cherubd

[cherubd]

i will also be featuring the other angel blessed kiddos on this blog as well ❤️ but she is considered the "most loved", the "favorite lamb". she also has the most potential with the abilities she was blessed with. but she does shy away from it because she is scared. scared of herself, frightened by god, terrified that god might be someone and something not at all honored in actuality by any of the works written of him. is he loving? why would he love such small things that hate him? does he have ulterior motives? why would be curse her why all these things that she may or may not deserve? etc etc idk very big core ideas, working on an actual pinned and google doc!!

i know i don't have an about for mary quite yet but!! basically, she's the daughter of a cult leader. she's one of seven children "blessed" with gifts, her's is manifestation and healing, the golden child and favorite of the angel who blessed them. unbeknownst to her of course. but she was forced to answer the prayers of the followers and heal them up until she left when she turned 19. she became a physician after studying. she tries to avoid using her blessing, but she does on occasion use it to heal people. the manifestation thing happens regardless. this is a very brief about for her but i am working on a google doc ❤️

[cherubd]

i have not been here lately because the new job consumes all of my time but 😭 i'm trying to make more time i prommy!!

[cherubd]

i know i don't have an about for mary quite yet but!! basically, she's the daughter of a cult leader. she's one of seven children "blessed" with gifts, her's is manifestation and healing, the golden child and favorite of the angel who blessed them. unbeknownst to her of course. but she was forced to answer the prayers of the followers and heal them up until she left when she turned 19. she became a physician after studying. she tries to avoid using her blessing, but she does on occasion use it to heal people. the manifestation thing happens regardless. this is a very brief about for her but i am working on a google doc ❤️

[cherubd]

Malá mořská víla (Karel Kachyňa, 1976)

[cherubd]

i want you all to imagine young mary as a frightened child on a built altar where she would be forced to answer and fulfill prayers for the worshipers of her father's cult <333 crying and begging them to stop praying to her, thrashing when they would mumble whatever their prayers were and hold onto her hands with an iron grip........

[cherubd]

franz kafka starters

WARNINGS: MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, IMPLIED DEPRESSION feel free to adjust pronouns / names as needed !

❛   i am a cage, in search of a bird.  ❜  

❛   don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical.  ❜  

❛   don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion.  ❜  

❛   follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.  ❜  

❛   youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty.  ❜  

❛   anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.  ❜  

❛   i write differently from what i speak.  ❜  

❛   i speak differently from what i think.  ❜  

❛   i cannot make you understand.  ❜  

❛   i cannot even explain it to myself.  ❜  

❛   i cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me.  ❜  

❛   a first sign of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die.  ❜  

❛   the meaning of life is that it stops.  ❜  

❛   all language is but a poor translation.  ❜  

❛   remain sitting at your table and listen.  ❜  

❛   do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary.  ❜  

❛   it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.  ❜  

❛   the nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.  ❜  

❛   slept, awoke, slept, awoke, miserable life.  ❜  

❛   i have the true feeling of myself only when i am unbearably unhappy.  ❜  

❛   paths are made by walking.  ❜  

❛   i can’t think of any greater happiness than to be with you all the time.  ❜  

❛   it’s because of their stupidity that they’re able to be so sure of themselves.  ❜  

❛   there is an infinite amount of hope in the universe … but not for us.  ❜  

❛   he is terribly afraid of dying because he hasn’t yet lived.  ❜  

❛   i have spent all my life resisting the desire to end it.  ❜  

❛   i usually solve problems by letting them devour me.  ❜  

❛   i am in chains. don’t touch my chains.  ❜  

❛   i never wish to be easily defined.  ❜  

❛   start with what is right rather than what is acceptable.  ❜  

❛   love is, that you are the knife which i plunge into myself.  ❜  

❛   i miss you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly.  ❜  

❛   now i can look at you in peace; i don’t eat you any more.  ❜  

❛   better to have, and not need, than to need, and not have.  ❜  

❛   you are at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart.  ❜  

❛   i’m tired, can’t think of anything and want only to lay my face in your lap.  ❜  

❛   they say ignorance is bliss… they’re wrong.  ❜  

❛   in man’s struggle against the world, bet on the world.  ❜  

❛   in a way, you are poetry material.  ❜  

❛   you are full of cloudy subtleties i am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out.  ❜  

❛   may i kiss you then?  ❜  

❛   you can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world.  ❜  

❛   that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature.  ❜  

❛   perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid.  ❜  

❛   beyond a certain point there is no return. this point has to be reached.  ❜  

❛   people label themselves with all sorts of adjectives.  ❜  

❛   i can only pronounce myself as ‘nauseatingly miserable beyond repair’.  ❜  

❛   love is a drama of contradictions.  ❜  

❛   i’m even losing my name, it was getting shorter & shorter all the time & is now: yours  ❜

❛   first impressions are always unreliable.  ❜  

❛   if i shall exist eternally, how shall i exist tomorrow?  ❜  

❛   evil is whatever distracts.  ❜  

❛   what do you know of the griefs that are in me and what do i know of yours?  ❜  

❛   how about if i sleep a little bit longer and forget all this nonsense?  ❜  

❛   kill me, or you are a murderer.  ❜  

❛   last night i dreamed about you.  ❜  

❛   what am i doing here in this endless winter?  ❜  

❛   if you become involved with me, you will be throwing yourself into the abyss.  ❜

❛   my guiding principle is this: guilt is never to be doubted.  ❜  

❛   i am dirty, endlessly dirty, that is why i make such a fuss about cleanliness.  ❜  

❛   please — consider me a dream.  ❜  

❛   i can love only what i can place so high above me that i cannot reach it.  ❜  

❛   i’m doing badly, i’m doing well, whichever you prefer.  ❜  

❛   for myself i am too heavy, and for you too light.  ❜  

❛   it certainly was not my intention to make you suffer.  ❜  

❛   you can choose to be free , but it’s last decision you’ll ever make.  ❜  

❛   even if no salvation should come, i want to be worthy of it at every moment.  ❜  

❛   he was a tool of the boss, without brains or backbone.  ❜  

❛   if i could drown in sleep as i drown in fear i would be no longer alive.  ❜  

❛   i lack nothing. i only needed myself.  ❜  

❛   i long for you; i who usually longs without longing, as though i am unconscious and absorbed in neutrality and apathy.  ❜  

❛   i really, utterly long for every bit of you.  ❜  

❛   even the merest gesture is holy if it is filled with faith.  ❜  

❛   you misinterpret everything, even the silence.  ❜  

❛   you must not pay too much attention to opinions.  ❜  

❛   i only fear danger where i want to fear it.  ❜  

❛   nor is it perhaps really love when i say that for me you are the most beloved.  ❜  

❛   in this love you are like a knife, with which i explore myself.  ❜  

❛   i like to make use of what i know  ❜  

[cherubd]

↪       𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑶𝑳𝑶𝑮𝑼𝑬 𝑨𝑻 𝟑 𝑨.𝑴   .    (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  sylvia  plath’s  “ the collected poems ” .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .)

my mendings itch .  there’s nothing to do .

what ceremony of words can patch the havoc ?

stop crying .  open your hand .

it is a terrible thing ,  to be so open .

i am too pure for you or anyone .

it’s easy to blame the dark .

how free it is ,  you have no idea how free .

it must be one or the other of us .

it was a kind of marriage ,  being so close .

nobody sees us .

i couldn’t sleep for a week .

it is comfortable ,  for a change ,  to mean so little.

tell me i’m here .

your room is lousy with flowers .

now i resemble a sort of god .

nobody can tell what i lack .

i suppose it’s pointless to think of you at all .

i can stay awake all night ,  if need be .

this is not what i meant .

i can’t get it out of my mind .

when you kick me out ,  that’s what i’ll remember .

i wasn’t fooled .  i knew you at once .

if the moon smiled ,  she would resemble you .

your clear eye is the one absolutely beautiful thing .

perfection is terrible .

i do not trust the spirit .

one day ,  it won’t come back .

they will wonder if i was important .

oh god ,  i am not like you .

there is no stopping it .

we have come so far ,  it’s over .

tonight will be ,  in every respect ,  like every other night .

that’s how you always talk before we start .

if i didn’t trust you at this ,  i wouldn’t trust myself .

at least i feel less dread of the world beyond ours .

i admit it :  i’m afraid .

don’t be so smart .

i dreamed of doing it ,  and now it’s done .

earth is my haunt .

what manner of business are you on ?

perhaps you’ve late quitted heaven ?

i shall never grow old .

sugar can cure everything .

is there no way out of the mind ?

there are no trees or birds in this world .

this is what i am made of ,  this and terror .

why is it so quiet ,  what are they hiding ?

this is what it is to be complete .

is he wearing pajamas or an evening suit ?

the police love you ,  you confess everything .

is my life so intriguing ?

where are you going that you suck breath like mileage ?

you flicker .  i cannot touch you .

if i could bleed ,  or sleep !  if my mouth could marry a hurt like that !

what did they know that i didn’t ?

you say you can’t stand her .

i’m doped and thick from my last sleeping pill .

you are ill .

you are so exhausted .

i can’t communicate .

we’re here on a visit .

where do you stash your knife ?

what sort of scenery is it ?

you know who you hate .

pure ?  what does it mean ?

i am not subtle .

right now you are dumb ,  and i love your stupidity .

i know why you won’t give it to me .  you’re terrified .

is it impossible for you to let something go and have it whole ?

must you kill what you can ?

there is one thing i want today ,  and only you can give it to me .

it won’t hurt .

do away with it altogether .

are you our sort of person ?

i have always been scared of you .

i didn’t call you .  i didn’t call you at all .

there is nothing between us .

seven hours knocked out of my right mind .

i am myself .  that is not enough .

i dream of someone else entirely .

we should meet in another life .

it was an accident .

you know what lies are for .

dying is an art ,  like everything else .

how far is it now ?

do not accept it .  it’s not genuine .

i am so stupidly happy .

eternity bores me ,  i never wanted it .

[cherubd]

❥     𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐄  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃  𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐓  𝐘𝐎𝐔  ,  𝐀  𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄  𝐎𝐅  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄   𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑  .

i revised my first two memes into one —     things ramsay bolton from got has said! tw for mature themes, violence, ect.     adjust as you please!

❛  if  you  think  this  has  a  happy  ending  ,  you  haven’t  been  paying  attention  .  ❜ ❛  say  please  again  ,  and  you’ll  wish  you  hadn’t  .  ❜ ❛  you  forgot  to  ask  if  i’m  a  lair  .  ❜ ❛  everything  i  told  you  ,  is  a  lie  .  ❜ ❛  this  isn’t  happening  to  you  for  a  reason  .  ❜ ❛  this  is  mercy  .  ❜ ❛  you’re  no  good  to  me  dead  .  ❜ ❛  oh  sweet  ,  don’t  cry  .  it  will  be  over  soon  .  ❜ ❛  you  can  see  that  your  presence  has  become  a  bit  of  a  problem  .  ❜ ❛  this  is  turning  into  a  lovely  evening  .  ❜ ❛  those  creatures  who  came  in  the  night  ,  they  wanted  to  take  you  away  .  ❜ ❛  you  remained  loyal  .  ❜ ❛  you  will  collapse  under  your  proud  weight  and  slump  into  a  heap  of  nothing  .  ❜ ❛  you’re  mine  ,  until  you’re  rotting  in  the  ground  .  ❜ ❛  remember  what  you  are  ,  and  what  you’re  not  .  ❜ ❛  you’re  not  lying  to  me  ?  ❜ ❛  we  should  be  honest  with  each  other  ,  don’t  you  think  ?  ❜ ❛  do  i  need  to  ask  a  second  time  ?  i  hate  asking  a  second  time  .  ❜ ❛  do  you  know  how  pleased  i  was  when  i  saw  you  ?  ❜ ❛  you’ve  made  me  very  happy  .  ❜ ❛  bastards  can  rise  high  in  the  world  .  ❜ ❛  everyone  was  already  afraid  of  me  .  ❜ ❛  your  pain  will  be  paid  for  a  thousand  times  over  .  ❜ ❛  none  could  challenge  us  .  ❜ ❛  so  now  you  come  seeking  help  .  ❜ ❛  do  you  know  who  i  am  ?  ❜ ❛  what  use  could  i  possibly  have  for  you  ?  ❜ ❛  you’re  a  good  talker  .  i  like  that  .  ❜ ❛  no  ,  you  have  to  run  remember  ?  those  are  the  rules  .  ❜ ❛  i  think  that  sounds  like  a  wonderful  idea  .  ❜ ❛  our  time  together  is  about  to  come  to  an  end  .  ❜ ❛  you  can’t  kill  me  .  i’m  a  part  of  you  now  .  ❜

[cherubd]

❥     𝐓𝐎  𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄  𝐖𝐄  𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄  ,  𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒  𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌  𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓  .

longing  /  endearing  one  -  liners  as  taken  from  the  website  pinterest  . customize  as  you  wish  !

❛  the  first  time  i  met  you  ,  i  had  no  damn  idea  i’d  love  you  this  much  .  ❜ ❛  i  wish  i  could  just  protect  you  from  everything  .  ❜ ❛  i  noticed  you  .  how  could  i  not  ?  ❜ ❛  i’ll  hold  your  hand  the  whole  way  through  ,  don’t  worry  .  ❜ ❛  i  want  you  .  so  much  .  you’re  all  i  fucking  think  about  .  ❜ ❛  you  are  made  of  comets  and  stars  .  do  not  let  anyone  treat  you  as  if  you  are  dirt  and  dust  .  ❜ ❛  i  love  how  i  can  just  look  at  you  and  be  happy  .  ❜ ❛  i  woke  up  and  the  first  thing  i  wanted  was  you  .  ❜ ❛  i  love  everything  you  hate  about  yourself  .  ❜ ❛  pinky  -  promise  me  you  won’t  leave  .  ❜ ❛  i’m  always  tired  but  never  of  you  .  ❜ ❛  you’re  it  ,  you’re  my  person  .  ❜ ❛  you  are  the  peace  i  crave  in  this  chaotic  world  .  ❜ ❛  now  i  wish  we  never  met  because  you’re  too  hard  to  forget  .  ❜ ❛  i’d  pick  your  thunder  ,  i’d  pick  your  rain  ;  over  anyone’s  sunshine  any  day  .  ❜ ❛  you  steady  me  and  stir  me  all  at  once  .  ❜ ❛  and  then  i  knew  that  i  could  become  homesick  for  you  too  .  ❜ ❛  i  just  want  to  spend  forever  getting  high  off  what  it  feels  like  to  be  around  you  .  ❜ ❛  you’ve  got  something  they  don’t  .  ❜ ❛  what  a  plot  twist  you  were  .  ❜ ❛  i  told  the  stars  about  you  .  ❜ ❛  stay  .  i  need  you  more  than  you  think  .  ❜ ❛  you  still  feel  like  home  .  ❜ ❛  come  over  here  and  make  my  clothes  smell  like  you  again  .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  kiss  you  and  it  kills  me  .  ❜

[cherubd]

like this for a starter <333

[cherubd]

🌷⚘️🌹

[cherubd]

i wake up thirsty and i think of palestine. i go to the doctor’s office and i think of palestine. a sign in the corner of the waiting room says ‘this is a place of healing, disruptive behavior will not be tolerated’ and i think of palestine. they probably weren’t thinking of bombs and snipers and mass graves in parking lots. i call my parents and i think of palestine. i drive to the grocery store and i think of palestine. i look at the clear blue sky and i think of palestine. i put the dishes away and i think of palestine. i feed my cat and i think of palestine. i listen to music and i think of palestine. i read poetry and i think of palestine. i text my friends and i think of palestine. i think of palestine and i think of palestine and i think of palestine

[cherubd]

GUIDELINES .

hi ,   i’m  plum  !     these  are  the  general  rules  to  my  blog  !     it’s  not  a  long  read ,   &   i  hate  making  rules .     most  things  are  pretty  standard .     i  hope  i  get  along  with  everyone  !

♡   ﹗          this  blog  is  an  INDEPENDENT  PRIVATE  SELECTIVE  SINGLE - MUSE ,   meaning  that  my  blog  isn’t  connected  to  any  fandom ,   etc ,   my  blog  is  only  open  to  interaction  from   mutuals     (   meaning  i  will  block  that  certain  blog  that  attempts  to  interact  with  me  without  being  mutuals   ) ,   i  am  very  selective  in  who  i  follow / follow  back .     if  these  things  are  not  followed ,   i  will  know  that  you  didn’t  read  my  rules ,   &   i  might  determine  the  best  course  of  action  is  to  softblock / block .

♡   ﹗          i  do  not  have  any  triggers  i  need  tagged ,   but  i  will  be  tagging  others’  triggers / general  triggers  in  this  format  :     ___ / .     while  i  do  not  mean  to  trigger  anyone ,   triggers  will  be  present  on  this  blog ,   &   i  do  try  to  present  an  appropriate  warning .     this  is  the  appropriate  warning  :     triggers  that  might  not  be  initially  tagged may  be  present  on  this  blog .     i  will  try  to  remember  to  tag  things ,   but  if  i  do  forget ,   just  remind  me  either  in  tumblr  dm  or  inbox .

♡   ﹗          i  reserve  the  right  to  play  the  muses  on  this  blog  however  i  deem  fit  to  play .     i  am  in  no  way ,   shape ,   or  form  connected  to  the  faces or art resources i use in this blog .     creatively ,   i  own  my  own  ideas .     i  make  all  of  my  graphics   &   such  if  not  mentioned  explicitly .     if  someone  else  is  to  be  credited ,   i  will  credit  them . speaking of , THIS is the credit for my google doc template .

♡   ﹗          i  am  a  relatively  busy  person ,   so  there  are  times  when  i  won’t  be  present  on  this  blog .     i  will  try  to  be  here  as  much  as  i  can   &   do  as  much  as  i  can  while  i  am  here .     in  terms  of  replies ,   i  need  inspiration   &   motivation  to  write ,   so  i  will  be  taking  my  general  time  with  them .     typically ,   i  am  more  likely  to  have  motivation  for  plotted  interactions   &   my  friends .     PLEASE  do  not  take  that  personally .     if  i  am  not  writing  on  my  blog ,   i  will  be  available  to  plot .     just  give  me  a  heads  up .     don’t  take  it  personally  if  i’m  not  in  the  mood  to  do  either  because  inspiration  is  very  finicky  for  me .

♡   ﹗          BASIC  ROLEPLAY  ETIQUETTE  APPLIES .      most  people  know  what  this  means ,   no  godmodding ,   your  muse  knowing  things  about  my  character  that  aren’t  common  knowledge ,   etc .     if  i  randomly  soft  or  hard  block  you     (   depending  on  the  preference  of  that  blog   ) ,   do  not  be  offended .     i  just  couldn’t  see  a  continued  interaction  with  your  muse   &   my  muse     (   other  things  also  could  be  factors   ) .

♡   ﹗          this  is  really  just  a  general  requirement  for  my  blog .     i  will  only  interact  with  muns  that  are  18 + .   if  i  don’t  know  your  age / see  it  on  your  blog ,   I  WON’T  BE  FOLLOWING .     THIS  IS  NON - NEGOTIABLE .

♡   ﹗          my  muse is multi ship .     if  we  ship  our  muses ,   they  need  to  have  chemistry ,   or  it  just  won’t  be  happening .     generally ,   I  SHIP  WITH  WHO  I  AM  COMFORTABLE  WITH .     though ,   MY  MUSES  WILL  ONLY  SHIP  WITH  ONE  VERSION  OF  THAT  CHARACTER / FACE  CLAIM .     don’t  force  ships  on  me   &   my  muse ,   that  is  more  than  enough  reason  to  block  someone  for  me     (   because  of  itself   &   it  puts  up  a  red  flag  for  other  behaviors   ) .

♡   ﹗          i  do  not  promote  or  support  homophobia ,   racism ,   pedophilia ,   etc .     this  blog  is  going  to  be  a  place  where  i  will  not  tolerate  any  drama .     speak  to  me  if  you  have  a  problem ,   i  will  delete  any  unreasonable  hate  in  my  mailbox .     I  WILL  ALSO  PRIVATELY  SEEK  YOU  OUT  IF  WE  HAVE  ISSUES .     WE  ARE  ADULTS  ;     WE  WILL  SOLVE  ISSUES  LIKE  ADULTS .     i  also  obviously  as  stated  will  not  be  very  privy  to  the  different  problematic  users  here ,   or  the  specific  problems  in  the  rpc ,   but  just  let  me  know  if  you  notice  me  doing  anything  really  concerning   &   educate  me  on  what  i  need  to  be  educated  on  !

[cherubd]

CHERUBD : indie private selective single original muse RUTHANN MARIETTA ARLEEN. ❪ mary ❫ 1 of 7 angel-blessed children. the miracle of manifestation / healing. physician. featuring : the other 6 angel-blessed.

♱ links : rules , google doc , aes sideblog .