Can I still get into Heaven if I kill myself?
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CORALINE (2009) dir. Henry Selick
She’s got this whole world where everything’s better. The food, the garden, the neighbors. But it’s all a trap.
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*writing in my diary using a glitter gel pen* I'm losing my sense of humanity
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I have the mind of an anorexic and the body of a failure.
Oh, ouchy, yeah, thank you for being so accurate
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I seek out the places we used to love
hoping to find you still lingering there too
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I literally wish I could just stop eating until I looked like the girls he would rather fuck.
He told me recently he finds other women more attractive. Like, I can logically know there's more attractive women than me in the world but for him to say it out loud. Holy shit. Now it's all I can think about. Is she hotter than me? Would he rather see her under him? Does he think his ex was prettier? Is that why he treated me like dirt but still worshiped her for so long? Is he adding the girl he's staring at to his spank bank right now? Would be rather have her nudes? He doesn't even care about mine at all. I'll spend all this time getting dolled up, editing and taking the photos and he won't even give them a like. He doesn't say anything. Oh except he told me once they're shitty.
I know the answers to those questions too. I don't have to ask. He keeps saying he loves my personality. My self esteem is dead and buried six feet under. You love my personality, aka you love that I'm a sub and I take care of you. But I'm not cute. I'm not attractive to you. I wanna die.
I'm not pretty. I'm not cute. I'm not even his type.
I'm going to end up replaced by some hot bimbo he just couldn't say no to once again I just know it.
I don't know why I'm here. Why I stay. He makes me feel like shit.
He said yesterday I'm like hell.
I want to slit my wrists.
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Awe maybe my bf would stare at me instead of his brothers girlfriend if I looked like that 🥺
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Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk, Rachel True, and Neve Campbell; posing for promotional photography while on the set of The Craft; 1996
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