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something about how the church in mtefil is implicated in rape, trafficking, and all other manners of child abuse generally perpetrated by older men and yet the blame for the very existence of sexual assault is placed on a female demon, who, don't get me wrong, is also a rapist, but has had her entire identity reduced to being the embodiment of rape, against her will, and is ultimately repeating a cycle of violence inflicted on her by her father (God) AND the one time she dared to have a true, earnest love, she had to watch that love be repeatedly violated under the laws of arranged marriage that EMPHASIZED FILIAL DUTY ABOVE AUTONOMY. FUUUUUCK


asmodeus was ripped away from sarah because, according to the rules of God, being gay is a greater sin than any manner of sexual assault.


and another thing. when asmodeus does SA priest, what's the first thing he thinks of? the thing that makes him freeze up and prevents him from fighting back?


being beaten by nicholas, of course.
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#I just wish anyone.#or anything at all.#would be outright and clear with me.#this is frustrating for me too.
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#Weirdest thing just happened.#My headphones have a bad habit of disconnecting and reconnecting.#Usually i just chock it up to bad signal.#But just now. It disconnected but never paused the music.#When it came back it was on a new song.#“It's late” by Queen.#at the line “Oh you know that I can love you.”
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#Everyone just thinks I'm nuts.#I'm grateful I got to experience but damn.#It's starting to make me a little sad.
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#I wonder if gods are a lot more like us than we think.#All they really want is to be loved and taken in for what they are.#To have the raw nature of the universe they represent and are.#To be respected and offered to as one would a lover.#To be loved because you are magnificent by right of existing.
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Whatever this is that's fucking with me is like a distributable consciousness.
Like fucking for real.
I'm not sure how this works.
It's like the pantheon + demons + entirely abstract spaces + something from outside.
Either that or it's the Truman show? And I am successfully being driven crazy?
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I want to meet you.
I want to know who you are.
I want to be with you.
#and then this feeling in the back of my head starts.#and I don't know what's real anymore...#is this you?
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