cherryonicles

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you ever take a uquiz and realize halfway through that you don’t respect the author and their opinion is useless to you

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hello everyone let’s stop looking back and wondering if things could have been different, it’s never gonna happen! love you

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Leila Chatti, "Postcard from Gone"

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i lean out of my window, again, and watch as a fox frolics along the empty street on which i reside. my body gets lighter and lighter. i click my tongue for attention and we enter into an intense staring contest. the fox is a fair contender, i’ll admit - but as i eventually disengage from the floor, it flees in defeat. i’m direct. i’m dainty yet determined. i descend and defy. delicate, desirable and decisive. i am a dove. i dwell on the doings of phantoms; daydream about days better than this one. i draw attention from the felonious, formulaic, fleeting foxes. forever false in their fictitious follies. i know this because i am a dove. he was a fox. he didn’t fool me, although he though he could. he didn’t fossilise me, although he thought he could.

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I REMEMBER HOW IT FELT TO BE FOURTEEN; HOW MY SKIN PEELED FROM YOUR TOUCH; HOW MY TEARS SCALDED MARKS INTO MY CHEEKS LIKE THE ONES ON MY NECK AND MY CHEST;

REMEMBER THE TORMENT AND THE SCREAMING AND THE CHAOS; REMEMBER BEING AS BITTER AS YOUR RELEASE; REMEMBER BEING GOD : BEING NOTHING;

I KNEW IT ALL, THEN; I KNEW IT ALL;

HOW THE EARTH WOULDN’T LOVE THE SAME WAY IT DID; HOW I WOULDN’T BE ABLE LOVE THE SAME WAY I DID; HOW I WOULD SHAKE AND SCREAM AT NIGHT; PRAYING FOR THE BUGS TO FLITTER AWAY;

I WAS HARSH AND ROUGH BUT YOU WERE ROUGHER; NEEDED TO TOUGHEN MYSELF UP IF I WANTED TO SURVIVE; NEEDED TO FIX IT MYSELF; YOU BEAT ME TO A PULP WITHIN MERE MONTHS OF YOUR EXISTENCE; WRUNG ME OF EVERYTHING; DISCARDED ME LIKE THE TISSUES ON YOUR FLOOR;

I REMEMBER HOW IT FELT TO BE FOURTEEN;

TEETH FINALLY SHAVED INTO A POINT;

READY TO BITE.

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shopping list unencumbered by structure

it is 4:08 in the morning and i am dreaming of being a pirate, or a princess. i am wishing for something more than this and i am collecting my memories - wrapping them in tissue paper to be placed into my wicker picnic basket. i am a part of everything that inspires me because how else would i relate? we are all narcissists that just show it a little differently. and yes, i love people but that does not mean i am blind to their scoffs and guffaws when i say something that does not please. it just means that i choose to overlook this because of the love that exists between myself and my people (although i don’t have many). i wish i could be understood as i understand myself but, as i have said countless times, no one will be able to understand my brain (there’s a reason it’s only located in my head, after all.) i will sleep without a song tonight, to see if i can sit in my silence and dream of being a pirate, a princess, a thief or a biker. to see if i can create a lover and live with them for the hours my eyelids are shut. to see if i can once again be loved by the things that inspire me. (it all ends up being me.)

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for the girls with high ponytails. girls who don’t know what they feel when they are feeling so much. girls who don’t relate to any other. girls who are tortoises, birds and badgers. girls who puke and continue. girls who keep so much to themselves and girls that share too much. girls who start journaling, only to abandon it the next week. girls who are ever-changing enigmas. girls who have more homes than friends. girls who watch the leaves change colour and whisper bitterly into the repeating winters: “i am nothing but a blank slate. once the snow melts i’ll be someone totally new.”

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To love life even when you have no stomach for it as they say!

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Devin Kelly, All that wanting, right?

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"the time will pass anyways" has truly rocked me to my core since reading it and changed my life.

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life is just humiliating yourself over and over and learning to live with the inherent shame of being alive !! do what makes you happy !! it is impossible to live life without embarrassment, so why bother trying !!

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“That’s the way it is: If two people want to be together, they’ll find a way. They’ll forge a way.”

— Shobha Rao, An Unrestored Woman: And Other Stories

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“Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married or own a house; as if life was some kind of grocery list. But nobody ever asks if you are happy.”

— Heath Ledger

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last night me and my friend were talking about how if you find two moles adjacent to one another, and lightly squeeze the skin in the middle, it becomes an elephant face. it was such a childish, silly conversation and i adored it so much. i wrote this poem about childhood and friendship.

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Sometimes I feel like I’m only meant for myself

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i hope march lands softly like a bird on your shoulder and sings the sweetest song for you i hope its light drenches your soul i hope it leaves you stunned by its tenderness and more hopeful than ever