chenardhwaj

[chenardhwaj]

That's it guys. That's the end of our journey.

Sad that it couldn't click.

I have shifted to blogger with the same username of CHENARDHWAJ.

Find me there.

[chenardhwaj]

Post 27

May 16th, 2020. Vasco, Goa

Since last few days, have been seeing saddening images if migrant workers walking 1000s of km in desperation to reach their homes. All this while dying on tracks and roads. And even this wasn't enough for the govt to accept its mistakes and rectify, atleast assure them that trains have started and just have patience for few days. One statement from the PM would have made the difference. But not a single world. Such crisis is nowhere seen in the world. Its a national shame.

Really felt bad about 1 incident specifically. An ndtv reporter in Mumbai was interviewing a group of migrants. The driver spoke very calmly and explained everything. After that they went their way. In the evening when reporter was returning he saw on the road that the people in the tempo he had interviewed just a few hours ago had faced a road accident. The driver had lost his life. His wife was injured and admitted in hospital. I don't know what must have gone through the reporter. A man who you have just interviewed, now dead. A life ends, becomes just a statistic in an ocean of numbers. Incident really touched my heart.

Another incident where ravish kumar was in his own style was showing how poor migrants were told to book online tickets. They were not having smart phones and administration was telling them to send email of their tickets. How negligent our administrators can be. Its really a collective failure.

Not a single word from PM or any of his miniters. Instead they are acting as if nothing is happening. Just shameful. No one should be so capitalist that they loose basic human compassion for workers. Its a blot on our nation, the way we treat our poor. And this when we roam around the world claiming to be 3rd largest economy in the world. We want to be vishwa-guru. We want to be superpower when we can't handle our own backyard properly. The problem is we think we are an almost developed nation but the reality is we are still a third world country. The sooner we recognise this, more faster we will course correct. Aspiration should take into account reality.

I saw many of them saying with conviction that they will never return to cities to work. We may as well face a lobour crisis inspite of our demographic dividend.

Saw the movie "7 years in Tibet". How Tibet was such a peaceful country. And how the Chinese ruined it. And India did nothing except giving shelter to tibetians and Dalai Lama. Its beyond belief that China on one side keeps pin-pricking with outlandish territorial claims whereas we don't even support say a word against their illegal occupation. Its just a coincidence that I saw this movie on the day when China's media outlet claimed Mt Everest to be part of Tibet/China with some different name.

Even after almost 50 days the cases are still rising, for past few days with even more speed. The lockdown now seems counter productive. But the govt thinks otherwise. We are on the verge of a Lockdown 4.0 announcement. I think we have already reached the point where the cure is worst that the problem itself. We need to learn to live with the virus.

[chenardhwaj]

Post 26

May 3rd, 2020. Vasco, Goa.

Yesterday night there was some talk about something terrible happening in Kashmir. Today morning Nation got the news that 5 soldiers were killed in action in Handwara Encounter and a Col and Maj were among those killed. Usually we don't hear about such high ranking officers getting killed in action. It only testifies that they lead from the front. Just sad about their families, especially of Maj Anuj, who was just married 2 months back. Hope the nation, govt and our system takes care of them, doesn't make them run from pillar to post.

After a long time finally Bollywood has made another masterpiece. "Thappad". Briiliant movie. Left me thinking for a long time. And thats what good movies should do. Was she overreacting, did he really deserve all that just for one incident? Before watching the movie my answers would have been different. Now the answers are different, and I am sure right. The film gives you the answers in a very subtle way. You just need to grasp it. I think it will teach me something or the other every time I will watch in the years to come. It just pushes you into the well of introspection. And you may come out a better man.

"Doing right things may not lead to happiness sometimes."

Lockdown has been extended. Cases keep rising and now even death rates are on the rise. Very dark days ahead.

I had a video chat with Srijith, Pratham, and Sreehari just few days back. It was good to see them. Even spoke to Pratham's mother. Discussed some mobile app idea. It was nice to speak with them after a long time.

[chenardhwaj]

Post 25

April 30, 2020. Vasco, Goa.

Fed up of this lockdown. Literally fedup. Weight getting increased, not gone out for I don't know for how many weeks now, not eaten from outside for months.

Brother's Birthday was there on April 28th. Somehow we got cakes in this lockdown. Not 1 but 2 cakes. Shops are gradually opening up. Afterall Vasco is in Green zone.

Yesterday, Irrfan Khan passed away. One of very few good, original and down to earth actors in Bollywood. Will never forget his role in Paan Singh Tomer, Lunchbox, Karwaan, Hindi Medium. He was a fantastic actor. And on of the few who is popular not because of his face, 6pack abs, but purely because of his acting skills.

And today, actor Rishi Kapoor also passed away. I had loved his role in Do Dooni Chaar, Kapoor & Sons & Mulk. One movie which I have not seen and is highly recommended is Mera Naam Joker. I will definitely try to watch it sometime. Its in my list.

It has been quite unproductive 2 weeks, since the announcement came that prelims may postpone. As of now, no doubt it will be postponed as cases are rising continuously. But again the doubling rate is also continuously reducing. I am expecting at least a month's delay in prelims. Confident to some extent that it will be enough for preparation.

Rest in peace to both departed souls.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

Post 24

April 23rd, 2020. Vasco, Goa.

The Great Lockdown Continues.....

Cases are still on the rise even though the rate of doubling has increased which is good news.

No news of as yet on postponement of prelims. But it almost confirmed that it will be postponed and not canceled, the minister is on record.

I have a newfound interest in stock markets. Gradually learning about it. Already started paper trading on apps. Pratham is helping a lot.

Finally completed Amish's Shiva trilogy. Today completed the last one, "The oath of Vayuputras". Basically now I have read all his books except one non fictional he had written. He is literally a treasure for India, for the way he is rekindling the youth's interest in our ancient culture and our old way of life with reason and rationality. Loving his work. Now eagerly waiting for his next part on Ramayana.

Most probably lockdown will extend, but only in hotspots. Thats my prediction. No new case in Goa. Life is coming back to normal here. Shops are gradually opening. Even though most districts are free of cases but this may go on for months and even years, as per some experts.

I wanted to say this. Wion News channel has become my favorite news channel in the past 2-3 months. Brilliant reporting and true journalism. I have started hating those 'Debates' that happen on almost all channels including ndtv. And Palki Sharma Upadhyay has become my favorite anchor. Her analysis are simplistic and wonderful to hear. Just brilliant. Finally we have a channel of world class standards.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

Post 23

20th April, 2020. Vasco, Goa.

Lockdown continues. Yesterday, Goa was declared first Covid Free State. But both the neighboring states of Karnataka and Maharashtra have seen the spread continue. Mumbai in particular is a concern.

It seems exam will be postponed. The minister is on record telling that new dates may be announced after may 3rd. My mind has gone in complacency, and so started reading Amish's book The Oath of Vayuputras. Wanted to read it for a long time since finished the 2nd book in September, 2019.

My interest in stock markets have skyrocketed. Asked Pratham for help, gave some direction. Already started studying the markets and theory part through apps and videos. At this rate I may soon join the stock trading.

A lynching happened yesterday in Palgarh in MH. Saw videos, very sad. Police did nothing. The time for police reforms have come. Can't delay it. Its still a colonial police controlled by feudal mindset politicians. Incapable of upholding rule of law. This lynching culture must be nipped in its bud, but unfortunately govt has not acted as proactively as situation demands.

Writing this post in the midst of a light sand storm in Vasco. Not very intense. But has brought much needed relief from the extreme humidity.

Really missing dominos pizza in this lockdown. It has been almost 2 months. I know it sounds a bit elitist but what to do. I do try to avoid telling it to anyone. I try not to be elitist. Nothing wrong in being elitist as long as you are self made. And you know I am still unemployed😓.

Finally a prayer from heart, GO CORONA GO.

God bless humanity.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

Post 22.

April 16,2020. Vasco, Goa.

What a sad day to come back to write. India is under the grip of COVID19 as cases cross more than 11000 and deaths 300. Some estimates suggest, at this rate cases will cross 20000 very soon. Frankly telling, its difficult to live in this 2nd phase lockdown. Food is not a problem. My only problem a dew days ago was the unavailability of stationary as It is not an essential items. Finally yesterday stationary shop opened. Moreover not eaten chicken also from past 2-3 weeks. Fish was available but that also only Bangda and not other types.

Want to talk little bit about Delhi riots that happened in Feb. Very sad. At the face of it it looks to be the cause of lax administration. It went on for 3-4 days. And no riot can go beyond 1day unless it is state sanctioned. Many videos also came which raises lot of questions on conduct of police. Whatever happened shouldn't have happened.

Preparations go on. Many exams are postponed due to COVID-19. I am having difficulty to take printouts as stationary shops are completely shut. Shifted to online learning instead of doing it on paper.

Prelims 2020 may be postponed. Not sure as of now. Many first happening in these times like, Railways stopped completely, all flights grounded, the world never thought it would these days in 21st century.

Economic future seems very bleak. Tough times are ahead of us. And I am not even employed.😥

Poverty, all round economic distress, unemployment and majority youth population - a perfect cocktail for social tensions. And with our colonial police controlled by feudal mindsets politicians l, the situation is bound to get aggravated.

Full sympathies for the migrants and poor families that are suffering and will suffer in near future. Heart goes out to them. Compared to them I don't have any problems in this lockdown, can call myself privileged and I am thankful to god for that.

Many case studies all over India about IAS officers doing wonderful jobs. Shahid Choudhary, DM of Srinagar is one of them. #RoleModel

Sad that even in these times the communal poison in our society is flowing unabated. Don't know where it will end. The chain reaction has started and surely it will end in disaster. Last time it subsided with partition of India. This time???

Definitely we will come out of this different than what we were before. Hopefully we will be better than before.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

POST 21

Feb 11th, 2020/Tuesday.

Month's Review.

Yes, I couldn't write for over an month. Sorry about that. Went through some bad patch. Don't want to talk about it. Let's get straight to business.

Since past few months especially after scrapping of special status to Jammu and Kashmir, one person I became very fond of was author Rahul Pandita because of his mature views and non-political approach. His book on Kashmiri Pandits was in my wish list for a long time. Sometime at the start of Jan,2020 the trailer of a film named Shikara was released which Rahul had co-authored. This was the time I decided to read his book before the release of his film on 7th Feb. On 2nd Feb I started reading and within one day I finished it. The book is an absolute page turner. For the first time I got to the real horrors of what happened to Kashmiri Pandits. It was terrible. The book rips you apart many times in its storytelling. Everytime the author discusses a murder, a feeling of absolute disgust comes to the fore. Every killing that I read, a quote from the movie "Blood Diamond" would come to my conscience - "Sometimes I wonder whether god will ever forgive us for what we have done to each other? Then I look around and realize that God has left this place a Kong time ago". The time when Rahul goes back to his house and realises someone else is living there is heartbreaking. The 2 massacres that were discussed in the end were also heart wrenching. Even the little children were not spared. N amount of my words can describe what they went through and how sad theur stories are. Throughout the book there were many a times when I felt that whatever is happening to Kashmiris today, internet ban/other restrictions, they deserved it. But of course I realize that it is just a momentary flow of emotion and is akin to losing humanity. I will not become like them. But as Rahul said in one of his interview, the biggest betrayal to them was the total denial by majority population that anything happened. The reconciliation would only start when the majority population acknowledge that what happened was wrong it wouldn't happen again. And I feel it is the primary reason why the resettlement hasn't taken place. I am glad that I read the book. It opened a different perspective all together. And having being lived in Srinagar for a year, I really hope that one day the Pandits would go back and settle their once again permanently.

On 11th Feb, watched movie Shikara. Well made but could been better in terms of showing the buildup upto exodus and events of exodus itself. Movie was more of a love story with the couple trying to cope up with the tragedy. Unfortunately due to bad publicity in initial days, the movie is not doing well on box office, thats sad. I truly respect the directors decisions to not show the faces of those behind the exodus/terrorists. The role of female character by Sadia was played well and she is beautiful. I did saw many correlations with the book "Our Moon Has Blood Clots". Overall a well made movie but had less impact, movies on genocide/persecution blow your heart with hammer many times, that impact was missing. Plus it was a bit fast, a scene 10years apart didnt seemed so. A better one could still be made.

It also became one of the movie that I actually saw in theater. Usually we see film in naval auditorium.

Over the last weekend, I also movie Parasite. Very well made. The negative consequences of capitalism, economic inequality are the themes that hold the narrative. Actor Park So-Dam's character "Jessica" was brilliant. The scene where she smokes a cigarate while her house is being flooded is brilliant. The movie overall was a thriller especially in the second half. Watched it before it the Oscars for best picture.

I also saw the movie "Ford vs Ferrari". Another brilliantly made movie. Very similar to "Rush". Its ending where Ken Miles dies is just sad. And that dialogue of Shelby, " There is a point at 7000rpm, where the car becomes weightless and there is just a body moving through time and space and thats when it creeps upon you and asks you just one question- Who are you?".

Besides that, brother returned from Chandigarh where he had gone for coaching of NDA. I shifted to his room only since my room is unbearably hot, I go there only to sleep.

House Construction is in full swing.

Aam Aadmi Party won a landslide victory in Delhi for the 2nd time. Really remarkable considering the hateful campaign by Bjp plus its vast resources were put to use in election.

[chenardhwaj]

Post 20-Tanhaji/Triplings/Mother's Birthday.

Jan 10th-14th,2020

Vasco.

Today we had planned to see movie Tanhaji. The reviews were great, especially about the action sequences. Unfortunately father was bit busy, so at the last moment he canceled his plans and only me and mother went to see it in Navy Theater.

The action sequences were truly good, especially the final battle between Tanhaji and UdayBhan. Chh. Shivaji's role was played brilliantly by the actor, his nobility, attitude, appearance and most importantly his humility were all showcased appropriately by the actor. The scenes between Chh.Shivaji and Tanhaji were just brilliant and emotional. There have been very few moments when character of Chh.Shivaji was portrayed so brilliantly. Even though many liberties were taken but overall a brilliant movie. Relieved that finally a movie worthy of praise by all of India about Marathas was made and which solely focused on the warrior spirit.

Mother's birthday was on 13th. Not much celebration. In the evening one of her friend named Farhan brought a cake. And then later, she went out for dinner with her friends. Me and father didn't go. I didn't go because father didn't go. It seemed a bit odd that on such important day, family was not together for dinner. Anyways the next day we did go to NOI for dinner with 2 of her friends. So nothing mattered much.

Meanwhile I saw TVF's series Triplings. Brilliant series. I loved the characters of Chitvan and Chanchal even though I know that I had much similarity with Chandan. The sing "Mada Faka" was just crazy. The first time I heard it, I had a great laugh. I think I kept hearing it again and again for 2 continuous days. Season 1 was far better than season 2. The last episode of season 1 was I think the best episode of all series. In that episode only, their father says that he doesn't have much money to give in his will to his children and justifies the decision by saying that his money and legacy should not become a reason for family quarrels. Really liked the perspective. The only good thing about season 2 was that nawab episode, the best episode of that season. I think the difference between s01 and s02 was only that s01 has philosophical messaging which was largely missing in s02. But still overall quite entertaining. And yes, the actor who played chanchal was beautiful especially in season 1 because of long hair.

On academic side, slowing coming back on track. Have been through worst period. What worse can happen than this.

Signing out.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

Post 19

Jan 6th, 2020/ Mon.

Vasco+Butterfly Beach.

So today we planned to go to butterfly beach somewhere in south Goa near Goa-Karnataka Border. A much desired trip to somewhere after a long time. Father also seemed to be in good mood, different from the usual frustrated one nowadays, especially since the "Case" has begun.

The butterfly beach was a very small and narrow beach just adjoining Agonda Beach in South Goa. The road was rough, hardly space for 1 vehicle. After a while we realized that we had to walk for around 20-30min to reach the beach. The road passed through a very dense jungle stretch. Any urban dweller would immediately notice quietness, which is very hard to digest initially. You are suddenly very alert about your surroundings, notice every movement and sound. We started walk at around 2:15pm, in the midst of intense sunlight, so it was a bit tiring.

We reached the beach after some 20-25min, small but beautiful, not many people, but majority foreigners😄. We also realised that it is the same beach we had seen from a boat 3years earlier when we had visited Palolem Beach and then had taken a boat ride for sightseeing dolphins. The sun was hot, the water was pretty cold, which was a relief. We didn't take any bath, just enjoyed the view. The sunset would have been beautiful, but we had to go early.

The Town near Agonda Beach surprisingly had so many foreigners. We had never seen so many even in the main beaches like Calangute, Aanjana.

We ate Prawn and Fish Curry in a restaurant which was delicious, with lot of salad and stuff, probably to cater the foreigners because I have never seen anyone give such colourful salad with fish curry before.

I insisted we visit Agonda Beach, but mother was bit tired with all the walking and father was in a hurry since he had to attend a function, so it was canceled.

I insisted we visit Agonda Beach, but mother was bit tired with all the walking and father was in a hurry since he had to attend a function, so it was canceled.

A beautiful town, even more beautiful beaches, but not to be visited with parents if you really want to enjoy.

We came back to house by 7pm. Parents had to go to some function so they went.

Mother had made "Chicken Mackerel with Poie" on Sunday, so I ate that for dinner.

Signing out.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

Day 18

1st-5th Jan,2020

Vasco

A good start to the new year. Lots of inspiration. On 1st I went to mother's hotel, afterwards to a hotel named "Babazin" near Porvorim. Good food but very bad service. Ate the traditional "Chicken Mackeral with Poie" and Prawn curry with rice.

Interior construction at our house is in full swing. Parents spending lot of time there only.

Saw TVF series called "Cubicles". Brilliantly made, especially the second last episode. The character of Richa was very beautiful. Loved the whole series.

Even though I had a good start, but lost track on second day itself. I don't know what has happened to me. Mind is totally out of control.

Nothing much in rest of the days, except a lot of boredom.

Signing out.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

Day 17

31st Dec 2019/Wed

Vasco

In the morning me & mother went to our new flat in Jairam Nagar, Vasco. Father bought this about 3 years ago. Construction was bit slow and quality of the construction was also not upto the mark. Also it is not that spacious. The only good thing was the view that we get of the Zuari river. I must admit the view is just brilliant. Of course somewhere compromises had to be made, even life is like that, most of the times we don't get perfect things. Now construction was over and wooden furnishing was going on. For that carpenters had come, who were going to live in the house for approx 2 months and complete all the wooden work like kitchen cabinets, bed, cupboards etc.

Our Flat in Jairam Nagar--

In the evening we went to the usual new years party in Naval Officers Institute. For the past 3 years we were going to NOI for new years. Only this time there was nobody to accompany us. We 3 were alone. Well it was not a problem for me, but I was sure that parents are gonna get bored. And the same happened. We were sitting ducks. How much you will drink and eat alone, unless there was some company to talk to.

As usual party was lively, many people had come. Snacks were good and complimentary. I thought I would drink beer but there was no kingfisher, no Budweiser, there was some local brand available which me and father tried but it was not that good. After which we decided to drink Rum-Cola. Drank it after many many months, I had it last time in Srinagar. Almost consistently for past 3yrs I was drinking the same I.e rumcola on new year. Not broken the record. Mother was soon bored, and father was also not interested in dancing so basically she got really bored. After eating some pasta and light dinner, she went off to home. So me and father were sitting, listening to music and drinking rumcola. I thought of sitting till new year and then leave off.

Photo -- Yeah thats Rum-Cola.

There was one girl sitting in adjoining table. I don't know why I found a liking for her. There were tens of women in the party, each more beautiful than the last one, some were wearing really short skirts and I thought I really respect such women from the bottom of my heart. No sarcasm. Wearing such a dress is not easy, handling yourself in a party with such dress would be even tougher. I don't know how they do it, and that is exactly why I respect them. I didn't had "The Feeling" when seeing such women, but I did experience it when seeing that particular girl. Her face was very similar to actress Ananya Pandey, and that is not the reason why I liked her. There are some covert qualities which attract me to some girls. I don't know exactly which qualities, but one of them is simplicity or humility. Simplicity not in dressing sense, but in face, in behavior, in attitude, in talking etc. I don't know how I gauge these qualities, I think I just assume it seeing the humility in face. But Of course there will always be a chance that I am proved wrong.

After mother went, me and father left our seat and went close to dancing stage and saw other people dancing and listening to DJ, with drinks in our hand. I thought of going home soon, but luckily I saw the same girl dancing very close to the place where we were standing. The next approximately 2 hours went by very soon just standing there sipping my drink and seeing her dance. I don't know why but I just enjoyed the moments. No bad intentions whatsoever. There are some people in life, just by looking at them makes us feel at peace. She was one of that kind of person.

I did not had the courage to go and talk to her. I maintained my distance. We ate some light dinner and decided to go home. She was the last thing I saw in that party. I dont know whether I made right decision or not. Maybe its not the right time. Hopefully my time will also come. No photo was taken of her, only my memory remembers her.

Overall me and father drank 1bottle Bear + approx 5.5 Pegs of Rum added with cola.

We walked from NOI to our home. The walk was peaceful with lot of optimism. The day went by was beautiful. Hopefully the same optimism and peacefulness is maintained throughout the year.

Signing out.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

END OF 2019

31st Dec,2019/Tues

Vasco

2019 has been not so good year for me. Its the year of learning more about myself. I think thats what life is about, understanding how to make ourselves more efficient so as to adjust with the rapidly changing surroundings. The year had some disappointments which I wish I could have avoided. And also had some insignificant pleasant memories. The following things are the highlights of the year--

Biggest Disappointments.

-Didnt qualify in UPSC Prelims.

-Wasn't able to do much to improve relationship between parents which was gradually worsening.

-Didn't watch Avengers Endgame in a theater.

Pleasant Moments.

-My memories with dogs in Srinagar(Baagira & Grevin) and Goa(Ghost).

-All the family time spent in Srinagar and Goa.

-Playing cricket after a long time with my brother Amu in Srinagar.

-My time spent in Srinagar during snowfalls. Just bliss.

-My healthy interactions with father's buddy in Srinagar, Basha bhaiya/Malik Bhaiya/Binish Bhaiya.

Some Surprises.

-Severed all connections with most of my friends. There were anyway not many. Currently I have contact with only 5 of my friends. It was a conscious decision.

-Started eating Nonveg after almost 2years. There was not much conviction to follow the principle.

Best Movies Watched.

-Avengers Endgame.

-Gully Boy.

-Article 15.

-Bala.

-Panipat.

Best TV Series Watched.

-Chernobyl. "Every lie we tell incurs a debt on truth, sooner or later that debt is paid"

-Game of Thrones (S08), 2nd and last episode were the best.

-Kota Factory. Brought back some of my memories and disappointments.

Best Books read.

-Solistics At Panipat by Uday Kulkarni.

-Raavan By Amish.

-Shiva Trilogy by Amish. (Still reading the oath of Vayuputras)

Best Places Visited.

-Gulmarg in March. It was completely snow covered.

-Dal Lake. And the Shikara ride.

Best Food.

-Rogan Josh in Srinagar. Ultimate. No comparison.

-Dominos Chicken Dominator.

-Homemade Bakhri with Jhunka. Especially made by mother.

Time with my dogs in Srinagar and Goa was the best. When you know a dog is with you, it is one of the best feelings. All three of them used to wait for me whenever they were hungry or whenever I had something to offer. Initially when Grevin's front legs were broken I tried to take care of him. I knew he was not able to get much food. So I made a conscious effort to offer him more food and sometimes milk. All 3 of them used to come running towards our house just at a sound of my whistle or the sound of opening of our door. That was one of the best feelings. In Srinagar, I had to take care of sharing the food equally, I adopted many strategies, but sometimes it ended up in their fights. Coincidentally all three of them appeared very similar to wolfs of Game of Thrones (Big Fan)like Baagira-ShaggyDog, Grevin-GreyWind, Ghost-Ghost. Time spent with them was best in this year. I hope all 3 of them are fine, healthy, and remember me.

Photo--Baagira.

Photo--Grevin.

Photo--Ghost.

Photo-- Baagira and Grevin, Srinagar.

Photo--Baagira sometime in Feb, 2019

Photo-- Ghost sitting on his throne and his favorite place.

Its hard to believe but I was not able to meet any of my friend in the whole year. The perils of preparing for UPSC.

Somethings always troubled my mind especially in first half of the year, like the constant tussle between 2views I.e whether to trust your loved ones completely, or to trust but verify as they say in Chernobyl.

After many years I did not attend Ganesh Chaturthi this year. It was a conscious decision. Related to exam failure.

I got to know more about jealousy. Or if I would say a feeling of worthlessness. Most of it from well settled army officers I saw in Srinagar. And also due to some of my accomplished friends.

Photo-- Srinagar Army cantt in Jan after heavy snowfall.

The best gift I got was a small statue of Chh. Shivaji Maharaj bought by my mother from Kolhapur. The best gift.

Photo- Small Statue of Shivaji Maharaj on my table desk.

My respect for the Indian Army increased by many folds. Only because of my stay in Srinagar.

Photo-- Indian Army Convoy. Notice the soldier standing guarding the truck against any terrorist attack, and in turn facing the cold chilly wind. Just imagining it gives chill. But they do it everyday. Whether it rains or snows. Freedom is not free, its cost is paid by someone or the other everyday.

Hopefully the following year brings peace and helps me become the person I want to be. This will be the year when the greatest desires of my heart will be fulfilled. They will be fulfilled. Thats a promise.

Signing out.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

Day 16

26th,27th,28th,29th,30th Dec, 2019/Thurs-Mon

Vasco

Sorry for the late post. Nothing much happened in these days. Plus I was in my lowest cycle. I was totally unproductive in these days. No mood to do anything. No gym, no studies. Worst period.

On Thursday I went to NOI with parents, but regretted the decision. It was not worth it. Words were spoken, feelings were hurt, but fortunately it was not mutual and only one sided.

TV series "Friends" came to the rescue. Binge watched it for some days.

Thats it nothing much.

Signing out.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

Day 15

25th Dec, 2019/Wed

Vasco + Panaji.

Christmas day. Nothing much, planned to go out in the evening to Panaji to see the Christmas lighting.

But my stomach got bad, loose motions, most probably due to the chicken biryani I had eaten last night from a nearby restaurant. Had to think a lot before going out in the evening.

Watched a talk by Anil Swarup (IAS) on YouTube. Very inspiring, he had very clear thoughts and knows a lot about bureaucracy. It could be seen in the way he talks. Seems to have a good moral compass. His book was in my wishlist for a while, I thought it wouldn't help me much in these times so I had thought I would read sometime in future. But after watching his talk, I realized reading his book and his experiences could be worth to motivate myself since I am lacking it from past some days now. Ordered it immediately.

In the evening, we went out to Panaji. As expected, almost all houses along the road were lighted. Very beautiful. The traffic jam near zuari bridge was very big. Took almost 1 hour to cross it. The jam had been happening from past many months now, and almost everyday. No visible action by administration except barring big busses during primetime. Construction of new bridge would take time. Why not close the Madgaon-Panaji road during peak hours and allow only Vasco-Panaji flow of traffic. Madgaon traffic could go to Panaji via Ponda. Would be little long but worth a try. Moreover road should be closed only for some hours during peak time. I don't know why nothing is being done by administration except being just a mute spectator. Sad state of affairs.

So first we went to mothers hotel. All decorated for Christmas and new years.

Photo-- Momz Kitchen, Porvorim

Not our hotel, mother runs it on rent. There has been some problems in running it, like not getting good returns, even though food quality is very good. We ate dinner here only, simple rice and dal tadka with Tandoori Fish. Brilliant combination.

At around 10:30 we went to Panaji City to see the "Christmas mood".

Photo-- Panjim Church. Nicely decorated, however less compared to earlier times.

Photo-- Atal Setu on River Mandovi.

Photo-- Casinos all decked up for tourists.

Photo-- Roadside decorations.

Photo-- Some nice creativity by enthusiastic artists near Vasco.

Saw some people questioning why only Hindus wish others even when its not their festival. Arguments like why particular people of certain religion never wish on others festival. Well either these people have not seen India or they know it only from the confines of their rooms. I remember vividly, during my stay in Srinagar it was my father's Muslim Buddy named "Basha" from Andhra Pradesh who first wished me on Diwali. That's what inclusiveness is. Thats what India is all about. That shows our forwardness and modern outlook. Ofcourse there are certain fringe elements in all societies. But its when we focus on good that good seeds are sown for future. Twitter on the other hand has really become bad place to be.

Merry Christmas.

Signing out.

AK

[chenardhwaj]

Day 14

22/23/24th Dec,2019/Sun,Mon,Tue.

Vasco

There are times when one is not able to do things which he should be doing, there is simply no interest. Life seems dull, you fall back on virtual world to the comforts of false sense of accomplishment to compensate for the lack of it in real life. Food becomes your first and foremost love of your life, and it never disappoints you. You lose control over your mind, you lose focus, you forget your goals, you forget your past accomplishments, you just want to seclude yourself from the world and try to get along. But one thing is for sure, THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Yes mistakes were made. Time was wasted. Weight control was lost. It is the lowest ebb in the cyclical slowdown.

We forget everything and tend to find happiness in small irrelevant things like virtual games, food, movies. Same happened with me too.

Age of Empires, junk food + hotel food, 2 movies.

"Notebook" - good movie, I don't know why I could relate to Noah when Allie left him and he was alone renovating the Windsor mansion. I could totally relate with his loneliness. And the scene in second half when he takes Allie to a spot in nearby lake, which was overpopulated with ducks or birds, was beautiful. Never seen anything like that, neither in real life nor in any other movie. Just beautiful. Ending was predictable. Overall nice movie.

"Lincoln" - The story of how the then US Pres passed the Abolition of Slavery Legislation in US congress. What all political compromises he had to do for that. A masterpiece. Listening to some views of those opposing the 13th amendment, I wondered how far we have come leaving behind the evil conventions of the society. 19th century truly was the century of correcting the historical wrongs of the society. 19th century for India too was important, many historic decisions were taken like Abolition of Slavery, Sati, Widow Remarriage, women education etc. Today my generation would hardly believe that such evils were opposed by many at that time. The 13th amendment was passed just by a margin of 2 votes. The story needed to be told, and it was told brilliantly.

The speciality of sin curve is that after every trough, there will always come a Crest. The secret is to maintain the balance between the both. But that is also the most difficult part.

Signing out.

AK.

[chenardhwaj]

Day 13

21st Dec, 2019/Sat

Vasco + Panaji

Today we planned to go to Panaji. I had to buy some clothes. Father had some work in office and some queries had to be done for kitchen work in our new apartment in Jairam Nagar, Vasco. It was planned that we will go at around 11:30am.

Meanwhile some important lessons learned. I have realized that my tastes in life are far more than what I deserve or what I could afford. Admiration for someone's beauty better remain a secret. Its difficult to put in words what I feel. For achieving that kind of beauty, neither I have astonishing looks, nor a bullet for a ride. At this time not even my own money. Thats why I think in future life would be lonely. Only dogs and drinks would be there for company. These incidents reaffirm my faith that time has not come to go out hunting. Its better to be in ones own world at least for now, where you won't be disappointed.

Anyways, we went to Panaji by 12 in afternoon. And I realized I had not stepped out of my house at this hour in bright sun in a long time. Goa is beautiful in winter sunny mornings.

Photo -- On our way to Panaji.

Our outing was on verge of getting ruined because of some fight between parents in car. Thankfully it was controlled and not much damage happened. We were back on track with happy.

Photo-- Zuari River Bridge, the new bridge being constructed.

The shop in which father had some work was closed. So it was decided we would eat lunch somewhere by that time. Since our breakfast was late, we were not much hungry, so decided that we would go eat Bhaaji Pav in Cafe Bhonsle, near 18th June Road. A simple Bhaaji Pav got extended to some mirchi bhajji, fried rice and lime soda.

Photo-- The newly constructed Atal Setu.

Photo-- Famous Church in Panaji.

Since the shop was still closed we decided we will go to "Mall De Goa" for my shopping of some shirts and jeans. I need to lose weight.

Photo-- View of Panaji from Old Bridge.

Photo-- Atal Setu.

Spent time till evening shopping and then moved again to Panaji. Work was done, we went to Vasco from a different road, a road behind Bambolim which goes through an army station. I think it was this road only where shooting of "Love you Zindagi" movie happened. When Shahrukh and Alia are cycling on a road filled with coconut trees on both sides.

Photo-- Approx Place where shooting of movie took place. Not the exact place.

Then a very strange thing happened. A car honked and flashed lights aggressively behind us. We stopped, they stopped, realized their number plate registration was same as ours I.e HR 51. One person came, greeted my father, had some interaction. I think he was pretty excited seeing his home registered car in Goa. So he stopped us, yeah that was the only reason why he stopped us. Father also interacted positively with him. He explained how he was in the Army, and we had lives in Haryana once upon a time. I guess we Indians get excited when we see people from our native in a different region alltogether. I can say the same for me.

Photo-- Car having similar registration no as ours. They stopped us to say Hi.

In the evening, parents had to go to NOI for a party. I didn't go. Ate Cheese Garlic Naan with dry Tandoori Chicken. Believe me, its not a good combination, don't try.

Meanwhile, protests against CAA_NRC continue in some parts. Death toll continues to rise. Interestingly all deaths and violence is happening in states which are rules by central ruling party.

Signing out.

AK.