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Why do we say “slept like a baby” when babies literally wake up screaming every two hours?

I want to sleep like a middle-aged dad who “rests his eyes” during a Marvel movie and wakes up refreshed, confused, and ready to barbecue.

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Trying to unlock the Deluxe Scarecrow in newer save file right now, which is reminding me that I unironically believe that one of the best things a game can do for kids is insert a (non-micro-transaction) gambling mini game that the player is highly encouraged to play with for completion purposes. With, or course, real-life win odds at best.

Nothing has ever turned me off of real life gambling like the absolute bullshit of trying to win enough prize tokens via betting on mini games until I give up and just earn enough regular game currency to purchase the tokens I need for my stupid prize. Dunno what the EU was on about saying that Pokemon's Game Corner was bad for kids.

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pearllhearts

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unfortunately no eclipse photography can ever outdo the waffle house one from 2017

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Maybe it’s just me, but. When I’m reading something and am just flat-out enjoying it, like filled to the brim with glee at the author’s wording or characterization or imagination or ingenuity or pacing, I stop reading. I am so full of excitement and love that I have to stop wherever I am and pace around or do something because Words Are So Damn Cool I need to expend some energy or I’ll explode.

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ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

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René Lalique, ‘Jasmin’ corsage ornament, c. 1898-1901.

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original by clairetablizo

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just so you know i think it was very rude of you to switch our cups when my back was turned. unrelated but can you call an ambulance i want to get my stomach pumped for. recreational purposes

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"it was in 2020" oh so like a year or so ago. a couple years. im sorry 5? did you just say five? five years ago ?

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when I try to show something to a friend related to an interest they like but I know nothing about, I feel like a relative giving them this

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I’m not even an anti-internet person like I love the internet, I just get so frustrated with the passive way people have become accustomed to using it now. not actively seeking things out or engaging with communities, just turning their brain off & letting the algorithm feed them whatever it wants. & I can’t help but feel like that’s partially to blame for the current state of things (anti-“woke” backlash is easier to digest if you turn your brain off when online)

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“Lord it would be great to find a place we could escape sometime”

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Deleted a longer word vomit about why this is. Short version is that, broadly speaking, I think that people who treat media consumption as a form of activism project that behavior onto others, and since they like what they like based on how it does or doesn't align with their sociopolitical interests, they assume that anyone who dislikes something they like must be against their sociopolitical interests.

Fandom Problem #6835:

I really hate when a female character has both male and female haters, but because it's a female character, everyone assumes all the haters are male.

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we need a shorthand term to explain to others that you believe in a healthy skepticism of established medical practice and don't blindly believe whatever Big Pharma™ says to be gospel truth on health, but also dont think the answer is to reject all mainstream medical advice and put trust in christine from facebook who has a 1-week online course "degree" in functional medicine and thinks every health issue is because you dont eat enough beef fat