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[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

Crazy is cute?

Nowdays I've seen a lot of post about "crazy is cute" basically, women bragging about the fact that, "I have a shitty attitude and he loves it" ??? 🤔 I used to be one of those women who felt like this was okay until I actually got into an abusive relationship. See we tend to enjoy glorifying things other people are suffering from. Not our fault, it's merely lack of knowledge and most times lack of sympathy. I thought because he found my spicy attitude and rebellious ways attractive (at first) it was "cute" until I was actually being physically abused on those times where I truly just wanted peace. Having a my face shoved in a toilet because I "got an attitude" from not wanting to hand over money I worked hard for to satisfy his baby mama. You ever been called crazy or accused of something being wrong when really you just have nothing to say, or crazy because you caught them in a lie they can't rebate??? That's something that could happen when you convince someone you enjoy their reactions to your irrational behavior. Human nature is to survive, so when someone is aggressive, or threatening, it's a natural reaction to adapt and respond. Not saying that I was the original aggressor. I saw a video of a guy being beat by his girlfriend in a drive thru because he said he wouldn't pay for her food. Everyone laughed. I personally saw something that could've ended horribly. THIS was accepted and humorous to society. But had that been the MAN punching his girlfriend, it would've been oh so sad. Or had the man reacted, and hit her back he would've been an asshole? You see my point? It's no fun when the rabbit has the gun right? So why is it funny and "cute" for women to be "crazy" yet a man is considered a monster. Remember Chris Brown? Took years to tell his side and over the years he took backlash from every angle. I've met this man's mother at a concert and although not a personal relationship was made, just the way she carried herself and through out these years somewhat suggested to ME that she couldn't has raised a man that would do something that vicious without purpose. Also, being lightskinned I do know, you hit us the wrong way and it's exaggerated damage. Point is, I understand love makes you do things you'd never thought to do. But when you intentionally ARE this way and blame "love" it kinda suggests YOU need self reflecting. Also, keep in mind, before you go keying cars and hitting men, he is still a human being, and in attack mode he is subject to protect himself. Once that happens, it is YOUR fault. And a relationship isn't for you yet.

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

How do you breathe???

July 4th 2011 I met the man who’d change my life FOREVER … Being that he had a girlfriend at the time, I respect relationships, and I just didn’t know him, I looked past him. He kept contact with me, only for me to find out, he’s been following me on every social site I had for YEARS. Even hit on me some years prior. PERSISTENT. January 2012 I was crushed from a breakup with someone I thought could do NO wrong. This man was there. I packed up and ran to California to restart my life and get over this heartbreak. Every SINGLE D A Y, this man called me appalled I planned to leave Las Vegas “over a man” he asked me to come back. Eventually, I did. Over the next few months, we grew even closer in our friendship than ever. To the point where he’d call me before work, after, and during. He asked to be my Valentine. Unknowingly of his STILL relationship, I accepted. I was too excited. In May when he discovered that he was being cheated on, I was on the phone the entire time. He told me he’d call back and didn’t. He never mentioned it again. It was at that moment, I realized, he was deeply inlove and I respected that. Although I knew of his prior infidelities, I saw that eventually he did make great efforts to change his ways and love the woman he was with whole heartedly. I admired that as well. Over the summer of 2012 with a broken heart I embellished my independence. It was then I realized, that Although I was only sexually involved with ONE man, I had many prospects. Yet, I am not the woman who uses new relations to “get over” an old one. I to this day, don’t have that courage. But after listening to my hurt rants and consoling me through my relationship troubles this man got fed up. This man, being a man told me “if you continue to overlook me, I can’t be friends with you” in lamest terms. It was at this moment my attraction to this man, who I ONLY looked at as a friend grew in universal abundance. And I was smitten. This man, who had no flaws in my eyes, was gonna be MY man. Whomever agreed or not. In August he got a place. I would come over, and we’d spend weekends together. I always told myself, “if a man trusts you in his home alone, he trusts you with his heart” and he would. He’d leave me to make runs because over the years he was known as “the homie with the weed” he was the quiet one. He was the interesting one. He was the beautiful one. Our first time having sex was August 3 2012 id never forget because it was the day I realized, “my bestfriend has become the ONLY man” we’d spend these long weekends together, binge watching Netflix, getting high, and A L O T of sex. May sound petty but enjoying his company is all that mattered to me. Eventually those weekends turned to week days. And after a fight with my daughters father, this man with his white horse, came in and saved us. September 16 2012 this man, with no flaws, had a secret. A secret he knew would make or break me. A secret he’d hid from me, to this day I can’t decide if it was for my own sanity or his selfishness. But this man wasn’t selfish. This man was my man, on his white horse and brave heart, this man was expecting his first child. She was 2m pregnant which means the entire course of our “courtship” she grew this life. Being a mother, but also looking this man in the eye, he asked me, “so I guess this means you don’t wanna deal with me anymore” I looked up and saw a great deal of pain in this man. Kinda the same when he ran into me on the public bus line on my way to work, and he? Was sleeping in a park. I put my head down in confusion. But he said he THINKS she might be pregnant and considering our close friendship if she was, Id prove a sucky friend to not be excited. Also, I grew feelings for this man beyond expectations. He walked away, and I found him outside, still with that hurt, I hugged him and told him “congratulations man. You’re gonna be a daddy!!!!” He looked at me with so much joy and expressed how excited he was to find out. At that time, I made a decision, to support this man through ANY good or bad. And I did. I got a job as a call girl and in 24hrs I turned this man’s $7.00 hault, into $907 it was then we decided that although the line of work wasn’t what I wanted to do at all, seeing where it could take us, we stuck to it. Night after night. No less than $500 we had dreams, we had desires, goals, and CHILDREN. The first time my daughter called him daddy, I cried. Because no one told her who exactly he was to mommy, but she felt love and a father. In two weeks we furnished his apartment. The circumstance was odd but we thought it was luck. One day after work, I saw the police at our neighbors door, not thinking of it, I went inside and relaxed with my beloved. And that was that. One day, he’d told me a friend of his wanted to go to the movies and he thought of going. I never been the one to pressure a man from going out and having fun with his friends. I thought that was important in relationships. Still enjoying life outside of it. I had one rule, never let the sun beat you home. Unless its for work, I see no logical reason to be out before dawn. He respected that, but as they say, you give an inch, they take a foot. His friend came by to buy weed and being home alone I bagged and sold it. His friend asked, “why aren’t you at the movies too? He took other girls and left you?” I wasn’t aware of the other girls. But it did strike me odd, two grown men going to see a 10pm movie. I text him and asked, “you’re at the movies?” His response, “yes. Is that a problem?” Pissed off I packed my shower utensils and planned to sleep in the next room with my daughter. Mid walk to the bathroom he stopped me, “what are you doing? Are you leaving me?” I replied “no. Im going to stay in the other room” first time I saw signs of his troubles with abandonment. Which regrettably was the basis of what would become a strange relationship. He took my bags and threw them by the door and demanded I leave. I tried talking to him and he threatened to wake my daughter and tell her to get out. I couldn’t let that happen. I pleaded that he was overreacting and we should just go to bed. If not, and he truly wanted us to go, return $600.00 I just gave him so my daughter and I could get a weekly. He looked me in the eye and told me, I personally had no money, and if I wanted to leave, id leave with my bags and my daughter. I went to bed. A few days later a bestfriend of mine of 6yrs invited me to lunch. This particular friend was friends with a girl who was friends with his ex and he assumed they shared information. When he found out it was this friend who invited me, he demanded I refuse the offer or he’d contact her and refuse it for me. I did as told and cried the next hour. Which for me is hard being that I never cry. EVER. After that, I told him a cousin and a friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in years, came to town and id like to see them. He said I could and he’d keep the baby. He left right before I planned to go and never came back or answered my calls and texts. I grew frustrated and when he finally returned he tried to console me with tickets to see one of my favorite rappers which he eventually took back. The first time I had a bad night at work he couldn’t believe it. He told me after working from 9pm-8am tired, that I couldn’t go to sleep, I needed to call a ride and sitter and go back to work. And if he saw anything new being brought, he’d put me out. I went and locked myself in the room with my daughter. When the iphone 5 was released he told me he spent all day finding us both one and because my phone had water damage and couldn’t stay on he’d get me one. Instead he came home with one and said they didn’t have anymore. Sitting on the bed one day, he walked in excited with bags of shoes and clothes. Being that my daughter and I had limited clothes, I got excited too. Nothing for us. Not a sock or bra. One day as im making breakfast he said he was stressed and needed “retail therapy” then asked his friend if he wanted a pair of shoes. I asked to go, he looked me in the eye and told me, I was broke and needed to go to work. October 25 2012 we had found out that the furniture we had brought was stolen property. It was also the day, I took a pregnancy test, told him it was positive and decided for the sake of his other child expecting, id abort mine. It was also the day we argued over $21. The day I went to work and realized, I was completely in love. The day I came home excited to tell him my new discovered feeling and the first time he ever put his hands on me. We woke up, and he asked for money. I told him I needed to terminate my pregnancy as soon as possible and he grew angry because his ex needed money. I eventually gave in but saw the persistence. He looked at my denial of the money as a lack of support and rebellion. He stressed that I was a piece of shit and a waste of time. He stripped me naked took my phone and forced me in bed. Everytime i’d try to leave, he repeated this. He caught me in the closet getting my daughter shoes and he locked us in and turned out the light. He let her out eventually, came in with me and slammed me back and forth into the walls after threatening to beat me with a battery pack. As I was in the bathroom looking at my scars, he came in and pushed me. On the floor I started to choke. He warned me not to throw up on the floor and grabbed my head and shoved it in the toilet. He stopped eventually and when I told him I was definitely leaving him after that, he went for a walk. When he came back I asked for my phone to call my father for a ride. He watched me leave a message and asked would I really leave? I broke into tears and said I couldn’t do this. He asked to “use” my phone because his was “dead” and after an hour I fell asleep. Later I realized he never used my phone and didn’t tell me my father called back. As I was asleep, he came in and took my clothes off and made love to me. He expressed he was sorry and he didn’t want me to leave. And I didn’t. And wouldn’t through worst times …

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

AlterEgo . . .

I loved him. HE was my bestfriend. And rain or sunshine I can call him and say anything. We'd have these conversations for 10hrs about things I can't even remember. All I knew, I was laughing. NOBODY was as funny as him. I loved his hair. And I hate men with hair. But id play in his for hours. I loved how in the sunlight it slightly turned burgundy and his eyes turned a burning auburn. I loved his smile. He sent me a picture smiling once and said he hated his smile, I used it as his contact picture because if I wanted to see anything mostly, it was his smile. He has this geeky little giggle that melts my heart everytime. I loved his eyebrows. He had the most perfect eyebrows I ever seen! I loved the thickness in them and the way they felt under my fingertips. I loved his hands. My hands are small and fit inside his like a glove. I loved his awkwardly square shoulders. I love how he slightly leans to the left when he walks because his right hand is usually infront of him. I love how it looks like he's moving fast but he's actually slow and doesn't realize it. I love how his voice cracks when he yells. It's this high pitched googly tone that makes me laugh inside but I can't outside because he's mad. I loved his snore with his mouth open and fighting him for the covers. I loved his feet. I used to put my foot in his shoes and feel like a little girl playing in my dads shoes again. I gave him little girls. I saw them as our flower girls. I wanted to give him sons. Because I knew he could inspire great men. Who'd eventually marry and love their own flower girls and create more great men. And so on. I loved his stares when he's engaging in something and playing in his hair. I loved his mole on his arm in the same place as mine. I loved how he'd stop me in the house to tell me I was beautiful. I loved how he'd stare and wink at me for no reason. I loved how he noticed a new hair do or my nail color. I loved how I didn't need social media because he'd make me put my phone down so he could rub my booty. I loved how he'd make me laugh before bed because he thought I was beautiful and peaceful when I slept. He'd tell me to blend my makeup, but took pictures of me sleeping with my mouth open and a head scarf because that was ME. He used to dance with me. He used to get excited to tell me about new rap music because he knew it was my favorite. Now music doesn't sound the same. The sun doesn't seem so bright. In his arms was no safer place. Now darkness seems more scarier. I loved his name, long before I knew him. His skin, his mind. He had me when, unlike everyone else we knew who'd come over to hang, he asked to borrow a book. I loved him . . . But THIS is someone else . . . Someone who can't use my name because he calls me whatever insult comes first. THIS person lies although knowing i'd stay even with the truth. Maybe that's where I went wrong. Being so "down" and "loyal"I became to accessible. Too passive. I once demanded respect but taking him back, I contradicted my morals. THIS person hurts me. Physically and mentally. It started to show in my physical and this person still put me down. THIS person left me and our flower girls. He killed our great men before they were even conceived. THIS person left me to lash out on social media because THIS person humiliated me socially. THIS person can't talk to me. THIS person only calls to remind me he hates me and blocks me. THIS person and his scandals convinced me to come back. THIS person uses my weakness for him as a clutch. THIS person is mean. And THIS person is whom comes to mind when I think of who I loved more than me. Our flower girl. I see THIS person. I hate THIS person.

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

How do you breathe???

July 4th 2011 I met the man who’d change my life FOREVER … Being that he had a girlfriend at the time, I respect relationships, and I just didn’t know him, I looked past him. He kept contact with me, only for me to find out, he’s been following me on every social site I had for YEARS. Even hit on me some years prior. PERSISTENT. January 2012 I was crushed from a breakup with someone I thought could do NO wrong. This man was there. I packed up and ran to California to restart my life and get over this heartbreak. Every SINGLE D A Y, this man called me appalled I planned to leave Las Vegas “over a man” he asked me to come back. Eventually, I did. Over the next few months, we grew even closer in our friendship than ever. To the point where he’d call me before work, after, and during. He asked to be my Valentine. Unknowingly of his STILL relationship, I accepted. I was too excited. In May when he discovered that he was being cheated on, I was on the phone the entire time. He told me he’d call back and didn’t. He never mentioned it again. It was at that moment, I realized, he was deeply inlove and I respected that. Although I knew of his prior infidelities, I saw that eventually he did make great efforts to change his ways and love the woman he was with whole heartedly. I admired that as well. Over the summer of 2012 with a broken heart I embellished my independence. It was then I realized, that Although I was only sexually involved with ONE man, I had many prospects. Yet, I am not the woman who uses new relations to “get over” an old one. I to this day, don’t have that courage. But after listening to my hurt rants and consoling me through my relationship troubles this man got fed up. This man, being a man told me “if you continue to overlook me, I can’t be friends with you” in lamest terms. It was at this moment my attraction to this man, who I ONLY looked at as a friend grew in universal abundance. And I was smitten. This man, who had no flaws in my eyes, was gonna be MY man. Whomever agreed or not. In August he got a place. I would come over, and we’d spend weekends together. I always told myself, “if a man trusts you in his home alone, he trusts you with his heart” and he would. He’d leave me to make runs because over the years he was known as “the homie with the weed” he was the quiet one. He was the interesting one. He was the beautiful one. Our first time having sex was August 3 2012 id never forget because it was the day I realized, “my bestfriend has become the ONLY man” we’d spend these long weekends together, binge watching Netflix, getting high, and A L O T of sex. May sound petty but enjoying his company is all that mattered to me. Eventually those weekends turned to week days. And after a fight with my daughters father, this man with his white horse, came in and saved us. September 16 2012 this man, with no flaws, had a secret. A secret he knew would make or break me. A secret he’d hid from me, to this day I can’t decide if it was for my own sanity or his selfishness. But this man wasn’t selfish. This man was my man, on his white horse and brave heart, this man was expecting his first child. She was 2m pregnant which means the entire course of our “courtship” she grew this life. Being a mother, but also looking this man in the eye, he asked me, “so I guess this means you don’t wanna deal with me anymore” I looked up and saw a great deal of pain in this man. Kinda the same when he ran into me on the public bus line on my way to work, and he? Was sleeping in a park. I put my head down in confusion. But he said he THINKS she might be pregnant and considering our close friendship if she was, Id prove a sucky friend to not be excited. Also, I grew feelings for this man beyond expectations. He walked away, and I found him outside, still with that hurt, I hugged him and told him “congratulations man. You’re gonna be a daddy!!!!” He looked at me with so much joy and expressed how excited he was to find out. At that time, I made a decision, to support this man through ANY good or bad. And I did. I got a job as a call girl and in 24hrs I turned this man’s $7.00 hault, into $907 it was then we decided that although the line of work wasn’t what I wanted to do at all, seeing where it could take us, we stuck to it. Night after night. No less than $500 we had dreams, we had desires, goals, and CHILDREN. The first time my daughter called him daddy, I cried. Because no one told her who exactly he was to mommy, but she felt love and a father. In two weeks we furnished his apartment. The circumstance was odd but we thought it was luck. One day after work, I saw the police at our neighbors door, not thinking of it, I went inside and relaxed with my beloved. And that was that. One day, he’d told me a friend of his wanted to go to the movies and he thought of going. I never been the one to pressure a man from going out and having fun with his friends. I thought that was important in relationships. Still enjoying life outside of it. I had one rule, never let the sun beat you home. Unless its for work, I see no logical reason to be out before dawn. He respected that, but as they say, you give an inch, they take a foot. His friend came by to buy weed and being home alone I bagged and sold it. His friend asked, “why aren’t you at the movies too? He took other girls and left you?” I wasn’t aware of the other girls. But it did strike me odd, two grown men going to see a 10pm movie. I text him and asked, “you’re at the movies?” His response, “yes. Is that a problem?” Pissed off I packed my shower utensils and planned to sleep in the next room with my daughter. Mid walk to the bathroom he stopped me, “what are you doing? Are you leaving me?” I replied “no. Im going to stay in the other room” first time I saw signs of his troubles with abandonment. Which regrettably was the basis of what would become a strange relationship. He took my bags and threw them by the door and demanded I leave. I tried talking to him and he threatened to wake my daughter and tell her to get out. I couldn’t let that happen. I pleaded that he was overreacting and we should just go to bed. If not, and he truly wanted us to go, return $600.00 I just gave him so my daughter and I could get a weekly. He looked me in the eye and told me, I personally had no money, and if I wanted to leave, id leave with my bags and my daughter. I went to bed. A few days later a bestfriend of mine of 6yrs invited me to lunch. This particular friend was friends with a girl who was friends with his ex and he assumed they shared information. When he found out it was this friend who invited me, he demanded I refuse the offer or he’d contact her and refuse it for me. I did as told and cried the next hour. Which for me is hard being that I never cry. EVER. After that, I told him a cousin and a friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in years, came to town and id like to see them. He said I could and he’d keep the baby. He left right before I planned to go and never came back or answered my calls and texts. I grew frustrated and when he finally returned he tried to console me with tickets to see one of my favorite rappers which he eventually took back. The first time I had a bad night at work he couldn’t believe it. He told me after working from 9pm-8am tired, that I couldn’t go to sleep, I needed to call a ride and sitter and go back to work. And if he saw anything new being brought, he’d put me out. I went and locked myself in the room with my daughter. When the iphone 5 was released he told me he spent all day finding us both one and because my phone had water damage and couldn’t stay on he’d get me one. Instead he came home with one and said they didn’t have anymore. Sitting on the bed one day, he walked in excited with bags of shoes and clothes. Being that my daughter and I had limited clothes, I got excited too. Nothing for us. Not a sock or bra. One day as im making breakfast he said he was stressed and needed “retail therapy” then asked his friend if he wanted a pair of shoes. I asked to go, he looked me in the eye and told me, I was broke and needed to go to work. October 25 2012 we had found out that the furniture we had brought was stolen property. It was also the day, I took a pregnancy test, told him it was positive and decided for the sake of his other child expecting, id abort mine. It was also the day we argued over $21. The day I went to work and realized, I was completely in love. The day I came home excited to tell him my new discovered feeling and the first time he ever put his hands on me. We woke up, and he asked for money. I told him I needed to terminate my pregnancy as soon as possible and he grew angry because his ex needed money. I eventually gave in but saw the persistence. He looked at my denial of the money as a lack of support and rebellion. He stressed that I was a piece of shit and a waste of time. He stripped me naked took my phone and forced me in bed. Everytime i’d try to leave, he repeated this. He caught me in the closet getting my daughter shoes and he locked us in and turned out the light. He let her out eventually, came in with me and slammed me back and forth into the walls after threatening to beat me with a battery pack. As I was in the bathroom looking at my scars, he came in and pushed me. On the floor I started to choke. He warned me not to throw up on the floor and grabbed my head and shoved it in the toilet. He stopped eventually and when I told him I was definitely leaving him after that, he went for a walk. When he came back I asked for my phone to call my father for a ride. He watched me leave a message and asked would I really leave? I broke into tears and said I couldn’t do this. He asked to “use” my phone because his was “dead” and after an hour I fell asleep. Later I realized he never used my phone and didn’t tell me my father called back. As I was asleep, he came in and took my clothes off and made love to me. He expressed he was sorry and he didn’t want me to leave. And I didn’t. And wouldn’t through worst times ...

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

Morgan Freeman Narrates Himself Playing Pokémon Go

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

"Reminiscent of better days"

(Taken with picplz.)

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

DONT SPEAK_ NO DOUBT 💖

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

mybeeautifullwonderland:

go to the end of the earth for you.

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

DARK ROMEO & JULiET ! <3

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

it has always baffled me ; how ARE you supposed to put the tissue on the roll ? OUTSiDE ; or iNSiDE ? hmmmmmm

(via circusfreaksnballerinas-blog)

💭

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

“they MISunderestimated me !” _GEORGEbush

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Retard

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Choose your battles . . .

the HELL is wrong with the world . . .

so im watching “the first 48” & this episode is on a case where a woman was shot point blank infront of her 3 children and boyfriend ! All over … yeap you guessed it ; A MAN ! Sad thing about this story is it wasnt HER man nor HER dispute ; the womans FRiEND was at home on the phone arguing with the girls & when she left her friends house she ran into the girls and approached THEM with the madness ! Eventually the 4 girls got out the car ; started beating her up while she sat inside the car with her children and one girl who had NO criminal background just shot her in the head ! Her son who says his mothers BRAiNS splattered on him was questioned by the police ! SMH now here I stand ; NOBODiES saint ; awaiting to stand trail for MY own case ; with a child that I would die a thousand times for ; I never have STARTED any fight that came MY way ; but I defended myself ; I make enemies because I chose to have a baby ? Girls talk about fighting ; killing me all the time THREATS I dont take lightly because when theres crimes like THiS going on in the world ; how can you look at ANYONE as a joke ! *CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES ; you never know what the other person is capable of*

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

STILL TRUE 😔

its unfortunate . . .

I think we all can agree that when you find out that youve been LiED to its the most shxttiest feeling in the world ! Especially when you made promises to alter YOUR life for the sake & comfort of the bastard that lied to you ! my daddy told me that people LiE because there afraid of the reprecussions from the person there lying too ; my thing is ; im no one to fear ; im just plain old ME ! idk if I feel good that my opinion worries you so much that you choose to lie ; or if I feel like crap kuz I believed it & thought you ment well ? For what its worth though I learned a decent lesson … MEN AiNT SHxT ! . :)

[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

👏👏👏👏👏

whats a world without a WORD ?

sometimes we come across those people who talk just to hear the annoying sound of there OWN voice ; some people HAVE something to say ; some people just NEED to release a comment ! Whatever the case maybe ; I can honestly say that I have done all 3 but the thing about ME is ; when I speak it comes from the HEART ! I rarely have to apologize for the things I say because I stand behind it ; theres some people who literally come to ME to speak up about things they are to afraid to talk about and it doesnt make me feel like a shxt talker or a bad person ; I feel like a LEADER kuz if DR.king ; Malcolm X ; Rosa Parks kept there mouths closed ; where would we be ? When I made my twitter & tumblr I did with the intent to have a place for myself & people *men & women* to have a common ground where BOTH sexes can agree ; I speak for MEN and WOMAN on problems we ALL share ; people find offense when they feel like im referring to THEM and thats not my problem ; I just dont feel its fair that people slit MY throat because I say how I feel whenever I feel that way last I checked I had the password to MY pages I post whatever I want ; if you disagree ; they make a place for haters ; its called the BLOCKED list ! *BEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOTCH*

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that awkward moment when your minding your own business & hear your parents having SEX !

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[circusfreaksnballerinas-blog]

True. 😂

FELLAS ! if you pull your pants off & she makes THIS face ; WINNING !

H O W E V E R … 

if AFTER the sex she makes this face when you call ? … LOSiNG