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Real Friends, how many of us? 👁👣👁

1 of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my life was thinking that friends will love you no matter what. No, they won’t. If you’re lost & too busy “self-damaging” they will not stick around to carry your weight. They will take your baggage & place it on a trolley & hope that if not you, someone else, will be able to assist you w that. For a while I spent 1/2 my time thinking—“that’s fucked up!”. I spent the other 1/2 thinking—“I suppose it’s not fair to expect someone else to sit around & take your bullets for you. Especially when you’re the one aiming shots at yourself.” Sometimes people just aren’t strong enough to continue to watch you suffer from your own mistakes, not being able to better yourself. I now take full responsibility for my mishaps, even the ones that were out of my control. I am aware that I was at fault for choosing not to be in control of how I reacted to my demons hiding & rising time & time again. I also do NOT take all the blame. Our relationships suffered from all sides. Similar to the domino effect, the way you react to me triggers the way I react to he/she & vice versa until it becomes an intolerable vicious cycle. Miscommunication & choosing not to talk about how we feel because, well it’s just easier that way. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We all become tired & just choose the easy way out. “It’s best if we just don’t try to fix things & take our time apart. Not forever, of course.” Nah, that’s not the way I see things. You calling it quits now? It’s forever sunshine. There’s a difference between cutting someone off like a bad habit vs slowly weening off & taking healthy time apart. Then, seeing how things go from there. I’m a firm believer in doing what’s best for YOU. I’m also a firm believer in never giving up on someone you truly care about. You don’t get to choose when you want me. You don’t get to have me at my best, then discard me at my worst. You lost me. “Uh huh honey!” ::in my Brenda Lee voice:: Cause like Mary J. Blige, I’m searching for that real love. That kinda friendship that makes me believe in: “my friends will always be there & love me no matter what” once again. I’m not settling for anything less than I deserve this time around. Always wishing nothing, but love & light to everyone I’ve crossed paths with. Whether our times were darkness filled, full of light or a fair share of both. It’s because of y’all that I am who I am right n o w. So shout out to all my haters & believers.

Xoxo, Mandy 🌙✌🏾🌈💋

“I cannot blame you for havin' an angle. I ain't got no issues, I'm just doin' my thing. Hope you're doin' your thing too” ~Kanye West “Real Friends”

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Bang bang! Nostalgia Shot Me in the Heart! 🌴🌞💦

These past couple of days I’ve been in bed with a serious case of the nostalgic blues. Then today PrinceSs Nokia took me way way back as I was listening to her new radio show “Voices In My Head” episode 1 “Your Eyes Are Bleeding”. I’ve been rewinding my memories as far as 13 years ago before I even graduated middle school! Oh, how times have changed. Let’s not even get started on how much I’ve changed lol. Come to think of it parts of me are still the same and I remain true to them. I still embrace that wounded little girl that had no clue how to love or be loved, that thought she was “too fat” to be accepted into society so she edited her pictures on social media (omg, how did I actually think no1 would notice?! lmao), who overindulged in xanax, booze and weed to “help” me get through those hard times that seemed unbearable. That girl is the real MVP. That chick survived those hard times and continued to rise up and fought through her struggle. Oh, and yes I do enjoy speaking of myself in third person ok? Leave me be! I have to admit, although I look at some pictures and just laugh and get filled up with joy because the memories behind them are great. I go through the same as I look at pictures that take me to the darkness filled crevices in my mind where shame, guilt and pain reside. Those awful memories still vivid as ever. Honestly, I’m grateful for them and the ability I have to be able to recognize that those parts of me are still just as valuable as the good ones. These memories helped shape the woman I am today. I embrace all my pain and sufferings just as much as I do my joys. Those nights that kept me up as my nightmares haunted me and my mistakes taunted me were all a part of MY process and I trust that shit! It’s kind of dope when you think about how much you grow over the years and experiences. It’s like being a shape-shifting magical ass creature! Yeah we have that ability! We can change the parts we hate about ourselves and keep the ones we admire! There is absolutely no f u c k i n g shame in that! Just like Nas said, “I know I can, be what I wanna be, if I work hard on it, I be where I wanna be”. I spent years letting people and even myself make me feel like I should be ashamed of my past, but I’m honestly way too mothafucking strong for that now. I know my worth and I realize even more every step of the way. I am f e m a l e and we are indestructibly m a g i c a l! If you’re reading this, thanks and I hope I can make you smile or offer some insight in how to embrace your past and live your truth in the now! xoxo, Mandy

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✨Don’t U F💣CK w MY energy✨

Many moons ago, a very close friend of mine once told me “Amanda, you’re the kind of person that people either love or hate”. At first, I had to sit around & play w that thought in my mind. I make people laugh, idgaf about most things people stress their lives over, I curse 5x in one sentence, I’m unapologetically open w my sexuality as a woman, I make jokes about my failures/mistakes. Why would someone hate me? I sound pretty fkn awesome if you ask me. Well silly, no1 was asking you. The sad truth is that people envy others that can walk it like they talk it in their own fkn skin. So you’ll always hear static coming from the masses. Sometimes it’ll be heard in your energy field & sometimes it’ll be aimed elsewhere. For example, the other day I had someone tell me “why do you let people tell you sexual things like that?” (Ofc this particular someone was a male, just sayin’) I thought & thought about what he said until it brought me to tears. What is wrong w me? Why do I let guys tell me sexual things? Is it my daddy issues? Am I too fkn sexual that I find everything ok? Why aren’t I like most women that feel offended by most sexual comments? Why do people feel that they can just come to me & tell me their sexual experiences? I went to the bathroom & cried for a lil. I felt like someone had picked my healed up scabs & now I’m sitting here watching the blood seep out once again. I then spoke to a magic filled, Cancer male friend of mine who brought me back to my reality. He looked at me & said a few very simple sentences. “Amanda who the fuck cares what anyone thinks? You are the way you are. Fuck it!” ~Keywords: FUCK it!~ Then I spoke to my lil Libra who simply speaks & harmonizes balance within me. She asked, “Amanda are you happy that way? Then don’t change for anyone!” I started to fall back into my power. How did I let someone make me feel like I should be ashamed of who I am? FUCK that!✨ Sorry I’m SO openly accepting of my sexuality that it makes you feel uncomfortable. Sorry that I can’t say comments w out you overthinking them in your mind, sorry, not sorry actually. ✨ I am a strong, powerful, sexual, magical, female, goddess, light being! I am NOT fkn weak & when I feel like I am being disrespected or someone crossed the line w their mouthful of comments directed at me then I will most definitely fill my mouth w a few fkn “back the fuck up” words for them. Otherwise, feel free to let out your thoughts & share them w me. I am not easily offended. It makes no difference to me whether you are female or male. If I have been given the chance to help others or be their scapegoat so they can finally release, then here I am. Now, here’s the plot twist. I won’t say most because not every male is the same, but many of them will see you in a different light because that is what society has carved into their psyches. This is another reason why my mind caused tears to flow from my lacrimal glands that day. Society has looked down upon women that have been openly sexual for centuries! This causes a domino effect of people judging these women & labeling them as “easy” & slut shaming them. Why aren’t people the same way w men? Good fkn question! Again, this dates back to fkn eonZzZz ago! Men were always the “dominant” species free to over-sexualize women & do as they please w as many as they’d like & be looked at as a “ true macho”. Hell fuck no! Not anymore! So, prepárate because this world full of openly sexual, beautiful goddesses are NOW & forever will be the dominant species! So, take up your time & think what you want of me, mumble under your breath, make assumptions of who I am, give me those “mal de ojo” looks. Just know that this bruja bitch right here has a shimmering, purple, fluorescent energy field that wards off all of your pettiness. I am happy in my own skin & I’ll be damned if I ever let anyone shake me off my Capricorn ground! Yeah, I’m human I’ll let the tides get me emoceanal at times, but I will never let this wave crash! 🌊

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It’s been a while since I published anything on WordPress! Getting back into it again! Follow me 🤗

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Ten core principles necessary for the remodeling of your brain to take place:

1. Change is mostly limited to those situations in which the brain is in the mood for it.

If you are alert, on the ball, engaged, motivated, ready for action, the brain releases the neurochemicals necessary to enable brain change. When disengaged, inattentive, distracted, or doing something without thinking that requires no real effort, your neuroplastic switches are “off.”

2. The harder you try, the more you’re motivated, the more alert you are, and the better (or worse) the potential outcome, the bigger the brain change.

If you’re intensely focused on the task and really trying to master something for an important reason, the change experienced will be greater.

3. What actually changes in the brain are the strengths of the connections of neurons that are engaged together, moment by moment, in time.

The more something is practiced, the more connections are changed and made to include all elements of the experience (sensory info, movement, cognitive patterns). You can think of it like a “master controller” being formed for that particular behavior which allows it to be performed with remarkable facility and reliability over time.

4. Learning-driven changes in connections increase cell-to-cell cooperation which is crucial for increasing reliability.

Merzenich explains this by asking you to imagine the sound of a football stadium full of fans all clapping at random versus the same people clapping in unison. He explains, “The more powerfully coordinated your [nerve cell] teams are, the more powerful and more reliable their behavioral productions.”

5. The brain also strengthens its connections between teams of neurons representing separate moments of successive things that reliably occur in serial time.

This allows your brain to predict what happens next and have a continuous “associative flow.” Without this ability, your stream of consciousness would be reduced to “a series of separate, stagnating puddles,” explains Merzenich.

6. Initial changes are temporary.

Your brain first records the change, then determines whether it should make the change permanent or not. It only becomes permanent if your brain judges the experience to be fascinating or novel enough or if the behavioral outcome is important, good or bad.

7. The brain is changed by internal mental rehearsal in the same ways and involving precisely the same processes that control changes achieved through interactions with the external world.

According to Merzenich, “You don’t have to move an inch to drive positive plastic change in your brain. Your internal representations of things recalled from memory work just fine for progressive brain plasticity-based learning.”

8. Memory guides and controls most learning.

As you learn a new skill, your brain takes note of and remembers the good attempts, while discarding the not-so-good trys. Then, it recalls the last good pass, makes incremental adjustments, and progressively improves.

9. Every movement of learning provides a moment of opportunity for the brain to stabilize – and reduce the disruptive power of – potentially interfering backgrounds or “noise.”

Each time your brain strengthens a connection to advance your mastery of a skill, it also weakens other connections of neurons that weren’t used at that precise moment. This negative plastic brain change erases some of the irrelevant or interfering activity in the brain.

10. Brain plasticity is a two-way street; it is just as easy to generate negative changes as it is positive ones.

You have a “use it or lose it” brain. It’s almost as easy to drive changes that impair memory and physical and mental abilities as it is to improve these things. Merzenich says that older people are absolute masters at encouraging plastic brain change in the wrong direction.

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Reciprocity  |  @wnq-psychology  |  @fyp-psychology

From the Poster Series: Science of Persuasion 

via @fy-perspectives

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🔹🔷🔹The Healer🔹🔷🔹