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04.06.24
It was a pleasure to be able to indulge in this book again. Teal Swan brings about many points of the human experience that it's important for personal growth into relationships, healing or discover trauma and personal truths while paving a way to understanding the steps to move forward.
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03.31.24
Reimagining my new space has taken much of my time. When thinking about how I want to not only use the space, but occupy it there's a slight pause; because the esthetics part is always a huge factor. Since being with my partner now for 4 years its hard to enter the 5th year into these conversations about the space, were going to one day occupy together, but also how this space can look for us as individuals. Having a husband who is sincerely dedicated to music, artistic creations, and has an abundant amount of music instruments; while also, having tool boxes for his job as a mechanic is a manly space I don't always feel comfortable in. Although, a new territory for myself in the sense I've never shared space with a man, the moment holds a special place in my heart; because I want us to both live happily together while being able to continue our passions or hobbies. Simplicity is the goal but the outcome is unknown for the moment...
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03.29.24
Spring Break,
I've been all over the place lately. Between the pieces of moments in my life where the opportunities I chased turned out to be empty spaces with no room to grow to new unknown horizons that seem to be big enough that a feeling of overwhelming emotion comes over me. In this space I've been able to understand how these moments have changed and altered my life and continued to press towards a better day. The challenges of life are unknown to us but how we choose each decision is still a matter of reason or fate. I've started with small changes like going to a new nail salon and parting ways by realizing that even though a space can be comfortable by either being easy to access or the simple familiarity of the space itself it became important to grow from the space and leave it behind. Already 3 months into the year 2024 and many beautiful moments have been created. Finally got to participate in a Teal Swan Workshop and got to see what her space was all about while inviting my partner into this space. The moment itself was challenging to get into and alongside my partner this moment created a visible moment between us that only God can understand because we were both is this new space. With already so much going on between us the Teal Swan Workshop might have been the right or wrong thing to do at that moment in our relationship but we managed to get through the whole 8 hours. We've come a long way from the beginning and through this all we've managed to be together today and tomorrow again. I hope. Relationships have never been my strong suit but with my current partner I've really made drastic changes to how I handle relationships and he's helped me grow into spaces I've never been before. There is a current bittersweet taste to our relationship right now. Step by step I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel and finally think I've seen a place of belonging. In an ever-changing world its easy to lose focus, motivation and dreams can easily dry up within the clouds. Continuing to read and take notes of my favorite books while growing a tiny family. The dynamics of my family are no where near perfect but these is a sense of belonging in this space. Shame and fear are topics that have been on my mind lately and some of the new Teal Swan videos have helped the process of discerning why these feelings are arising. The longer I'm able to stay in these new uncomfortable spaces I'm able to grow a little more and endure another day. Although I've dedicated no time to producing any content I remain sure that there will be a moment where all my ideas will be able to reach the destination. Warm regards!
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01.19.24
Time is one of my favorite topics to lean into when I write because time is a principle in every person views differently. Time is interchangeable and can be different at certain moments. One of the greatest examples are when were experiencing quality time with a loved one. These moments in unity with someone deeply changes ones perception of time. From the unlimited time spend enjoying the others persons delightful kisses, to cuddling or sharing a meal together the time continues to go but the principle is shared differently by the individuals. Coming forward to the topic of time I've discovered how amazing it can be when shared with someone you love and how empty moments can become when we focus on time deeply disregarding how we can make moments together more valuable. Another example is when you've set a designed task with the expectation that a certain amount of work is to be completed within a timeframe. The agony experienced when one has to focus on time deeply versus at leisure is quality time spend differently. Finally, the final contraction of time is the inevitable factor of it will continue to pass others even after we've exhausted ourselves being run by it. Take one day at a time and enjoy the present.
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11.24.23
Beginning new year is always a bittersweet moment in my life. The memories of the previous years get heavy on my heart as the time passes and my eyes tend to lean towards the past for sweet moment to reminisce on. The day to day moments are enjoyed by spending time thinking of what is next and looking towards the future. It's interesting to make plans and actually have moments to realize them into reality. Upcoming this year is much time spend calmly thinking, planning and making sincere commitments. Much of the career growth experience that have led into the current position inside the job I'm working in have made me realize that some doors just stay shut and others are to walk into to fully mature. No matter how much literature exists there is always a place to stand to figure what the next move is going to be but some moments are taken daily and enjoyed. The growth on my part has come from a personal side where the happiest moments came from another person. Relationships are a part of my life which have had much value but there hasn't been a person to fill the need inside my heart for love until now and I'm almost sure I'm ready to settle down with someone. Vulnerabilities happen to pop up the most when you're in a relationship with someone you admire, treasure or truly have genuine desire to keep a hold on. Time and effort by both parties its important to keep a track of when busy schedules tend to interrupt any idea of giving love a second look. Respect for personal spaces, schedules, and interest its an area of growth I've been able to master. The real chemistry lies in the intimate moments that unite two people and the time each chooses to give one another. I've gained confidence in God's ability to read through my deceitful heart and gather its true desires because I've had some of the most special gifts come from him directly. The walk with Jesus is unlike any other and despite any prayers he answers it's the walk that's the most important. Looking forward to this new year!
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8.25.23
It's already been a few months at work and it's going fantastic. Between all the ups and downs of aviation it is just the beginning of where to go into the field. I'm doing aviation and criminal justice with a little bit of finances and increasing my portfolio investments. Overall the hottest summer in record history with peaking numbers of heat waves and the numbers continue to increase. There is a leaking desire to expand but the desire wanes after hours of long studying or getting caught up in the everyday tasks of family life. Dreaming through ideas of what my future will look like I find empty spaces that I fill with notes on books I could be reading at the moment. My consistency at the gym has been increasing but my desire again wanes depending on my sleep or food pattern.
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