chinesican-blog

[chinesican-blog]

Someone should give me a list of reasons why I shouldn’t die.

*is handed a blank sheet of paper*

Sweet.

[chinesican-blog]

“Ah, Perry the platypus!”

“What an unexpected -“

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”

“You’re trapped!”

“By societal convention!”

“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”

“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”

[chinesican-blog]

Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to.

[chinesican-blog]

[chinesican-blog]

I’m sure it’s fine.

Is this the first animated Pokemorph? Iunno.

[chinesican-blog]

“‘I was in the shower! What is wrong with you?’ Officer Doug Rose lectured an unclothed, sobbing Esmeralda Rossi in front of her daughter and told her he was in charge, even though she was in her own home. The incident report determined that Officer Rose illegally entered the Rossi home without probable cause.

Esmeralda’s daughter caught the invasion on camera and now this video goes viral.

Rose was “retired,” with a pension, from the Chandler Police Force. No charges.No disciplinary action. He just snatched his pension and ran. #copblockus #cop #copblock #police #StopPolice #policebrutality #policeviolence #USA #America #copnews #politics #policestate #democracy” by @cop_block_us on Instagram http://ift.tt/1TIWDIA

[chinesican-blog]

[chinesican-blog]

[chinesican-blog]

[chinesican-blog]

I want to tell you I love you. I want to scream it at you. I fucking love you so much. You have no feeling idea.

[chinesican-blog]

jesus christ

[chinesican-blog]

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

[chinesican-blog]

omg yesterday at work my boss handed me a cheque and was like ‘i need you to deliver it to this building, it’s quite a large amount of money so be careful’ and i looked at it and it was just over 1.4 million dollars

1.4 MILLION DOLLARS

someone out there in this world thought i was emotionally mature enough to just fuckin…. carry…… in my own two hands….. 1.4 million dollars…. for 3 city blocks….. in the slight wind…..

let me fuckin tell you i have never been more stressed in my ENTIRE LIFE my palms were sweaty knees weak arms spaghetti i was carrying 1.4 million packets of gum in my hands AND IT WAS WINDY WHAT IF I HAD DROPPED IT?? WHAT IF 1.4 MILLION DOLLARS HAD JUST BEEN FLOATING AROUND THE CITY IN THE WIND???? like do you even god damn understand how many packets of gum that is 

i bet nobody in the world has even SEEN 1.4 million packets of gum at once and there i was LITTLE OLD ME with the power to PURCHASE 1.4 MILLION PACKETS OF GUM AND I WAS JUST WALKIN AROUND IN THE SLIGHT WIND AND nobody… KNEW… NOBDOY WHO WALKED PAST ME… COULD UNDERSTAND… THE POWER… THE GUM… IN MY POSESSSION 

and then i got to the building and it was so fancy the doorman who was probably 40 years older than me called me ma’am and i didn’t know how to respond so i laughed nervously and said thank you which i don’t think is actually the appropriate response to someone calling you ma’am now that i think about

AND THEN I GOT TO THE OFFICE OF THE GUY WHO IW AS GIVING THE CHEQUE TO AND MY HANDS WERE SHAKIN AND HE JUST TOOK IT SO CASUALLY AND SAID THANK YOU AND WALKED BACK INTO HIS OFFICE AND I WANTED TO BE LIKE MARK BUDDY DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MANY PACKETS OF GUM YOU ARE VIRTUALLY HOLDING RIGHT NOW but i didn’t because mark is the kind of person who just casually takes 1.4 million dollar cheques from people and i’m terrified of him 

[chinesican-blog]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[chinesican-blog]

So proud of my mother for doing her own research after I sent her that meme. A sign she hung in her car window.

[chinesican-blog]

Video: 100 Years of American Men’s Fashion in 3 Minutes