chickenscratchxx

[chickenscratchxx]

[chickenscratchxx]

actually now that I think about it I think that the funniest possible AU for literally any story is one where the main conflict is boiled down to the antagonist being problematic and the protagonists writing a callout post about them and the antagonist gets cancelled. Like the more serious and fucked up the conflict the funnier this is. Like tell me you wouldn’t at least read a one-shot where the premise is the plot of, idk, Hannibal played out as Tumblr/Twitter drama

[chickenscratchxx]

gen Z blm movement rant 

By: chicken.scratch

Let me preface this rant first off by stating that I have no dog in this fight. I don't indulge politics. I don't indulge Donald trump. I don't indulge any government related issues. Why you ask? Getting involved in politics is highly addictive. Hunter S. Thompson is quoted saying that it is "better than sex".  My dislike for politics had humble beginings that stem from my AP gov teacher giving me C, due to a clash that happened a couple months prior to finals. I'm an asshole so when you say something boneless that offends my peers and I and that which involves our pot smoking habits, be ready to go on the defensive, because Jordan is coming at you thirty eight hot. So lets dig in. 

These days it seems that you can't get away from racial issues. Everywhere you go. Whether its social media, TV, YouTube, even three blocks from my house there is constant protesting. I just keep my shades on, headphones in, and grab my pack of cigs and leave.  Now you can look at that and say "Fuck you Jordan your white. You have no idea what its like to be oppressed ". I would agree with you. The only oppression I have ever seen is the unpopularity involving my writing.  Yet this post has nothing to do with either white black or yellow. It does however have everything to do with trends and how they can take your power without even knowing it. But for the sake of a current event we are going to use the blm movement.

The first time the blm movement took presence in my life was after the Trayvon Martin murder. At the time I was to ignorant to take a side. My parents raised my little brother and I with hardly any conditioning on race, sexuality, or political points of view. They are two true free spirits who always believed their greatest parenting lessons stem from unconditional love. So as long as I have been walking this earth, color was just strictly a color. Nothing more. Nothing less. To this day I have never looked a persons skin color and seen demographics, income levels, prejudice is non existent.

Today as I scroll through social media at least fifty percent of all the content I see involves; cop arrest gone wrong, blacked out photos, and Becky flipping birds to a row of cops trying to enjoy their food. The interesting thing about all of these post is that seventy five percent of the people posting them are white. It is one massive conglomeration of people who have no first hand experience with issues that they are talking about. 

This blm movement reminds me of the still present juul/vape movement. Millions of young Americans are now addicted to nicotine because social media made it cool. I myself am addicted to nicotine. I smoke a pack a day and vape nearly a pod a day. But I'm a fucking junkie and I tell you right now I fucking hate smoking. It will take me out of this world one day. Yet I've accepted that. That was a lie I thoroughly enjoy smoking. The packing of the freshly wrapped pack, the lighter, and the chain smoking. Use what I love about smoking as a metaphor if you will.  Gen Z loves the freshly wrapped drama, the violence, and the non stop continuum of the back and forth arguments between antagonist and protagonist. So the next time you're on YouTube, grab a bag of popcorn and get comfortable because it is nothing short of the Roman gladiator era of pleasing the people with a distraction to keep their thoughts off how shitty their actual life is. Now every time I drive through Atlanta and someone is pulled over there is an entire social justice pose just waiting for the other shoe to drop and the cop do something he shouldn't be doing. 

This concept of distraction is also at large with the covid-15. I've had session plenty of women who tested positive within a susceptible period of time. I don't have it. Now by no means am I a conspiracy theorist but the idea of distraction gives a sense of purpose to our lives. Life is boring for the heard if there is nothing to be concerned about. We live in a world of fear. So every time you post something about civic or the blm movement just know that you're feeding the beast. The beast is whatever is trending on Twitter in this moment. The beast is as fluid as water and has the appetite of Godzilla. It feeds off negative energy and pushes you, my mom, and Becky my next door neighbor all into a defensive lets retweet the negativity instead of finding a solution mode. Its a cheap purpose to some idea that is going to be stamped over by a even dumber idea in a matter of days. So if you're one of the people searching for social injustice every single place you go, FUCK YOU. But you make my job fun so more power to you. 

-yours truly

[chickenscratchxx]

gen Z dating rant

By: chicken.scratch

Day 1,345,216 of sitting in my narcissistic despair comes to a close. As I gear up for month seven of sobriety I find it difficult to find daily activities that tickle my fancy. Hence my new found stimulation: the validation that comes from the temptation of procreation. In layman's terms; tinder, bumble, and other  rectifying  outlets that make a man feel wanted. Take this as Jordan's review of dating in the twenty first century if you will. Or take it as a guide to dating in the twenty first century if you may. I really don't give a fuck. 

I took pride in never using an app to get laid for the majority of my sex life. I'm not being over zealous (okay, maybe I am). My nerves and "butterflies" were extinguished around the seventh grade. As a precursor I lost my virginity at 15, got head for the first time at 14, and had my first kiss at 5. I believe the kiss was my lady cousin. Whatever. I'm a sex addict, a dope fiend, a true "anything that produces an effect" fiend. I'm obsessive, possessive, and contradictory. I have expectations out the ass for everyone around me yet expect them to have no preexisting expectations involving my actions. 

So goes my whole life. For as long as I can remember I've had a disconnection to love. Really human beings in general. For as long as I can remember I haven't felt "love" for my parents or anyone for that matter. So I was a sheep in the heard when it came to saying I love you to those I guess Im expected to love. Like I said im a sex addict. It is what it is. So what. Who gives a fuck. Ask my ex lovers and they'll tell you something completely different. I do what I want when I want. That means sex. So before we really dig into this 21st century idea of dating, please if you're a feminist who wears "power in the pussy" t-shirts and flaunts your titties with tassels on main street, yes, even you may be able to get something out of this. So lets dig in.

I'm old school. Even on these fucking apps ill get horny around 12/1am and start asking these validation seekers if they'd like to grab a drink and every time they have some excuse. "Oh its too late", "I don't know you like that", or my personal favorite "I'm already in bed…tomorrow?". Are you fucking kidding me. I've been. Banned on all major platforms several times for slick and sly comments. But this brings us to the hook of the article which is validation problems within generation z. Now lets make this clear I'm not supporting underage drinking but yes I have offered to buy ladies underage a drink. (Key word: offered) I get it. Having a dating app on your phone is as common as having uber, if you put two and two together with that one lets make a baby. But if you have a dating app put in your god forsaken bio (which no one reads) that you're only on it for the validation. So what do I mean by Validation.. Validation (in this case)- the act of ones presence or aesthetic presence being confirmed. In other words- you think I'm sexy and you confirm this affirmation by swiping right on my profile or seeing that I have a new match from so and so, even though I may find nothing in their bio or pictures attractive, the thought of " I could sleep with them if I wanted to" arises. Temptation+Procreation=Validation. The issue with the topic of validation is woman (men as well (I'm not gay but I know men  purge this sin as well))  put a profile up on these apps in order to receive attention that their significant other is no longer providing. I'm guilty of this. In fact, I did this while in a three long relationship. She was no longer pleasing the part of my brain that says "oh yes, Jordan, she thinks you're sexy and that is enough". So I put up a bumble and tinder profile and got off on the fact that I had all these matches and girls messaging me with their shitty pick up lines (My personal favorite: Are you a spy? Because I could see you under covers) and need for validation themselves. And it was a balancing act at first. It really was. But the validation was enough. I did however feel like a piece of shit for having to delete the apps right before we would hangout. It is what it is. I dont give a fuck. I got over that guilt faster than I did a shot of dope or a bad sexual encounter.  All I'm saying is if you're on a dating app and you swipe right and you don't say anything, then fuck you. Stop wasting everyone's time with some beautiful picture and some bullshit and don't reply cause you're on the bullshit. Us single people don't have time to waste on high expectations just to be let down with a no response or a typical "I'm tired I'm going to stay in tonight". Please. If you're one of those people fuck you and your boyfriend who isn't putting out for you. 

Another pattern I've noticed is this trial period involving digital communication. As many times as I've messaged a lady and asked her to grab dinner with me and gotten the response, " I don't know you like that. But we can chat for a while and than Ill let you know". The fucked up thing about this is every person who says this has some sort of very provocative picture. 

-yours truly

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