churchyardvampire - Tumblr blog

[churchyardvampire]

I've shared what Satanism means for me but I haven't shared what my relationship with atheism is.

In certain groups there's this stigma that atheists actively try to disprove the idea of a god, that atheists are anti-religious; this idea that we all want everyone to stop having religious beliefs. But that's not true for all atheists because atheists are not a monolith.

I used to believe in a god. I used to pray to a god. I used to believe I could speak to god directly and feel his spirit. And that scared me. I was scared of the idea of supernatural forces outside of my comprehension that moved outside of my understanding, and I couldn't do anything but just believe in the scary nothing that I was told to have faith in. My relationship with god wasn't personal, as much as I tried to make it personal it never worked for me.

When I started to step back and question what I believed in, I was scared of believing the "wrong" thing. I was scared of the fact that no one could prove who was right and who was safe from death. I was scared of being wrong and going to hell. I was scared of being the wrong type of believer and go to hell anyway. It was overwhelming.

And I came to the conclusion that theism just didn't work for me. It didn't help me make sense of my life or guide me in life. It wasn't healthy it was making me feel anxious. I hated thinking about the possibility of the existence of a god or not because the supernatural scares me.

I decided that I don't have to think about it at all. I don't need to believe in a deity. I don't need one if it's only going to stress me out. I don't have to do anything. For me atheism is choosing not have any connection to theism at all. I'm happier that way.

[churchyardvampire]

When it comes to religion/spirituality, nobody has the right to tell another person how they have to practice or identify if they're not hurting anyone. Also, just because someone else's practices or beliefs don't align with yours (eg. threefold law, UPGs, approaches to reconstructing religions, interpretations of texts, rituals, who a certain deity is or how/if they exist in the world) doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong. Religion is such a broad spectrum, and I can pretty much guarantee that no two peoples' experiences with it will be exactly the same.

Share resources, have debates/discussions, learn about different perspectives, and don't fall into the stagnant mindset of my understanding and/or practice of this religion is right and everyone else is wrong. Please, It's making me so tired seeing and hearing this so often.

[churchyardvampire]

Something I really struggle with even TEN YEARS after leaving is that the end of the world isn’t actually coming. Not in the way they taught me.

There will be no second coming. The wars and rumors of wars have been happening since the beginning of civilization. The red sun doesn’t mean anything more than pollution and smoke in the sky. The signs are ubiquitous and common.

The world isn’t going to just end one day when Jesus comes again. It’s not going to just stop. For some reason that thought is always foreign to me even after all this time and work.

[churchyardvampire]

I hate that "I don't need to know nb characters agab" post bc like. yes on the surface I agree broadly that there's nb characters where knowing their agab is irrelevant and cis ppl being Creepy

but like. I fucking hate the people in the tags like "I never need to know a nb characters agab and there's no point", disregarding the idea that... some nonbinary people do actually have stories relevant to our agab we want to tell?

my main ocs agab being afab quite literally is important by virtue of them being an autistic kid interested in science in the 50s. even tho I never intend to refer to them as afab its... pretty fucking obvious from the info of "my parents thought I should be cooking and not trying to fix a car"

to me it's the exact same as like, saying you should never depicted homophobia or transphobia. like seriously? I'm not allowed to include two things that have been incredibly impactful in how I see the world???

also to me it just seems like another way in which the transness of the nonbinary experience is ignored. I want nb characters who are unapologetically transgender and who talk about stuff like surgery and hormones. and that's probably going to involve some degree of acknowledging agab

oh and I'm just horny. I like sex scenes. It'll be pretty obvious that my character is afab due to, yknow, dysphoria and the strap

[churchyardvampire]

my most antitheist opinion is that hell is like. a cartoonishly evil thing to believe in and insanely abusive to teach children about

[churchyardvampire]

I'm finally trying mead and it's v nice but it's making me v tipsy v fast

[churchyardvampire]

Every storyline about doubting your faith depicts loss of religion as this tragic thing that must be overcame by renewal of faith, but for a lot of people, losing their religion is a beautiful, liberating journey. I wish there were more stories like that.

[churchyardvampire]

most of that post is good but then anarchists have to literally make it bad by focusing on their childish hatred of a vaguely defined authority instead of. yknow. "perhaps you should respect animals"

"there are no hierarchies in nature" I'm hitting you with a stick there literally are

[churchyardvampire]

"there are no hierarchies in nature" I'm hitting you with a stick there literally are

[churchyardvampire]

Basilica of Maria Taferl, Austria (by ancient-serpent)

[churchyardvampire]

The Lovers. Art by Fyodor Pavlov, from the Fyodor Pavlov Tarot.

[churchyardvampire]

just tell me. think for a second if you need to, but tell me: can you acknowledge the unique worldview and philosophical capacity, can you see the actual value, that atheism has?

because if your immediate reaction to that is to try to argue or disregard it, if you think acknowledging that must also mean saying religions do not each have their own unique and equal value, or if you think that whole idea makes me, like, some 2012 reddit "atheism is actually logical and better" charicature

then like. frankly, I do not care what you think about atheists.

[churchyardvampire]

The heart of the issue of saying atheists are culturally christian in a way that matters tangibly more than any other belief system (even, sometimes, being actually christian), ignoring atheists that are not from christian dominate cultures or religious backgrounds, and using caricatures of atheism to represent the entire belief system has always been the insistence that atheists are the oppressors somehow, that atheists can't be one of many minority religions and belief systems that you should seek to ally with because they are higher on the oppression tree and they need to shut up and listen to you

It an emotionalization of bad experiences with atheists in the face of obvious facts, like that atheists make up around 7% of the world population, that they don't hold major political or social power in most cultures (subcultures may be a different matter, but it's perhaps worth being accurate about when a subculture is even atheist-dominate in the first place), that they are often treated with hostility and aggression by dominate religions and belief systems, that they can come from many cultures and religious backgrounds and hold many different ethical and political beliefs

"Atheists are our oppressors" and "Atheists are prone to siding with our oppressors" has no tangible basis in reality and is not productive to dismantling oppression against religious minorities, but it's certainly popular, probably because being part of a minority belief system makes you very easy to smear and less likely to be in a position to retaliate

[churchyardvampire]

this also ignores disabled eldest siblings who get constantly infantalized and given zero power over their own lives

I'm very tired of ppl being like "oh x isn't an elder sibling if they didn't take care of the younger siblings" glad yall had younger siblings who liked you. mine told me to kill myself and was used as a pawn in my dad's abuse of me

[churchyardvampire]

More concerning info on the RESTRICT Act, including that it can be expanded to other countries.

[churchyardvampire]

I'm very tired of ppl being like "oh x isn't an elder sibling if they didn't take care of the younger siblings" glad yall had younger siblings who liked you. mine told me to kill myself and was used as a pawn in my dad's abuse of me

[churchyardvampire]

Colossians 3:5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Bring to life therefore what is genuine in you: sexuality, personality, ambition, desire, and joy. God's jealousy is irrelevant.