cherryaire

[cherryaire]

in need of aid, please share!

hi! i'm bibi and i am a 23 year old low-income nonbinary disabled person trying to make some income while i'm between jobs to afford medical bills, both mental and physical health appointments, medicines, groceries, and other basic living expenses.

i am currently down to the last $50 i have while job searching and freelancing all day and am at risk of going into collections for a hospital bill following an ER visit for a head injury. i am also in about $800 of debt from groceries, meds, etc.

i am open for writing commissions (fanfics, OCs, etc) and can write NSFW with limits. my menu for commissions can be found on my ko-fi profile. feel free to tip even if you don't want a commission, anything helps!

please donate if you can, it would mean the world to me and help so much.

here is my ko-fi link (edit: i also have the $ app if you would prefer to donate that way, i can send it over dms)

thank you so much if you donate, and if you cannot please share this post.

p.s. to my mutuals i apologize for recent inactivity, i really have not had much time to post during these events.

[cherryaire]

It should be against the rules for your brain to have intrusive thoughts. I'm supposed to be in charge, not this ridiculous ten pound ball of mush.

[cherryaire]

So I had to return a book to the library today and I came straight from the horse farm. I went to the front desk because it was an item on loan from another library and I wasn’t sure if it had to be checked in differently. The librarian said no, it could get returned in the normal slot but she could take it and check it in right away.

It was only when I got back to the car that I realized I had walked into the library covered in dirt from head to toe and handed back a book about grave robbing.

[cherryaire]

i could fuck a thunderstorm if i really put my mind to it

[cherryaire]

LGBT+ PRIDE (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[cherryaire]

[cherryaire]

Redbubble removing my works five years after they were posted is ridiculous. What's even more ridiculous is them removing something of mine but eighteen other works just like it are fine!

According to them Mythical still owns a smosh given that's who the copyright was filed under.

[cherryaire]

[cherryaire]

[cherryaire]

hi. just a reminder

your anger is not ugly your fury's not too loud

something that should’ve been safe wasn't but you had to smile through it like the curves were the shape of healing.

of course you’re mad and on fire. that heat kept you going.

it's what kept you alive.

love, someone who knows your spark isn't the problem

[cherryaire]

Absolutely wild to me how sometimes you don't even realize the way you'd been taught to perceive things as a kid was kinda fucked up, actually, until decades later.

Example:

As a kid, I constantly lived in fear of damaging shit in my parent's house. The walls. The floors (especially the floors. The wood was beautiful. Shiny. But so easy to scratch). The cabinets.

As a sixteen-year-old, I once took my car to the dealership after work and paid a very dear sum of $250 ($10/hr cashier salary) to fix a slight scratch in the paint because I knew if my father saw it there would be hell to pay. It didn't matter that I parked far out, like I'd been taught, and someone scratched it anyway. It was my fault. I failed in my duties as a steward of my vehicle.

Every time I scratched a rim on a curb while parallel parking or got a door ding or, god forbid, didn't wash and vacuum that car every weekend, it was treated like some sort of moral failing.

Last year, when my husband and I first moved into our house, he scraped the side of our car when parking in our (Very Narrow) garage. When he told me, my first instinct was to be afraid for him. Like something terrible was going to happen to him because of this mistake. I urgently reassured him that it was okay, it was an accident, I wasn't mad. Baffled, he was like, "Yeah? I know? Like, thank you for the reassurance, but I'm only a little annoyed, I'm not upset. It's just a car." And I had to take several minutes to process that. It's...just a car.

We keep the car tidy. We maintain it. But we wash it maybe 4x a year. We only vacuum it after dirty road trips or when the dog hair starts to get annoying. It has scrapes and dings and the leather seats have stains. But that's ok. Because it's just a car.

This morning, I realized that a small rock had gotten embedded in the felt foot on one of our bar stools. Neither of us had noticed. There are now scratches on our beautiful hardwood floor. My immediate response was fear accompanied by a heavy measure of paralyzing guilt. "I'm so sorry," I told my husband, "I should have noticed. I'll figure out how to fix it, I swear. I can probably sand down that section and match the stain and--"

"Whoa, hey," he said. "It was an accident. And it's fine. Floors are going to get damaged. They're floors. We live here. There was damage in places before we even bought the house, remember? It's not a big deal. It's just a floor." Right. It's just a floor. Right.

My husband's mom is visiting and this afternoon, as I was sitting in the kitchen looking at the scratches on the floor, I offhandedly asked her if my husband had ever broken or damaged anything as a kid. "Of course," she said. Household items. A TV. A wrecked car during his teen years. I asked how she punished him.

"Why would I punish him for things like that?" she said. "They were all accidents."

Right. Of course. Right.

[cherryaire]

I miss interacting with people. Send me your thoughts on anything, especially if it's smosh! If you just wanna tell me what you ate today too that would be fine! I just want some human interaction.

[cherryaire]

Have you ever eaten an orange? What was it like? I'm curious to start but I don't know if it's for me

an orange can be a life-changing event for someone open to all the world has to offer

[cherryaire]

[cherryaire]

Underside of a mushroom.

[cherryaire]

if she’s your girl why is she approaching me gently and with her hand stretched out so i have the opportunity to sniff her and decide if she is a danger to me or not

[cherryaire]