chloexoskyline

[chloexoskyline]

[chloexoskyline]

Can y'all just open this, I'm just trying to see if this works.

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[chloexoskyline]

A bitch needs real money. About to sell feet pictures. 😂😂

[chloexoskyline]

people who don’t own cats: cats are so aloof… they just keep to themselves and don’t care that you even exist

cats: hey! hey! hey! hey! pay attention to me! hey! why aren’t you looking at me! hey! hey! if you don’t pet me right now i’ll freakin die! hey! heeeyyy!!!!

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please excuse my grandpa in the background but here’s poncho enjoying her thanksgiving superworms

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I’m crying this is so good, quality content right here

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[chloexoskyline]

I moved into summerstock housing tonight and a friendly orange cat immediately greeted my kitties to the neighborhood (he actually climbed into my damn car). 

But then when I stepped into my apartment building I found this:

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- I use an app called S'more that pays me for using my phone. It's stupid easy. Download with this link & get a bonus when you sign up.

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parents: ugh newborns are awful i havent slept in weeks and they cost so much

parents: ugh toddlers are awful everything is broken and i havent slept past 5 in weeks and they cost so much

parents: ugh children are awful all they do is want want want and never give back and they cost so much

parents: ugh pre teens are awful for many many reasons

parents: ugh teenagers are awful theyre lazy slobs who dont do anything and they cost so much

parents: having kids ruined my body, my house, my bank, and my social life

kid/teen/young adult/adult: i dont want kids

parent: wHaaATT YOU DONT WANT KIDS? HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT THEM THEYRE WONDERFUL YOU’LL CHANGE YOUR MIND WHEN YOU GET OLDER

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Forever wondering if I am contributing to a conversation by using my own experiences or being self centered and rude.

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My dad told me a story recently about how he was in Boy Scouts or something and they went on a hike and were each given a rifle and one single bullet to practice shooting with (idk, it was the 70s or whatever). One of his friends, whom I’ll refer to as Steel Balls for reasons that will soon become clear, beckons my dad to a part of the woods and points to a giant hornets nest up in a tree. SB announces that he’s going to shoot it, waits for my dad to take cover (as one should in this situation), and fires off his only round into the nest. Sure enough, a swarm of pissed off hornets descend upon SB, who stands stoically and perfectly still at the base of the tree. Dad maintains that, despite their buzzing right around him, none of the hornets stung his friend, and they soon calmed down and returned to their newly renovated nest. SB turns back to face my dad and imparts this chunk of wisdom: “That’s the secret to dealing with hornets, Jim. They don’t know humans make rifle shots; they don’t know where the noise came from. You gotta stand still and don’t move, and they won’t chase you. If you run, they know you’re guilty.” Apparently dad was so awed he gave up his single bullet so SB could shoot the nest a second time, with the same results.

Long story short: hornets can sense guilt and there are people in the world who have tested this theory.

[chloexoskyline]

[chloexoskyline]

You must excuse me if I say stupid things, but my brain has gone to pieces.

E.M. Forster, A Room with a View (via wordsnquotes)

[chloexoskyline]

women grow hair on their boobs and their butts and their legs and their arms and their stomachs and their face and really anywhere their genetics decides to have hair and it is perfectly normal what isnt normal is men who have never touched a razor trying to shame women for not looking like a hairless baby

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i hate when the teacher’s like “write about a bad time in your life” like i ain’t tryna get a social worker up my ass, thanks tho fam