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1:55PM
We’re going to pick up my dad on the airport at around 8 pm. I’m pretty psyched. Mom promised that we’re gonna eat on the buffet tonight yay.
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A LIST OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED ON THE FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL
I wasn’t in the mood for the entire week but yeah, still managed to get through though.
Ditch the class on the first formal day and went to Ilyn’s house and watched some React videos. It’s also my first time to eat on Ministop. We had our lunch there. I ate combo meal D. Maaaan it was so good. I’ll try the chicken next time.
The heat was really intense the whole week which is why I’m always irritated and I notice every stupidity on the classroom. Everyone’s annoying and I’m so close to punching half of the class.
On the second day, the teacher for our afternoon classes didn’t show up but this is not news so who cares. Nica and I were talking about food, like the usual. Then impulsively thought of going to Chef Lee. It’s a Korean Restaurant. It’s my first time to actually eat there. It was kinda new to me lol. Crews shouting ‘Anneonghaseyo’ as we enter, they were playing rap radio music, there are few customers and ordering when you don’t know much about the culture is soooo awkward. I kept on laughing and I only talk about the food in a small voice. We ordered Kimbap and a blahblahblah spicy Ramen. Overall experience? 7/10.
I’m having a hard time walking around the school ALONE. It was 3 days straight that I saw my crushes, yes they’re two. But I love them both and I’m serious with liking them. Sometimes, they are like a mood to me. Maybe each have different degree but I met them in the same school year. One is just a madly happy crush and the one already reached the point that I could really see a future with. One is an openly homosexual and the other was half-closeted bi. I’m so problematic but can’t help it sorry. So going back, the problem is that I can’t control my reflexes whenever I see them. I’m pretty sure they both know that I kind of feeling awkward when they were around. I can’t stop myself from LITERALLY running away. That happened. I think one of them is already dropping indirects on me through twitter. Side-story: Last year, the guy one said hi to me. I even saw him hesitating to wave his hands. That was so sweet of him. But what did I do? I starred blankly on his face with a raging heart beat and sweaty palms. The cliche-ness and stupidity of that moment was enough to make me hate myself. So I decided to just let it pass. But it didn’t stop there, it’s haunting me like shit. I feel bad. I could’ve said hello or something. That was the last time he noticed me. The other days we were just strangers passing on the hallways. God I felt so bad.
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THIS IS SUCH A TERRIBLE DAY. I'M UTTERLY FEELING USELESS AND FUCKING SENSITIVE. I JUST WANNA ISOLATE MYSELF FROM THE PRESSURE OF GOING TO MY CLASS AND TALKING TO PEOPLE THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO UNCOMFORTABLE. THE HEAT IS ALSO UNBEARABLE LIKE FUCKKKK. HAVING UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS SUCKS. I KEPT ON PICTURING OUT THAT I'M DYING, BEING STABBED WITH A KNIFE. I NEED TO RELEASE THESE. THIS IS THE LEAST THAT I COULD DO TO LET THIS DAY PASS WITHOUT ACTUALLY KILLING MYSELF.
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