  M E  B U N N Y

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

🌻 🦁 🌻 🐓 🌻 🐥 🌻 🐮 🌻

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

Timmy was always a bit different from the other ostriches

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

Some more cat drinks! Sorry I haven’t posted here in a while! ><

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

Just a little bit a positive cats for everyone!

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

Deep murky water.

A short comic about feelings of hopelessness.  My Patreon 

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

Studio Ghibli Music Box Collection ~

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

LGBT+ PRIDE (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

New Icon! 

[cheer-me-up-buddy]

boop