claire--r

[claire--r]

*crawls back from the void after almost 2 years*

Oh well hello there.

How are you all? It's been a while since I posted anything.

Short update!

I am now an adult, 18 years old going on 19 in like 5 months. And I am in university studying art (woo). Finals start in like two weeks (not so woo).

I don't plan on coming back to posting about anything jse related, I still watch Jack's videos though, but I always creepily check up on the community just to see how you guys are doing.

This community has been a huge safety blanket for me when I first created this blog, (I was like 12-13..jeez). I was struggling a lot mentally and I couldn't get any professional help at the time, so Jack's videos and this community made me feel safe. Now I am in therapy and trying to work on things.

Thank you all so much for everything, for being there when I needed you most.

Love you all💛

[claire--r]

Um so, hey everyone. I haven't actively posted about jse here in almost two years. Well, I'm 17 now going on 18.. kinda crazy to think about since I created this account when I was 13. This will be my last post, since I have moved on and am no longer part of the JSE community. Before I go, I just wanted to say a big thank you to you all, for being a safe space when I needed it the most. While I was a part of the community, I was suffering a lot with my mental health, but now I am working on it with my psychologist. Some days still seem unbearable, but I'll manage. It's my final year of school and I am hoping to get into Graphic Design university next year. I hope all of you and the people you care about are safe and healthy. Lastly I wanted to say kind of a "special" thank you to some people that helped me when I was younger and they made me feel like I had a friend when I felt all alone.

We don't talk anymore, but I wish you all the best in your future endeavours!

@jacksoopticboop @glixbitch @katiee-yuhh ( @dazzlinghenners i know you aren't part of the community anymore as well, but it would feel wrong not to mention you, since you always were the one to talk to me when I was doing bad)

And that's all from me, I'm closing this chapter of my life and going to start writing a new one. Thank you everyone, for the amazing memories that we made together, I will cherish them always.

All the best,

Claire💛🌿💫

[claire--r]

Hey, I just quickly decided to log in to see if you guys are ok. I hope you're all good today, and if you're not then know that things will look up someday. Bye everyone!

[claire--r]

Moving on

So hey, this is possibly going to be the last post you see from this account. I have another Tumblr account where I post a lot of my art and since I will hopefully go to university for art next year, it makes more sense for me to have it as my main account. This year is very stressful and the biggest precentage of my day consists of studying, and because of that I haven't been able to be as active here as I used to be. Another big reason why I ended up making this decision is, because I don't have as much time to spend here I ended up feeling very disconnected from the community and as a result I ended up losing contact with a lot of people, and that has been on my mind for a very long time and it's something that makes me sad everytime I think about it. But I don't want to leave on a sad note! My love for this community will always go through the roof and I will always have a special place in my heart for all of you💚 I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been by my side and talked to me about random things in my message box, you guys know who you are and I want to say a huge thank you to all of you for everything💚 To everyone in this community, I hope you all find a place that feels like home and may all your dreams come true one day.

Thank you for everything, onwards and upwards💛💚

[claire--r]

To anyone who had/has an absent parent, either physically or emotionally, know that I believe in you. The pain might never go away, and you might never be able to forgive them for what happened, but know that you can find a family for yourself in friends or other people. It's hard, but you are a strong as fuck person and I know you can get through this. My inbox is always open if anybody needs to talk

[claire--r]

Hey hey hey!!! Long time no see, I just quickly popped in here to wish you all a happy day and I hope your future days are bright as well, winter is finally coming and I am starting to get sick sadly, but I can finally wear my hoodies so that's a plus! Anyways, I wish you all a great beautiful day😊💚💛

[claire--r]

REBLOG: go to your blog and click the egg to see what hatches

[claire--r]

World mental health day.

So, hello. You haven't heard from me in a while, that's because of school and homework and blah blah blah, you know how it is. Today I want to talk about, well me. I remember when I was young and feeling like my world was crushing down, like there was this huge weight on my shoulders and chest and I had to carry it. My grades were not the best because I could never find any motivation to do anything other than just lay in my bed. I was constantly overthinking every single detail of my life and I was in constant agony over every single thought. I then talked to my mother and expressed my distress and the hopelessness I was feeling for years. My mother looked at me and told me that it was just hormones and that it'a just a phase. Strike one for me, strike two was when I told her about some very dark and dangerous thoughts that I had while I was having an anxiety attack and sobbing, trying to catch my breath, but again, nothing. And then strike three, my mom finally agreed to book me an appointment with a psychologist, then she delayed it a week, then two, then I just stopped asking. I never spoke to her about my mental health after that. What follows is two years of feeling like I am a backround character to my own life, like someone can just snap their fingers and I'll just dissapear. 'It's like you don't exist', that's what they told me. Worse is, that's how I felt for so many years. June 13th 2019 was the day that I decided to save myself. It was 1:00 at night and I had realised that, if I didn't take a step in order to save myself from my thoughts, I wouldn't have the chance to see a future for myself, it was scary, it still is scary. But here I am today, I have a psychologist and I am about to see a psychiatrist soon for my mental illnesses. It's hard, and it will be hard, but I prefer to fight rather than just sink in the pit of my darkest thoughts. To whoever may be reading this, thank you for sticking around. I didn't go into detail, but I wanted to share this story, my story. The story I thought would have a different ending, but I decided to be my own savior, rather than wait for someone to save me. I have a long road ahead, but I can't wait to see what waits for me.

And to you, you are amazing and strong and I believe in you💛

Onwards and upwards!

[claire--r]

@english-litblr απλα ηθελα να σου πω οτι εισαι και αλανι και φιλη μου💛💚💛💚 Επισης εισαι και ο αδερφος μου, το σπιτι μου, τα βιβλια μου, τα φρυδια μου, το δερμα μου, το μπανιο μου, οι κουρτινες μου, το σαλονι μου....

@english-litblr hey you

[claire--r]

@english-litblr hey you

[claire--r]

#SaveChuck

My poor chicken boy

[claire--r]

Ooooh tasty

[claire--r]

You can create your own family, with the people you choose to be a part of it.

[claire--r]

Awwwwwe Boop, this has been a hectic week and this made me fuzzy inside, love you too friend💛💚

Positivity 💚💚💚

I'm going to spread some love to people who inspire me and who are genuinely amazing people, feel free to tag some people if you want 💚💚💚

@anti-sharky @jacksoopticboop @huffletrax @glixbitch @spunketpunk @luci-morningstar812 @lulu-the-bugaboo @jo-ann-ahh-2 @lum1natrix @turquoisemagpie @fear-is-nameless @septic-lauren

[claire--r]

There's so many things going on in my head and I just really want to have a good laying on the floor cry because I can't handle it all being supressed right now.

[claire--r]

I had a pretty screwed up dream a couple days ago, I wish I could join in on what happened. Oh well

[claire--r]

Hey guys, I just wanted to start this off by saying that I love and appreciate you all and your kindness never fails to bring a smile to my face. Today was the first day of my extra classes that I take in order to prepare for an extremely important exam at the end of my final year of school. Also these past few days have been hard and everything is just kind of all over the place right now and I am scared that being in school will make things ten times worse and I just, don't know. This blog is slowly turning into a place where I just rant and vent and I don't want that for my blog, I have also been very distant from all of you and from my mutuals and for that I am really sorry, truly. I feel very lost at the moment and I think I should just take a step back and try to figure some things out, in order to make my blog what it once was, and not the negative space that it is right now. I also want to say thank you to @seany-boy for always talking to me to see if things are okay when I make a not so positive post, I appreciate you so much and I am really grateful for everything that you do friend💚. Okay this turned into an essay so I'll just end this by saying that, because of my upcoming exam and because I am not in the best place right now, I will take a break from tumblr, probably until my exam ends, which will be mid June of 2020. I might make some updates along the way if anything interesting happens. Until then, thank you all so much for being so sweet, kind and supportive. I send you all, all my love! Take care of yourselve's💚💛