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I'm showing my software engineer flatmate tumblr code and glitches and he just keeps getting more and more agitated

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my neighbor thought i fucking DIED because he heard a loud crash (easel & canvas fell over while i was asleep) and had been trying to contact me for like an hour anyway artistic rendition of when i opened my door

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so hard to find a decent exorcist these days :/

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I don’t know what Daniel Radcliffe is doing these days and this clip doesn’t help but here’s my thoughts on the matter:

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Anytime I see those “God that rep from two years ago was so bad” posts, I think about Gravity Falls.

I think about the fact that Alex Hirsch wanted the cupid character (who appeared in ONE episode) to have the MLM/WLW symbols on his necklace, but Disney shot it down because it was seen as inappropriate for a kid’s show.

I think about the sheriff characters, who’s “relationship” was used as a running gag to laugh at. Who’s kiss in the last scene at the end of the series damn near made people go INSANE. These were two characters who were no one’s favorites and who served as comedy relief, but it was still seen as a huge win for rep because it happened at all.

I think about the fact that Gravity Falls, a show where dead animals speak in tongues as blood drips from their eyes, couldn’t have anywhere near the amount of rep that the creators wanted to add because it “wasn’t for kids”

And now we have men getting married to their husbands and women getting married to their wives on screen. We have boys with boyfriends and girls with girlfriends and characters that are purposely gnc or androgynous. We have characters with pride pins or flags in their rooms. We have cartoons like Blues Clues that have been around for AGES making entire videos dedicated to pride for kids.

Just… things get better. Representation gets better because people fight to make it happen. We can’t act like they were “basically nothing” because without them we would HAVE nothing.

Edit: the Cupid necklace was likely the trans symbol

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i’m thinking tonight about masterpieces. michelangelo looked at the sixtine chapel and saw; nothing to preserve. virgil wanted his aenid burned and forgotten; only to be saved at the behest of an emperor who thought it flattery. kafka instructed his friend to burn everything he’d ever written - too personal was it, too unfinished.

they were ignored.

instead, their work was taken and held and published and thrown to be gawked at. instead, an emperor, a pope, a friend, took from within the cavities of them their choices; their art.

tumblr rolls out post+. twitter rolls out tip jars. youtube takes half of what creators earn. on social media, there is a ko-fi or a patreon and a polished face in every bio. i show my poems to my mother and she asks if I will publish them before she says anything else. emily dickinson instructed her sister to burn her poetry.

her sister did not listen.

we are a community, says tumblr, we should give back to creators. my last poem had 50 notes. six of those were reblogs that weren’t mine. i lie in bed at 2am and stare at my bright phone screen and the way netflix’s library grows thinner and thinner. the first ad on tumblr that i can reblog is for amazon. amazon takes more than half of what authors earn.

kafka’s friend took barely finished work and hammered it into structure. he is the only reason we know of him.

my father wrote a book and a play when I was barely big enough to reach his knees. when i try to talk to him about writing, he shrugs.

no one wanted to publish it, he says. so i don’t write anymore.

i am filled with poems I have never published, books I haven’t written. There are little snippets of them scattered throughout my life. I link to my ko-fi on my tumblr.

-

asked capitalism of the artist: what is art, if not for consumption? who does art benefit, if it is not consumed? why create at all if you do not market it? who are you, frothing at the mouth about someone publishing someone else’s poems? who are you to hate your magnum opus? what is art, if not in relation to its reception? if no one sees it, how is it art?

said the artist, baring their teeth: it’s mine.

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happy july i hate Autism Moms so much its unreal

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descriptions of dissociation

Depersonalisation

Common: ‘I felt strange / weird’, ‘I felt as if I was floating away’, ‘I felt disembodied / disconnected / detached / far away from myself’, ‘apart from everything’, ‘in a place of my own / alone’, ‘like I was there but not there’, ’I could see and hear everything but couldn’t respond’

Less Common: ‘puppet-like’, ‘robot-like’, ‘acting a part’, ‘I couldn’t feel any pain’ ‘like I was made of cardboard’,  ‘I felt like I was just a head stuck on a body’, ‘like a spectator looking at myself on TV’, ‘an out of body experience’, ‘my hands or feet felt smaller / bigger’. ‘when I touched things it didn’t feel like me touching them’

Derealisation

‘My surroundings seemed unreal / far away’, ‘I felt spaced out’, ‘It was like looking at the world through a veil or glass’, ‘I felt cut off or distant from the immediate surroundings’, ‘objects appeared diminished in size /  flat / dream-like / cartoon like / artificial / unsolid’ Other dissociative symptoms 

Memory: “I drove the car home/got dressed/had dinner but can’t remember anything about it”, “I don’t know who I am or how I got here” (fugue state), “I remember things but it doesn’t feel like it was me that was there”. 

Identity: “I feel like I’m two separate people/someone else”. 

Other: “I felt like time was passing incredibly slowly/quickly”, “I get so absorbed in fantasy/a TV programme that it seems real”, “I felt an emptiness in my head as if I was not having any thoughts at all”. 

Source: Jon Ston. Dissociation: What Is It and Why Is It Important? Practical Neurology, 2006; 6: 308-313.

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I’m telling y’all that if you don’t jump around erratically bc a wasp or hornet flies close to you, you’ll have less interaction time with them

If you’re nervous about them (not yknow. allergic. let’s not intentionally misinterpret what I’m saying) ignore them. And I do mean IGNORE. Don’t react.

Also, are you watering or generally handling a source of liquid and they won’t leave you alone? Share some at a distance from yourself. Hell are you eating and they want some? Share it.

Honestly if people treated them with the calmness and affection they show bees they’d have better experiences.

Anyway, have a little plate for the yellowjackets when you picnic. They are eating the bugs that you don’t like so offer them a gift.

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Little comic to go with the “villager that gradually changes each time you see them” thing

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nothing compares to the calendar on this site. flat fuck friday. the halloween post that always shows up mid july. you see four anime girls and immediately know what day of the week it is. on the ides of march we all wake up and clown on some guy who got stabbed two thousand years ago. last week we celebrated down with cis day. I can’t wait for ever given and nov 5th anniversary memes. anyways have a lovely neil banging out the tunes day