cillianmurphyofficial - Tumblr blog

cillianmurphyofficial · 3 years ago

Text

I can't lose you too

Pairing - Tommy Shelby x daughter!reader

Word count - 1,812

Warnings - drug & alcohol use, swearing, smoking

Summary - Tommy's daughter falls for the lures of alcohol and drugs and he struggles to cope

A/N - hey y'all, it's been a hot minute hasn't it?? As I said, I'm back from America and ready and raring to write. This request popped up while I was at camp and I simply did not have the time to write at all hence why it's only being released now (I apologise). Anyway, I'll stop rambling. As per y'all, please send in requests and enjoy!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The moment you turned eighteen you knew you wanted to try new things. You wanted to try going out for a night and having your first alcoholic drink with your friends. You had somehow managed to convince your father to let you have a night out with your friends to celebrate you turning eighteen with the promise you’d be back before midnight. It wasn’t ideal but dealing with a man like Tommy Shelby you only had two options, take it, or leave it. So you took the opportunity you had to go out with your friends.

“You’re still spending the night at Mary’s house, right?” Your dad asks as he greets you at the doorway of Arrow House.

“Yeah, the plans haven’t changed.” You say somewhat sarcastically, smiling slightly when your dad gave you a look, but he eventually softened and brought you into a hug.

“Stay safe, okay? If you ever feel like you’re in danger at any point you find a phone and ring me and I’ll come and get you.” He says after he releases you from the hug, holding you by the shoulders and looking you dead in the eyes.

“Okay, I promise if I don’t feel safe, I’ll call you as soon as you can.” You nod, smiling as he releases his grip on your shoulders and gestures towards the door with a slight nod of his head.

“I won’t keep you any longer. Off you go.” He says, smiling lightly as you nod and bid him a goodbye, heading out of the door and into your friend’s waiting car, driving off into the night.

The first thing that hit you the second you walked through the pub doors was the overwhelming smell of alcohol. Men were huddled at tables, beer bottles or glasses of whisky in their grasp as they conversed loudly, each table competing to be louder than the other. Your friends excitedly linked arms with you and the group of you found an empty table to sit at.

“Okay y/n, what drink do you fancy?” Your friend Mary asks, eyes gleaming as you think. You glance at the menu of drinks in your hand and pick a random cocktail. It sounded like a good first drink for you to try. As you stood up to go and order your drink at the bar your friends all grabbed you and forced you back into your seat.

“Birthday girl doesn’t pay for her drinks.” Eve insists.

“It was my birthday almost a week ago.” You laugh.

“So? This is our celebration for your eighteenth so therefore we will be paying for your drinks.” Christine follows up with, pulling out her purse and crossing to the bar to place the drink orders. You sit and chat with your other friends until Christine returns with the drinks, handing them out to each person. You then all cheers the drinks in celebration of you finally turning eighteen and begin to drink your drinks.

When the four of you finish your drinks, you decide to have another one, this time picking a different drink to have. You take the suggestion of one of your friends and try a gin, wincing slightly as the liquid stings your throat but enjoying the taste and feeling it gave you. As the night progressed, the four of you drank more and more, taking a few shots and trying a variety of drinks. The mix of alcohol probably wasn’t the best idea but being a Shelby meant drinking was commonplace and every Shelby could handle their alcohol.

At some point during the night, a man approached you and your friends and offered you some powdered drug.

“What is it?” You asked curiously. Despite drinking what you had been, you were definitely the most sober out of all your friends.

“Snow.” The man answers simply, sticking a cigarette in his mouth and taking a drag as your friends immediately grab the bag eagerly and pour it out on the table. You watch as they line the drug up and hand you a rolled-up piece of paper.

“Birthday girl goes first.” Eve says, each girl cheering as you take the paper and place it to your nose, sniffing deeply as you run the paper along the line of cocaine. The drug gave you a slight buzz as it settled in your system. Your dad would one hundred percent be mad with you for your actions, but you didn’t care. You liked the way the alcohol and drugs were making you feel.

When it neared the time for you to go back to Mary’s house, you made sure you and your friends drank a bunch of water to sober up enough to be able to drive the car and get to where you needed to be safely.

When you arrived at Mary’s house you were ready to collapse at any given moment. Now that the buzz that the alcohol and the drugs had given you was beginning to wear off you were ready to sleep. You only just managed to force yourself to clean your face and change into nightwear before crawling into bed and passing out within a matter of seconds.

Waking up the next morning, it felt like you’d been hit by a car or something. You could barely force your eyes open because the slightest bit of sunlight made your eyes burn. After a few tries, you were able to keep your eyes open and drag yourself out of bed. You got changed and went downstairs after catching a whiff of breakfast being prepared.

“Are you feeling as rough as I am?” Mary asks when you plant yourself in the seat next to her, immediately filling your glass with water and downing it as quickly as you could. You glanced at your friend as she rested her head on the table, staring at the food on her plate.

“Probably nowhere near as bad as you’re feeling.” You laugh slightly, digging into your food while Mary covers her eyes and curses lightly.

“Fuck my head is killing.” She whines, barely lifting her head and deciding to follow your actions and begin eating her breakfast in an attempt to fight off the pounding hangover. By the time you finished your breakfast you realised you should head home, knowing how your dad could get if you take too long to get home. Once you’ve sorted yourself out, and Mary was ready, she gave you a lift back to Arrow House. You thanked her once you got out of the car and told her to rest up before heading into the large house. You greeted Frances as you entered the house, intrigued to find out your dad was extremely busy with work and requested he be undisturbed, but she’d let him know you were back. You thanked Frances for letting you know and went upstairs to your room and as you laid on your bed you couldn’t help but think about how great the feeling the alcohol and drugs was and how you craved to feel it again.

Over the days, you found yourself giving into that nagging urge. You’d go out more often and drink yourself stupid before following it up by snorting snow until you had the perfect buzz. You hated yourself for giving in so easily to the urge and how your younger self would be livid with how easily you fell down the same path as your family members. Given how busy your dad was with work, you were able to sneak away more often than usual.

Unbeknownst to you, Tommy became aware of your constant leaving the house at night thanks to Frances voicing concerns about you leaving the house every night and not returning until the early hours of the morning and she could tell something was up because your demeanour was always different when you returned. Tommy took it upon himself to investigate what was going on with you. He waited until you went on your daily ride around the grounds of Arrow House before heading up to your room. He silently hated himself for going through your belongings, but it took him all of five minutes to find the drugs and alcohol you had stashed under your bed. When he found them, he had to sit for a moment, processing the fact you’d been doing this. Arthur has already been drinking himself stupid and recently started with drugs and it was no secret that Michael did snow on occasion. Tommy couldn’t bear the thought that you were destroying yourself with these substances and he knew he had to do something about it.

“y/n, could you come in here please?” Your dad asks the moment you enter the house after returning your horse to the stable. You nod wordlessly and follow your dad into his study, wondering why he called you in. As you entered the room you realised what he wanted to talk about when you saw the drugs and alcohol you had stashed under your bed on his desk.

“We need to have a chat about this. Sit down.” Your dad says, gesturing at the substances and then the sofa, making you sit and watch silently, dreading what he might say.

“What’s been going on with you? Why did I find all this in your room?” Tommy asks, and to your shock, instead of hearing judgement and anger in his tone, you found fear and confusion.

“I never wanted to do this. It just made me feel so good and I couldn’t help but want more. I’m so sorry dad.” You whisper, tears building in your eyes as you spoke, and you squeezed your eyes shut in order to keep the tears at bay, but a couple escaped and worked their way down your cheeks. Without hesitation, Tommy crossed the study to you, enveloping you in his arms and shushing you quietly.

“It’s okay sweetheart. I’m not mad I’m just scared. I can’t lose you too, so I want to help you with this. Will you let me?” Tommy says gently, rubbing a hand up and down your back to help calm you as you pull away, looking up at him with teary eyes. Instead of vocally responding to your dad’s words, you nodded, letting him pull you back into a hug, noticing the small sigh of relief he released as he held you.

You and Tommy, both knew you had a bumpy road of recovery ahead of you. But you weren’t as scared as you thought you were going to be because you had your dad by your side. And you knew he wasn’t going to let you down; he would be by your side every step of the way to support you. It was times like this where you found yourself grateful that Tommy was your father.

#bbc peaky blinders #by order of the peaky blinders #peaky blinder #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x daughter!reader #tommy shelby x daughter reader #cillian murphy

489 notes · View notes