chocolatedeerllama

[chocolatedeerllama]

You know that my short-term memory is shit but you're pissed that I brought your medicine bottles down. I'm not going through your medicine so that's why. Even though you told me to bring some pills down. It's not mine so I'm not going through it.

Sorry I'm even here.

[chocolatedeerllama]

9-1-1 was an answer tonight and I screamed "what is 9-1-1?!" and my mum laughed in the kitchen.

[chocolatedeerllama]

The last time I cried because of a TV show was NCIS's Ducky's last episode. My mum came into the living room and saw me crying and I'm trying to not ugly cry.

Why Cap?!

[chocolatedeerllama]

No matter what I say I'll be told to shut up. I just had an appointment with my doctor and I said I wanted to talk yet the second I say anything Mum will tell the doctor I was referred to that I don't need to see them again. I need to talk yet it's never good enough for them.

Screw this

[chocolatedeerllama]

This is why I shouldn't be able to have anything. My mum got pissed that I kept the ice packs yet I shouldn't have done that. If I didn't know better I would've eaten one so I could die by poison.

[chocolatedeerllama]

I tell whoever I have plans with that I can't go anywhere if my kitty's in my lap and I usually understand and ask if I'd like to just stay home. They also ask if they can come over and see my little kitties

Cancel all plans

[chocolatedeerllama]

I feel like a stupid shit bag since earlier today I was outside and about to break the ice in front of the back door and right as I was going in front of the garage I fell on the ice and made myself look like an idiot. Now I have to stay in the house while my mum and sibling get to go wherever they want. The last time I went anywhere was to the fucking doctor's office of my annual check-up. If I had the same thing as two years ago; an eye infection I'd be on the way to the doctor for a referral but with this I'll be told by my mum to shut up. Now I get to sit on my ass and stay home while everyone else gets to go out.

[chocolatedeerllama]

My godmother is with me; my Nonna. Her spirit is happy to see me alive on my birthday and I've got a bunch of angels cheering me on since she's seen me while I'm sad and mad and with the brightest smiles she'd seen. I can feel the angels making a scene up there and getting more angels to be happy. My Nonna was there when my mum wasn't there so I know how it is to lose someone close

[chocolatedeerllama]

I just fucked up. I was cleaning up in the kitchen and I happened to drop my glass off the counter and it broke in the sink. I obviously got pissed off yet I'm the one who's being told that my cup isn't something to be mad at. I want to go to my Nonna's grave tomorrow to celebrate her life since tomorrow is her second year not with my family and just talk to her grave yet I'll be told that I'm not allowed to go anywhere near the cemetery.

[chocolatedeerllama]

In two weeks I want to go to the cemetery that my Grandma and Nonna are in for my birthday and talk to their graves yet I'll be told to shut up about them. My mom doesn't want anything to do with the cemetery since my Nonna passed four days before my birthday and my Grandma passed two weeks before her birthday. I felt obligated to say yes to going to watch Hamilton as a big gift for me yet I didn't want to and then I'll be told that what I want is never good enough... I used to like Hamilton but after my accident I'm not how I was before and I was never seen the same...

[chocolatedeerllama]

I tell my kitties every day when I give them their wet food to sit first. It started by the youngest one; he would whine, I'd tell him to sit then he'd do what I say then the rest followed suit; now it's an order for them all to sit where the get their food and squeak

Good kitties

(via)

[chocolatedeerllama]

My oldest kitty does that. He jumps into small boxes and sleeps in like a purr-fect loaf into 'em. He doesn't care, he likes to be kinda cornered in

Tiny unit

[chocolatedeerllama]

My kitty purrs and drools when he gets alot of affection. Full on purrs, big drops of drool then he makes big biscuits

relaxed kitty

(via)

[chocolatedeerllama]

My kitty loves to twirl into circles to try to get her tail

Scaredy cat

[chocolatedeerllama]

I'm sorry for being alive. You know that my short-term memory is shit yet you want me to remember everything without having a fucking list. How would you feel if you woke up tomorrow and found out I killed myself

You would be so fucking happy that you aren't burdened with me being here alive and fucking here to fuck everything up.

[chocolatedeerllama]

I didn't know that my sibling gave the cats their treats. I'm supposed to know everything right? This is why I shouldn't do anything. I'm so fucking sorry for not hearing that and sorry for clogging the fucking toilet. I didn't know that what I did would clog it.

Everything is my fault.

[chocolatedeerllama]

Take all my money. I threw the pouches the vet gave our kitties to have to fix the small pandemic of flees running around my house. I shouldn't be able to do anything with the animals.i fucked up.