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children’s movie: [has mild swears like “damn”, a couple jokes or nostalgia bait aimed at the adults in audience, PG level violence, etc]

you all: lol… this isnt a kids moviue… this is made for 20 year olds like me.. the producers Know. this is for us….. get your annoying little brats out of the theater, this is big boy town… i am very insecure 

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it’s a cold and it’s a broken despacito

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one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald

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reblog this w your weirdest fear!!! mine’s balloons

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if he gives you this look…

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‪I once watched a woman pop off all 10 of her press-on nails into the trash before walking into a lesbian bar

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A woman pours so much hand sanitizer on her hands that it runs off and spills all over the floor. It is pooling at her feet. She continues pouring it. A security guard comes over. Ma’am, you’re causing a disturbance. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. The security guard slips, falls. The security guard is covered in hand sanitizer. The security guard is so clean. The woman is so clean. The woman’s hands are so clean.

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Justin McElroy is one of the kindest and most genuine people I have ever seen and his words are so incredibly powerful. I’m crying right now.

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*phone vibrates while sitting on it*

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I made a difference in the world!

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You’ve heard of “thanks, I hate it,” but allow me to introduce to you:

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hello, world (a test of some virtual singer software!)

(soundcloud)

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man shut up unless you’re a frog

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*aggressive nodding*