ciganon

[ciganon]

I noticed some people in the notes had questions so im just gonna answer them

1) The reason why i don't know my sister's age is because when i was 7 we moved from the city and she didn't come with us, so we couldn't assist to any of her birthdays, not only that during that time we didn't really talk a lot so it was harder for me to remember dates (i'm autistic). Now that we moved back we do talk a little more often, but i still just basically see her once a week/hang out with her once a month because her and my grandparents have a not so good relationship, so in family gatherings she doesn't usually go, the only times i do see her is when we drive to her house to drop her some lunch grandma makes, because she doesn't buy it herself nor makes it

2) some were asking if my sister was my STEP sister. I mean... Kind of? We do have the same mom, just not the same dad. Mom had my sister when she has starting college and her dad didn't marry her and barely visited her, mom got depressed, into cigarettes, and smoked in front of her (when she discovered she got pregnant with me she stopped though, she doesn't like to remember those times, so we don't talk about those).

She only had me because my sister begged them (mom and MY dad) to give her a little sister, they waited until they were better economically. I don't really know how step siblings work but i guess you could say she's my step sibling, although with how little i see her because she just fights and fights with my family, i feel like an only child sometimes.

3) Some asking if mom hated my sister previous to any of the incidents i mentioned, YES. She's mad at my sister for failing math even when she graduated and then picking a math-focused career to study, only to drop it because math isn't her strongest suit. Then she went for a completely different career to study, only to drop it again. This time i don't really know why, i just know that at the time she spent an entire year not going to college even though she made my parents believe she did. Then the grandma incident happened and that's when my mom got actually offended, because it's grandma. I admit i got mad at my sister too for robbing an old lady. But, yeah, this hatred is all i know ever since i was born, i grew up with mom arguing with my sister, it's the reason why she threatened to stop paying for her apartment to make her live somewhere else all by herself after she discovered my sister was using mom's money (that was supposed to be for college) on, surprise, cigarettes.

4) yeah i admit i could've come up with a better lie but at the time i thought that if i say another lie, now i'll have to keep up with two lies, so i just nodded, didn't add anything else. This isn't like a crisis or anything, things are calm it's just that now mom hates Kate for something she didn't do. The threats of getting her out of her apartment and cutting her out of her life have been going on for years but things stayed the same, they always stay the same.

(also pls keep in mind i do refer myself as a girl but i'm just a trans guy)

AITA for sort of lying to my parents about why my pillow smells like cigarettes?

🚬🍝 so i can recognize

To start things off: No, i'm not the one smoking.

About less than two weeks ago, my parents went to this fancy Salsa concert in another city, it was an event that had alcohol, parties, a lot of that adult things that made it impossible for them to bring me. I (16, trans male) wasn't interested in going either, so they decided to let my (28-30, i don't remember, F) sister take care off me just for the week. Now, mom is already distrusting of my sister mainly because they had many fights before and she didn't want to leave her precious daughter in the care of someone like Kate (fake name). She only agreed because there was no other option.

Kate dropped college twice, lives alone in a small apartment she doesn't pay for (mom does), and smokes cigarettes, barely has any money on her own and stole money from Grandma's wallet to buy more cigarettes. She has had like 2 part time jobs before, one was working as a cashier at a market and the other one was working in one of her friend's restaurant selling Mexican food (we're not Mexican, but still Latinos, just not from there). But she left them shortly after. These aren't ALL the reasons mom dislikes Kate.

I didn't mind having Kate take care of me, but mom made it clear that i MUST come over to Kate's apartment to sleep every night, because she didn't want me to sleep alone at our own apartment.

For the first night it was okay, we left pretty late so by the time we arrived to Kate's apartment all i wanted to do was sleep. Kate told me to do that and meanwhile she'll be outside the bedroom having a cigarette, I didn't care.

Now to cut some things, Kate and I decided to let me sleep at my own apartment and instead she'd just come to my house to cook Lunch and Dinner, and then at night she'd go back. So for a week straight we'd be having lunch at like 4pm and dinner at 9pm or something.

We lied to our parents about it because in Kate's words if mom ever found out she'd just straight up become Kate's enemy. But honestly mom already got problems with my sister anyway.

My whole life she'd be going around, mad and disappointed at how Kate's life is just going nowhere, in her own words, she just lost faith. Instead that faith got placed on me, but that's something for my therapist to hear about (I don't have one).

Anyway, I left my pillow and some small inflatable bed at my sister's house. Days after my parents arrived Kate gave me my pillow, and that shit smelled like cigarettes. So i assume Kate just went crazy near my pillows because i wasn't staying with her anyway. Same thing for the inflatable bed, the whole thing just smelled like cigarettes, it was unbearable.

Mom started questioning me about it because she feared my sister would've start smoking right besides me and therefore second hand smoking.

I remember the lie we promised, so i just nodded.

So now mom believes Kate just doesn't care and smokes right besides her little sister. Their relationship is already bad but i think i just added a new layer.

I feel like i'm TA because the second hand smoking thing didn't happen, the only time Kate smoked near me she left the room and smoke in the kitchen instead (i know it cause the next morning i wanted to check if there was something in the fridge. There was nothing, just rotten fruit). But i also just didn't want Kate to be in a much worse problem by telling mom about our little plan, but this outcome wasn't good either, it was like she was doomed from the start.

AITA for keeping the lie? Should I just be honest about it now? The bed and pillow still smell like cigarettes and it's been days.

What are these acronyms?