chrismerle

[chrismerle]

Breathtaking work from @embroiderybynusik on Reddit and Instagram

[chrismerle]

🔊🔊 END STAGE DISCOURSE!! END STAGE DISCOURSE!! WE HAVE ARRIVED AT "FICTIONAL SEX IS COERCIVE BECAUSE CHARACTERS ARE BEING FORCED TO DO THINGS BY THE AUTHOR"!!!! 🔊🔊

[chrismerle]

[chrismerle]

the people who go "we shouldn't be so open about nudity because it could trigger someone's dysphoria" are like two steps max removed from "fat people being fat in public could trigger someone with an ed". like peoples' bodies are not the problem here, trying to restrict someone else's body because of how you personally feel is indistinguishable from conservative praxis. i'm sorry if that sounds harsh but there is basically no interpretation of "we need to control the bodies of [demographic]" that does not fall down the slippery slope of fascism.

[chrismerle]

Elsa's Writing Commissions

Hey, hi, hello. I'm Elsa, if the title didn't give it away. If the title also didn't give it away, I'm doing writing commissions! Because I am broke. If it puts your fears at ease, I'm not a newbie to this; I've been a professional ghostwriter for years, to the tune of well over 800,000 words.

If you'd like to see any of my writing first (perfectly understandable), then you can look at my #writeblr tag, my (admittedly small) ghostwriting portfolio (NDAs are a bitch), and my AO3 account.

PRICING:

$0.03 per word.

So, 500 words would be $15.

You give me a ballpark of the length you want. So, if you’re willing to spend between $20 and $25, the story will be between 666 and 833 words.

I’ll round down to the nearest $0.10. So if the finished product is 526 words, I’ll report it as being $15.70, rather than $15.78.

I take payments through Paypal or Venmo.

GUIDELINES:

500-word minimum

You don’t need to supply a full outline, but you do need to have some idea of what you want to happen in the story. The longer the story, the more detail I’ll need. If you just want, like, 500 words, then 'X and Y cuddling’ will suffice, but if you want 5,000 words, I’ll need more to go off of than that.

I will write about your OCs, as long as you can provide info on them. This includes fully original, non-fanfiction works.

That said, I will also write fanfic, as long as I know the source material well enough (list provided below).

I will write smut, just double-check any kinks you want first. (I won’t write any involving bodily fluids, poop, vore, or feet, sorry.)

If I’m super uncomfy with the subject matter, I’ll turn down the commission, if only because it would be a really badly written end product.

Sorry, but I won't write self-insert or reader-insert fic.

You can get in touch with me here through DMs and discuss what you're looking for there, or you can ask for my email or Discord if you would like to discuss it away from tumblr.

FANDOM LIST (below the cut):

Kingdom Hearts (not Back Cover or Union)

Final Fantasy VII (original Compilation or Remake)

Final Fantasy XV

Persona 5, vanilla or Royal

Persona 4, vanilla only

Dragon Age (games only)

Mass Effect

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Avatar: The Last Airbender (original series only)

Good Omens (book or show)

Five Nights at Freddy’s (games or movie, not the books)

Who Killed Markiplier? and related series

The Legend of Zelda (OoT, MM, TP, SS, or BotW only)

Star Wars (movies only)

Power Rangers, Ninja Storm and Dino Thunder

Yuri! On Ice

Fullmetal Alchemist, original anime or Brotherhood

Black Butler, anime or manga

Transformers, cartoons, anime, and live action movies

Critical Role campaign 2

Subnautica

The Sandman (Netflix series only)

Sonic the Hedgehog (recent movies only)

Howl’s Moving Castle (Ghibli movie only)

EPIC: The Musical

KPop Demon Hunters

[chrismerle]

Elsa's Crochet Commissions

Yooooo, I'm Elsa. I am broke and between contracts. I'm attempting to get a small business off the ground, and while I am enjoying the process, it's slow going and I need money in the interim.

I crochet. I crochet a lot, and generally pretty quickly. I can crochet things for you, if that's what you're interested in--especially with Christmas in a few weeks. (granted, if you order something after we're already into December, it will probably not be finished, packaged, and shipped in time for Christmas, sorry) If you're interested in my ready-made stuff, there's a link to my Etsy shop in my pinned post. If you're interested in custom pieces, keep reading!

Things To Know:

I'll take three crochet commissions at a time, but they won't necessarily be first come, first serve. I'll probably work on all of them simultaneously, which means if Person A orders a shawl and then Person B orders a hat, Person B's hat will likely be done before Person A's shawl.

I do clothing items, accessories, plushies, blankets, etc.

I crochet. I do not knit. I do not know how to knit. I don't have any imminent plans to learn how to knit.

The price of the item will be determined by the complexity of the end result, the amount of time I estimate it will take, the type of yarn you want it made of (wool or cotton are more expensive than acrylic, alpaca is more expensive than sheep wool, etc.), and the cost of the pattern if you want a specific item and the pattern costs money.

Payment will be half up front, then half + shipping afterwards. I have Paypal and Venmo. (I prefer Venmo.)

The item will be made in an environment where cats and dogs are present, if you need to worry about allergies. I can't really feasibly escape them.

What To Do:

If you're interested, get in touch. You can DM me here on tumblr or email me at widgets.apparel@gmail.com. In the unlikely event I already have three commissions lined up, I'll let you know, but if you want I can let you know when a slot frees up later.

Give me as many details of what you want as you can.

If you haven't presented specific patterns and yarn choices, I will supply options for your approval.

Once the details are determined, I will give the price and you'll pay half.

I will commence working. I can offer a rough estimate of when the item will be finished, but I can't make any guarantees.

When I'm done, I will take photos and show you. You'll send the second half of the payment + shipping.

I will package up the item and give you the tracking info, and get it to the post office, at which point it is figuratively and literally out of my hands.

Assuming the post office doesn't shit the bed, your item will arrive! Yay! I don't require photos of you with the item, but I will appreciate them.

Examples (under the cut):

(very long post under the cut, sorry)

Dragon scale fingerless gloves, acrylic. $32.

Granny square purse, acrylic. $45.

Headband/earwarmer, acrylic. $22.

Semi-posable dog plushie, acrylic. $175. (took about 25 hours)

Triangle shawl, acrylic. $160.

Fingerless gloves, acrylic. $28.

Textured slouchy hat, wool. $35.

Tunisian crochet plaid hat, acrylic. $35.

Pokeball hat, acrylic. $28.

Mosaic crochet makeup bag/pencil zipper pouch (with lining), acrylic. $36.

Tunisian crochet scarf, acrylic. $42.

Capybara plushie, acrylic. $30.

Rustic bunny plushie, acrylic. $15.

Laptop bag (with lining, buttons, and strap), acrylic. $95.

Medium purse (with lining, strap, and buttons), acrylic. $70.

Stegosaurus plushie, acrylic and wool/acrylic blend. $75 (he's a Big Boi)

Narwhal plushie, cotton/acrylic blend. $20.

Ribbed scarf, wool/acrylic blend. $42.

Chevron scarf, acrylic (I think?). $45.

Flower hat, acrylic. $38.

R2-D2 hat, acrylic. $30.

BB-8 hat, acrylic. $30.

Six-ish inch bear (with or without flower), acrylic. $20.

[chrismerle]

[chrismerle]

I LOVE THIS THING❗️❗️❗️

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The vibe I bring in to the function

[chrismerle]

My mother passed away last week. I'm overwhelmed, and broke again already.

I need funds for toilet paper, hand soap, and laundry supplies. Goal: $100

k: ko-fi.com/audacenoire p: paypal.me/audacenoire c: $audacenoire v: @ audacenoire Throne (wishlist): https://throne.com/audacityinblack

[chrismerle]

"should we tell authors on ao3 when we have discord conversations about their fics" i don't speak for everyone here but if y'all ever find a group chat discussing my fics you can should must and WILL send me screenshots of the whole damn thing. inflate my ego. gimme

[chrismerle]

Elsa's Writing Commissions

Hey, hi, hello. I'm Elsa, if the title didn't give it away. If the title also didn't give it away, I'm doing writing commissions! Because I am broke. If it puts your fears at ease, I'm not a newbie to this; I've been a professional ghostwriter for years, to the tune of well over 800,000 words.

If you'd like to see any of my writing first (perfectly understandable), then you can look at my #writeblr tag, my (admittedly small) ghostwriting portfolio (NDAs are a bitch), and my AO3 account.

PRICING:

$0.03 per word.

So, 500 words would be $15.

You give me a ballpark of the length you want. So, if you’re willing to spend between $20 and $25, the story will be between 666 and 833 words.

I’ll round down to the nearest $0.10. So if the finished product is 526 words, I’ll report it as being $15.70, rather than $15.78.

I take payments through Paypal or Venmo.

GUIDELINES:

500-word minimum

You don’t need to supply a full outline, but you do need to have some idea of what you want to happen in the story. The longer the story, the more detail I’ll need. If you just want, like, 500 words, then 'X and Y cuddling’ will suffice, but if you want 5,000 words, I’ll need more to go off of than that.

I will write about your OCs, as long as you can provide info on them. This includes fully original, non-fanfiction works.

That said, I will also write fanfic, as long as I know the source material well enough (list provided below).

I will write smut, just double-check any kinks you want first. (I won’t write any involving bodily fluids, poop, vore, or feet, sorry.)

If I’m super uncomfy with the subject matter, I’ll turn down the commission, if only because it would be a really badly written end product.

Sorry, but I won't write self-insert or reader-insert fic.

You can get in touch with me here through DMs and discuss what you're looking for there, or you can ask for my email or Discord if you would like to discuss it away from tumblr.

FANDOM LIST (below the cut):

Kingdom Hearts (not Back Cover or Union)

Final Fantasy VII (original Compilation or Remake)

Final Fantasy XV

Persona 5, vanilla or Royal

Persona 4, vanilla only

Dragon Age (games only)

Mass Effect

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Avatar: The Last Airbender (original series only)

Good Omens (book or show)

Five Nights at Freddy’s (games or movie, not the books)

Who Killed Markiplier? and related series

The Legend of Zelda (OoT, MM, TP, SS, or BotW only)

Star Wars (movies only)

Power Rangers, Ninja Storm and Dino Thunder

Yuri! On Ice

Fullmetal Alchemist, original anime or Brotherhood

Black Butler, anime or manga

Transformers, cartoons, anime, and live action movies

Critical Role campaign 2

Subnautica

The Sandman (Netflix series only)

Sonic the Hedgehog (recent movies only)

Howl’s Moving Castle (Ghibli movie only)

EPIC: The Musical

KPop Demon Hunters

[chrismerle]

Elsa's Crochet Commissions

Yooooo, I'm Elsa. I am broke and between contracts. I'm attempting to get a small business off the ground, and while I am enjoying the process, it's slow going and I need money in the interim.

I crochet. I crochet a lot, and generally pretty quickly. I can crochet things for you, if that's what you're interested in--especially with Christmas in a few weeks. (granted, if you order something after we're already into December, it will probably not be finished, packaged, and shipped in time for Christmas, sorry) If you're interested in my ready-made stuff, there's a link to my Etsy shop in my pinned post. If you're interested in custom pieces, keep reading!

Things To Know:

I'll take three crochet commissions at a time, but they won't necessarily be first come, first serve. I'll probably work on all of them simultaneously, which means if Person A orders a shawl and then Person B orders a hat, Person B's hat will likely be done before Person A's shawl.

I do clothing items, accessories, plushies, blankets, etc.

I crochet. I do not knit. I do not know how to knit. I don't have any imminent plans to learn how to knit.

The price of the item will be determined by the complexity of the end result, the amount of time I estimate it will take, the type of yarn you want it made of (wool or cotton are more expensive than acrylic, alpaca is more expensive than sheep wool, etc.), and the cost of the pattern if you want a specific item and the pattern costs money.

Payment will be half up front, then half + shipping afterwards. I have Paypal and Venmo. (I prefer Venmo.)

The item will be made in an environment where cats and dogs are present, if you need to worry about allergies. I can't really feasibly escape them.

What To Do:

If you're interested, get in touch. You can DM me here on tumblr or email me at widgets.apparel@gmail.com. In the unlikely event I already have three commissions lined up, I'll let you know, but if you want I can let you know when a slot frees up later.

Give me as many details of what you want as you can.

If you haven't presented specific patterns and yarn choices, I will supply options for your approval.

Once the details are determined, I will give the price and you'll pay half.

I will commence working. I can offer a rough estimate of when the item will be finished, but I can't make any guarantees.

When I'm done, I will take photos and show you. You'll send the second half of the payment + shipping.

I will package up the item and give you the tracking info, and get it to the post office, at which point it is figuratively and literally out of my hands.

Assuming the post office doesn't shit the bed, your item will arrive! Yay! I don't require photos of you with the item, but I will appreciate them.

Examples (under the cut):

(very long post under the cut, sorry)

Dragon scale fingerless gloves, acrylic. $32.

Granny square purse, acrylic. $45.

Headband/earwarmer, acrylic. $22.

Semi-posable dog plushie, acrylic. $175. (took about 25 hours)

Triangle shawl, acrylic. $160.

Fingerless gloves, acrylic. $28.

Textured slouchy hat, wool. $35.

Tunisian crochet plaid hat, acrylic. $35.

Pokeball hat, acrylic. $28.

Mosaic crochet makeup bag/pencil zipper pouch (with lining), acrylic. $36.

Tunisian crochet scarf, acrylic. $42.

Capybara plushie, acrylic. $30.

Rustic bunny plushie, acrylic. $15.

Laptop bag (with lining, buttons, and strap), acrylic. $95.

Medium purse (with lining, strap, and buttons), acrylic. $70.

Stegosaurus plushie, acrylic and wool/acrylic blend. $75 (he's a Big Boi)

Narwhal plushie, cotton/acrylic blend. $20.

Ribbed scarf, wool/acrylic blend. $42.

Chevron scarf, acrylic (I think?). $45.

Flower hat, acrylic. $38.

R2-D2 hat, acrylic. $30.

BB-8 hat, acrylic. $30.

Six-ish inch bear (with or without flower), acrylic. $20.

[chrismerle]

My opinion on adapting video games into movies is if you're an actor that's never played the source material because you're not a gamer, fine. Whatever. Pretending is your whole job, you'll probably still do fine with basic research on your character.

But if you're the director and you've never touched the source material, what are you even doing here