chootolove-blog

[chootolove-blog]

The Choice

You were the choice God offered. All my prayers, doubts and questions led me to you. As I believe in Him, I believe you are the one God put in my life to bring love and happiness. Therefore, I promise to love and stay by your side.

I have thousand excuses to runaway, Yet again I am always reminded that you should have been the one and only reason. I have chosen to love you and only you. Am I blinded by love? I believe not, because God guides my path. As much as I trust Him, I sure believe your existence brings out the goodness in me. 

[chootolove-blog]

Smoothies Sincerity

it was about the hypocrites. don’t waste your time on them. just do your work as what you are supposed to do. until the time comes, hypocrites will show their true self not only to you but everyone. as easy as it may sound, then everyone will just know that those are the hypocrites.

[chootolove-blog]

San Francisco to Warsaw, Denver in heart, Berlin is love in process

Wait, what? yes. I’m turning myself to an afternoon randomness. Where? Library cubicle you know. Oh, what a day. So a quick rundown since this early morning til the time I have been distracted for about 2 hours unproductively here:

- doctor appointment which turned out I had to wait again for the test result in a week

- did taste test grocery for Hausgemachte Tee we planned to sell at the restaurant I worked at

- had Indian Suppe for lunch for 2,70EUR (good vegetarian soup really!) at Math building cafeteria. I was so full of the soup earlier today but just finished my choco-coffee spread sandwich seconds ago

- sit down for 2 hours at the library, but done nothing useful really

Then I decided maybe Tumblr-ing would be worth a little bit of my time.

*crack* (opening Ritter Sport chocolate)

My mind has been wondering lately.. would going back home and meeting ur comfortable self can again fix my mind and soul? The time is right before I have to move again to another city. So the story of my life is gonna be city trips every 2 years. The perfect period when you just start to settle down and love the town huh?

Moral of the story: time heals and convinces me that in the end it is not bad at all

[chootolove-blog]

The Us

It has always been the us, the only two of us. Forget about the hardship to bring anybody else. The more I understand, the more we learn, we do both try to make us work.

Sometimes, I don’t know yet what you hate. Sometimes, you don’t do what I want. We expect the one we silently pray for. Then, we were disappointed when it didn’t come to our liking. How far more we have to learn? Is it really new for us to understand someone? It is just funny you know. The way we act can’t hold up to the fact that love exists at certain time. 

It has been the worst ‘looking from different perspective’ ‘thinking about it from both sides’ kinda things. I want to acknowledge your efforts, I do. I know the same exact feelings in which I have done stuff to for us.

Let’s end it with knowing that it has always been the us. The two who can conquer. Be patient, be lovely. and choose to love. Dream what you have been dreaming of. I am sorry too for many things, it’s been tough for me, too. But, I know I love you.

[chootolove-blog]

The Dark Room and The Movie

The dark room and the movie. No, I don’t forget - my music. Joshua Radin? Youtube ‘choose to love’ playlist? Bossa Nova cover? 

Watching ‘How to be Single’, New York City, reflecting back to the life in the past. I know I may just need to appreciate what I have at present. Stop thinking back. But, there is a life back there I left behind. A happy one you know.

Once life is a meaningful one. A life that could be lonesome and tiresome because you stood only on your two own foot and nobody could hold your hands and more hugged you. How could a life like that become something you miss the most? The current one, suffocating. Pardon me for the complain, but it is. I have never been so depressed like this. Why is it? It’s the big question mark I have been looking for a long while. I don’t know what’s coming and I didn’t know it either back then. But, but, but.. still :)

Denver, I miss you. All my life, the adventure which leads me nowhere. Nowhere that I have ever known of. If confidence is thee guidance to my path, I have not a single drop less. I lost the key, I guess.

The key to open the handcuffs at the moment.

oh, Berlin. You are lovely. Thousands people from all around the worlds know it. I just happen to be the one who has a complicated relationship with you. It is hard for me to love you, even I know you can bring a better of me.

Let me work on myself, let me love you.

[chootolove-blog]

It is not easy. When all the troubles kick in, they shake your heart. Why is that?

Sometimes, you can just say “don’t expect anything and you will live happier” It’s impossible. Human dreams of happy things. 

Is love tiresome? Isn’t being love is the best feeling in the world? Yes, of course if you can appreciate it. What if you expect to appreciate more than what you get. Then, maybe that’s where the issue comes from. I have kept telling the world to choose to love whatever it may take, whatever happens. What does the future hold? How to overcome in next time the trouble comes make a visit again. It’s unavoidable and I hate it so much. 

You do what you do, I want what I want. I wish you were someone who could do what I wanted you to do. You might wish the same. I know it’s hard for both. So are we meant to be or not? Fear of the future of us? I do. Fear of having our own way? No. I am afraid there is no happiness and we can’t avoid it. So we have to live in misery. How can we understand each other? Well, we seem understand each other. We just can’t be what the other person want. 

Hold me just hold me. Show it. “Love me like you do”

[chootolove-blog]

I know, I did choose you

[chootolove-blog]

The broken road - the hardships and challenges. All of them bring me to You, and you too.

[chootolove-blog]

The Joy of Writing

As everyone might have known, when you have a very new and different thing in life, it can be the most unbelievable to-do list that excites you at the moment. Well, here I am with my Tumblr. In fact, this is not something new for me at all. I have done a lot of random writing, so called expressing my wandering INFJ thoughts. Truth is, they never last. I did get excited at the beginning, but it always slowed down then stopped at some point. Hopefully, here, I just have a place. I won’t worry if I can keep posting everyday or else. I am not here as a blogger. It is just a nice place to revisit the past, reconcile the present, and rearrange the future plan.

[chootolove-blog]

Appreciate the Underappreciated

Mungkin gw baru sadar. Saat waktu itu ada untuk diam dan berpikir, banyak jawaban mudah dari pertanyaan-pertanyaan lepas yang semu.

And this is what I get..

Mungkin kita kurang mengerti kalau kelebihan pasangan kita yang seharusnya kita appreciate and acknowledge, might have been taken for granted and neglected. Instead, we might have fought all week by pointing out at the not-my-type habits. Baru sadar aja, ternyata bener-bener masih banyak banget lesson I have to learn from this 3 months young relationship. I thought I know you well enough, but I still dont.

[chootolove-blog]

Love Rules

Does love have rules? NOPE. Never mention any game plans or game rules. From what I‘ve learned, just choose to love. Love the right person, it should not be something-stupid-like-I-love-you kind of thing at the first place. When you sure with your love, then go ahead.. there is no rules. Love him/her all the way! Keep choosing to love no matter what. Love can conquer the world.

[chootolove-blog]

Satu Pertama

Ini seperti kembali lagi kepada tingkah pola cerita lama. Mungkin memang disitu tempatku. Wadahku. Walau tidak tahu sejauh apa ini akan berlanjut, tapi mungkin menulis memang menarik.

Jadi.. biar Twitter punya saingannya!