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this is NOT FUNNY, the dots are HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS!!!! Meanwhile the CDC is being chopped to pieces by goons as we speak — and here you people are laughing out of temporary blissful ignorance.

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talked to a trans guy wearing a pocketwatch last night at the jazz bar & at one point i was like “holy shit i’ve never actually heard anyone talk about a ‘watch fob’ before in any context besides referencing The Gift of the Magi”

the 3 kinds of trans people

started dressing way better as soon as they came out and/or started transitioning

started dressing way worse as soon as they came out and/or started transitioning

fully changed genders socially and/or medically without really shifting their fashion sense or personal aesthetic sensibility at all

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humphead wrasse

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city new new new city

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there used to be so many stars in the sky that you would have to scrape away a dozen of them that splattered on your windshield every time you drove somewhere, but now they're being over-hunted to make american flag merchandise. very sad

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unlimited redemption

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The beach that makes you old

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basically this exact thing happens in a mitch albom book more or less

dark and brooding guy with horrible regrets yells "I HAVE BLOOD ON MY HANDS!" in a moment of vulnerability but theres a cutaway transition where hes at a state fair eating a banana and he throws the peel over his shoulder and the tilt-a-whirl operator slips on it causing him to fall on the controls and shift it into a skull and crossbones setting called OVERDRIVE and the tilt-a-whirl spins so fast it lifts off the ground and carries the people away screaming

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this actually happened to me recently where i kept babbling and then person i was talking to LIKED the thought i came up with at the end, and it took me by such massive surprise bc i just didn’t think that was even possible?!! it felt like i’d just violated a scientific law

99% of ramblers quit right before they conceive of a coherent thought. KEEP TALKING

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this happened to me once and then the person i was talking to thought the thing i said was a good idea after all. But also i only remember it happening that one time so uhhhhhhh

99% of ramblers quit right before they conceive of a coherent thought. KEEP TALKING

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we already had this, it’s called the vessel at hudson yards and they keep opening it up and then closing it back down again bc people keep killing themselves.

This makes me sad both for the depressoids themselves & also bc i would like to go up on it sometime (NOT to kill myself tho!!! i promise if i really wanted to i could do that a bunch of other ways i SWEAR)

modern art exhibit titled "I bet you won't kill yourself" that is just a loaded gun on a podium in a museum

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Reading sports headlines while pretending sports doesn't exist suggests a fascinating world of magic and whimsy.

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maybe if we make enough jokes about the writers barely disguised fetish and op is this fetish art 🫣 we will all come to realize that any act of creation is fetishistic and highly libidinal

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my phone does this to me

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trying to do this and spilling wine all over myself everywhere the carpet my friends the cat

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