35. User Experience designer and web/mobile software architect. Upbeat nihilism, mostly.
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Conversation
Actual pillow talk
Me: Why would you need to buy snake food? Does your lizard eat--
Him: There are 6 pythons hidden throughout this room.
Me: Oh. Okay.
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There’s no way to outflank me on Scruff or Grindr with snark - I have perfected either a clueless persona or a beyond polite persona, ensuring that every snark attempt ends either in “sorry” or “thank you”.
Why even? My thumbs are tired, TYVM.
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Do you think an internet dating profile of "I figured out how to pay bills and save for the future at the same time, and now I'd like to turn my attention to not dying alone" will be appropriate? I don't know, I'm feeling good about it.
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i bought a bag of those tiny apples because regular size apples feel like such a commitment
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So a hawk attacked and bloodied someone at work today. Now THAT is raising the executive park game.
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So….this is actually in the comic.
How is the whole marceline/bubblegum or marshall/gumball thing not canon?
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This is back on the table, guys.
Who wants to spray niche perfume and watch Criterion Collection films with me while we sit around in boxer shorts?
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Humans. Top of the food chain because we know how to bitch about what we consume.
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