chiquitablue

[chiquitablue]

Meu coração, meu amor pecado, we should let connection be our compass, not shame, or fear.

[chiquitablue]

it’s the most surreal feeling watching such an respectable and refined older woman struggle to keep her gaze and hands off me when we’re in public

[chiquitablue]

she calls me her wild bunny and kisses me with such hunger i’m practically prey

[chiquitablue]

Oh she also went home with a man I forgot to mention that part

My friends I literally kissed an older woman tonight but she was super drunk and told me that she does that with everyone and she’s completely straight. I’m digging myself a hole and burying myself in it goodbye.

[chiquitablue]

My friends I literally kissed an older woman tonight but she was super drunk and told me that she does that with everyone and she’s completely straight. I’m digging myself a hole and burying myself in it goodbye.

[chiquitablue]

And yet insomnia can often be a gift. Suddenly waking in the middle of the night and having that rare thing: solitude. Barely a sound. Only that of the waves breaking on the beach. And then I enjoy drinking a cup of coffee, all alone in the world. No one interrupts the nothingness. A nothingness that is, at once, empty and rich.

Clarice Lispector, Too Much of Life Complete Chronicles

[chiquitablue]

Nobody talks about how fucking demoralising and exhausting it is having the same yearning repackaged and repackaged and repackaged. And I don’t care anymore, just pull it off clean and smooth. Don’t leave me here with your voice in my ear, your touch lingering on my skin, speaking of a godforsaken man I’ll never meet. Be kind enough to spare me from it all, without telling me I’m sweet and good and leaving me to be swallowed alone by the night.

[chiquitablue]

Can’t stop thinking about her. Her intoxicating femininity, her beautiful strong arms covered in tattoos… the way she looked at me… ugh, enough of this God!

fantasies being actualised is a beautiful thing because yesterday i knelt at the feet of a (rather drunk) older woman who held a glass of red wine with one hand and tousled my hair with the other and i have never felt more known to myself or closer to heaven than as i did in that moment

[chiquitablue]

this wide brown land

[chiquitablue]

god, when is it my turn to experience a transcendental mutual desire

[chiquitablue]

fantasies being actualised is a beautiful thing because yesterday i knelt at the feet of a (rather drunk) older woman who held a glass of red wine with one hand and tousled my hair with the other and i have never felt more known to myself or closer to heaven than as i did in that moment

[chiquitablue]

[chiquitablue]

prey animal energy but in a horse way not a deer way

[chiquitablue]

Clarice Lispector, Água Viva

[chiquitablue]

[chiquitablue]

— fatima aamer bilal, from being unwanted is a language

[chiquitablue]