chromegnomes

[chromegnomes]

In cyberwigan, it's a perfect simulacrum of gravy.

[chromegnomes]

Life sim set in a fantasy small town whose economy has gone to shit because it's one of those open world console RPG settings that got retooled to be more fast-travel-centric a couple patches back and the town is located in one of those kinda fillery bits of countryside that everybody skips over these days.

[chromegnomes]

worst fear is that i write something from the heart and it gets mocked as #tumblrprose . second worst fear is big big big big ant colony conspiring to kill me to death

[chromegnomes]

woah dude you hit your head pretty hard. 2025? president donald trump? "labubu"? haha no clue what youre talking about dude its roughly 1pm august 8th 2004 and we're about to take a chicago boat tour and i heard dave matthews band is in town and

[chromegnomes]

Do you not see why people believe astrology tho??

so i'm a custodian.

whenever someone does something cool like shit on the bathroom floor or get blood all over a toilet, i have to close the bathroom down by blocking the doorway with a CLOSED sign.

this sign is big and bright. it says CLOSED in four languages and has a do not enter symbol. it completely blocks the doorway. the only way to enter is to look directly at the sign and either move it or climb over it.

almost every single time i shut down a bathroom so i can suit up and clean a biohazard, someone will enter the bathroom with a dead-eyed, slack-jawed expression and try to wordlessly walk past me to use a stall.

and every single time, i have to block their path and say, "this bathroom is closed. there is one directly down the hall, marked by signs. please leave," and they either try to argue that THEY specifically should be allowed to use this one, as if they are god's most special little guy, or express shock even though they, again, had to contend with the CLOSED sign to enter.

often, i am standing there in the middle of cleaning up bodily fluids having to firmly repeat myself. they always leave angry or confused.

anyways, you clicked this button to send me an ask about astrology:

[chromegnomes]

[chromegnomes]

>be me >gentle irishman, mighty odd >love the liquor >have a drop of the craythur every morn to help get through work >feel rather foul one morning >shaking, head heavy >fall from ladder and break skull >YOUDIED.png >get carried in a nice clean sheet to the wake >laid out on bed >bottle of whiskey at feet, barrel of porter at head >mourners getting plastered on brandy punch >fight breaks out. full civil war >woman to woman and man to man. shillelagh law in effect >someone spills barrel of whiskey on corpse >get up and yell "thunderin' Jesus, do you think I'm dead?"

[chromegnomes]

SO glad that when I wake up tomorrow the sudden urge to read Finnegans Wake will have passed like a bad dream and I'll never have to think about it again

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[chromegnomes]

Speef is real to me. I'm sorry for that.

[chromegnomes]

i just can't convey the frustration and sorrow that it's been to grow up at first without the internet and then watching it bloom into this useful, fun, connecting force you sometimes spent time on, only for it to degrade into this constant oppressive waste of time and energy where people are constantly pumping out algorithmically designed content for max algorithmic appeal and even the most simple search generates either no results or an infinite abyss of ai generated slop none of which is usable or correct. we briefly had a library of alexandria and then fed it into a paper shredder so advertisers could sell a random mash of pulp back to us at a premium.

[chromegnomes]

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

[chromegnomes]

what is it with tiktok tradwives and the worst cooking known to mankind? like where in the bible does it say that it's a cardinal sin to season your food?

[chromegnomes]

People actually do post like this on bluesky it rules

[chromegnomes]

“it’s circus work.” not to me. not if it’s my monkeys.

[chromegnomes]

well the eagle eats my liver every day around 3pm, but otherwise i can meet when it best suits your schedule!

[chromegnomes]

why did i think it was a good idea to make one of the characters a mathematician

i made up her up so she can only really know as much math as i know