citrusbowl

[citrusbowl]

[citrusbowl]

so like headcount is weird bc i literally do not know. there’s. a handful of active alters at once who kind of switch out every so often (not like from front, just the front rotation.)

usually it’s been from between 4-9 active alters/subsystems. (most of our subsystems are alters with alters basically. it’s more complicated than that but functionally the term fits.) right now it’s cherry, willow/willows (nate, peroxide, orion, oleander(sometimes)), llewelyn, vixen����/vixen♥️, and kit (sometimes). others pop in on occasion, like yesterday serafina ventured from the nexus’s home on the mountain to ask for support for hyr subsystem since they’re struggling with finals stress. cherry went to help, and he’s been back and forth a bit, along with vixen (usually one at a time). we should make a post about the vixens at some point. their dynamics are interesting.

but back to headcount, we have so many probably-fragments that have popped up and almost immediately fused or disappeared, sometimes they end up becoming more elaborated, like cherry herself used to be a host fragment but now has become more independent and separate from the willows with his own identity. some of them end up just taking up residence somewhere deep in the innerworld (usually into the city, but some travel far from the dome.)

i should make a map with all the locations i’m* aware of (*currently im some blend of willow, and i think peroxide.) we have been able to access some areas and get a lay of the land of others, i think we have a fair understanding of at least some of it. i don’t know how big it is.

[citrusbowl]

i decided i need a blog to keep all of this information straight and accessible to the rest of the system. this might all be private, who knows. it depends on whether someone gets paranoid about it.

i’m llewelyn, an ageless gatekeeper and protector cohost of my system. i’m going to be speaking about parts of our innerworld, less known parts of our system and introspecting on my personal experiences within.

i chose the url citrusbowl because i always have a bowl of lemons and grapefruit in my home inside. i live in a cottage in the forest surrounding the middle of our innerworld, what we tend to call the dome or square. it isn’t square, but it’s sort of a gathering place for system members who tend to be frequently in front or co conscious. these are often newer and younger parts, before they go off to another place when they get tired of the front, or too triggered and go dormant.

i have a sense of where dormant alters go, i don’t know for certain. there’s a place behind the mountain to the north where it’s stormy and cold. in this location there is at least one spot where not even i can reach. i have a suspicion that some of our alters go there when they’re either seized by dormancy, or choose to go dormant. i don’t know if that’s where they all go.

the square is a clearing in the forest, a huge grass field probably an acre in size. there are a few trees and bushes, and a river running through. the river is set into the ground, and a few alters enjoy sitting there watching the wildlife in the reeds or the forest on the other side.

the forest is foggy and sometimes rainy, but only past the river. the river runs on the south side of the dome, but the forest on the north side is pleasant and quiet. my home is close to the river on the north side. i have a few chickens, a cat, and a lemon tree out front. my backyard is fenced in, tall dark wooden fences covered in ivy. i’ve been told my home invisible until someone is a few metres away from it. i don’t have that experience, but i suppose it works differently for some alters.

my cat is a flat brown oriental longhair. he hasn’t a true name, and he just kind of showed up one day, but he has stayed in my home since his arrival. i don’t suspect he’s another alter, perhaps an npc? he doesn’t seem to be able to communicate or take front at all. he enjoys sitting in the eastern window watching the small birds flit from the ivy to the trees and bathing in the morning sun.

my chickens are named yesterday, today, and tomorrow. yesterday is a brown hen, today is a black rooster, and tomorrow is a white hen with small black spots on her feathers. they have a coop in the yard that i made with an indoor portion where they can stay warm if it rains or snows. that is rare on this side of the river, but not unheard of for this area.

in the middle of the clearing, there stands a tall wooden house. this is where we have meetings with other alters on the rare occasion we hold one. usually only the alters who live in the forest attend them, as they seem to be the most active and aware. sometimes we will meet someone there who has just split or has traveled from the far reaches of the town or beyond the mountains to meet with us. this is rare, but it was how we all met hazel back before she fused into amaretto with brennan. we also met a part from brennans neck of the woods once, a young part named river. we haven’t seen much of him since, but we were proud of them for showing up.

our fronting space tends to look like a break room of sorts, there’s a table and some chairs, along with a window where we can see into the outer world. there are some miscellaneous objects and a couple of mismatched armchairs and folding chairs, and a small desk towards the door back into the innerworld. there is a cork board on the west wall, but its rarely looked at.

i think i’ve rambled long enough for this first post, but i wanted to break the ice a bit.