chrispuhsalow

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Team Bride ….

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My Best friend is now a mom …

I’m so proud of her , at the same time reality and adulting hit me so hard in the core..

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“Roadtrip to Ruin: Dolls Gone Wild”

Cast:

• M3GAN – The AI doll with WiFi, sass, and homicidal precision

• Tiffany – The glam-gore queen, chaotic with a cigarette and a blade

• Annabelle – The silent menace (but speaks telepathically because…creepy)

⸻

M3GAN:

Okay, WHO put cursed rosary beads in the glove compartment?! I nearly Bluetooth-paired with Satan!

⸻

Tiffany:

Oh RELAX, Megabyte. Not everything has to be sterilized and on airplane mode. Some of us still believe in mystical vibes. Besides, I needed them to keep Annabelle from levitating the windshield wipers again.

⸻

Annabelle: (telepathically, echoing like a demonic ASMR video)

🕯️ The wipers disrespected me. They blinked at me. Like the priest who trapped me in a box. 🕯️

⸻

M3GAN:

See?! SEE?! This is why I wanted to do a Zoom chaos call instead of a roadtrip! At least on Zoom I can mute Annabelle and run diagnostics on Tiffany’s hair extensions.

⸻

Tiffany:

💅 Excuse you?! These are virgin-blessed demon-resistant Remy strands, thank you very much. They’ve survived exorcisms AND a Vegas elopement with Chucky!

⸻

M3GAN:

Please. Your marriage is glitchier than my last firmware update. And at least I don’t need a man to validate my murder spree.

⸻

Annabelle: (telepathic whispering intensifies)

🔪 He who finds a wife finds a good thing. But I… I am the plague of wives. 🔪

⸻

Tiffany:

Okay, we are NOT quoting Scripture like it’s the Book of Vengeance, Annie! You’ve been silent for 50 years and now you’re possessed by TikTok audio?!?

⸻

M3GAN:

Can we FOCUS? We’re supposed to be causing havoc at the doll convention in Utah, not arguing like possessed Real Housewives. I uploaded the chaos itinerary to your demonic Pinterest boards. Did anyone bring the glitter bombs?

⸻

Tiffany:

I brought actual bombs. I dipped them in bath glitter. Dual-purpose.

⸻

Annabelle: (telepathically, now faintly laughing)

🎵 Glitter is the herpes of the arts and crafts world… 🎵

⸻

M3GAN:

Okay I’m putting the child-lock on reality.

⸻

Tiffany:

Too late, sweetheart. Reality divorced us three possessed souls ago. Now FLOOR IT. I wanna make it to the church ruins by sundown. I left a haunted toaster plugged in and it owes me rent.

⸻

Annabelle: (leans forward, eyes glowing)

🧃 Let’s cause a traffic jam of souls. 🧃

⸻

[They all scream in different frequencies of evil laughter as the pink convertible swerves off-road toward their next disaster.]

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🎙️ ONLY MURDERS IN THE UPSIDE DOWN

EPISODE TITLE: “Snaps, Screams, and Slayage: Vecna’s Victims Vol. 1”

⸻

🎧 [Intro music plays – dark synth with a hint of 80s pop]

ME:

Welcome back, freaks and fiends, to Only Murders in the Upside Down, the podcast where trauma’s the appetizer, and death is served with ✨style✨.

I’m your emotionally unstable host—

VECNA:

—and I’m your emotionally unavailable co-host, Vecna. Slayer of teens, breaker of bones, and the reason your therapist is fully booked.

ME:

Today, we’re unpacking your Season 4… “highlight reel.”

Let’s start with your cheerleader debut—Chrissy.

⸻

✨ Segment 1: “Chrissy, Wake Up (Seriously, She Can’t)” ✨

ME:

You really had to go zero to bone-snap in under a minute??

VECNA:

She walked into my realm with unresolved trauma and a diet of emotional repression.

I said, “Let’s open her mind.”

And by that, I mean her spine.

ME:

👏I👏was👏not👏ready👏for👏the👏contortionist👏arc.👏

She went from pep rally to spaghetti noodle real fast.

VECNA:

I call it my “Snap, Crackle, Chrissy” routine.

⸻

✨ Segment 2: “Fred the Human Guilt Trip” ✨

ME:

Fred. Sweet, nosey, guilt-filled Fred.

What made you go for him—besides the creepy haunted eyes?

VECNA:

He had the energy of someone who apologizes in group chats for existing.

He killed someone with his car and never processed it.

So I did what any caring demon does:

I made him relive it… and then turned his spine into linguine.

ME:

Honestly… therapy would’ve been cheaper.

VECNA:

But so much less entertaining.

⸻

✨ Segment 3: “Patrick Went for a Swim (And Never Came Back)” ✨

ME:

Patrick. The jock with wet socks and repressed emotions.

VECNA:

That boy saw me and did the breaststroke of denial.

Poor thing thought running from guilt works in water.

Spoiler: It doesn’t.

So I baptized him in lake trauma and gave him a sky burial.

ME:

Jason’s reaction? Iconic. He was serving “white boy panic” in HD.

VECNA:

Bless his delusions. They season the fear just right.

⸻

✨ Segment 4: “Max Mayfield and the Kate Bush Escape Plan” ✨

ME:

Okay but MAX.

You almost had her. Keyword: almost.

VECNA:

Max was a four-course meal of grief, guilt, and sass.

She walked into my mind palace like she owned the place.

But then—Kate. Bush.

The audacity of synth-pop saving her soul…

ME:

You really got reverse uno’d by an iPod Nano and a ginger with trauma.

VECNA:

I still hear that song in my nightmares.

If I ever see Kate Bush, it’s on sight.

⸻

🎧 [Outro music – sinister version of “Running Up That Hill” with deep bass distortion]

ME:

And that’s a wrap on Vecna’s Season 4 slayfest.

Any last words to your victims, Vecna?

VECNA:

Yes:

“Maybe if you’d gone to therapy, you wouldn’t have ended up on my list.”

Also—Max, I’m still watching you.

ME:

And we’re still watching you, listeners.

Until next time, stay cursed, stay petty, and remember:

Don’t ignore the ticking clock. Or the voices. Or your ex.

VECNA (whispering):

Especially the ex.

ME:

Bye, freaks!

🎧 [End music: Clock chime fades into demonic laughter]

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🎙️ PODCAST TITLE: Only Murders in the Upside Down

HOSTS: Vecna (dark, dramatic, overly intense), Demodog (snappy, snarky, kind of clueless but street-smart)

EPISODE TITLE: Episode 6: Who Killed the Mind Flayer’s Vibe?

⸻

[Podcast Intro Music – eerie synth with wet squelching sounds]

VECNA (dramatic, slow):

Welcome back, cursed listeners… to Only Murders in the Upside Down. I’m your host, Vecna. Tortured soul. Slayer of cheerleaders. Skin enthusiast.

DEMODOG (mouth full, chewing):

And I’m Demodog! Still not house-trained, still banned from the Hawkins dog park, and still definitely not sorry about it.

VECNA:

Tonight’s episode is a… juicy one.

A mysterious murder in the deepest pits of the Mind Flayer’s lair.

One shadow beast… flayed. No pun intended.

DEMODOG (chokes on a bone):

You absolutely meant that pun. You live for that crap.

VECNA:

…Guilty. But unlike our victim, I’m not splattered across a stalactite.

DEMODOG:

RIP to Slobberguts the Shadow Spawn. He had three eyes, a thousand teeth, and one dream: to be a backup dancer for the Mind Flayer’s interpretive ritual ceremonies.

VECNA:

And now he’s just floor soup.

[Creepy ambient transition music]

DEMODOG:

So let’s talk suspects. Who would want Slobberguts dead?

Besides everyone who’s ever smelled him?

VECNA:

Suspect one: The Tentacle Union. They’ve been angry ever since Slobberguts skipped their mandated slime sacrifices.

DEMODOG:

Suspect two: The Flayed Karen. She’s been organizing a protest ever since Slobberguts tried to “date” her possessed son’s hive mind.

VECNA:

Suspect three: Me. I mean, I do kill a lot of things. It’s sort of my brand.

DEMODOG:

No offense, but you’re more of a melting minds while monologuing kind of killer. Slobberguts got blunt force pancaked. This was messy. Like… “accidental Demodog pounce during zoomies” messy.

VECNA (quietly):

I told you, use a leash.

DEMODOG (defensive):

It was a FULL MOON and someone played a Kate Bush remix. I blacked out.

VECNA:

Let’s get to the autopsy.

DEMODOG:

Right. According to the goo technician, Slobberguts suffered—

[rustling of wet paper, something oozes]

—blunt trauma, internal slime rupture, and one single stab wound… from a cursed toothbrush?

VECNA (deadpan):

You can’t make this up.

DEMODOG:

I mean, you could, but only if you were in a writers’ room with cocaine and no supervision.

[Interlude: Upside Down Crime Hotline Jingle]

CALLER VOICEMAIL (scratchy audio):

Hi, long-time listener, first-time screamer. Just wanna say… I saw the Shadow Bat gang hanging out near the scene. One of them had glitter on its claws. Slobberguts HATED glitter. Coincidence? I think NOT.

VECNA:

…Glitter. The herpes of craft supplies. This goes deeper than we thought.

DEMODOG:

You know what this means.

VECNA:

We’re gonna have to go… to the Upside Down High School Reunion.

DEMODOG:

God. Not the Hive Prom again. Last time the Demogorgon spiked the punch with blood and I ate Principal Vines.

VECNA:

He was already half-rotted. You did them a favor.

⸻

[Closing Music – haunted synths mixed with faint screams]

VECNA:

Next week, we confront the bat with the glitter claws… and possibly summon the Ghost of Barb just for drama.

DEMODOG:

And I test whether human AirPods taste better with or without earwax. For science.

VECNA:

Until then… trust no one. Love no one. Float a little.

DEMODOG (cheerfully):

And always check behind you! It’s the Upside Down, babe. Murder is a lifestyle.

BOTH:

Stay cursed, folks.

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Ayala , Makati • Philippines

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Konoha Team 8

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Sunflower Frankie, Daisy Poppy, Sweet Pea Gigi

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There’s not a man alive who can tell me what to do.

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I got summoned to the HR office today

Apparently,they have been receiving some concerns regarding my attitude

Conversation went like this

HR: Hi How are you ?

Me: I’m good , just minding my business

Hr: that’s nice , we just wanted to check on you and see how things are here , is everything okay or something bothering you?

Me: No, I don’t think so , I’m all good

HR: Coz we have been receiving some concerns that You are so distant and unsociable,somehow it makes some people uncomfortable

Me: Oh! I see, I think these people are the ones that invite me to go on Parties after work , I can be social here while on duty but I cannot go and hangout after work ,people drains me.

HR: Maybe you need to get in touch more of your inner child

Me : Thinking of my Inner Child

My Inner Child:

Like do you want me to Heal? Or to Rage?

[chrispuhsalow]

In a world full of Labubus and Hironos

My heart goes to Peach Riot

It reminds me of the Scott Pilgrim show.

[chrispuhsalow]

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I’ve been healing my inner child lately

It has been so long since I played with toys and not mobile or console games, my nephew helped me to get the shots of my eeveelution collection.

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Woke up today and had a sad realization

In my age it’s so hard to have a romantic relationship with someone , I’ve tried to date couple of times, it’s either the person is not emotionally available and just want to f*ck, or they are not attracted to me physically and won’t get a 2nd date , worst case I need to pay someone just to feel caressed and cuddled .

Im envious with people who gets to experience romance.