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Deborah Turbeville - Chanel Ad (Vogue 1985)

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The Hitch-Hiker, The Twilight Zone (Original broadcast date: 22nd January 1960) dir. Alvin Ganzer

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2022 tufting compilation :)

insta ♡ ko-fi

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Divine and John Waters by Waring Abbott in 1975

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Female Trouble (1974) // dir. John Waters

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7:21am kitchen eats

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Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (Lou Adler, 1982)

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wednesday as anime 🖤🕷️🕸️

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Several games have done this via /r/gaming https://ift.tt/2NUvg3d

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The Killer of Dolls (Miguel Madrid, 1975)

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Trick ‘r Treat Directed by Michael Dougherty (2007)

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“Do you have any tobacco?”

—“Search my brain. I’ve stuffed lots of things there.”

Illustration from anarchist magazine, L’Assiette au Beure. 1904. By French artist, Gustave-Henri Jossot (1866-1951).

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Day 6

March 22, 2020

11:39 pm

I laid in bed and waited for the President to address the nation. I was half asleep waiting to hear what the next move was. Finally, he came across the screen. I learned a few things today. I will keep it light because I am exhausted by all that is happening. Yes, important, yes, necessary but it can be rather disheartening to experience after a while. It seems that there is an eventuality that we all may get the virus. It just is a question of when. Do you get it now in a time of testing and confirmed cases when there is little resources and known vaccines or is it later when more ventilators are made, beds are empty and cases are low since others have recovered already?

I have a theory that would be something to consider in a wide world of conspiracy. What if, hypothetically, President Trump avoided the purchase of the anti-virus because we wouldn’t want to be bankrupted by let’s say Microsoft or the manufacturer of the drug…well anyway. Why accept the help of a philanthropist’s company that not only stepped down a few weeks ago but warned of a virus to come and in fact worked on a vaccine for it. Are we at this point? Are we in the place where we witness powerful men laying their hands down for more power?

Today was my man’s first day of quarantine and my sixth. We ate breakfast, had a yoga sess and played video games between dog walks and meals. Nothing bananas yet same ol’ same ol’.

I depressed myself reading my feed about the lack of information that isn’t being provided to the masses. It is guys. If I am using Twitter and you are using Twitter you in fact are not looking for information. Whenever the governor or president goes live the stream pops up on my timeline. All the same questions have been answered time and time again with every address but there is still an emphasis to guide all conversation to the stimulus package. Money, money, money, money makes the world go around. Then I read through “superhero complex” tweets. Those are the people who have no grasp on the functionality of industry, healthcare, politics, congress I mean these are the people who want no part in the humanity of us all  but want to be coddled and taken care (saved) because this inconvenienced their life. The government not giving industry a break is costing people their lives at this point.

I am always waking up hoping to see a story about a vaccine. Hoping that this country can hold it together and contain it from spreading beyond the metropolitan area. This is where I live. I pray that no people are walking aimlessly in the street or congregating. I hope for genuine fear that shakes people into watching the programming I force myself to so I know what to expect so I can answer those who are oblivious to addresses and declarations because I love you all and I want you to live. I want you to know what is going on because we are connected in more ways than it seems. You are a part of me, and I am a part of you because we are some cosmic fungi that feeds and breathes off one another.

When I was doing yoga this afternoon the guide said, “as you breath in, we all are breathing in” and that shook me because it was honest and accurate. A simple line. As I inhale this very air everyone else inhales even before this virus and even after we all breath as one and we all exhale. We all are one.

I wanted to do creative writing today but I feel anxiety. I am frightened. I figure maybe if I spill my words onto this screen, I can cope with the inevitable a little better. Most days prior to these last six I have felt like I haven’t begun my life I haven’t come to exist in this world in the ways that I feel I should. I am here. I do physically exist but what have I done but offer to share my dumb stories and poems to people who probably do not read them and do not care for my ramblings. I am no one out of a couple million people and I am no one yet in a sea of 8 billion. Who the fuck is Gabrielle anyway?

I think during a pandemic is a bad time to have existential crisis. Am I ready to lose my mind yet? Stay tuned.