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Criminal!Stone loves feeding his strong and big boyfriend!!! Lots of food for Butcher!!!!

Yeah, Butcher is being spoiled with food.

the way butcher just got so flustered from that. but hes also grumbling in my head over this. sir. dont accuse your boyfriend of lying!!!

but alas. at least he's getting some good food out of this. hes at least enjoying that

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found a cool ref and it reminded me of serial killer!mārīte so i had to draw her.

pov youre in the woods and see this girl whos on a perpetual verge of a panic attack talking to her hallucination of a brother. wyd?

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Criminal!Stone: Ooh getting cooking lessons from the chefs is a good idea!

He's going to be soo oblivious to the way they're all scared of him. But at least Butcher will be getting better food.

Not that he thought the previous food was bad in the first place.

imagining the head chefs end up, as politely as possible, trying to ask criminal!stone to stop coming in whenever he feels like it. so what if they end up needing to deal with him being like "okay. i'll be here at 7am. see you then."

the poor chefs. but to be fair, they did complain about him showing up whenever, so hes now showing up at a set time. so its on them /lh

butcher is gonna get so spoiled with the food criminal!stone makes, i just know it

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Criminal!Stone is just going to take note of if anything he cooks accidentally gives Butcher food poisoning. Because that's clearly a better indicator of whether not he cooked something well than asking Butcher.

But he is happy that Butcher likes the food. He's so proud of himself.

honestly, yeah, thats the better way for him to actually learn cooking. or imagine that maybe there are like private chefs on the compound that make meals for the permanent residents, and stone can just. go talk to them and try cooking with them (if they arent scared shitless by him, their former boss, just showing up and being like "you. teach me. now.")

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Criminal!Stone is dragging Red to sit down with them because he too will be eating. So yay for all three of them eating.

Criminal!Stone is asking Butcher how he likes the food because he's trying to see what Butcher likes. Imagining that this now the first time he's cooking food for Butcher because it was always someone else cooking food.

butcher is going to like anything stone cooks, lets be honest. this man ate trash for the hell of it. he's got no excuse to be like "uhmm actually this tastes a little undercooked 🤓☝" and he knows it

so instead criminal!stone gets praise, and butcher's being like "youre so sweet, doll, thank you, this is exactly what i needed right now <3 youre a godsend <3 mwah xoxo :) <3" cuz truly, man was just hungry and would have eaten anything and everything then.

this man is probably a fucking millionaire and yet he gave me the image of him eating moldy food when desperate enough. SIR. get a fucking grip. AND YOU KNOW HOW TO COOK YOURSELF.

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Imagining that Criminal!Stone made Butcher lunch and he uses that against Butcher like "Why aren't you eating lunch? Is my food that terrible?" He's using those big brown eyes against Butcher, as he should.

But yeah, he definitely makes sure Butcher takes breaks. Despite not taking breaks himself when he was working.

butcher, sighing: alright, i'll eat. but only if you also take a break. your hands must be tired from knitting for the past 6 hours straight

rip to red, who now has to also take a (very unwanted) break because without butcher, he cant really do much planning. despite being the sole right hand man now, he does need to run a lotta things by butcher first regardless.

at least theyre all eating now. or maybe red just takes this as the perfect time to do other work he can do on his own. without eating. sir. please.

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Now I'm imagining Criminal!Stone sitting on the couch Butcher got for him in the office and knitting. Because all he wanted was to be in the same room as his boyfriend.

He will become so domesticated, but I don't think he'll mind in the end. He's going to become the best house boyfriend ever.

aw, a domesticated criminal!stone does sound so cute. i love him dearly

the way he's also probably the only reason butcher ends up taking breaks. you cant tell me he doesnt watch the clock and be like "hey, your lunch break was supposed to start 20 minutes ago. dont make me go over there!"

let them be soft despite the horrors

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Criminal!Stone won't truly be able to quit if he's in the compound and so, the best course of action is for them to move into one of Butcher's homes. Even he knows this, though he did briefly think it would be fine if he stayed in the compound before truly thinking about it and being like "Wait, I'd probably try to bribe the staff to tell me what is going on."

At least he's self-aware.

So I guess Criminal!Stone can use the time Butcher is away at the compound or on hunts to find a nice little hobby. For some reason, he's thinking of taking up knitting. Because he thinks it'd be nice if he could make something he or Butcher could wear.

im now thinking of the various ways criminal!stone would have tried to either bribe the staff or butcher himself to let him into the office.

imagine if eventually he does give up on trying to stop letting stone in, and is like "okay. im getting you a couch. but you can *only* be on that couch. not a step closer." in case stone ends up getting restless from being home constantly

me: what are you wearing.

butcher, wearing a sweater stone knit for himself: ... not a word. it was cold in office today, alright???

the way he looks so cute in stone's clothes tho, cuz of how baggy they are on him. aw.

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Criminal!Stone can't get another job due to the fact he's a known criminal, so I guess he's just quitting altogether and letting Butcher take care of him. He's going to get hobbies now, I guess.

He refuses to leave the compound though. Because well, where else is he supposed to live? He can't live away from his boyfriend.

butcher may try to find a compromise for the living situation. because he just has a feeling that criminal!stone wont truly be able to quit

maybe they move in together at one of butchers homes. he wants his boyfie to be away from all guns and weapons, so he can truly just wind down and relax

or they dont and he just has to ban stone from his office instead. thats maybe good enough

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Imagine Criminal!Stone gets injured really badly on a hunt he insisted on crashing. Because karma is a bitch and he deserves to have consequences to his actions.

Butcher, feel free to tell Criminal!Stone to quit the mafia now. He'd agree to it.

butcher is rightfully furious at both himself and at criminal!stone right now. he's pacing around the room as stone's just resting in bed or smth

butcher: okay, not only is this not the first time you've done and interrupted what is meant to be a solo job, you also got yourself in *this* sorry state

butcher: i need you to stop this. i need you to stop caring about me as much as you do. because you're not the only one who's worried about his goddamn boyfriend! look at yourself! all because of what, you dont think i'll be fine at the end of the day?

butcher, sitting down on the bed: i. i dont think this is going to work out. as much as i love you being by my side, you *need* to find something else to do with your time.

butcher: i love you too much to let you go and die on me. so please. just. get a different job. or hell, dont work at all and let me take care of you! just. i need you to be away from the compound. away from the guns and knives and whatever else because its too much.

butcher: i love you too much to watch you die because of me.

okay. since when can he be so emotional. hes looking the other way from me but i just know he's so close to crying. dude's breaking at the seams

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Truly, why are they like this.

Criminal!Stone does reduce the amount of times he dives in front of Butcher to protect him. But if the guards are indeed proven to be shitty (or at least in his eyes), he will shame them.

I just know the guards hate when Criminal!Stone comes with on a hunt.

butcher, as he's out and about looking for his target: hey, what. why are there guards- WHY IS STONE HERE?????

that's one way to say he prefers to do them alone. and probably another reason why he doesnt tell stone or red when he *is* going out to do one.

stone probably had to either bribe or beat the information out of other staff of the compound. sigh.

so truly, they do have it when he decides he must also join butcher

imagining that on the rare cases he does let stone with (or when he crashes the party and joins in anyways), butcher lets stone go in for the kill. it's the chase that he's after, not the slaughter itself. not that he hates it, but he clearly has a preference for the tracking and chase over killing

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Criminal!Stone: But... Your guards are too slow when it comes to protecting you. :(

This man. Smh.

And then he'd freak out if Butcher were to dive in front of him. Because he's a hypocrite.

these two are walking injury magnets, fucking hell lol

butcher's being like "well, i'd rather have shitty guards than need to watch you be all bloodied constantly because you didn't trust their judgement. you barely give them a chance to prove themselves!"

the way theyre also both major hypocrites in the way of "i dont care that im injured, *i* can be walking around. YOU on the other hand need to be in bed and tended to like youre the king of fucking england"

why are they like this.

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Criminal!Stone is giggling over every single rose that he's given. He loves it, thanks.

He's on cloud nine.

I feel like he could be convinced to quit the mafia, ngl. Because I mean, he knows that he's an idiot who dives in front of bullets.

oh yeah, i forgot about stone's habit of diving in front of bullets.

butcher, after probably the 20th time stone's done this: sweetheart. you know i have guards for a reason, right? youre too important to me to be doing this shit constantly

and god forbid they have a role reversal where he's the one who ends up protecting stone from bullet hail. because stone cant have all the injuries in the relationship!!

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Criminal!Stone: ...If you still come back to me at the end of the day, I'm fine with it.

Devil!Stone: This could not be me.

Me: Shut up and go back to the abyss, Devil!Stone.

Anyways, I guess Criminal!Stone is okay with it. Which is shocking but I think he realizes that it doesn't mean that Butcher romantically likes the people he's hooking up with and that little fact helps him immensely.

So yay, they're staying together.

oh yeah, criminal!stone's correct in that regard. all the people butcher sleeps with are one-off occasions and theres never repeats. so. no romance involved. yipee!

also devil!stone being salty about this fascinates me. because i see 2 ways to read it. either:

a) he's annoyed butcher is being ""unfaithful""

or

b) he's annoyed that criminal!stone is fine with butcher sleeping around, even tho he said he's okay???

and. sir. do i need to remind you that this is not even *your* butcher. because demon!butcher is, in fact, staring down canon!butcher for doing this to criminal!stone. he's annoyed at him too, so like, chill out lmao

anyways.

i like to think that, with time, criminal!stone ends up just constantly being pampered by canon!butcher. not a day doesn't go by without at least a rose being presented to criminal!stone. he wants to spoil his baby in any way he lets him. because he wants to show that he still is serious about their relationship, even with its quirks

maybe there's a point where he has a little freak out and asks if he'd be willing to quit the mafia, because he doesnt want him to get hurt

sigh. this man. he's all over the place in my head and i dont even know what he's doing at this point. calm down, man.

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Me: ...So are you going to tell him that you're waiting until marriage to have sex?

Criminal!Stone: But what if he breaks up with me over it?

Uh, yeah. Butcher, sorry to burst your bubble. You are not having sex with Criminal!Stone any time soon.

me: dont do it

butcher: what if i asked him to marry me then.

me, rolling up a newspaper: i SAID dont do it!!!! bad adam!!! bad!!!

he would have very much liked to know this earlier. so. sigh. its a 50/50 on if they stay together then. it all depends on how stone feels about the idea of butcher hooking up with others, even if theyre in a relationship w each other now.

if its a no-go, then everything else falls apart and theyre better off single

guess theyre having serious talk now

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Criminal!Stone is so happy that they're dating! Yay!!

He's completely ignoring the fact that Red had to basically force Butcher into dating him. But y'know what, I can't bear to break Stone's happy bubble.

At least Butcher gets lots of kisses and cuddles for this.

butcher: wait does this mean-

me: no more hookers for you.

butcher, already biting criminal!stone: yknow what i can live with it. i hope.

so sorry baby. and rip to anyone who'll need to see these two later. why is butcher so horny now. sigh. unfortunately for him my phone's dying and i dont want to spend the last of the precentage thinking bout them fucking.

so. uh. anyways.

yay for them dating now :) yipee!

which means stone will now get to go on fancy proper dates. rip ro red because i bet they basically forget about work for days on end

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Criminal!Stone loves the affection. And he will reciprocate because how can he not touch Butcher?

So I guess Red has to deal with this. But he was already dealing with it so there's nothing new.

criminal!stone & butcher: *probably being all over each other somewhere*

red: *walks in*

red: are you two dating.

butcher: ... well. not y-

red: FOR FUCKS SAKE.

hes infuriated, truly. because what do you mean they do all that and havent started dating yet. its horrid!!!

he may take matters into his own hands even more.

red, to butcher: would you date stone?

butcher: hm. probably :)

red, to stone: would you date butcher?

stone: yeah :)

red: there. youre dating. cant believe this shit. see you in the office.

hes just like us frfr. i love the chaotic energy he brings to the table. its like he officiated a wedding just now. but like. for dating