chronicpessimism - Tumblr blog

[chronicpessimism]

hey i was caramelizing your boyfriend and he uh. he stuck to the pan. yeah i didn’t deglaze it enough and he’s really burnt on there. i mean we can soak him for a while and see if we can scrape him up but i’m not optimistic. sorry.

[chronicpessimism]

cecilsweep has me feeling downright patriotic i didnt care AT ALL about the previous polls on here or twitter but. seeing the disrespectful people say "who the fuck is cecil he's nobody" had me ready to throw HANDS cecil gershwin palmer was out here slaying and being canonically gay at a time queerbaiting was the only ""representation"" on any of the tumblr popular shows and u have the GALL to come here and say he doesn't matter. hes everything to this website and hes behind 90% of all quirky funnyman text posts know your roots come on

[chronicpessimism]

the boys / supernatural

[chronicpessimism]

Starlight 🌟

[chronicpessimism]

the last of us is actually about a local apocalypse girlboss and her babygirl scary-dog-privileges boyfriend who occasionally beats a man to death with his bare hands

[chronicpessimism]

THE LAST OF US | 1.01

[chronicpessimism]

I’d die for Kate Laswell.

[chronicpessimism]

COD: MODERN WARFARE II - 141 AND FRIENDS - ICE SKATING

Drabble Headcanons of the 141 and Friends skating on ice together. Includes: Price, Gaz, Soap, Ghost, Alejandro, Rudy, Alex, Farah and Nikolai!

ICE ICE BABY under the cut

|| Price:

He refuses to disclose how he has so much Ice Skating experience. Rather than being the ballerina on ice, he is a hockey-kinda man and can out-race and tackle anyone on ice. Repeatedly tries to challenge the squad to take him down on ice as a drill. They fail miserably until Nikolai brutally tackles him. Otherwise, he never fails to stand sturdy. He skates like he trains for a mission and sets himself several goals. Gets a gun to do shooting drills WHILE skating.

Does not fall once even when Gaz briefly catches himself on him and slides down and falls.

Ends up playing some games on ice with Nikolai, like a snow ball fight or a miniature hockey.

|| Gaz:

No experience with Ice Skating but very determined. He is willing to try anything but he is a "tries to run before he can walk" kind of man. But his ego be damned if he cannot do what Nikolai can by the end of the day. He is very sportiv and lanky, and even though he might take a wrong approach and does not ask for help, he gets the hang of it eventually. He is absolutely bloody and bruised by the end of it since he tries to do tricks, jump and what not, but it all heals.

One time, he tried to hang onto Price as he was falling and ended up falling on his face. His nose was bloody. Another time, he fell and swooped Ghost of his feet in the same motion as he kicked him in the ankles during the fall.

|| Soap:

He successfully covers that he used to skate a lot but does not remember anything and cannot do it anymore. Acts confident enough to actually come across as experienced. He is also the first to offer Ghost help. Is shaky on his legs but very very speedy. Price had trouble defending himself against him during the challenges because there was a mix of chaos in his missing skill and fake attempts that confused him.

Sadly, he forgot how to slow down and come to a stop. Curves are his enemies and he ends up in heaps of snow a lot of the time. He has crashed into everyone at least ONCE. Alex always tried to catch him before he hit Gaz or Farah but ends up falling and tumbling into the others, creating a hug pile of collateral damage.

Gets yanked off his feet by Ghost several times. Finally, Ghost lifts him on his shoulders to have a race against Alex and Farah. They fall because Soap got too excited and yanked at the other man too much.

|| Ghost:

Just stands on the ice like a tree, all menacingly. Does not know how to move but can also not be moved unless he wants to. He refuses to admit that he does not know how to skate. No matter how many times someone bumps into him, he stands. Just one time, Gaz absolutely rips him from his feet and suddenly the man could move on the ice to catch the perpetrator that brought him to fall on his ass.

When he learned enough to move, he breaks by crashing into others at first. His best time is when he can move past Soap and shove the man to the side who desperately wants to keep on his feet and fails.

Lifts up Soap when he finally feels safe enough. Takes a lot of attempts until he can at least stand with the wiggly soldier on his back.

|| Alejandro:

Absolutely miserable. Before he even gets a word out, he puts his skates on the ice and falls. Refuses to try again for a hot minute, getting around it by drinking or saying the shoes are not tight enough.

But Rodolfo coaxes him back onto the ice, carefully. He gets a lot of guidance and they speak Spanish the whole time. Rudy sounds like he is trying to calm a rapid dog as Ale gets more and more determined AND mad over the ice. By the end, he is fine being dragged by Rudy, even racing against Ghost and Soap. However, he falls and dramatically tells Rudy to go on and win this for him as he stays put on the ground.

"You have some blood there, cabrón." As he offers Gaz a tissue. Also puts a ball of snow in his face for the bruises.

|| Rudy:

For some reason, he is actually intermediate. He does not do big tricks or anything, just skates all calm. There is an elegance to the turns and twists he can do.

To help Alejandro, he skates backwards just to catch him in case he stumbles. There is a lot of persuasion to finally get him on the ice. He pays too much attention to Ale so ends up bumping against Gaz, Farah or Soap and either one or both fall. Best case, Ale even tries to catch him and gets added to the victims of gravity.

Rodolfo has heard vile words in Spanish from his Colonel that day, one too many times the 141 wondered what has just been said to make Rudy look surprised.

He likes the idea of the shooting drills and has a brief moment with Price where they attempt it.

|| Alex:

I imagine he is from colder climate states or did a lot of winter sports. His ice skating looks more like skiing but it serves for steadiness. he is the one of take hold of a row of people and pull them along. Also lifts Farah on his shoulders and does some rounds with her until they both fall miserably. He wanted it to look like some ice skating olympics trick and at least he had the ambition to it. Also tries to attempt to teach Gaz and Farah when he sees their struggle.

Is one of the first and last to take the Captain's challenge for race and fighting. Ends up near dying out of breath next to bloody Gaz.

Nikolai invites him to do some tricks with him and it looks very funny. There are some interesting pictures of them. Some of them absolutely shaken and blurred as Gaz and Farah attempt to take them and fall.

|| Farah:

She is one of the few with the most horrible time. She refuses help, holds onto the railing most of the time too. Cold is not familiar to her so besides shivering like mad and trying to hide it it adds to her barely able to stand upright. Price chuckles at her one time too much and sets a fire in her that makes her his biggest threat. Got the closest to swooping him off his feet.

Ended up having a good time on Alex' shoulders as they outraced Ghost and Soap. She was mutuals with Gaz by the end because she understood the uniting experience of the struggle.

|| Nikolai (cuz why not):

Unsurprisingly, he has a lot of tricks up his sleeve. Skates backwards and has interesting moves where he squads in or skates while doing a plank. Really, it is quite impressive to see the man defy gravity. He also happens to be the only one to beat Price at his challenge.

Otherwise, he is quite the elegant ballerina on ice and gets Soap and Alex to move to some music with him. Also challenges Gaz into trickier moves and laughs at him falling. Once threw a snowball at him which made him fall and rip Ghost down too. Best thing to happen to him all week, he swears. There is a revenge coming, he knows as much.

[chronicpessimism]

Lil kissy from mommy cartel

[chronicpessimism]

[chronicpessimism]

[chronicpessimism]

[chronicpessimism]

does anyone have like a default obsession

like your mind switches through these current obsessions and once the hype kind of dies down, there’s always this one fandom that it switches back to when there’s nothing else new and it’s like always there without fail

[chronicpessimism]

[chronicpessimism]

I gotta stay off tumblr while I'm crossfaded some of the images you people show me could drive a man to madness

[chronicpessimism]

[chronicpessimism]

Lately I've been having more sympathy for Cherie

She had The Best Man Ever but then The Best Woman Ever came along and now he's a better person and they aren't together anymore

There's nothing all that wrong with her - she's good looking enough and useful enough and interesting enough. Even caring enough. But she can't compare to Kimiko. She can never be her.

I just really really relate to her on that front. Being too mediocre/just not extraordinary enough to have the few things we desire or be who we want to be or live the life we want and always getting left behind and alone

Anyways I started a Cherie playlist even though that's probably the last we'll see of her. If anyone has suggestions for it feel free to send em my way :)

I’m no object of affection / Pretty enough to fuck but never wanna be with / Pretty enough to go all the way but never just kiss / Pretty enough to come over late but never stay until the sun comes up

But when you walked out that door / A piece of me died / I told you I wanted more / That's not what I had in mind / I just want it like before