chuuuchuuutrain
chuuuchuuutrain
( ˶°ㅁ°) !!
681 posts
*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚"Love dares you to care for the people".・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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chuuuchuuutrain · 14 minutes ago
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"how to interact and become really good friends with my amazing writing mutuals without reaching out first?"
@drewsephrry @d3adfa1ry @surfingthroughtheseaandskies @chuuuchuuutrain @bbyg4rl @scne-vampire
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chuuuchuuutrain · 3 hours ago
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tbh im kinda fucking mad at the pogues for not giving a fuck abt jj's mental health or physical health like my man got stabbed, was runnin around morrocco pressing his wound BC IT HURTED and NO ONE did shit like...? (or anything related to him in general) during s4 + the writters making jj say / do shit he would never actually do (like telling john b he was gonna be a shitty father + trusting groff like..? s1 jj woulda shot that ugly hoe minute 1 lmao) and now everyone is wearing his stuff like grl he aint a souvenir shop that's your DECEASED bf / bff...
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chuuuchuuutrain · 10 hours ago
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so we just taking everything from him now??
AND SHE HAS HIS SURFBOARD 😭😭😭😭
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chuuuchuuutrain · 10 hours ago
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never had a happier Tuesday
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Happy Tuesday❤️
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chuuuchuuutrain · 10 hours ago
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She Sells Seashells
JJ Maybank x Reader
Words 1.8k
Fluff
Series Masterlist
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You were fresh on the OBX and taking over your aunts business. A punishment by your parents in retaliation for yet another missed curfew in favor of sneaking off to the coastline. They said it’d be good for you, it’d be what you needed. You knew the truth though, they needed the money. But hey! Why waste a summer away from parents at paradise on Earth?
Your aunt was a reasonable woman, who’s truly just a family friend, and who probably should’ve handed the shop off to someone else years ago. And you? You’re the perfect person for the job. A bright new face on the island will always bring in locals, and where there’s a crowd there’s Kooks, and where there’s Kooks there’s money. What you didn’t expect, was to be hit on not 20 minutes into your first shift.
You were sure it was a robbery—even if it would’ve been a pretty pathetic one.
You heard them all arguing outside your window, 3 boys and a girl, all about your age.
“Damnit JJ just go in-“ “no I’m not going in first you go in first!” “Absolutely not!” “Well this was all John B’s idea how about he goes in first” “yea I like that plan” “yea” “me? okay- okay.”
Then the man who you could only assume was John B walked in with his group in toe.
“Hey, uhm, hi. Look, my friend here, he was really drawn to your shop here” he says as he gestures around while the girl pushes the blonde boy towards the front. “Isn’t that right JJ, you were attracted to the shop” John B teased.
“Christ man- shut up, will you?” The blonde-JJ-shrugged John B’s arm from around him. “Hello, Miss, look I’m real sorry my friends here are bothering you, they just-“ he leans in closer “they’ve got some issues up in the ol’ thinker and sometimes you just gotta let em do their thing-“ he whispers before being abruptly cut off by John B pulling him back by the shirt collar with a sharp “Dude!”
All you could do was laugh, a small one that you tried to stifle for the fact of still making a sale, and the fact that you wouldn’t exactly be opposed to seeing them again. Seeing JJ again. He is a sight for sore eyes even if his first impression is a bit… different.
You miss every single word of their bickering, too caught up in your own head until JJ leans back over the counter. “Will you still be here at 2?” He asks, and you’d say it sounded almost like a business proposal if it weren’t for the grin on his lips that he wasn’t even trying to hold back.
“Yea, I’ll be here till that sign out front says closed, are you planning on making a purchase?” You replied, the first time you’d spoken to any of them since they’d walked in, and JJ froze.
There’s a solid 5 seconds of silence before the girl flicks the back of his head. That seems to snap him back into reality.
“Well, ma’mm, I’ll be back as a paying customer at 2” JJ says, dramatically tipping his hat and rushing out the shop, quickly followed by John B and the girl. The last boy who hadn’t spoken stays behind for a moment, just long enough to stick a dollar in your tip jar and say “I am, so, sorry about him.” Before he rushed out as well.
And there you were, in a once again empty shop, and watching the clock a bit more intensely than you’d like to admit.
And then it was two.
You’d had a few sales that day. A couple girls came in and got popsicles from your cooler, a man bought his girlfriend one of the shell necklaces your aunt made by hand. A few other snack and forgotten-essentials sales, but nothing nearly as interesting as your interaction that morning.
And then it was two o’three..
And JJ came barreling through your door, leaning his surf board against your cashier counter. His hair tossed and curled by waves, a sheen of sweat and salt water still clung to this bare skin.
“No shoes no shirt no service, sorry man” you say as convincingly as you can even if a half smile slipped through the cracks when you saw his face fall.
“Really? Wait- really?” He asked worriedly “do- do yall sell shirts- and shoes?” he looked around the store in a bordering panicked state until you finally let out a laugh.
“I’m joking, we’re a surf shop 5 minutes from the beach, no shoes-no shirt is like half of the people who walk in here” you say as you smile at him, and he returned it fast
“Oh we’re gonna get along” he nodded as he gave himself what you guessed was a silent pep talk. Then he started up again “you, Miss whatever your name is, which I bet your name is beautiful by the way i probably should’ve asked you that first-“ you cut him off with a quiet interjection of your name. “Right, Miss,” he smiled even harder as he filled your name into his sentence “you are easily the most shockingly gorgeous girl I have ever seen on this island and it would be an absolute waste of an evening if I didn’t spend it with you so if you’d allow me, I would like to show you around the island” he said. And you smiled, because you really really wanted to go, then you let it fall, because you really really couldn’t.
“JJ, it’s JJ right?” You ask, he nods. “I’d love to. And if you asked me a week ago if I wanted to ditch work to go walk around with a hot guy all night I’d say yes. But this shop isn’t mine to ditch, and I’m kinnda in the hot seat right now, maybe tomorrow or something?” You say, really really hoping he’d take you up on the postponement.
JJ’s quiet for a moment. “So just to be clear you’re not rejecting me right? Because Kie said if you reject me I should just leave but I’m kinnda hoping I don’t have to do that” he asks and you watch his whole body untense when you shake your head. “Oh thank god.”
You laugh lightly “well I’m sorry it’ll be a waste of an evening” you say as you go back to your crossword “even if I will see you in the morning”
“Ohhh you underestimate my problem solving” he says as he sits down on a barstool you had placed to the side with the intention to throw it out. “I can still give you some tips on the island”
“Oh yea?” You’re intrigued, truly, something about this boy’s insistence on spending his night lovesick is admirable.
“Oh yea” he winks as he walks over to the window. A couple passes by “those, were kooks.” He says as he taps the glass with his knuckles. “Kooks. The rich guys from the figure 8, the big houses and the golf courses. All the nice boats on the marina. And this?” He taps his chest and grins “is a pouge. Full blooded baby”
“A pouge?” You inquire as you lean over the counter.
“It means freedom, and shit that’s real. None of that country club bullshit, we don’t need that.” He’s real proud of his description until you butt in.
“So the kooks are rich and pouges are poor. Got it” you hum “that seems.. classist”
JJ sputters “it’s more of a mindset- a- a lifestyle”
“Got it” you laugh softly “I’m in”
He perks up at that “atta girl!” He offers a high five that you gladly return. His eyes linger on your neck for a moment before he reaches out and runs a finger lightly over the shell pendent of your necklace. “Did you make this?” He asks, you shake your head.
“No, my aunt did, she’s gonna teach me how to make them tonight actually” you laugh “I’m not sure I’ll be as good as she is though, I won’t be able to do all the ornate shit for a while”
“It’s nice, real pretty” he says, but his eyes have drifted off the necklace and to your face. You just laugh.
“Thanks, JJ” you smile as you pull back. “So I know about kooks and pouges but what about you?” You ask
“Me?” JJ sits back on the barstool as he finds his words “ain’t much to say” he shrugs
You scoff “oh come on, you’re telling me that you’re the type of guy to embarrass yourself the way you did this morning, then still come back, and you don’t have a single interesting thing about you?”
“I’m a man of many qualities” he says as he grabs a pen off the counter and starts twisting it between his fingers. “I’ve got some good friends, I surf and- and I’ve got a motorcycle”
“A motorcycle?” You grin
“Awe yea she’s my baby, she’s real nice” his response is so full of happiness that suddenly you want to know about everything that could possibly make him light up like that.
“How’d you manage that? You fix her up all by yourself?” And thats the question that gets him started. A 20 minute rambling about bikes and bike parts and fixing bikes and his bike. It’s great company while you do some fixing up around the shop, and you can’t help but be a little disappointed when he stops.
“Welp! That’s enough about me” he laughs “my baddd” he drums on the counter with his index fingers “what about you? What brings you to the island?”
“I was a rebel” you laugh “stayed out past curfew a few to many times, awful, I know” you roll your eyes “my parents just need the money, one less mouth to feed and they know I’m gonna send them some help for rent, so, it was a win all around” you shrug
“You ain’t pissed?” JJ asked as he kicked his feet up on the counter
“No, man I get to spend the summer out here, what’s there to be pissed about?” That makes JJ laugh.
“Well, you aren’t wrong. This is a pretty good place to spend the summer” he says “and I intend to make it your best summer ever”
“Oh do you?” You ask him as you walk over
He hops right up from his seat. “Yes ma’mm”. He seems to light up as he hears the song on the speakers. “Dance with me” he says.
“What?” You ask, incredulous and confused, but JJ just grabbed your waist. And there you were. The two of you dancing to some love song on the radio.
This was going to be quite the summer.
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Should this be a series? Like yall can send in an ask for “SSS reader”? Should I make a look book?
Please remember to reblog if you enjoyed!
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chuuuchuuutrain · 10 hours ago
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Bunny (P14)
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Rafe Cameron x Maybank!Reader
summary: Struggling to keep her and JJ’s home afloat, Y/N turns to the only option that guarantees fast cash- stripping at a club on the Cut. But when Rafe Cameron catches her in the act, he sees the perfect opportunity to tighten his grip around her life.
a/n: Whelp- after 2 months of waiting here's what everyone's been longing for.... Jeez Louise, I did re-write and re-read this a few times cause it's pretty intense so I hope you all feel the same heart shattering feeling I did when I re-read this for the last time.
warnings: angst angst angst, extremely violent behaviour, abuse, broken bottles, bleeding, implication of drug abuse, alcohol, injuries, abusive father, domestic abuse, mentions of past trauma, sad!rafe, sad!bunny, soft!rafe.
(P1) (P2) (P3) (P4) (P5) (P6) (P7) (P8) (P9) (P10) (P11) (P12) (P13) (P14)
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The silence clung to the walls like thick and choking smoke and the heels sat perfectly placed on the coffee table like some cruel centre piece. Her eyes couldn’t leave them. Her chest was so tight she felt like her throat was constricted as she stood frozen. It was quiet except for the low buzz of the lamp beside Luke, shadows flickering on the walls and across his face. She could hear the faint hum of the fridge in the kitchen but every mundane noise around her felt too loud- like the whole house was holding its breath just like she was. Luke shifted, just slightly, a lazy movement of him casually leaning back into the couch, his eyes flicked up to her with a sick kind of amusement,
“Didn’t think I’d find out, huh?”
His voice was gravelly, thick with liquor and something else that she'd become much too familiar with- something clearly much stronger and it clung to every word. She didn’t answer right away, her mouth was too dry and her fingers were twitching at her sides, but she forced herself not to flinch. Her heart thudded against her ribs like it wanted to escape.
Run.
Hide.
She felt… small.
Small in the way she hadn’t felt in years, small like a little girl caught with something behind her back waiting for the consequence. But she vowed to herself years ago that she wasn’t a little girl anymore, so she straightened. Her spine stiff, shoulders squaring as much as she could manage under the weight pressing down on her. She made her voice as steady as she could, dragging the words up from somewhere deep inside her chest as she took a few steps away from the front the door into the house.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about...”
She hated how it sounded, too light, too rehearsed and much too defensive. Luke didn’t move- he didn’t need to. His presence was already a vice around her lungs. Instead he just gave a low, bitter laugh, shaking his head like she was the one being ridiculous.
“No?” he rasped, “Then maybe these just walked in all on their own...?”
He nodded toward the shoes with a mocking jerk of his chin and she swallowed thickly, jaw tightening,
“You went through my stuff-”
“-I live here, don’t I?”
He slurred, as if that made his actions justified. As if being under this roof gave him permission to dig into pieces of her that didn’t belong to him- that she'd worked so incredibly hard to keep a secret.
“You have no right—”
“-I have every right to know what my daughter’s doing for money.” He leaned forward now moving his elbows on his knees and even in the dim light she could see the bloodshot gleam in his eyes.
“So tell me sweetheart, how much do they pay you to walk around like a whore?”
The word hit like a slap and her whole body went stiff. There it was. No more dancing around the subject. No more fake passive tone- he’d said it out loud, and it sounded ugly. Her nails dug into her palms and the heat behind her eyes built fast, but she blinked it back.
“Don’t call me that.”
She said, voice low and he smirked like it was funny. Like she was amusing him, then he took a sip from his glass the melting ice clinking lazily around the small amount of liquid left.
“Why not? That's what you do, right? You dance for men- let ‘em stuff their dirty little bills wherever they want. Bet you like that, huh?”
She wanted to scream, to throw something at him and run. But she didn’t, she stood her ground, even though every part of her felt like it was going to collapse in on itself. She whispered out bitterly,
“You don’t know anything about me”
“Oh- I know enough.”
His words slurred at the edges a cold silence fell between them again. She looked at him- really looked at him. The man sitting on the couch wasn’t a father. Not the kind she’d spent her childhood wishing would show up to school plays or bandage her scraped knees. This was just a shell, hollowed out and rotting from the inside out, drenched and drowning in whiskey and maybe it had always been this way. She took a breath, the weight of it cutting sharp through her lungs.
“No you don't”
"Someone’s feeling brave tonight.”
Luke’s mouth twitched into something mean but she didn’t flinch- she refused to give him the satisfaction her cowering. Even when he stood up, her eyes didn’t leave the shoes on the coffee table. He stumbled slightly as he rose, and the half-empty glass he’d abandoned wobbled on the edge of the table where he'd placed it down. She took a breath, deep and slow and the floorboard beneath her creaked quietly in the otherwise suffocating silence around them.
“Where did you get those?”
She asked, voice low but clear whilst her eyes flicked up from the heels to his face, searching for confirmation of what she already knew. Luke was already pushing himself further away from the couch, movements sluggish, as he uncoordinatedly dragged his shoes against the floor. He swayed toward her, close enough now that she could smell it, cheap whiskey that clung to him.
“None of your damn business.”
Her jaw tightened, “They were under my bed,” she said slower this time, “why were you in my room....” He didn’t answer right away, just sneered. The lamp’s light hit the sharp planes of his face, deepening the shadows under his eyes, casting an eerie glow along his jaw.
"Were you looking for mone-"
“-I said,” he repeated, his voice dropping into a slurred mockery, “none of your goddamn business.”
She didn’t flinch, but she felt her pulse hammer in her throat. Her skin prickled with cold, even as heat burned in her chest. She said stiffly, crossing her arms, though her fingers trembled, “They aren’t mine” He laughed then, an ugly sound that rattled in his chest and echoed around the living room. Not amused but spiteful. “Oh, right,” he said, teeth bared in something that was definitely not a smile.
“Right. Some other girl’s little hooker heels live under your bed.”
Before she could say anything back, before the breath could even reach her lungs- he picked the heels up with one unsteady hand and hurled them. The sound was sharper than she expected, a hard clatter of plastic striking the floorboards, the left heel bouncing once before skidding to a stop at her feet. She didn’t move- stood completely still- arms at her sides, fingers trembling faintly like static was moving beneath her skin. The heels lay crooked at her feet, their rhinestones catching the warm light and glinting like they were mocking her. The other rested just beside it, half-twisted, the clear strap folded in on itself like it was ashamed. Luke’s breathing was ragged now, heavy in the quiet room. She could feel him watching her, could feel the pressure of his gaze, like it was trying to crawl under her skin, tear into whatever defences she had left. “Go on,” he muttered,
“Pick ’em up, you need ‘em for your shift tonight.”
Y/N's vision sharpened, then blurred around the edges as she kept her eyes on the shoes. She wanted to scream, wanted to cry, but instead she swallowed hard and she said nothing because if she opened her mouth now, she wasn’t sure what would come out. Not even as her father narrowed his bloodshot eyes at her, studying her with the kind of loathing that seeps deeper than a blade. Her spine stayed stiff and she slowly meets his stare. She refuses to drop her gaze. Luke lets out a rough exhale, then turns, staggering back toward the couch. She watches every movement like a hawk, the weight of her heartbeat thunderous in her ears. He reaches for a bottle on the table, half-balanced between ashtrays and pill bottles. His fingers curl around the neck of it and he tips it back. Nothing. The bottle’s empty. He stares at it, eyes vacant and lips curling in disgust and then—
He turns and throws the glass bottle across the room.
The sound is sudden. It hits the wall just behind her and shatters, exploding into glittering shards like fireworks. She gasps- a small, strangled sound- and her hands instinctively fly up to shield herself as fragments rain down and clink against the floor. One shard bounces and skims across her arm, leaving a stinging trail of red. She’s still frozen, chest rising and falling too fast, breath catching in her throat. Luke’s voice cuts through the moment, “You’re just like your mother,” he spits, tone low and cruel.
“Whoring yourself out to the whole damn island.”
Her stomach drops, “Stop,” she breathes,“Stop it.” She tries to keep her voice even, but it quivers as she glances toward the hallway- toward the small, cracked door at the end... JJ’s room. She can’t- he can’t hear this. Her voice sharpens, panicked.
“Please. Just— keep your voice down or you'll wake him up.”
Luke ignores her- he smirks, “What?” he taunts. “You’re embarrassed now?” He throws his head back and laughs amused,
“You’re embarrassed aren't you-”
“-stop raising your voice!”
She snaps, quieter than before but more desperate, her words shaking, “Please stop.” He steps toward her again. Too fast. She doesn’t even have time to move as he grabs her chin- fingers digging in hard, rough- yanking her face up to meet his. The pressure sends a bolt of pain through her jaw and she lets out a quiet gasp.
“Shut the fuck up”
He growls, his breath is hot and too close flooding her senses smothering her. Her eyes sting, and her heart is thudding against her ribs so loud it might claw its way through her skin. Her breath is barely there now, shallow and trembling. She doesn’t dare look toward JJ’s door again. For a moment- just a breath- there’s stillness and Luke’s hand drops from her chin, fingers uncurling like a slow release of pressure. She exhales shakily, chest tight with dread. Her face throbs where his grip had been but he let go and maybe that means he’s don—
His arm swings.
The slap comes without warning- a violent CRACK echoing through the small living room like a gunshot. Her head whips to the side from the impact and a choked sound leaves her throat, barely a cry. Her vision goes white for a second as the sting blooms across her cheekbone. She stumbles backward- legs buckling- and she crashes down hard onto the floor. Her hip hits the edge of a chair, knocking it sideways. Wood scrapes across the floor, loud and jarring and she lands on her ass with a thud, palms hitting the ground to catch herself. She’s dazed her ears ringing and the room sways slightly.
From down the hall, there’s the creak of a door opening.
“...What the hell?”
JJ’s voice, groggy, still thick with sleep as he mumbles more to himself than anyone else. His figure rounds the corner, rubbing his eyes with the bottom of his t-shirt which is rumpled from sleep. But then he stops- freezes mid-step. His eyes drop to the scene, Y/N on the floor dazed one hand holding the side of her face, a toppled chair beside her. They hadn’t spoken since their argument and even though it cut them deep and left them both angry and raw, it didn’t matter now. Whatever was said, whatever tension hung between them, he wasn’t about to stand there and watch their father raise a hand to her. Not after all the times she’d stood up for him- shielded him, defended him when no one else would. Luke staggered forward again with his hand raised like he’s about to strike again and JJ’s whole body snaps into motion.
“Hey-!”
He grabs Luke’s wrist mid-air just before it can strike and shoves him back hard. Luke stumbles, nearly tripping over the coffee table but steadies himself with a growl, face flushed with rage and drunkenness. His eyes burn with fury as he shoves JJ right back, sending him a step back toward the wall, feet barely avoiding the broken glass on the floor by his feet. JJ doesn’t stumble far- he’s too steady for that and the second he finds his footing again, he attempts to put himself between Y/N and their father. His arm automatically moves in front of her like a shield but Luke’s chest is heaving his voice slurring with venom as he spits over JJ's shoulder to the girl on the floor,
“Get out of this house.”
The words cut through the space harshly. Y/N’s ears are still ringing, but she hears it and it's like a slap all over again. Her head lifts slowly, lips parted. “...What?” Her voice is weak, barely a whisper whilst JJ’s eyes flash with confusion,
“What?”
He echoes incredulous but Luke isn’t listening. He pushes past JJ, snarling like a wild dog. And before either of them can react, he grabs Y/N by the hair- fist twisted tight as he yanks her up from the floor like a rag doll. She lets out a sharp cry, her hands flying up to grab at his arm, fingers scrabbling and nails digging into his skin. JJ’s shout in protest breaks like thunder, hands already reaching to wrench her free, but Luke holds steadily, dragging her upward until she’s on her knees, her neck straining under the pull. The pain is blinding and her scalp screams at the pressure- vision going spotty and through it all her heart pounds. “Stop.” JJ’s voice comes low and firm, no longer confused, no longer groggy and his hands are on Luke again, trying to pry him off her.
“Dad get off of her”
He’s practically wrestling Luke now, arms locked around his to break his grip. Y/N’s face is tight with pain quiet whimpers escaping her lips involuntarily, her knees barely finding balance on the hardwood, her scalp still burning from the pull.
“JJ stop-”
She gasps out, voice cracking, because although she doesn't want to admit it she knows this can get worse. Luke snarls and shoves JJ back, catching him off balance. The blonde boy stumbles, trying to recover, but Luke follows fast and grabs him by the collar of his T-shirt, jerking him forward like he weighs nothing. Then he shoves JJ back so violently, he knocks his shin on the coffee table and flies into the couch. The cushions buckle under his weight, and he hits the backrest hard, a grunt punched out of him as the wind is knocked from his lungs. He curls forward slightly, hand on his ribs, trying to catch his breath.
“Jay—”
Y/N calls out as she pushes herself up and takes a step toward him, reaching out instinctively- but Luke catches her by the back of her top. He wrenches her to a stop like he owns her and her breath catches in her throat as she feels the fabric of her shirt pull tight around her collarbones, choking her slightly. Voice like acid Luke speaks out;
“I won’t have a prostitute in my house.”
It’s not shouted, it’s spat, full of filth and shame.
Her entire body goes still, not just frozen- but paralysed, like her soul stepped out of her skin. JJ looks up at them, finally catching enough air to sit upright again and for the first time since he appeared, he hears what this argument is even about. Every nerve in the room goes electric and the silence that follows is louder than the violence. Y/N’s face pales and her jaw tightens- but her eyes… they’re glassy. Because in that moment, her worst fear is real- JJ's looking at her eyes wide and unmoving
He's still sitting on the couch his chest rising and falling, watching. Watching frozen as Luke picks up the heels from the floor and hurls them across the room. They bounce off Y/N’s thigh with a sharp thud, then clatter uselessly to the floor by her feet again. She flinches, her lip trembling, tears gathering like stormwater.
“Dad... please”
She whispers, her voice wrecked, her hands up now palms half-raised like she’s pleading, not sure whether to defend herself or beg. Luke turns, sneering like a madman, he points at her but addresses JJ,
“Your sister here’s been slutting herself out to the whole island” His head tips mockingly, his tone acidic.
“Haven’t you sweetheart?”
She breaks- just completely breaks. “Please,” she cries, her voice ragged, barely recognizable.
"Working as a fucking stripper thinking we wouldn't find out?
“Please stop—”
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”
He bellows and Y/N snaps back, trembling from head to toe. Her face is wet with tears, her eyes red and wide with disbelief.
“I pay for this house,” she chokes out, “I pay for everything-”
Luke’s arm lashes out toward the table. His hand grabs a beer bottle, half-full, sticky, and hurls it at her CRASH. It explodes on the wall next to her and JJ flinches from his spot on the couch as the glass rains down scattering near her feet the warm alcohol landing in warm splatters over her skin.
“GET OUT!”
Luke roars out again, the veins in his neck pulsing. She’s sobbing now- deep, guttural, humiliating sobs she’s never let out before, not in public, not even alone- never like this. Her gaze flicks to JJ, still slumped slightly forward on the couch. His face is blank and she can tell he's still stunned, still trying to process. Not just the violence but the truth behind his fathers words because surely this cant be true... He’s never seen his father like this. Not this bad. “JJ,” she gasps out through her sobs.
“Please I can explain…”
But he doesn’t move- he can’t. His father is standing right in front of him, tall and wild and swaying like a storm with legs, casting a shadow over JJ like he’s eight years old again hiding defensively in his bedroom whilst he listens to his sister taking the blows of his fathers anger through the cracked wooden door.
“We don’t want your dirty fucking money”
Luke snarls, he spits the words out each syllable laced with years of resentment and JJ finally starts to rise, hands bracing against the cushions but Luke is already on her. He storms over to her like a force of nature, grabbing her by the arm, yanking her toward the front door.
“Get off me”
She sobs through her tears, but it’s useless. “Y/N!?” JJ calls out, but he’s caught between the couch and Luke as the older man throws open the door like it’s nothing, pushing her onto the porch. Her feet stumble, scraping over the wood as she tries to gain footing but Luke is relentless.
JJ pushes through the doorway now protests falling from his mouth, but Luke has momentum. He manhandles her through the porch, down the steps, and shoves her hard- her knees hit the grass outside the house. She lands with a choked sob, both palms and knees scraping against the dirt, her breath punched from her lungs as she crumples in the dark yard. The porch light flickers above her like it’s ashamed and JJ follows after her, heart pounding, reaching out but Luke twists back and-
Slams a palm into JJ’s face.
“NO!”
Y/N cries out from the ground as JJ stumbles back hand flying to his cheek, eyes narrowed in pain as the sting sets in. Blood flushes to the surface, his tanned skin blooming with the red shape of a palm. Luke turns his head back towards her slowly, locking eyes with her again. His lip curling with disgust,
“Don’t fucking come back,” he growls, low and final. “You hear me?”
He turns to JJ grunting out, “Get in”
Luke mutters his voice sour, then he shoves the blonde boy one firm hand in the centre of JJ’s chest pushing him hard enough that he stumbles backward into the house, nearly tripping over the edge of the carpet. JJ barely catches himself, breath hitching in his throat. Luke doesn’t look at him again, instead, he turns back to the porch, to the night, to her. Y/N is still on her knees in the grass, chest heaving with desperate sobs, her arms limp now at her sides. The tears streak her cheeks like messy rivers and Luke sneers at the sight of her like she’s filth he stepped in and then he lifts his arm again.
Whip
The heels sail through the air- those stupid plastic heels. They hit the ground a few feet away from her with a soft thud, not nearly dramatic enough for how much they meant meerly a few moments ago. One lands upside down, the other on its side.
Pitiful.
Y/N stares at them.
Settled awkwardly in the grass like discarded trash, like they’re a symbol of everything she tried to hide, everything she gave up to survive. Luke stands there in the doorway just second longer, long enough to let the insult settle into the silence between them.
SLAM
The door crashes shut behind him, the frame trembling and Y/N is left outside alone in the dark. On her knees surrounded by the pieces of her life now scattered in the grass. She doesn’t know how long she’s been sitting there, could’ve been five minutes, could’ve been twenty. Time stopped making sense the moment the door slammed behind her, the moment the grass kissed her knees and refused to let go. Her legs are numb now, tingling from the way she's been sat in this kneeling position. Stiff from how she’s been folded on them like a prayer left unanswered. Her breath still hitches every so often broken, shivering sobs leaving her in empty exhales.
Eventually, with a soft whimper of effort, she drags herself forward. The grass is dry beneath her palms, dust rough against her skin as she reaches for the shoes- the stupid fucking heels. She picks them up, fingers curling around the plastic, the weight of them suddenly so heavy it makes her stomach twist and then she stands on shaky legs.
She doesn't even look back at the house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N sits in her car the engine off, the world around her still. She’s in the parking lot tucked-away in their spot. Hidden from the rest of the world. Her arms rest heavy in her lap and the heels sit beside her on the passenger seat, one of the straps dangling limply. Her fingers twitch, the pads of them an angry red. Her hands sting with every shift- scraped and bruised from the way she'd hit the ground. Her knees burn too, and her cheek is swollen and hot, the imprint of Luke’s hand still burning on her skin like a brand. Her head feels like it might split open from the ache thumping behind her eyes.
It all hurts.
Inside and out
Her hands weakly fumble into her back pocket, digging through the fabric until she finds it- her phone. When she pulls it out, the screen is cracked, not enough to kill it but spiderwebbed across the top corner. It must’ve been crushed when she fell- when Luke slapped her and her whole body crumpled like it wasn’t hers. The screen lights up:
1:37 AM.
The numbers blur as her vision wavers, her thumb hovers for a second and then moves before she can stop herself. Before she can think and before she can remember all the reasons she shouldn’t. She dials the number at the top of her call-list, it rings once then twice and her breath snags in her throat.
“Y/N?”
Rafe’s voice rings out rough and confused, it can be heard the way his tone changes over the phone, like he feels her discomforting silence crawling through the line.
“What’s wrong?”
Her lips part but nothing comes out just air and pain and then- she breaks. The sob rips out of her so fast, so hard, it nearly chokes her up in the process. She curls over herself in the driver’s seat, her forehead pressing to the steering wheel, phone clutched so tight to her ear it might snap “Y/N- hey, hey,” Rafe says, instantly alert now, voice taut,
“Are you okay? What's wrong? Talk to me- speak to me please...”
She can’t get words out, just more sobs start to wrack her body, more gasps for breath as fat tears start to drip down onto her thighs as she sits hunched over.
“Where are you, baby?” he asks, voice cracking with worry. “Where are you—”
“-our spot...”
She whispers, it’s the only thing she can manage, a broken little breath between sobs. He doesn’t hesitate after her voice slips through his phone speaker.
“Okay. Okay- stay there, yeah? Stay right there”
He says already moving. You can hear it in the background through the scraping of a chair against hard wood floor followed by the shuffle of keys and a door opening and closing.
“I’m coming- I’m coming right now just hold on for me okay?”
She nods even though he can’t see it, phone still pressed against her cheek, tears spilling faster now. He doesn't put the phone down - instead keeps their call going- his hearing straining for her every little breath to have some kind of sign she's still there- she's still okay. As Rafe slid into his car, his mind flickered back to just hours before, to the words that had rooted themselves in his skull, echoing on a brutal loop no matter how hard he tried to shut them out.
“I can’t do this with you, Rafe.”
She’d said it with tears in her eyes, voice breaking as she backed away like he was something that disgusted her- something dangerous. And maybe he was. But he hadn’t expected the rejection to feel like this, like something ripping open inside him. His grip tightened around the wheel as he remembered how he’d just stood there in the lot of the country club after she drove off, his eyes fixed on the empty space her car had occupied like she might somehow reappear if he stared long enough. He didn’t even remember the drive back to Tannyhill, just the heaviness pressing in on him.
He’d gone straight into his father’s office and sat in the leather chair like a ghost. Motionless and numb. The desk drawer had remained closed, but his thoughts had locked on it all the same, on the small plastic baggie inside that he hadn’t touched in months. The urge was there gnawing at him from the inside, whispering to him.
But he never reached for it.
Because then the call came.
And now, as he pulled out of Tannyhill’s tall gates, headlights cutting through the dark, her voice still echoed in his ear, this time not distant and cold but raw and trembling. Even after everything she’d said to him, after he’d laid his heart bare and she’d begged him not to make her feel something she wasn’t ready for- he didn’t hesitate.
Not for a single second.
She’d shut him down, left him standing there with his love hanging heavy between them but this? Her voice breaking on the other end of the line- scared, small and needing him?
There’s no version of the world where he won't run to her.
Time doesn’t move the way it used to, instead it feels like it stretches, she can't even tell how much time has passed since she first dialled his number. Her phone’s still pressed against her cheek the sound of the cars's repetitive turn signal filling the phone speaker.
She’s shifted now, her feet hanging out the open door of her car, her side pressed into the back of the seat. Her knees are drawn up a little, arm which isn't holding the phone is wrapped around herself, fingers gripping onto the material of her once white work polo. Her body aches in every direction, sharp stings in her hands and knees, the throb in her cheek- it's almost unbearable, and her head?
It aches so badly.
From all the crying.
She didn’t know it was possible to cry this much, didn’t know there could still be more left to spill. She sniffles softly, wiping at her eyes, but it does nothing. The tears keep coming. Slow and silent. Her throat is raw, her breathing shallow and she’s so tired it feels like her bones are humming. She's broken out of her trance when headlights sweep across the lot and her eyes flicker up. The familiar sleek black Range Rover rolls in slow, pulling up a few yards away from her car. It cuts its engine, and for the smallest second, the world is quiet until the driver’s door flings open. Rafe is out of the car before it fully settles, rounding it quickly, shoes hitting against the cement and he doesn’t hesitate as he jogs over to her. He doesn’t say anything at first just sees her- really sees her- and his whole face drops.
Her smeared makeup.
The swelling on her cheek.
The trembling in her hands.
The way her eyes, red and puffy, meet his with so much hurt it nearly floors him.
“It’s okay.”
He exhales softly, stepping up to her and that’s all it takes because she's breaking again, crumpling forward with a soft wrecked sob, her body tipping forward her head falling against him right into his stomach as he stands in front of her. He stiffens for the briefest second, startled by the sudden contact, her body curling so small against him. But then, without a word, one of his hands comes up to her head- fingers gently running over her hair, stroking carefully, tenderly. The other hand rubs slow circles into her back. He doesn’t flinch at the sound of her sobs soaking into his t-shirt. He doesn’t push her away- doesn't dare- he just holds her, anchors her the best he can. It’s quiet, just the sound of waves in the distance and her breathing uneven against him. Eventually, he gently guides her back to lean against the car seat, crouching down to her level. One hand lifts to her face. His thumb traces over the edge of her cheekbone, featherlight over the angry red skin, his touch is heartbreakingly soft. "Talk to me hmm?” he murmurs, voice low, eyes searching hers.
“What happened?”
Her lips part and her throat works but no sound comes out- not at first. Her eyes blink slow and heavy, glassy with exhaustion and then her voice finally breaks.
“I don’t have anywhere to go.”
The words come out small and fuck- he feels it in his chest like a punch, something fierce and ugly rising in his throat. His jaw clenches, heart physically aching at the way she says it- like she’s apologising for even existing. He kneels properly now, closer, palms on either side of her arms, grounding her.
"I don't know what to do I- I- dont know-"
“It’s okay- just breathe Y/N. You look like you're about to pass out just breathe baby.”
He says it again, quieter this time. As he kneels fully in front of her, his eyes flicker over her, taking in the brunt of her injuries, and for a second, everything slows. Her hands are both scraped raw, skin irritated and dirt-smeared, little pieces of gravel stuck to her palms. Her knees are red and scuffed, theres a cut on her arm, a thin slash still weeping slightly with red. Her cheek- god her cheek? It’s red and swollen, blooming with a bruised hue, the shape of a handprint faint but unmistakable. Her eyes are watery, lashes stuck together and mascara smudged from the crying. Her hair’s a mess looking like it's been tugged viciously out of place, and her whole body looks like it’s fighting just to stay upright. “C’mon,” he says, his voice quiet but urgent now, thumb brushing lightly against her arm to get her to look at him.
“We need to get you to a doctor-”
“-no.”
It comes out before he even finishes. She shakes her head hard, panicked, her body tensing.
“No Rafe. No doctors... please.”
He exhales sharply, biting down on the inside of his cheek as he runs a hand over his buzzed hair. He’s not mad at her- not at her. He’s mad at this. At everything that got her to this point. At the fact that she’s more scared of being helped than staying hurt. “Y/N,” he says, voice lower now, gentler in fear of scaring her.
“You’re hurt—”
“Please.” Her voice cracks. “No doctors Rafe- please don’t make me, they'll ask questions and I can't-.”
Her voice cracks at the end of the sentence and it makes his jaw tick, chest rising and falling in a sigh, but finally he just nods, forcing the tension out of his shoulders as he drops his hand to her knee. “Okay,” he says softly. “Okay. No doctors.” He stares at her for another moment, quiet, then says,
“...but you’re coming back with me to Tannyhill. You’re not staying out here by yourself.” She doesn’t answer right away, she looks unsure- frightened, even. “I know it’s not ideal,” he says quickly noticing her shift in expression, “but you’ll be safe- I’ll take care of you. I won’t let anything happen to you, alright?”
She bites her lip, staring down at the floor by the car, her hands clenching and unclenching slowly which makes her skin burn. She’s weighing it all, but she’s so drained—mentally, physically. She’s got nothing left in her so she nods, just once, barely there.
“Okay”
She whispers out and relief floods him. It doesn’t show on his face much, but he breathes it out, slow and quiet. He pushes himself up and gently helps her out of the car. She leans on him more than she realises, and he doesn't mind- he holds her steady, supporting her like she’s made of glass. She asks weakly as they near his Range Rover.
“What about my car?”
“I’ll come back and get it later don't worry 'bout that”
He says softly and she starts to open her mouth to argue, but nothing comes out- she just lets her eyes drop. There’s no fight left in her, certainly no energy to insist. He opens the passenger door for her and helps her in, mindful of every flinch, every wince she lets out subconsiously. Once she’s seated, her head drops slightly against the headrest, eyes glazed.
“Just one second...”
He murmurs reaching across her. Rafe's fingers find the seatbelt and he buckles her in, she doesn’t move really just stares at him silently. Rafe closes the door and rounds the front of the car, jaw clenched, hand in a tight fist as he moves because if he ever sees Luke Maybank—
He doesn’t even let himself finish the thought as he gets behind the wheel, and looks over at her again noting her eyes closed peacefully as she rests against her head against the seat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The house is quiet for a place so big, just the faint creak of the old leather couch as Y/N shifts a little, pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders, her knees drawn up to her chest. A glass of whiskey sits in her hands which had been sipped at with shaky breaths like it was the only thing tethering her to the room. Rafe is sitting on the couch across from her, leaned forward slightly, forearms resting on his knees, a drink in his hand too- but the liquid in his glass hasn’t moved since he poured it. It’s more for her sake really, just so she wouldn’t feel alone in whatever comfort she was trying to pull from it.
He’d cleaned her up the moment they got in, didn’t even give her the space to protest against him. He'd brought out the first aid kit he roughly knew how to use from times when his words did nothing but cause harm, and he wiped at the scrapes on her hands and knees with disinfectant, quiet apologies falling from his mouth every time she flinched. He wrapped her knees in a thin gauze, not too tight but enough to provide some pressure. An old bag of frozen vegetables came out of the freezer next, and he pressed it gently to her cheek before he handed it off to her to hold for herself. If she’d asked, he would’ve stayed right there beside her, holding it to her cheek himself all night until his arm ached and went numb from how long he’d been doing it.
But she didn't ask.
So instead they'd just… sat.
An hour passed, then another, and another and neither of them said a word. She hadn’t looked at him- but he never took his eyes off her.
Not once.
Now, the bag of vegetables was melted and her thumb was brushing slowly along the rim of her glass her eyes distant, stuck somewhere far away from the safety of his home. There’s still dirt under her nails and a small piece of bandaid is peeling at the edge from where she's been picking at it unconsciously. Her voice is so soft he almost doesn’t catch it.
“You should’ve seen the way he looked at me...”
Her eyes don’t lift as she speaks out, she just keeps staring down at the floor like it might open up and swallow her whole. Rafe’s whole body stills at her voice, his fingers tightening slightly around his untouched drink.
"Who...?"
Her voice is more breath than sound as she adds but doesn't answer his question,
“He was disgusted by me.”
He wants to ask, but something in his chest already knows.
There’s only one person she’d care enough about for it to hurt this much. Only one person whose opinion could shatter her like this and it makes his jaw tense as he looks up to her, her shoulders are hunched in on themselves like she’s trying to disappear. He swallows hard and purses his lips together.
He hates that he's right.
Rafe sets his drink down on the side table with a quiet clink of glass, the only sound in the room besides the crackling of the fire. She downs the rest of the whiskey in one breath- tilts the glass back and lets it burn its way down her throat, but it's still somehow not enough to dull the sharp edges of what’s pressing down on her chest. When she places the empty glass on the table, it clinks gently the sound little in the big room.
“I should go to sleep”
She mumbles, barely above a whisper. Rafe nods from where he’s been watching her, wordless, careful not to crowd her. He stands slowly, smooth and steady, then waits for her to move. She rises on stiff legs, blanket still clutched around her shoulders, and she follows him without a word. The hallways of Tannyhill are dim, lit only by the warm lights spaced along the walls and her footsteps are quiet behind his as he ascends the stairs.
He pushes open a bedroom door, stepping aside for her. The room is something out of a magazine, the walls are soft coloured, a large four-poster bed dressed in white sheets and a comforter that looks as soft as clouds. There’s a matching dresser and wardrobe, polished and antique. A wide window is curtained off with thick drapes which pool slightly on the floor preventing any light from coming in, and to the right a door sits cracked open, leading into a private en-suite bathroom. On the foot of the bed, a neatly folded pile of clothes waits for her- his clothes. A black t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants accompanied by a soft-looking towel. Rafe lingers by the door not wanting to push her boundaries as he speaks out,
“I’m a few doors down...”
He says, voice soft, hand gripping the edge of the door frame like he doesn’t want to leave her alone but knows he needs to give her space,“If you need anything just tell me. I’m not gonna close my door so you can find me”
“Okay”
She nods slowly, barely moving and he holds her gaze for a second longer, his expression unreadable, then closes her door with a quiet click. She’s left alone with the silence, her eyes flick down to the clothes. Her fingers curl around the fabric of the t-shirt first, soft from too many washes. It smells like him. Like fresh detergent and musk, it makes her chest twist. She slips out of her clothes and into the t-shirt, then pulls the sweatpants on. She looks toward the en-suite for a second and she knows she should go in to wash her face and brush her teeth. But she also knows there’s a mirror in there, and she can’t look at herself.
So, she leaves the towel on the end of the bed and climbs underneath the comforter, and exhales slowly as her aching body sinks into the mattress. The pillows are insanely soft, moulding perfectly around her head and shoulders. The sheets are crisp and cool, freshly laundered, and they feel soothing against her sore, bruised skin. Every inch of the bed smells like luxury, like money and warmth, like a place she doesn’t belong in but can finally let herself collapse inside of.
She doesn’t cry this time.
Instead she simply lies there, curled on her side and buried in the bed, inhaling the scent of his t-shirt and the linen sheets whilst trying to remember how to breathe right.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The dirt bike skids to a stop outside the Chateau, its roar cutting through the dead hush of 2AM. JJ doesn't bother to park it properly- just lets it tip over and crash onto the ground as he hops off, boots hitting the dirt hard. He’s at the door in seconds, flinging it open with a bang that echoes through the thin walls. Inside, it’s dark and still- until John B stumbles out of his room half-asleep, hair a mess, baseball bat gripped in his hands like he's ready to swing. “JJ ?” he blurts out, blinking in confusion.
“What the fuck, man? It’s-” he checks the clock behind him, “-two in the goddamn morning.”
"Where is she?"
JJ doesn’t even acknowledge the bat, his chest is heaving as his eyes dart around the dark house. John B lowers the bat a little, frowning,
“Sarah’s sleeping, man. What’re you—”
“No. Y/N."
JJ’s voice cracks around the name as he asks again, "Where is she?”
John B pauses confused, “She’s not here... ?”
JJ lets out a harsh exhale, running both hands through his hair before suddenly slamming his fist into the nearest thing sitting on the corner of the old table, an open cereal box. It hits the floor, scattering flakes across the dusty floorboards of the house. John B raises his brow,
“Dude- can you not trash my house please?”
“Sorry”
JJ mutters, instantly like muscle memory and his hands drop, shoulders sagging. He stumbles backward and drops into the couch, his head falling into his hands. John B hesitates, then sets the bat down by the door and walks over, sinking down onto the old raggedy cushions beside him. He glances sideways.
“You gonna tell me what’s going on or do I have to guess?”
JJ doesn’t answer just lets out a small groan at first, frustration deeply embedded in the sound. He sits there chest rising and falling a little too fast, like he’s still trying to calm down. Then, finally, he speaks his voice rough,
“My dad… he lost it. Like really lost it tonight with her.”
“With Y/N?”
JJ nods, jaw tightening. “I didn’t know it’d be that bad. I’ve seen him go off before but he…” He swallows hard, “I didn’t even do anything- I froze. I just sat there and watched while he shoved her out the door.”
There’s a beat of silence and then John B says, softer now,
“Where’d she go?”
JJ’s fingers rake down his face, “I don’t know. I thought maybe here. But- she’s not picking up. She just kept repeating my name and…” He shakes his head, “-and she was crying, man." John B exhales, sits back into the couch with a furrowed brow and JJ repeats himself,
"Like really crying.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah”
"Why did he kick her out?"
John B leans forward, elbows to his knees, hair falling into his eyes as he rubs his hands over his face. JJ doesn't answer at first. He’s biting at the skin of his thumb, anxious and raw, his leg bouncing like it’s the only thing keeping him upright. Then like something inside of him just snaps, he lets out a sharp breath and tells him everything. John B’s brows pull together as he listens to his best friend, sympathy coursing through his veins.
From the dark of the bedroom, the thin crack of light from the hallway spills across Sarah’s face as she shifts in bed. Her hand reaches out groggily for John B’s side of the mattress but it’s cold, the blanket already slipped down. She frowns, eyes cracking open. The room is empty. She sits up slowly, bare feet brushing against the wooden floor as she hears something, voices, muffled and low. She moves toward the door, careful and quiet, pressing her fingers against the edge to ease it open a little more. JJ’s voice filters through, tense and tight.
"She was pregnant… and she went to him?"
Sarah freezes as JJ's voice drifts through the house once more,
"My sister went to Rafe fucking Cameron...?"
The words hit her like a gut punch- Pregnant? Y/N? And...- Rafe? Her blood runs cold as the pieces start to click together, her brain scrambling to make sense of what she’s just heard. Her cheek stays pressed firmly into the door frame in attempt to hear the rest of the story spilling past the blonde boy's lips.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sheets are soft, the pillows even softer, but sleep still won’t come. It’s been two and a half hours and Y/N's been tossing and turning, her body sore in all the wrong places her chest heavy with that familiar awful ache that won’t go away no matter how tightly she pulls the sheets around her.
Eventually, she gives up and sits up slowly, pushing the comforter off her legs, the cotton whispering against the mattress smoothly. Her feet touch the floor which is cold against her skin and she stands- wobbly for a second- then steadier. The guest room door looms quietly ahead and she pauses fingers brushing over the handle. Then, with a shallow breath, she opens it. The hallway outside is dark, but not completely. There’s a bluish tint filtering in from the tall windows at the end of the hall, early morning light just beginning to rise casting long shadows across the wooden floors.
She pads down the hallway barefoot, arms wrapped tightly around her own middle. Her steps falter when she sees a photo on the wall- framed in gold and hung just opposite the railing of the stairs. It’s of Rafe, much younger, standing with Sarah and Wheezie, arms slung around them, all three of them caught in time. She stares at it for a long second her lips parting just slightly. There’s something in her chest that clenches and she swallows it down before continuing on.
Rafe’s door is slightly cracked- just like he said it’d be. She stands in front of it for a moment and peers in, watching the rise and fall of his breath from across the room. He’s asleep, facing away from the door, lying on his side with one arm tucked under the pillow. Her hand brushes the door open a little wider and she slips inside moving quietly like a ghost. She stops at the edge of the bed and for a moment she doesn’t move.
Just stares at the empty space beside him.
Then- almost without thinking- she climbs under the covers. The sheets are warm where his body had heated them prior and she tucks herself into the bed, it feels so- natural. She hesitates again one breath, two... and then-
she shifts closer
Her body curls gently around his back, and her arm shakily slides over his waist, face tucking into the space between his shoulder blades. She closes her eyes and exhales against the fabric of his t-shirt clinging to the feeling of the rise and fall of his chest, like it’s the only thing keeping her tethered. His breathing is steady- peaceful.
He doesn’t stir.
And for the first time all night, she feels something close to calm. Not happy but… safe. Like maybe the pieces of her won’t completely shatter if she stays like this just a little longer. Her fingers clutch gently at the hem of the bottom of his t-shirt, her eyes fluttering closed. And then so soft it’s almost not there at all, her lips brush against the fabric at his back as she whispers- like a confession, like a secret only the night should hear.
“I love you too."
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chuuuchuuutrain · 11 hours ago
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I liek the theme hehe
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THANK YOU ILLI 😽😽😽😽
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chuuuchuuutrain · 11 hours ago
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AYYY new theme I like
AYYY thanks Abbie I like you too 😝
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chuuuchuuutrain · 11 hours ago
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i miss my boy jayj so much. like i have to remember myself he's just a character sometimes because how could they?? 😔😔 he was the sweetest even when he had been living a nightmare his whole life and when he was about to find a little of peace and love, boom... killed BY HIS REAL FATHER
that's insane, if you ask me. and fucked up.
like i can't even read something about him without thinking how his life ends :(
they made him believe he was worth something right before killing him and that's something i can't work with. nah-uh.
my poor baby just wanted to be loved.
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chuuuchuuutrain · 13 hours ago
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JJ as Pope’s bodyguard (canon)
++
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chuuuchuuutrain · 15 hours ago
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──────── ୨ৎ HOW JJ REACTS TO LIAM’S TANTRUMS
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── ˙ ̟ !! ꣑୧ feat. jj maybank & liam maybank
DAD!JJ AU
cw: angst/comfort / requested!!
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JJ had been dealing with tantrums for years. Three boys. Countless meltdowns. He could handle spilled cereal, lost stuffed animals, and 3 AM screaming matches over whose blanket was “smellier.”
But Liam?
Liam was different.
Because Liam didn’t just have tantrums—he unleashed them.
And JJ knew exactly why.
Because he saw himself in every cracked edge of it.
It started over something dumb, as it always did.
Finny had the good scissors. Alex had the couch corner. You were on a work call. Liam wanted his favorite Batman socks now even though they were in the wash, and when JJ said, “Bud, wear the dinosaur ones today,�� apparently, that was the last straw for him.
“No!” Liam shouted, fists balled at his sides. “You don’t listen!”
JJ blinked. “What?”
“You never listen to what I want! You just say whatever to make me stop!”
And then he exploded.
Liam threw himself onto the floor, kicking at nothing, tears already forming, yelling how “everything is stupid,” and how he wished he had a “new family,” and “why is everything so loud?!”
JJ stood there, frozen, pulse ticking in his ears.
Because God help him—he’d said those exact words once.
He knelt down slowly. “Liam.”
“no!” the boy screamed, shaking his head so hard his curls bounced. “Go away!”
JJ didn’t. He just sat. On the hardwood. Right beside him.
“I used to feel like that, too,” he said quietly.
Liam didn’t look at him. He was sniffling now, cheeks red, breathing too fast.
“I used to get so mad my whole body would shake,” JJ continued, voice low, steady. “Sometimes it wasn’t even about the socks, or the scissors, or the couch. It was just too much. And I didn’t know how to say it.”
Liam hiccuped. “It is too much. And no one cares.”
JJ’s throat tightened. He reached out, slowly, resting a hand near Liam’s knee.
“I care, Liam. I do. And I’m sorry I didn’t slow down sooner. You matter more than any… uh — sock in this house.”
A pause. Shaky breathing.
Then, finally, Liam scooted forward. Climbed into JJ’s lap like he’d done a hundred times when he was smaller.
JJ wrapped his arms around him and rubbed his back — rings dragging against the kids back gently.
“It’s okay to feel big things,” he whispered. “Even if they come out messy.”
Liam didn’t say anything.
But he stayed there, pressed to his dad’s chest, heart still beating fast, hands trembling. JJ just held him. Because he knew what it felt like to have a fire in your chest and no words to explain it.
Because he remembered what it was like when no one sat down beside you afterward.
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chuuuchuuutrain · 15 hours ago
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OMG BLUE ITS SO PRETTY
THANK YOUUU!!!😛 I wasn't really sure abt the color scheme/ banner (I might tweak that later)
So I'm rlly glad u found it pretty!!
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chuuuchuuutrain · 15 hours ago
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STOP STALKING MY REPOST ALSO ...thank you for stalking my repost
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oh btw I followed you on tiktok so like if you see someone followed you that's me
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(I found you bc me and Kali follow each other and she had tagged you in the comments of a post she also reposted)
HELP I WAS GONNA SAY...HOW'D U FIND ME??
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chuuuchuuutrain · 18 hours ago
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LOBE THE NEW THEME BRO
AWWW THANKS BRO!! But it's not done yet, having trouble w the color scheme
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chuuuchuuutrain · 20 hours ago
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just found out my school can see everything I type/read on tumblr on my laptop...I'm ending it I'm ending everything
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chuuuchuuutrain · 23 hours ago
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don't even joke lad.
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chuuuchuuutrain · 24 hours ago
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reports came out today, gulp
lowkey failed math
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