citruschai

[citruschai]

i love the french, i love the way they pronounce Rs like they're disgusted with them

[citruschai]

got me good with this whole email address thing. you make email account as child for one purpose neopets.com and now all this. bait and switch. not nice.

[citruschai]

my fave tiktok diet fad videos are the ones like "you could eat 100 calories of a cake or get much more on your plate with 100 calories of raw pumpkin puree". woooooah man that's such a hard choice, i'm always craving cold slop from a can

[citruschai]

the verticals vs the horizontals is tomorrow

[citruschai]

[citruschai]

She's an artist.

[citruschai]

[citruschai]

[citruschai]

young man. what is that you have found.

I said young man. you picked it up off the ground.

I said young man. you should put that thing down.

I don't think! that! you! should! eat that!

[citruschai]

Insane that Uber sends push notifications like "Hey, don't forget you can schedule a ride!" As though my use of Uber isn't predicated on zero public transit and no available car. As though I'm gonna see the notification and chuckle like "Ah what the hell, let's do a quick ride around the block"

[citruschai]

*offers you a cigarette except out of a crayon box and it's a crayon*

[citruschai]

what the fuck

[citruschai]

the more things change the more they stay the same

[citruschai]

[citruschai]

My casino has new top-of-the-line technology to stop heists: a montage detector. If those bastards want to break in and steal my money, they’re doing it as part of one, long take

[citruschai]

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

[citruschai]

I once fed a freak berries until it died