cimmy-obsessing-over-f1

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

an average f1 tumblrina who primarily posts about drivers sucking and fucking knows more about this sport, drivers, history of the sport, and has more general wheel knowledge than any r/f1 guy

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

Everything I learn about the f1 movie is against my will but I just want to say for the umpteenth time FUCK BRAD PITT AND EVERYONE WHO HAD ANY DECISION MAKING POWER REGARDING THE SCRIPT AND EDITING OF THIS DUMPSTER FIRE.

The only female character will be the race engineer who has an inappropriate workplace relationship with geriatric Pitt's self-interest. In real life, Laura Müller is the 1st full-time female race engineer. She got that job this year. This movie has been in development since at least 2021, we deadass nearly got this movie & this bs relationship BEFORE A WOMAN EVEN GOT THAT JOB.

We've not had a woman on the grid since 1992, when 18 of the 21* current drivers on the grid literally didn't exist. The last woman to participate in an f1 race weekend was Susie Wolff in 2015. Grid Girls only stopped being a thing in 2018. How women in motorsport are portrayed absolutely matters because it impacts how they are seen and how they are treated. This depiction is a huge setback and its being fucking endorsed and promoted by the sport itself.

They also cut the only woman of colour from the movie, despite her involvement being used as marketing since the literal moment they announced her casting. They reduced her to a fucking cameo.

Justice for Simone Ashley, for Laura Müller & for women across motorsport because this movie is going to do significant harm.

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

I know it sounds a bit random but what's your favorite face/body part of Max?

every verstappie has an appropriately unhinged answer to this question. i am no exception to this rule and youre about to hear all about it

so his mouth/nose are really prominent obvs (big, soft) and his cheekbones are super prominent (sharp!) but theres this little shadow where they merge together that is so important which is most easily seen here

it kinda forms a line from the corner of his nose down and makes a little flat shadow in the center of his face. some may call this a dimple but dimples are part of your facial muscles, this is just the way his bones are

its the underside of his cheekbone ig but the part thats in the center of his cheek?

sometimes photographers try to smooth it out by raising the exposure or using really diffused light and it makes me sick. sick i tell you. but its okay because we all know its still there

this is softer light for example but you can still see it because the space right above his lips always tends to catch a lot of light. in this type of light it forms kind of a circle around his mouth/nose. his muzzle if you will

the purpose of all of this as far as i can tell is if one was going to cradle his face gently in their hands, the pads of their thumbs would fit right in the dip below his cheekbone. his face is ergonomic probably in several ways

side note but one thing abt this dude is his face makes 0 sense. if you were to paint this man from memory you would assume things that catch the light on his face are his nose his cheekbone maybe his bottom lip? but no somehow its always his browline his temple his nose and then not even his mouth but slightly above his mouth. you would think his cheekbones catch more but they actually arent the most prominent part of his bone structure in profile, it's always his browbone and the part of his face above his mouth. again his muzzle if you will

like look at this. makes no sense. my condolences to max verstappen, he should have been the muse of a generation of painters in the beaux-arts in 1826. he should be eating cheese and drinking wine and drunkenly telling 20 art students about his cats while they all frantically sketch him in charcoal. instead he has to drive cars

we've gone on a tangent. the point is his mouth is super prominent his cheekbones are wide he has kinda arched eyebrows that make his eyes look very round and of course right above his mouth his cheek has this little dip which is designed so someone could cradle his face in their hands and fit the pads of their thumbs there and say look i can hold my entire world in my hands! and kind of shake him around a bit. also he has whiskers

like basically this is what he looks like. exact same bone structure

anyway im now deep in pinterest and have successfully resisted the urge to annotate all these images with little arrows and circles like theyre sports plays so i'm hoping i got my point across anyway. i also really like his hair because it's super dense and looks like you could pull it really hard with no repercussions and i like his wrists because they look really strong but we dont need to get into all that. thank you for the question, it was fun to answer!

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

Charles going to wave to the fans

Max seeing him laugh at other men's jokes and following him

(the trapping??)

And giving him THE tea to win him back

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

GUYS GUYS GUYS

i see the vision

ferrari did that so when everyone else crashes during the sprint we will have a functioning car for quali 😌

no risk of sprint damage if you're not racinggg

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

I have no clue

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

what role different f1 drivers would play on the hit bbc gameshow the traitors

If you haven't had the delight of watching the traitors quick rundown: 20 or so strangers are locked together in a Scottish castle for two weeks and are made to play a massive game of werewolf/mafia with a small minority called Traitors being able to kill one of the majority (known as Faithfuls) per night. The Faithfuls can vote out one person per night at an event known as the round table. They also complete in physical challenges in the Scottish highlands for money. High camp. They make a woman attend her own mock funeral. Iconic lines. Iconic characters. Great show. Go watch it. Without further ado:

Max Verstappen: Faithful but no one really believes it. Correctly guesses the identities of multiple traitors but is voted out in the early game because everyone thinks he's too forthright and is hiding something

Jack Doohan: Faithful but gets murdered on the first night.

Esteban Ocon: Faithful but gets murdered the second night after him and Pierre have a massive argument at the round table.

Pierre Gasly: Traitor. Loses his cool when Esteban accuses him at the round table. Murders Esteban only to get voted out the next night.

Yuki Tsunoda: Faithful and manages to stay in the game until he's accused by Liam at the round table and completely loses his temper. Gets voted out the same night.

Liam Lawson: Faithful and gets voted out the next night after Yuki because he was the one leading the accusations against Yuki.

Franco Colapinto: Traitor. Is really well-liked by everyone which eventually garners suspicion–why is he not getting murdered? Is finally voted out in the midseason in a shock twist when everyone suddenly turns on him at the round table.

Fernando Alonso: Faithful. Ruffles a few feathers but ultimately becomes a fan favourite, is "poisoned" in plain sight by the traitors and attends his own funeral as a reveal to him being murdered. There is widespread uproar at his removal from the game.

Charles Leclerc: Faithful but is always under mild suspicion because Max accused him at the early round tables. Gets voted out because of his "excessive winking" and him being "too perfect".

Carlos Sainz: Traitor. He thinks he can win because he's got Lando who hangs off his every word and always backs him up. Is saved from suspicion from his go-to look being a vacant stare when he's being accused. Is betrayed by Oscar in the finale.

George Russell: Faithful. Asks production whether he can bring powerpoints to the round table and is turned down. Comes up with extremely elaborate theories. They are always wrong. Gets murdered in order to frame Alex.

Alex Albon: Faithful and suspects Carlos after viewing a "poisoning" in plain sight. Is voted out because the traitors manage to sway people to think he was trying to deflect by murdering George.

Lewis Hamilton: Faithful. A cool, calm, and collected voice at the round table. The traitors murder him for having too much influence.

Lando Norris: Faithful. Carlos keeps him alive because he is very happy to be influenced on who to vote for and is decent at the challenges (apart from ones where they have to swim in the lake). He is closest to Carlos but also forms a bond with Oscar. Oscar uses that to his advantage in the final 3 in order to point out to Lando all the ways Carlos has manipulated his vote. Lando votes Carlos very tearfully, and then...

Oscar Piastri: Traitor. Is recruited midseason after Franco is voted out. Plays a quiet game, only planting seeds of doubt with people in one and one conversations versus his other traitor Carlos who is more of a group leader. He betrays Carlos in the finale by managing to sway Lando to his side to vote Carlos out of the final 3. He reveals to Lando that he betrayed him, as he is a traitor, and wins the entire game.

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

idk whats my favorite part about this- Charles doing a whole exclusive interview about Max, saying he could match his freak, that he's indeed picking battles and its more fun with Max, "Max wasnt aggressive to me but he was to Lando" and calling Lando the other woman between them

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

🥹🫦

Cr: @ povsnpodium on Tiktok

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

Welcome to Ollie’s Cat Cafe! 🐈☕️

Would you like to come in?

Hello @unlapped Happy birthday!! ❤️

As requested, lestappen as cats… hope you like it and hope you have the loveliest day 🫶

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

charles and max ft. oscar the carrier pigeon

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

Guesses on who would be more scared in the passenger seat, Max or Charles? I'm convinced Charles is more of an insane adrenaline junkie so he would survive Max's driving more (he'd still hate it though), but Max would constantly freak out because he's not in control and yelling at Charles to brake while Charles laughs at him.

no a friend sent me this and look at him. this man would put Max through "first date idea, i slam on the gas until you say you love me"

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

no shade on carlos, good riddance and all that to him but i love how at his final race, he put every single "ferrari fired the wrong driver" talk to bed... his teammate CLAWED his way up to the podium, blood on his teeth, foam at his mouth, hunger in his veins... is constantly asking about the constructors, absolutely floors it when he hears they need to fight, meanwhile carlos keeps his comfy little 5 sec distance for a comfortable podium not taking the tiniest of risks. and this, children, is why maranello is right.

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

Absolutely obsessed with how Schumi fucking terrorized all the 90s / early 00s drivers and they all raged uselessly about him to the FIA and he just laughed at them and did more evil things like try to punch them in the pits, but then when he like, mildly annoyed Mika Mika would be like “hey, knock it off” without even changing his tone of voice and Michael would be like “yes Mika, sorry Mika” and sit down quietly like imagine being David Coulthard and seeing that I’d have gone insane.

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

having some insomniac thoughts about how the public perception of the george vs max fight is affected by their PR personas, how much people value authenticity (or the appearance of being authentic) now in celeb culture, and how max uses that to his advantage….

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

where did you learn that from pretty boy

[cimmy-obsessing-over-f1]

i am never going to stop thinking about this for the rest of my life