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chronically-angelic-transripts · 7 years ago

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Template of Oct 5-7: More Side Effects and Frustration

So I'm just trying to sleep.

It is...

Why did I put so many things in front of my alarm clock?

It is 12:47 and I'm having a little hard time breathing.

I haven't had to use my rescue inhaler in months and I had I had just taken, about 30 minutes ago,

my maintenance inhaler, my steroid inhaler, my breathing treatment. (All names for the same thing)

And then I had to take my rescue inhaler.

I just took a second antihistamine which I wasn't planning on doing until I talk to

my allergist about all of this but I don't want to wake up like in the middle

of the night in anaphylactic shock if this is continuing to get worse.

I'm pretty sure that wouldn't happen but just like the idea of it is really scary

It's getting really hard to breathe.

I took my melatonin.

So I'm really hoping that kicks in soon so I can just go to sleep.

But yeah.

So this is gonna be fun.

Alright.

It is now the morning.

I ended up sleeping in the recliner last night just to

kind of help with the breathing issue.

But then when my siblings came through to go to school I went ahead and switched

over to my bed 'cause it's really hard to sleep sitting up for me.

Well it'd not that hard but like is really difficult to get back to sleep in the first place

when you're woken up and it's like not being my own bed didn't help.

I'm just eating my breakfast.

Waiting for my computer the finish loading up so I can do work.

That's where I'm at.

I just went back and tried to do the captions for my day in the life video I realized its

editing it was kind of horrible.

I don't know how like just because there were so

many files like it was really confusing.

Once I finished editing it like I just didn't go back.

What I had started doing with the vlog that I'm uploading today

is that I exported it and then I re-edited it just to cut out like what I

needed to cut out and for some reason there was like a giant black screen in

the middle of my two scenes 'cause I just used the... no I'm not gonna ramble on about it.

Anyway I'm gonna go ahead and I'll fix that and reupload it.

I can upload it with the captions this time.

I didn't know I missed all that stuff like some of the clips weren't even

muted I don't know maybe one of the edits...

I don't know. I don't know but it was bad

and I'm gonna fix it.

So yes.

I guess I was just in a rush.

So apparently there was,

in the middle of this day in the life video, blank screen and then a clip that

wasn't even supposed to be there I don't know how that happened.

I fixed it the video was 9 minutes long it's now only 5 minutes long.

Let's try this again shall we.

Welcome back to the darkness.

I have such a bad headache.

I really didn't want to lay down because it's only 1 o'clock my semi was getting

home around 3:30.

So I still have time to work but my head is so bad.

I can work through it almost any symptoms but a headache when a

headache gets really bad I can't do it.

I'm gonna have to take some Aleeve.

I don't like taking stuff for my pain because I feel like it could hurt my

kidneys in the future I already have enough problems but when I get to a

point where I can't work through something, I have to take something.

I'm just goig to lay down and wait for the meds to kick in a little bit more.

There's no telling if this headache is related at all to the

allergy stuff but I'm sure it's not helping. My body seems to be under

a lot of stress.

That's where I'm at.

Talk to you later.

It is now 3 p.m.

My headache still has not gone away.

It has gotten a little better so that's good.

I'm just really annoyed like

I can't...

if the allergy pill is...

If the allergy shots continue to cause this

I don't know that I'm gonna be able to continue treatment and I don't know

that if it is causing symptoms like this that it's actually even doing anything

because I would figure it it's Friday I got the shot on Monday.

I figure if it's supposed to be training my immune system to fight at all my mean system was

basically not done that yet so I don't know, again, I don't know if we're gonna

have to dilute or stop altogether or whatever. I called my allergist today.

They didn't pick up so I left a message. I'm thinking about calling them again like

right now but I think they might not be open on Fridays. I can't remember.

Yeah.

Alright.

Talk to you later.

Everybody I actually did get

the week's vlog up which I was worried about but pretty much had all

the work done on the editing.

So I just had to upload it so when I did

that when I was already up for going to the restroom and yes so that's up.

I really wanted to get the captions done today but I have a headache and my

siblings just got home and kicked me off the computer.

So yeah talk to you later.

Dinner time!

I haven't eaten anything since breakfast and I barely had

anything for breakfast.

So it's Friday. Pizza day. We have pizza pretty much

every Friday.

My mom's homemade pizza.

These are bread sticks. That's the pizza.

And in our family we like really thick crust.

This one turned out a little thin this time round but it's still good.

So question for you:

Do you like thin or thick crust pizza?

Comment.

Hello.

I am now lying down while I eat

because I'm getting really nauseous.

I'm actually getting like to the point where

it feels like I'm actually gonna throw up and if you get a lot of nausea,

you know there's a difference between just feeling nausous

and feeling like you're going to throw up.

Anyway, a lot of times whenever I feel like this,

it's because there's a lot of air in my stomach and for some reason I

just can't burp. So I'm lying down on my left side because that helps facilitate

burping and it does... I am feeling a little better but...

I haven't actually thrown up in months,

like maybe even a year.

But I still get nauseous all the time

so I still have to keep up a bucket just in case because I'd rather have one

and not need it you know what I mean.

So yeah. I might not even use this clip

but there we go.

I'm mad.

So I write captions for another vlogger here on YouTube. I had captioned five

minutes into the video but YouTube told me it saved the draft.

It did not and now I have to do all of that work all over again and I'm mad about it.

I can't do much about it.

But ranting helps a little bit and

then I can just buckle down and do it.

10 minutes down, 40 minutes to go which I

kind of split these minutes up so by the time she gets her next video up,

this should be done.

So I am editing my last vlog,

and I'm realizing something about myself.

I talk with timing like comedians do right before they get their punchline

but I don't have any punchlines so it's just weird long awkward pauses

for no reason and it's annoying me because I can hear myself doing it now

but maybe it has something to do with just like processing like letting the

other person process what I just said.

Maybe it's just lag time before my next sentence

which is interesting to think about

See I think it might just be the lag time thing but it's also like

dramatic timing I guess but there's no drama like it's just me talking to a

camera with dramatic timing for no reason.

I don't understand what's happening!

Although I do have an oatmeal cream pie.

Okay so I was planning to go to bed like right after I finished working on my

friends captions but then I got distracted by editing the stuff that I

had just found about the captions and then I decided to go ahead and start

working on the captions for my last vlog.

So it's now one in the morning but my last vlogs captions are half of the way done

So I feel accomplished.

Alright, so yeah that's where I'm at right now.

See you tomorrow slash today?

I don't know anymore.

See you in the morning.

There we go there we go I found

Afternoon lovely people.

So I had been working on the sock I was working on

and I wasn't really following a pattern because I couldn't because

this certain yarn is... I'm using a gauge that I'm not supposed to technically be

using at all with it but whatever.

I went ahead and found a pattern I had to

unravel all that work I did already and the pattern I have know is like a

very simple pattern but I'm having to multiply the number of stitches by like

1.3 to make it big enough for me personally because it's supposed to be

like a women's medium.

I am not a medium.

So yeah I'm just re-working on that now but this seems to be going a lot

faster and I'm not gonna be able to tell whether it's too big or small

until I work on it for a while and then try to slide it on but what I did it

before it seemed like it was the right size and then as I kept going it got larger.

So like I won't know until I get like way down which is really annoying but I

I found this new great app so I don't have to take notes on my freaking arm anymore.

So this is...

by the way totally unsponsored because I get like 10 views on every video who the heck would sponsor me

It's "My Row Counter"

and it's so cool.

So that's what I'm doing right now is I'm working on this

and I'm watching youtube.

I just had a My Chronic Connection meeting and

I should probably do a video all about that too but yeah I'll talk about that more later.

So because I had to unravel the thing my yarn ended up being tangled.

I had to take the whole thing out of a ball and and now looks like this

I will update later because I am going to get all of it untangled. It's going to be fine.

Right now it looks like this. So yeah.

Through the magic of video

this becomes

this *gasp*.

Good morning!

It is a little past 11:00 a.m.

I didn't end up going to sleep until like 3:30.

because my stomach was being really weird.

I actually threw up. Which was fun.

But now it's morning.

My sister brought me my donuts

because we have donuts pretty much every Saturday but

we didn't have them yesterday so we're having them today.

I'm making sure to tell you that we have them all the time because they normally don't mess with my stomach.

My stomach issues really are like whatever.

Like it doesn't matter what I eat at this point and so I may as well eat things that taste good.

Finished the cuff on my socks!

Now I'm gonna go take a shower.

It [the shower] is complete.

And now I'm gonna go watch some TV with my parents.

So yes.

So.

I love pink lemonade.

It's a problem

because I have acid reflux.

I had a jumbo mug and a half pink lemonade.

And now my stomach wants to kill me.

It comes in waves.

But uh...

Send good vibes.

So it is now actually technically Monday

cause it is one a.m.

But I never filmed an outro so.

I actually took a nap and woke up at midnight.

I went to bed at nine

and I woke up at midnight

because that's just how my life works these days.

But it's okay because I got to work a little bit.

And tomorrow's going to be really busy.

I have to go get my allergy shot and then I have a therapy appointment.

And my siblings aren't even going to school tomorrow because they have the day off.

For student teacher conferences or something?

*parent teacher confrences

I'm wearing my retainer for once.

So I sound a little weird.

So I won't be able to get as much work done as I normally get done on Mondays.

I'm hoping I'll still be able to get everything done but

it's just going to be a little bit of a time crunch.

*click*

Ow!

I just popped my ankle.

Could you hear that?

Anyway.

What am I trying to say right now?

So.

Yeah you'll see my day tomorrow on Friday actually.

I'm probably going to get the editing for this video done.

And see if I get it up tomorrow night and I'm probably gonna have to save the captions again.

And just do them like a little bit at a time.

Seems to be the way I've been doing it like...

Captions won't come out with the video but they'll be out before the next video.

It's kind of dissapointing but...

I'd rather publish something then I have that step separate but I can still work on it.

But I don't just want to like... give up on that.

Alright so you can hit any buttons,

type anything, click on any links in the description.

And yeah. That's all.

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chronically-angelic-transripts · 7 years ago

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Transcript of Sep 29-Oct 4 Homecoming and Allergy Shots

Hello beautiful internet people!

It is actually Saturday. I was supposed to start vlogging on Monday.

I decided to start vlogging on Saturday today because I actually have a thing to do today.

*gasp*

Today I'm just eating literal junk.

My homecoming is actually tonight.

*sigh*

I feel like I should go just because it's my senior year, like almost out of obligation but like...

I never see anybody. I don't really have any... I mean I kind of do have friends there. I mean I'm sure there's some people who will be there who I can talk to but just like... *conflicted sigh*

And I know for a fact they only have junk food there also so I'm gonna- I'm gonna hate myself tomorrow but indulge today crap tomorrow I guess.

And I just have...

I don't know. I just don't feel like dealing with food today.

So...

Talk to you later.

So I'm still like, "Ugh, I don't really know if I want to go to the homecoming." But I got dressed. I put on some makeup.

I don't know why but I just prefer like sparkly lip gloss but like no lipstick and then just like mascara. I wear makeup like a five year old don't judge me.

So yeah. That's where I'm at right now.

I do have a couple of friends who said they are going so at least there's that.

*Sharp exhale*

Oh and I'm going to wear this necklace that I got on vacation. Yup.

I just keep saying, "yep" over and over again because that's like the only thing I got so.

yep

*Clicks tongue*

Yep yep.

Okay I'm gonna go before I...I I don't even know.

Hello everybody!

I'm just sitting here watching a friend's music stream until it's time to go.

Yeah.

Got this necklace. I don't know if I've showed you yet.

I'm gonna try to chill out a little bit before I have to go

Hey everyone. Sorry you can't see me. It's kinda dark in here at the moment.

I just got home from the homecoming dance. It was boring interspersed with intervals of kinda fun.

I don't regret going.

So there's that.

I am really tired though but I kind of

want to work on editing stuff so...

I don't know. We'll see.

I just need to lie here for a couple minutes though.

Hello beauties.

It is now sssssss-sunday?

Sunday.

I'm sorry for the noise.

I survived.

Yeah that's all I have to say.

I watched Deadpool 2 last night before I went to homecoming actually.

And then I just watched Solo today.

It's a good day for movie watching.

Well then the night before that, Friday night

I watched Oceans eitch- Oceans 8.

Hello beauties!

So that clip where I was talking about the movies that I watched,

the camera died

and uh

Than I forgot all about the fact that I had filmed it and so now I'm editing this vlog and I

just realized, "Oh there was no follow-up"

So yeah this is the follow up. It died.

That's why I seemingly just stopped talking.

Yeah but all those movies were really really good so you can watch them.

I'm not gonna rank them but I have a ranking.

Oceans 8 was so good.

And by the way,

any woman coming out of that movie saying

she's 100 percent straight

is a liar.

*laughs because I think I'm funny*

I also just released the I'm back video even though it's supposed to go up

tomorrow technically but I was done with it so I figured why not.

It's almost tomorrow.

Let me go ahead and update you on my stuff with my allergist.

So I think about

like two or three weeks ago I went and had an allergy test done and I was

allergic to like all but three things.

So now I'm gonna be getting allergy shots

which are basically just

vaccine type things for allergens.

They introduce a little bit of it to you so that way your immune system

knows better how to fight it in the future.

So I got the call like probably like a week ago

and they left a message.

I just hate

getting messaged.

Like I hate checking my voicemail. I don't know why.

Like...

I just like...

I can-I can talk on the phone I can talk on the phone fine but I suck at checking my messages.

I hate it. I don't-I don't like it I don't know why.

But I also never like just never catch it when the phone is ringing.

So like I have to do one and I can never do either.

it doesn't work.

*loud mechanical whirring*

I'll get better at it at some point.

I'm so sorry for the noise. My computer is so loud.

So yes.

I'll be getting allergy shots.

I got the call that my serum is in.

So I may or may not be going for my first shot tomorrow,

which is cool because I was supposed to start vlogging tomorrow and I was like,

"I won't have anything to vlog" but

now I do.

So that'll be fun.

Or- noit won't I'm getting a shot.

What?

I mean it won't not be fun.

This is just the stuff that happens in my life.

Okay.

[To self] Stop talking!

I have gotten pretty...

okay I'm gonna stop talking.

Um. Yeah I think that's...

All I've got to say without just rambling on about random topics.

So yeah. I'm just gonna gooooo.

Good morning, everybody.

It is Monday morning and I have to film stuff because my siblings are out of the house

and I'm supposed to upload on Wednesday and I have to go tomorrow and Wednesday.

So pretty much I'm going to try to finish this video today.

The back to- er the day in the life video.

So yeah that's what I'm doing.

And I haven't... I didn't wake up until like 11 so I don't have a lot of time to do it in.

I'm like... 😬

But uh...

Yup.

That's what I'm gonna be doin'

Okay so I've done most of the filming.

Most of the filming it's done.

Most of it.

I'm gonna edit a little bit.

Yep.

I'm gonna say, I have been putting this shirt on and off so I can film in it it,

it's starting to smell

Fun little behind the scenes thing: So in like a bunch of different clips I'm brushing my teeth.

So I just have brushed my teeth once and then I'm gonna cut it different sections out of it.

But in one of them- in most of them, I wear this outfit.

In one of them I wear a different outfit.

So while I was in the middle of brushing my teeth,

I had to run and go get the other outfit out of my room 'cause I forgot about it

And like I actually ended up jamming the toothbrush like into my soft palate while I was trying to

change my shirt.

I am dressed.

That's a tripod.

So I am gonna be getting my first allergy shot today.

My mom is on her way home.

She should be here like any minute now

'cause she had an appointment somewhere else and now we have to go an hour away,

and get an allergy shot an hour away, for the first of many weeks.

So yeah.

That's what's happening.

I apologize again from my computer.

It's so loud.

When I try to get any work done, it throws a fit.

Hello beauties! It's 7:45 right now.

I haven't updated. I got home but childrens were home and I didn't go

back to my room because we were watching stuff,

So I'll quickly update you on the happenings today.

First, we went to get my allergy shots.

And I didn't really have like an allergic reaction or anything but I got really nauseous.

I have no idea how much that has to do with the allergy shots

and how much that has to do with just me but like right after I got them,

I got really warm and I was sweating

and then I got really dizzy and I got really nauseous.

And the lady said none of that was because of the shots but I'm not sure.

But my stomach has been weird today ever since then.

I don't know how much that has to do with, you know,

the shots or how much that has to do with just me,

but yeah.

In a little while I'm going to be go watching

another episode of a TV show that I've been watching with my parents,

that I don't remember the name of right now so I'm going to put up a clip here:

The show is called "Marvelous Mrs. Maisel".

It's actually made by the same people who made Gilmore Girls.

Which I didn't know when I first started watching it and then it got to the end credits and I was like *gasp*

After the shot, I've been wanting to get double pointed knitting needles forever because I really want to

work on making socks.

But I never had double pointed knitting needles.

So yeah, I'm working on this right now.

And I got this really cool yarn, or I really like it anyway, that kind of resembles jeans

like it's supposed to...

It's a Lion... not sponsored by the way, just *laughs*

It's a Lion Brand Yarns. It's their Jeans?

I don't know is this like a line?

but there were different types and shades and stuff.

Also got prescriptions.

We get prescriptions like every week I have a new prescription bag.

And I also got a cookie.

Oatmeal-raisin cookies are amazing don't at me.

Hello. It's about 12:30 and my mom's about to come pick me up from school. There she is.

'Cause my stomach feels like crap.

It's 2 o'clock now.

Sorry I haven't updated in a little while but there's not much to update on.

I am still not sure whether or not my stomach symptoms are

connected to the allergy shots,

but

I have found a few things indicating like

that it could be even though the lady said any stomach symptoms would just be a coincidence

and I seem to be having an...

Like I got I got hives on my legs that

are seemingly from a separate allergen so I think maybe my stomach issues are just

an allergic reaction to something and my tolerance for allergic reactions is

lowered because of the shot and it's not necessarily caused by the shot itself,

it could just be my stomach being weird all of the sudden for no reason because

that's a thing it does sometimes,

but at the same time, this is the first time I've been taken out of school for it.

So I don't know.

I'm probably just gonna have to wait until next week to figure out if the shots and the issues are connected

Which sucks but yeah.

Hello everyone,

I changed my bedding.

It's so pretty.

Normally this would not be a problem at all, it'd be the opposite of problem.

Guess what I was in the middle of filming?

A day in the life video.

So I just put my comforter back over like the entire thing and my pillow and then I just

left it there and then I filmed what I needed to film.

Am I the only one who keeps notes for a whatever craft project they're working on on their arm?

Because I'm keeping track of my rows of knitting on my arm.

I am now working on my fourteenth row.

Well right now I'm working on my knitting and watching the Frey Life,

which I'm sure you already know about if you found me. *laughs*

My like...

My throat is hurting and my lung kinda hurt.

Like, part of me is wondering if I just have a cold,

but I also have hives on my legs like...

I don't know.

I don't know if this stuff is gonna be a problem, I don't know if this is just stuff I'm gonna

have to put up with, if I can just get more antihistamines and it'll be fine,

or if this will get increasingly worse with more and more doses of the allergy serum,

or...

I don't even know

So yeah this is fun.

Uncertainty is fun.

You know what's even better?

Knowing that this is likely the cause but I won't be able to prove it

until I get my second shot and I have to do all of this again and I don't even

know if it's gonna be worse next time.

Yeah.

That's fun.

I'm just gonna...

I'm just gonna get back to what I was doing.

Okay!

Video is up.

Captions are not yet up because I was

scrambled a little bit for the video.

My future Wednesday videos won't be like that

because most of them are just sit down those are so much easier for me.

The captions for the Day In The Life video will be out before this vlog is up even so...

Welcome back to it being very dark because my camera is weird.

You know that feeling when you get home from a long day and then you immediately just

like melt into your bed?

Yeah.

I've become one with the bed

*I still think I'm funny and laugh at my own bad jokes that aren't even jokes*

I'm really tired I'm probably gonna take a nap soon.

It's almost 4:30. So I got home a little while ago.

The hives got bigger!

They got bigger.

I'm honestly thinking about

calling my allergist and being like,

"Hey so what's up with this sooooooooo

what's up with this?"

'Cause I don't know.

Should I just take more antihistamines? Will that negate the serum?

Will that make it not even be useful?

I don't know.

Should we dilute the serum?

Should we stop the serum?

Is this totally unrelated?

I have no idea.

It's annoying.

*sigh*

All right. I'm just gonna go.

*sing song voice* Hi!

So this may or may not be the last clip of the vlog.

It is 10:00 p.m. on Thursday and that's the day that I'm supposed to end the vlog so.

Yeaaaaaaah

If you want to subscribe, like, comment whatever.

I'm sure you know how to do all of that.

That's all down below.

Talk to you later,

next time,

Monday.

Talk to you Monday.

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chronically-angelic-transripts · 7 years ago

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Transcript for Day In The Life

Hello beautiful internet people!

So normally I would film in front of that wall that I was filming in my last video but I just hadn't got around to it and now the video is supposed to go up tomorrow and this is the only quiet time so I'm just gonna film the intro now.

This video is gonna be a day in my life video.

At the moment, my life, I can split it basically up into two days-two types of days, school days and break days.

So I'm going to give you a day in the life of both of those types of days.

Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays I go to school and then the rest of the days I stay home.

In this video I'm showing you what it's like on the days when I'm home and my siblings aren't but basically if I am home when my siblings are it's basically like my evenings but just all day so there's that.

Under the assumption then I don't have anything special going on that day,this is how my days are.

I do have bloopers, so make sure you stay until the end.

Let's start with school days.

My alarm first goes off at 6 a.m.

[beep beep beep]

I snooze for about 40 minutes.

[beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep]

Okay, that's enough of that.

I normally check my notifications quickly before getting up.

Pills and inhalers and nasal spray oh my.

Time to get dressed.

No. You have to take the nightgown off before putting on the shirt.

There we go.

♬Brush your teeth. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch♬

Did anyone else have that song growing up?

Public transport saves the planet everyone, riding the bus.

It's a school bus but still.

Whew! I made it!

Now comes the actual hard part.

At least I get to eat first though.

And now we work.

And now eat because bodies need constant sustenance.

And now more working and now I have a blanket because it's freezing cold.

And now lying on the bathroom floor because, you know, back pain.

And more wooooooooooooooork.

And now lip syncing with headphones on because I caught myself

doing it for the hundredth time and decided it needed in the video.

So now I've added a layer of filming on top of it so like...

I hope you're enjoying this video because otherwise I reached a whole new level of weird for no reason.

Can you guess what song I'm lip-syncing?

Now going hooooome!

Yay I'm home!

Aaaaand immediately changing clothes and getting into bed.

Poppin pills.

Now I'm just watching videos until the sleep comes.

There it is.

Woke up from a nap?

Burritos.

Chilling again.

Now get to edit stuff

until the sleep decides to return.

♬Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch♬

Poppin more pills. And huffing and snorting stuff too apparently.

Ah sleep.

Nope that's just insomnia and fatigue contradicting each other.

Okay welp, melatonin to the rescue!

Sometimes.

Okay finally sleeping.

Okay now break days.

On days when I don't have to wake up early I wake up kind of late.

I check my notifications drag myself out of bed and then it's breakfast time.

I make myself some breakfast and eat it while catching up on YouTube.

Can't forget to take my meds

After breakfast I have to work on editing vlogs, writing captions, or whatever else I need to get done.

I do that pretty much until lunch and then eat lunch I take my afternoon pill the same way as at breakfast.

And continue working until my siblings get home from school.

The rest of my day goes pretty much the same way as my school day afternoons so, I won't bore you.

Bloopers!

ah yes the live footage of me realizing that I have bit both ends off of my burrito.

I have no idea if anyone else will find this as funny as I do but there it is.

Ah and the all-too-familiar feeling of "Ah this burrito is too hot" dragon breathing.

[Puts pill bottle on the desk and it immediately falls to the floor]

Are you freaking kidding me?

0 notes

chronically-angelic-transripts · 7 years ago

Text

Transcript for: I’m Back!

Hello beautiful Internet people!

I've been wanting to get back into my youtube channel for a while but it was summer and my schedule was kind of all over the place. So I think I can finally do it.

I really liked the idea of vlogging but I never remembered to film anything so like the past couple of weeks I've just been filming like vlog style for pretty much no reason except to get my mind into the headspace that you need for vlogging. Just like remembering to pull out the camera when stuff happens.

The schedule I was on before I made editing like a little hard to do but I now have Mondays and Fridays off of school and my siblings are in school so that allows me to edit and publish anddo subtitles and all that stuff without distractions and to make sure everything's okay.

I also want to say that I will continue to keep my videos as accessible as I can. I used to make a whole separate video with audio descriptions but I think now I'm just going to be a little more, seemingly to sighted people, obvious about what's happening on the screen but that's just to sort of help anyone who's vision impaired to understand what's happening. As well as that, all videos will be captioned and there will be a transcript to the entire video in the description. S

o the way I'm hoping for this to go is on Wednesday I'm going - hopefully on Wednesday I don't know. It might come out a little late but I think I'm on track for a Wednesday. It might come out a little late but I think I'm on track for Wednesday so on Wednesday I'm gonna release a "Day in the Life" video and that'll kind of jumpstart my vlogging and then on Friday I will upload a vlog that is from today through Thursday and I'll upload it on Friday and then um I'm gonna have a vlog uploaded on Monday that's going to be from Friday to Sunday and so that will be my upload schedule.

I also want to start doing sit-down scripted videos a little bit like this not all of my sit-down videos will be about chronic illness but some will be,especially since that's something that I like to think about and just like philosophize. . . philosophize?

just think about and come up with metaphors and stuff for it um so a lot of it will be chronic illness related but it'll also just be like anything that interests me.

My first sit down video has already been filmed it it's gonna be called "What Fatigue Fighters Want You to Know" I'm not sure about that video yet though. It's not the best quality but I don't want to give up on something just because I'm not that good at it. I mean if I like doing it, if I'm bad at it who cares you know but like you don't have to watch if you don't want to but if you enjoy my attempts then you can watch it too. I know I will improve.

There's a reason you know it was that craze is where people are like, "Watch me watch my old youtube videos"it's because they got better because they kept going to summarize all of this, I'm back!

You can hit all of the buttons, I'm sure you know how that works by now. You can comment if you want to. If you want to give me an idea for a sit down video that would be super cool. That's all for now and I'll be back again soon. Bye.

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chronically-angelic-transripts · 7 years ago

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Transcript for “Fatigue Chic Episode 2: Walker Bag for Styna Lane”

All narration that was exclusively in the audio descriped version of the video is enclosed within two astrixes.

This is an audio described video.

Fatigue Chic: Crafting with a Spoonie. Episode 2

Walker bag for another chronic illness Youtuber, Styna Lane.

Hey guys!

I've been trying to put music in but

for one thing that's not always totally accessible to some people and for

another thing I recently remembered I was watching these

videos that didn't have background music and it was great because I could put my

own background music on in the background.

So there are gonna be parts of this video that are totally silent.

I encourage you to play your own music or don't if you prefer silence.

If you do want to play music,

I recommend the same album that I was listening to while editing this video

(though you will probably only get through a couple songs) which is, M A N I A

the new album by Fall Out Boy. I love it I've been listening to it on repeat all day.

Also the new EP by Panic! at Disco is good too.

Recommend!

Enjoy the video.

Hi guys!

Today I am showing you guys how I made this walker bag.

I made this Walker bag for a friend...

ish...

type person.

It's weird when you meet someone on the internet I don't know what to...

I...

she's my friend.

I had been watching her on YouTube for a while I jumped

on one of her Twitch streams and her Twitch streams are pretty small at the moment

so you kind of can get a little more personable and then she has a discord.

So we've been talking but it's weird when you make friends something internet

and you're not quite sure what friends are friends.

I'm gonna stop talking about this now.

*I hold up the bag I just made with the words “Sick, Tired, & Alone” embroidered on it.*

So she has a YouTube channel and that is

her YouTube channel name right there and I'll leave links to all her stuff down

below and then this over here

*I point to a little symbol of a skull and crossbones with spoons used as the crossbones below.*

is a little logo that she made for it.

She writes songs, she performed songs, she's an amazing singer.

*stops to clutch heart*

My heart.

So that’s that.

*I point to a heart looking thing made out of different musical symbols that I'm not going to try to say the names of because I don't know them.*

She also writes poetry and she has a recording

of herself reciting one of her poems on her channel.

This over here is

*I bring the embroidered words “#CripplePunk” closer to the camera.*

CripplePunk.

Then this right here in the middle says,

*I bring a red heart that has the words “Netflix and ill” in it closer to the camera.*

"Netflix and ill"

Then over here we have

I bring the embroidered words “Chronically Awesome” closer to the screen.

"Chronically awesome"

I'm just gonna show you some like features.

Which is just stuff that I

added that I was like, "Hmm I feel like in my life that would be useful so I'm

gonna add it"

This is a little pocket type thing.

I used this clear plastic stuff.

I have no idea where this came from I just found it.

I have no idea how to get more.

So that's it unless one of you guys tells me where the heck it came from.

Anyway so then there's this like

clear pocket so you can put a note in there and then be able to read

it because you can see it from the walker bag.

You can attach a sticky note to it, or you can also write in dry erase

marker right on the plastic, or fun fact you could also write in permanent marker

and then if you have a dry erase marker and you color over the permanent marker.

I'd demonstrate but I don't know where my permanent marker went right now.

If you color over the permanent marker mark, on plastic specifically, with a dry erase

marker you can just wipe it off. Fun fact.

Then I have this little button

which closes the whole thing but it's not really a button, it's actually a keychain

but I thought it was cute

*I hold up a keychain that is a heart with glittering gold sparkles inside of it.*

and it doesn't have to be completely functional.

Then I sewed a little keychain ring on the inside here because if you have a

carabiner clip, I have one around here somewhere but I'm just...

So you can either put your keys on here or if you

have one of those hand sanitizer bottles with a carabiner clip you can clip that

on there and have that. You could put both on and then it would just be like right

inside the bag for you.

This is the thing that I really thought was really

cool that I did is this cell phone pocket which I really really hope is big

enough to fit her cell phone.

I made this little button hole type thing

off to the side here. You can barely notice it if you're not looking.

What you can do is stick your headphones inside this little button

hole and then I have a little hole right here in the side of that.

Then you can just stick it in there,

stick it inside the headphone port,

and you're good to go!

I'm gonna go ahead and put this on my walker

so I can kind of show it in action.

I actually made it a little bit too skinny like right on the end here so you

can't get that on the foam.

Styna, if you're watching, which I will be referring

you to this video as like a user manual, you will only be able to get it on on

this side first and then once it's on lit can only go so far.

But it works.

It's fine.

Please ignore that over there I was cleaning my room today.

This is what it looks like on the walker.

It's pretty straightforward.

I'll turn it around for you guys.

You can actually barely tell that the hole is there if you're not looking for it.

So it's really low profile.

I'm thinking of selling some of my

stuff so I'm kind of showcasing it as it were. If you want something

like this and I can make it like totally customizable so if you want something

all of my social media links are in the description and you can just contact me.

I'm going to play you the footage that I have. Some may have gotten lost because...

I'm bad at technology

I was having some technical difficulties or

because I didn't film like all of the putting the lettering on because that

was just a lot of repetition. So yeah!

*An abrupt cut to Angela doing stuff with cloth.*

Yay for narration!

Here I'm just measuring out like a little hanger

curtain rod thing to put the backrest into and I'm just sewing that up.

So that I can hang the bag off the walker.

*An abrupt cut to Angela doing stuff with cloth.*

For the "Sick, Tired, and Alone" lettering I took this straight off of her channel.

I just traced it

I'm it cutting out of the paper and then pinning it to cloth

and cutting it out of the cloth.

*So that was the main narration, it pretty much got everything*

*Please, please, please leave me comments on my audio description because also this is sped up so there's not much I can do.*

*Anyway I'm using an embroidery hoop and I'm putting on the letters and sewing them on*

*Here I'm just sewing the patterns on*

This is the creation of the other stencils.

We had "Cripple Punk",

"Netflix and ill",

and "chronically awesome".

Here they are again as the actual stencils.

What I just did make it is I just pinned that to the cloth and then

stitched over top of the stencil and followed the lines.

Now I'm starting to paint up the sides because all the decoration is done

and now it's time to actually turn it into a bag instead of just a giant piece

of cloth with its own decorations

*I pinned it up and then folded it up and now I'm about to use a sewing machine to sew up the sides.*

*But then I realized I made a mistake and I had to readjust things so yay for redoing everything we just did.*

*Now I'm actually using the song machine.*

*Now I'm readjusting again and removing all the stitches that I did before for the backrest hanger bar situation and pinning that and deciding what to do with that.*

*Now I'm using the sewing machine to sew that up and then I'm testing it on the backrest and it works and now...I have no idea what I'm doing I'm using so much to get him again for some reason or... I don't remember I'm sorry I apparently did a lot of adjusting before I actually went to real with the sewing machine.*

*Oh! Now I'm putting the button on that's what I'm doing. No no no. I'm making the buttonhole that's what I'm doing*

*Oh while I was doing this I was watching one of Styna’s streams so every once in a while I stop to type something.*

*I apologize for the crappy audio descriptions.*

*I think I'll probably get better at it at some point but just it's confusing.*

So that is the video.

It took a few days.

But it's done.

Now I'm now I'm gonna do the sterotypical,

"if you liked this, subscribe, you can see all my links below"

I'm trying my very very best to keep this as accessible as possible, so there

will be a transcript in the description.

There will be on all subsequent videos as well and I will not release

the videos until I have the closed captions and transcriptions done.

I also now have some crowdfunding links and an Amazon wishlist if you have money

and you feel like doing things.

Like I said, also if you feel like ordering something.

Now I'm going to say goodbye.

Fin

I just had to come up with like a sign off so I think I think that's gonna be mine.

Goodbye. Fin.

I need to stop now.

Bye!

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chronically-angelic-transripts · 8 years ago

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ACIV: First Weeklong Vlog (Oct. 30- Nov. 2)

So my back hurts so bad right now. I'm pretty sure it's because of I was jumping up to deliver the Halloween candy. But also I just went to the bathroom and realized I also just started my period so that's fantastic. It is now 1 PM and I am just now having breakfast. I'm just having this energy bar. My back hurts so bad I'm just lying on this heating pad right now. But yeah. I still have to... I edited and uploaded the Halloween vlog ("Halloweekend" vlog) but I still have to do the captions for it and it's already 1. So I'm just catching up on all my subscriptions on YouTube that I missed out on watching over the weekend and then I'ma going to be working on the subtitles and then I'll get that published. So yeah. I had a therapy appointment this morning and I had to leave it early because my back just hurt so bad. I will talk to you later. Maybe. Ok believe it or not this is like 10 hours later. It looks almost exactly the same though. Ok anyway. I think I've decided on a new layout for the vlogs. I was thinking about doing this for a while but I hadn't done it. I was thinking about doing week long vlogs but those are like really long and almost nothing happens during the week then a bunch of stuff happens on the weekend so I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to do weekday vlogs and then weekend vlogs. Monday through Thursday is going to be one vlog and then Friday through Sunday is going to be one vlog. It just seems like a better idea to me. What do I know but I like that idea. I'll roll with it and see what happens. Guys...I made something amazing. Ok so I got these Hershey's mugs for Christmas last year and I put a chocolate mug cake in here and then I put homemade icing (but it's not that good it kind of just tastes like butter) and I put M&Ms on top and then I got hot chocolate and I wanted to share this with you guys because it looks amazing. Today I wore a temporary which tattoo to school. Also yesterday I put toothpaste on a pimple and I forgot to take it off this morning so I came to school with toothpaste on my eyebrow. It is Halloween day so happy Halloween everyone. It's also really really cold out here. The wind chill is like actual freezing temperature. My back is really like twinging today so I have my cane today. I'm just waiting for the bus to come again and I figured right now would be a good time to film. It's freaking cold man it's so cold I hate it when it's cold. I hate it when it's any type of extreme temperature I can't handle it. Like it's supposed to be fall weather so it shouldn't be that cold or that hot but nononononono *clicks tounge* We skip straight to winter this time. Alrighty. Ima go. Happy Thursday everyone. Wait no. It's Wednesday. Happy Wednesday everyone. I just got put of school here comes the bus. I feel like right now is the only time I'll remember to film so I'm filming. I don't really think I've got anything really planned for today so there's not much to film in the first place. OH I've been getting this really weird muscle cramp in my leg. It just kinda feels sharp but it's over a wide area and it just like...it goes there for like maybe two seconds and it hurts like really bad and then it just like...goes away. And it's really annoying and I don't know what it is. I think it might have something to do with the weather though because it snowed this morning. Alright I'm going to get on the bus. Talk to you later. Hey guys. So I think I might have strep throat. My sister has it and my throat really hurts and it's been hurting for a few days so. Yeah. I'm really tired and that's about the only update for you so. Alright. Alrighty just got out of school. The middle schoolers didn't have school today so there's no bus coming to the middle school to take us over to the high school so we got to walk over to the high school to get on the bus. So the teacher let us eave a little early. So yeah now I'm just walking. There's a guy over there. I don't want him to think I'm crazy. Even though I'm probably never even going to see him again. But still. I'm weird like that. I gotta pee. Probably going to have to wait till I get home. Alright that's bout all I have to say. Bye. Hello I forgot to sign off last night so it is Friday morning. Actually not morning but I only woke up like an hour ago. It's 1 PM. So I am going to sign off here but also I've been seeing a lot of reminders on my social media that Obamacare open enrollment started on the first and there have been a lot of reminders and the enrollment period is only six weeks so I wanted to just put out a little reminder even though I barely have any subscribers for people who needed a reminder and have not gotten one. Obamacare open enrollment has started and you should probably do that if you need to because the shortened time period. Alright peace. Okay so now it is well into Friday and it was supposed to just be a Thursday vlog but this is more just info not really anything to do with my vlogging type thing. So I put a poll up a couple of days ago on my twitter and then I asked if anyone wanted to do a chronic illness holiday card swap. Only 3 people said yes and only 4 people responded. But I figured I'd put it out there anyway. So I just made a google form it will be in the description There will bee an option if you'd rather do an e-card rather than receive it in the mail so you don't have to give your address. But I'll be communicating through email and I hope to get everyone paired up by December first. If only like one person signs up I'll just have you swap with me. If it's an odd number of people I'll have the last person swap with me. But if there's an even number I just won't get involved. But either way I think. No matter how many people I get everyone will be happy. So yeah. Just wanted to say that real quick.

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chronically-angelic-transripts · 8 years ago

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ACIV: Halloweekend 2017 (Oct 27-29)

Hello everyone. My sister lost my glasses. I cannot find them I think I'm going to have to go to school without glasses today. And I'm very dizzy. I haven't taken my pills yet though so that might be why I'm dizzy. But I think it might also be the glasses thing but it also might just be I'm freaking dizzy for no reason. I ate breakfast, my pills are all lied out over there so I just have to take them I just haven't yet. I'm working on the captions for yesterday's vlog if you haven't seen it go watch it. Alright. Ima keep working so. Bye. Guys I spilled one of my pill bottles. They're all over the floor everywhere I don't know. I don't know where they all went. This is a catastrophe. NO DON'T FALL OVER AGAIN! Okay Ima put you... alright I'm going to try to finish cleaning this up. So I got to the school... it was locked. So according to the official rules you only have to go on Fridays if you didn't get stuff done during the regular week and I guess you have to sign up for that so I'm just going to have to talk to my teacher on Tuesday. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. So it is 3 pm on Friday and I don't want to die. So I'd say it's going pretty good this new schooling thing. Normally Thursdays are just the absolute worst. They're just the worst things. Because when I was in regular schooling Thursday was the culmination of the 28 hours of just walking around and taking notes and just repetitive repetitive repetitive and stressful stuff. And that was 28 hours being all just combined into one day. On Friday it's like a bunch of hours still but then at the end of the day you're free for two days. On Thursday it's just been so long and you just need to stop and you just...yeah. Thursdays were always the worst for me but yesterday was fine. I wish I'd have done this last year. Seriously. Alright bye. Hello all I have nerve pain and it hurts a lot more when I move it so I just sling it all up in a pretty little scarf. It still hurts though. It just feels like there's lightning going from my shoulder to my hand. I think that it's nerve pain but you can never be too sure so. But yeah it hurts...a lot and I don't want to move it. 'cause it hurts...a lot. Ok Ima go for now. Hey guys guess what? I found mah glasses actually I made my sister find them for me but they've been found so. Ok so at this point I am pretty much immobile with everything but this arm and my legs. 'cause if I move any part of my torso it's gonna move this arm and that hurts really bad. I'm also getting a little bit of the nerve pain in my leg but its's bearable. It's fine. But this one, I move it I start sobbing and I start getting really nauseous from the pain so I'm trying to avoid that. This weekend is going to be...I'm going to be at a place where I won't have my laptop and I'm possibly not going to have wifi so it will be a weekend long vlog. And I will upload it on Monday. So I'm in the hospital I don't want to call too much attention to myself. There's nobody in here but I'm whispering because I don't want them to think I'm talking to myself. But yeah my nerve pain is super bad right now. I'm like scared to move my arm it hurts so bad. But yeah its like five in the morning and I couldn't sleep because it hurts so. yeah. Here we are. Ok so I'm already home it's been like an hour. I'm kinda glad for that though because last time I was there I was there for like four hours. So they just gave me a real sling and a prescription that I won't be able to get until the pharmacy opens in like three hours but I'm hoping that will help. So yeah. I'm going to try to go to sleep and I'll check in with you guys later. Vlog update finally. Featuring kitties because the friend we're staying at's house they have seven cats and nine kids. So yeaah they had a small fire here so we're helping them clean up the soot from their stuff. We were supposed to leave at like 9:30 this morning but there were a lot of setbacks including our car wouldn't start and then we got to a train and it was just a lot of stuff. I'm expecting not to be able to film in a quieter room like this all the time so there will be pictures and narrations later instead of updates like this so yeah. *mumbling I can't understand* But yeah. Ima go play music and play Minecraft. I didn't bring my allergy meds and I didn't take them this morning either. So now I've got the sniffles and running eyes. Fantastic. Okay so I am here and I am passing out candy. The first people who came up this little girl was really excited that a princess was giving her candy and they're in the back of like a truck in a hay ride and so she drives away and she goes "See you later princess!" and I thought it was the cutest darn thing. So that kind of made my day. So just wanted to clarify, I'm technically supposed to be a queen but princess is fine too. It's getting to be a little bit of a lull here I don't know if it's supposed to be over after n hour I'm not sure I'm seeing some people way down there but I don't know. I just texted someone to as them about when it's over. But yeah. I'm having fun except it's freezing cold out here and I'm barely exaggerating. Yesterday the windchill was 34 Fahrenheit and I believe that is about 1 Centigrade. Oh jeez it's so cold. Alright I got people coming up so goodbye. You like my kitty tattoo? Ok so there are no sidewalks in this neighborhood so I figured common courtesy is to take the bowl of candy up to the people in their car because they drive their car around. Some people were even doing hayrides they took their riding lawnmower, hook up a trailer, get some hay back in there. So I figured common courtesy you know? Go up pass it out they don't even have to get out of the freaking car. Apparently nobody else in the history of humanity does this 'cause they were like raving about it and I was like "Wait does nobody else do this?" One lady even said I should've had a tip jar because it was so nice and I was like "Is this not normal?"Like this should be a regular thing people. Get with the program other people. Ok so I got a temporary tattoo. It's a nice little kitty. OMG there's a kitty in here. KITTY! Anyway yup. And people with awesome costumes got two pieces. There was a Wednesday Addams who got two peices. There was a harry potter who got two pieces. There was a Hermione with like everything. She had the time turner, she had the sweater, she had the scarf. Well she didn't have the scarf because the already had a time turner but she was decked out and I was like "You get two". There were some other ones I can't quite remember but yes. Alright. Bye-bye. We made it home! I'm really tired but I decided to edit the vlog before I go to bed so I can... 'cause the way I'll do it is I'll edit it, start uploading it, go to sleep so when I wake up it's already all uploaded so I don't have to wait on anything. And then I just do the captions and then I publish it. I really like this it's adorable. There are more too. Here I'll show you. There's a mummy, a witch, and a pumpkin and they are all so cute. So yes we made it home *mumble* I had a lot of fun passing out candy. And I made a new friend. I'm so sorry my sister is snoring in the background because I share a room with my sister. I made a new friend we hadn't really gotten a chance to talk before but I could tell we were going to be friends but we had never really gotten the chance to talk. But then after we got done trick or treating we got pizza and then we both sat down on the same couch and had pizza and we talked for like three hours straight. So yeah. I had fun. It is actually 12:30 A.M. Peace out. Goodnight.

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chronically-angelic-transripts · 8 years ago

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ACIV: Day 2 of New School (Oct 25, 2017)

Hey guys. I get out like 5 minutes before everyone in the main school does so I'm just waiting for the bus. And I didn't film this morning so I thought I'd film now. Look at the pretty trees. UGH! I've been sitting for three hours straight and I can feel my blood pressure dropping in my head. Alright bye.

Hello. This is my fridge. So I'm just waiting for the kettle to boil. I have some tea. It's really good. It's like a sweet spicy kind of thing. It's called "Constant Comment" by Bigelow. It's pretty good. And then I've got some s'mores poptarts in the toaster so. It gonna be good. I'm trying to vlog a little bit more today since I'm trying to get back into it and since I didn't vlog this morning. Alright, bye.

Alright guys I'm clocking out early so I just wanted to say goodnight. I think it's around 10, 10:30 I don't remember but peace out, goodnight.

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chronically-angelic-transripts · 8 years ago

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ACIV: I'M BACK (Oct 24, 2017)

Hello I am back. I had been taking a break from the vlogging because basically my entire like was just school and then sleep. And 1.) That's not exciting to watch. And 2.) That meant I had pretty much nothing to vlog and no time to edit vlogs. But good news I got accepted to to the online schooling program. So now my mornings are free. And I can vlog about stuff that I do in the mornings, and yeah. Here's an example clip.

Hi guys. So I have been accepted to the online schooling thing. So I think I'm gonna be able to start vlogging again because that's why I wasn't really doing it because my life was just school, sleep, school, sleep, school sleep. Today's going to be my first day at the thing but I think that you're not allowed to record in it. So I'm just gonna kinda take detailed note into my brain. So I can kinda describe it for you guys. Yeah. Let's get started. Right now I have my breakfast. We got Frankenberries and I got some hot chocolate up there. so yeah. I actually ran out of antidepressants last Wednesday and today we can pick them up at the pharmacy but it's caused me to break out. I never get this many pimples at once. But like they're everywhere right now. I got one actually right there. and it's like around my nose. It really hurts. So yeah. Let's get going. I actually really love it so far. The courses are giving me more information. Like that sounds weird like more information but they're giving me like random facts about stuff. That will help me remember because it's just weird stuff that will help me remember the other stuff that's kinda boring. For example when they first found Helium they found it on the sun before they found it on the Earth. So they named it Helium after the Greek or Latin, I can't remember which one, word "helios" which means "sun". Now I did now that helios meant sun but I never made that connection before. And so seeing that connection was just like

*explosion noise that actually kinda sounded more like a fart*

Now I'm gonna remember stuff from that section. Another thing was that the Roman empire was taken down my lead poisoning. Thy coated the inside of their cups and their plates with lead and then people were drinking and eating all this lead and people were making bad decisions because they had brain damage. And that's how the Roman Empire ceased to exist.

So I... after that I came home and then we went to this function. It was like Halloween thing. I dressed up as a Queen, there's my tiara over there. Some, I don't know who it was, but some generous angel off the internet got me my walker and so I was able to use that as like a throne. So that I could push it around and while we were waiting in lines I could sit down on it. It helped me not to get as tired. Which is the entire reason I made that outfit what it was. 'cause going to Halloween stuff is the perfect time to use the walker but then I can also incorporate it into my costume. So here's a clip of that now.

Sorry I keep changing the camera angle in between clips. But it's just like, not the right angle and I don't want to change it mid-clip so then I just wait till the next one. Alrighty so yeah I think I'll be able to be more diligent with this. It is 10:50 exactly, it just switched, It is 10:50 peace out, goodnight.

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chronically-angelic-transripts · 8 years ago

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Draw My #ChronicLife

February 6, 2000. This is where my story begins. My mom and dad met a few years before, had gotten married and then had me. I was born on February 6th obviously in the poorly drawn state of Ohio. In 2002 my family had another addition. I was no longer an only child. This baby was my little sister her name is Mandy. In 2004 we had yet another addition. The first and only boy so far my little brother, Micah. And then again in 2006 my little sister Elly made the debut into the family.

Sometime in between 2009 and 2010 I'm not quite sure on the time frame of that, I started having chronic back pain "OW!" The only reason that I remember it was even within this time frame is because of a memory I have with one of my friends. I was over at her grandparents house and we were lying on the floor for some reason and I commented that it felt nice to lay on the floor because it stretched my back out and I said "My back hurts all the time now I don't know why..."

In 2010 I had my first move. We had been living in the same house ever since I was baby. But when I was 10 and we had to move to new one. Up until now I had been schooled at home but now I went to a real school. I actually got held back a year because my mom actually wasn't that great of a teacher and so I didn't retain a lot of information so I ended up having to redo a year but I went to a community school right there in town.

So when I went to this new school I was well the new kid obviously. It was fourth grade and I was kind of a loner. I mean not by choice I was just kind of over here and they were all kind of over there. I mean I guess I don't blame them like I was the new kid they didn't know me but it just kind of sucks, you know? So there was this one girl named Destiny and we became pretty fast friends. So we would hang out most all of fourth grade and then partway through 5th grade and then partway through 5th grade she just kind of decided that didn't really mesh and she kind of left.

At this point I had already been struggling with a little bit of depression and my one friend that I had abandoning me was just a little bit too much for me to handle honestly. What I am trying to draw here is like a Cheshire Cat face but I can't draw so I'm going to explain that that is what that is supposed to be. Having my friend leave me just the depression consumed me I didn't have anything to keep me occupied. My only memories from fifth grade are being in the dark, trying to get help, trying to pull out. I sat... you know those lunch tables where there's like half of it it's like really long but there's like two parts to it that are very clearly established? Yeah I started eat lunch out one of those all by myself. I felt very isolated.

In sixth grade things got a little bit better. Depression never really goes fully away but you can have enough fun to kind of forget it's there the blackness kind of fades a little bit. It never really goes away but... there you go. So the blackness can fade a little bit so you distract yourself things get a little bit better. That was sixth grade for me. I found this group of people this kind of group of other outcasts kind of like me and we made our own little group. I actually named it. We called ourselves M&M; or the modern Musketeers with our motto "all for one and one for all" There were two boys and three girls. Just the five of us. The two boys were Justin and Trey and then there was me Delaney and Madi.

Madison and Trey both left the school after sixth grade so it was just me Justin and Delaney which I actually have some pretty good memories from that time. We were all kind of awkward and we never went out for recess so we would always help the janitor clean up the cafeteria while everyone else was at recess. Which doesn't sound that great but it was really fun 'cause it was just the three of us in this wide open cafeteria and I remember this one time when we smashed open a barbecue packet. We made a lot of messes because meaning we were just gonna clean them up anyway. Never started a food fight though. Okay moving on.

So my mom had gotten pregnant yet again and this time there were two of them I don't know why I I tried to add the babies holding up peace signs but I failed terribly at this but I thought it was funny that the babies would be giving peace signs and also that I failed so terribly at having the babies give peace signs so I just kept it. This happened in 2012 by the way...because I forgot to do that earlier. Okay so my mother had finally given birth. I had two little baby sisters named Mia and Libby. This is all the children and then my parents have as of yet so yes still just the one boy. That same year or maybe it was the year before that. I have a terrible memory okay? This is very hard.

Ever since, actually ever since I was born we had been going to this one church it was it was kind of weird It had a lot of rules. Girls could only wear skirts. I wore pajama pants around the house sometimes in the winter and stuff but I08:49never wore a pair of jeans until I was 12. We were also supposed to have very long hair and cutting it even just trimming the dead ends off was just...no. And you couldn't pierce your ears either. That's what that's supposed to be. That's supposed to be an earring but it kind of just looks like more hair but no. No ear piercings or tattoos. It was the only place I could put a tattoo leave me alone.

My mom had decided that this church wasn't really for her anymore and kind of peaced out on that. I don't know why I keep using peace in this section but she says "peace I'm out! "and she gone. This actually led to me questioning religion a lot. It sent me into a tizzy that lasted for years and I'm still no quite decided but it was really bad at the beginning. I was just so confused I mean what was right? Christianity? There's Jewishism? I don't even know what you call it. I don't know. I know what you call it I can't remember okay leave me alone. science? There Scientology? Aliens? what do I believe? What should I believe?

In 2015 I had to move from my second house of my life an hour away from my hometown. Our family was getting pretty big at this point and my dad already worked in that town so we just decided it would be better to move there instead. So, 2015 it was finally time for high school. Yes this is an actual model of what my high school looks like it's really weird.11:292016, 10th grade. At this point in tenth grade my health started to decline. I was having more trouble with my back, I was having more trouble with my hips I was having trouble with my knees. My ankles started to be all weird my my toes my declining health also meant that my depression took a hit for the worst. I started to descend into the darkness, which was not fun.

I decided to seek out therapy and they referred me to a psychologist (or I forget. Is it psychologist? I think it's psychologist.) where they gave me meds. The first med that I was on didn't really help me much but then the second med that I got on it helped me a whole lot I am so much less depressed than I was. So I know that my mental health was in a pretty good state I decided I needed to take a real look at my physical health. I went to my PCP and she decided we were gonna do "ALL THE TESTING EVER!!!" Despite all the testing I still have no idea what's wrong.

The one piece of advice my doctor did give me was to exercise and I figured swimming is pretty easy on the joints. So I did that. I was not a very good swimmer in slightest but I did it. Halfway through the season I kind of realized that it was a terrible mistake because the joints in my arms had started hurting. I never had problems with the joints in my arms before and then suddenly I did. It was not fun. Now I'm going to go to a video by me from before so.

About halfway through the season I didn't really go back anymore because my wrists and my hands had started hurting my joints never used to click before and now they do. My wrists started hurting they didn't used to click either, my elbows started hurting they don't really click but they hurt now, my shoulders click if I do this and they hurt by themselves now too. I used to have a lot of shoulder like muscle pain but now I'll get joint pain and sometimes it'll even feel like my shoulders trying to fall out of its socket I never be used to be able to bend my fingers back this far, I never used to be able to do (oops the camera can't see) I never used to able to touch my thumb to my forearm like this, I never be used to be able to do any of that. Oh they also didn't used to be able to do this this or any of this you can see. I think they used to click a little bit but now they click like a lot.

I can touch my toes now which I can only I only used to be able to get to about here (my knees) and now I can touch my toes all the way down. See I can lift that up. My sister measured with (you're foot is in the shot) My sister measured it for me and it goes up like seven centimeters off the ground. My elbow doesn't really hyper extend but it still hurts all the time. My shoulders are the same way and yeah it's just a big ol mess. I also have started experiencing POTS symptoms and I didn't really start experiencing that until I started exercising. So honestly I'm a little scared to exercise at all anymore because I'm scared of it getting worse. Which I think is understandable.

So now I'll explain a little about POTS symptoms basically whenever I would stand up my heart would freak out. It's due to it it's a type of dysautonomia which is a dysfunction the autonomic nervous system which regulates things like blood pressure, heart rate, digestion all that good stuff. So basically my first symptom was my heart just would freak out.

Because I was experiencing this, I went to my doctor. She referred me to a cardiologist and he ordered me a tilt table test. I actually fainted during the tilt table test. So I went back to the doctor who was under the assumption that I was just fat and had not been exercising and he was like "I don't know I'll just give you some meds and no diagnosis"

So now we're almost to the present. 11th grade. By 11th grade given the problems in my... everything now, I had started walking with a cane over the summer. I only use it sometimes when I need it during school but even on days when I have to use it I still I get home and I just... I crash and it really sucks to be honest. My path ahead is still just one giant question mark. I have hope that I will get into this online academy thing that my school does where I can still be a student but I go and do it. It sounds like a wonderful solution and I'm probably gonna find out the day after tomorrow whether or not I got it. I don't think I'm gonna add it here just let it be unfinished.

So that's my life so far. I may do a part two in a year or two. Who knows? But if you want to see it as it happens ,subscribe! The vlogs have been pretty inconsistent but I'm hoping to get better if I get in to the online school. Like, share subscribe and follow my media. Links in the description.

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