clearlysparklycandy

[clearlysparklycandy]

My new letter pocket with snail mail goodies for a penpal.

[clearlysparklycandy]

My new postage stamps

[clearlysparklycandy]

Paper pocket with letter for my Australian penpal

[clearlysparklycandy]

One of my fave rubber stamps and envies I´ve done

[clearlysparklycandy]

[clearlysparklycandy]

My new stamps arrived today! Yay!

[clearlysparklycandy]

My outgoing mail

[clearlysparklycandy]

[clearlysparklycandy]

What to expect from an Austrian bureaucracy while you are expecting

No matter how much you think you are informed, there´s always something you didn´t find out.

During my first pregnancy, I´ve heard from other fresh parents that, as everything in Austria, there´s a lot of bureaucracy after birth. To start with I have to make sure I have all the stamps from my gynecologist in my Mutter-Kind-Pass and all the required examinations done according to the pregnancy months listed inside. And how hard can that actually be?

I made sure that my gynecologist or his assistant haven´t forgotten to stamp or write anything. So I was very proud of myself when going to WGKK to hand over the first stamped page and extend my maternity leave. I waited for about 1,5 hours but didn´t bother me knowing I´m done with this for the next couple of months. And then something happened like it usually does (mostly in movies). As soon as I sat down with at the officials´ desk, I was sent out even faster. I had all the stamps on the front side and on the back side of Mutter-Kind-pass as well as all the examinations filled in but there was one critical page. And that was the page (see photo) where you didn´t have to stamp anything but there was missing one examination of my weight and blood pressure. I didn´t really make any sense what kind of relevance does it have! I was kicked out (with other 2 women who apparently didn´t know something like me) as the history of my blood pressure and weight was also one of the crucial things for maternity leave. Since I was completely new to all these things, I waited until the next opening hours of my gyn which was the next day where his assistant just filled the missing row with a pen. She wrote any date (like anyone´s really reading it), copied my last weight and made up my blood pressure. That was it. Afterwards, I felt even more dumb as I could have done it on my own not waste my time going to the gyn. The next day I went to the WGKK in Adreasgasse 3 again, waited again quite long, mostly standing as there was no free seat but I handed required paper.

It took me 3 days to submit 1 stamped page to WGKK to get my maternity leave extended. I suppose it was not enough that I was pregnant, carried that kid for 9 months, dealt with bunch of other things during pregnancy, was giving birth 36 hours and now when the baby is born, instead of focusing mostly on him, I had to EARN maternity leave as apparently, I hadn´t done enough to get it.

[clearlysparklycandy]

Not an easy choice but a relief one

When I was pregnant for the 1st time, I was doing all the things I was told by my gynecologist. I was torn out between my daily obligations, appointments and the need to sleep that my body was yearning for.  As I got pregnant for the second time I´ve told myself I´ll do my best to minimize the stress and will take care of myself right away. It was all fine at the start until I got into this vicious stressful circle calling one-month-long family flu & dealing with nervous boss & doctors & pregnancy. It wasn´t enough having fever together with my 3-year-old kid & husband (even grandma who came to help out and got infected), my nervous boss was yelling at me thinking I´m pretending to be ill before Christmas, later giving me a quilt trip for leaving a team earlier and not understanding why I do not have enough energy to work physical job while being ill and even when I´m not ill. Addition to that gynecologist assigns me a blood check, nuchal scan, then regular gyn check, then organ scan, blood sugar check. Geez! Dealing with the family flu, work, pregnant myself being ill and so many check-ups started giving me a headache. On course I got the fever on the day of my nuchal scan appointment, my boss mobbing me plus I was stressed out as I couldn´t make it to the scan, which of course needs to be done in a particular period of time. After getting out of this crazy period, I´ve arranged sick leave due to pregnancy to get myself together. The only things left to be done were pregnancy examinations. To be honest, just going to the gyn regularly is enough for me, anything additional was just too much for me. Then I started thinking do I really need to do nuchal scan and organ scan? Not only they cost loads of money, 100-200 Euro per scan but do they help or make additional stress? When it´s all fine, you´re happy. But let´s say you do a nuchal scan which only calculates the probability for a Down Syndrome, you´re told that there´s a probability your unborn baby will be born with the Syndrome? You have signed a paper before the scan that it is only an estimation and does not have to be right. So why should I do it then? After hearing bad news, even with the lowest probability, you´ll freak out, won´t sleep at night and the whole pregnancy you´ll be so stressed out that in the end that will do you more harm than given estimation. I wonder myself how this estimation really helps? After hearing bad news, you do another type of tests which are also not 100% accurate but 99%. The worst thing in this story is, what´s the right solution for it? When you have cancer, you go for chemo, surgery etc. If you´re told there´s 50% chance you have it, you do not know what to do because it´s not 100% sure. In this case, it´s all up to you. You have to decide whether to abort or not. Gyn´s answer to my question about this issue was: It also helps you prepare after pregnancy! Prepare for what? For problems in such a short period of time? Can you actually prepare for that? How do you prepare for it mentally? Seems like a mystery to me.

Friend´s close friend was in a situation where all the tests showed the very high probability of a Down Syndrome. I´m sure she lost 10 years of her life worrying during pregnancy, decided to keep the baby and at the end she got a healthy girl. Not to mention the cases where all tests are fine until birth shows a different picture. Also a couple I know was shown on organ scan that their baby has an inborn physical defect and will need a surgery. They have worked so much on preparing for procedures, not to mention the emotional stress. The baby was born healthy and the doctor was wrong. I´m glad it turned out well for them, but I´m sure they try to forget the period of pregnancy. Another case that I know of this the unborn baby who had serious defects that were shown right away at the regular gyn ultrasound. It proved right after birth so they did necessary surgeries. Now I´m wondering do I really need to go to the other side of the town for an organ scan, pay 180 Euro for something which is not black or white and can´t guarantee a 100% certainty. The funniest thing of all, I recently found out that in 30% of cases gynecologist predicts the wrong sex of the baby which seems so obvious and easy in this day and the age of technology. I´m not even going to mention something more complex like genetic defects.

As for me, I´ve decided to cancel additional scans and saved myself of stress & appointments. Instead, I´ll do something better for my body and my baby during that little bit of free time that I find. I´ll stay in bed, watch chick flicks, read and write. :) And hope for the best!

[clearlysparklycandy]

Holiday packing dilemma: What (not) to bring?

Packing suitcases for the seaside recently got me thinking a lot. As usual, before going on a trip I don’t have time to pack things the day before. I get to work the worst shift and overtime, which is the reason why I start two weeks in advance by slowly selecting a pile of my clothes and adding the rest to the list. It ́s not the first time we are going on a trip with a child, but it ́s the first time going to the seaside. My hubby and I talked about what we would need to bring for a little one, because that ́s always the biggest issue. When it comes to us, we can both travel with a backpack only.

At first I was thinking about all the stuff people usually carry to the beach; like air beds, plastic boats, all kind of toys for children, etc. The more I kept thinking about it, the more nervous it made me feel. In the end, we agreed not to take any toys, only a bear (which is a must for a sleep), a plastic ball we bought for 1.49 Euro on sale, and a book with songs he likes us to sing. There will be enough junk in the apartment that he can play with like plastic bottles and similar stuff which are his fave. Also, we are flying which is great motivation for limiting unnecessary luggage! I remember many people with children saying you need a huge car for this and that, you can ́t leave home without millions of gadgets, otherwise it won ́t be a holiday, as kids need to play and be entertained and whoever knows what. And adding to it: „You ́ll see!“ And I saw some of those full cars, which scared me, as someone needs to pack and unpack all that stuff. And who is it going to be that person in my case?

Maybe that ́s the truth for most people and their children, but to be honest, too many things make me stressed. The more things I have to bring, the more stress they create. Why? I don ́t really see it as a holiday if I can ́t just get out of the apartment without packing for an hour, collecting numerous things around the room, hoping they will make my child more comfortable, and he ́ll play while I suntan. Yeah right! The longest interest he has in any toy is a week, and if I really think about it, at home he plays with the vacuum cleaner, plastic plates and forks, the colorful paper I always try to hide from him (which I use for wrapping gifts), and any of the other things we use on a daily basis. I don ́t remember him playing with his current toys more than five minutes. So why do I need them? Every time we’re in the park, he has more interest in other kids ́ toys than his own. It ́s not going to be any different if we change location. Good thing is he loves water and can play with it for hours and there ́s a plenty of sea! Depending on to many things does not make me free as I need to think about them as well and I do not want to think a lot. Thinking doesn ́t really relaxes me.

I remember going to the beach as a child. Every year we spent a month along the coast. Going to the beach was as simple as carrying a towel and some fruit for a snack. We could carry anything else we wanted, but under the condition that we carry it, not our parents. On the first day, I would take extra things but later on, not really. Many times I lost interest, as I didn ́t feel like walking loaded down with all that stuff. And there was nooo way we ́d go to the beach by car. You ́re on vacation: you need to walk and breathe fresh air. A car was for lazy people, as my parents used to say. When I look back, I cannot honestly remember that I was ever bored without those toys or without air mattresses. We laid on the pebble beach, as this was healthier. (Like a massage!) We never wore plastic shoes for the water. (Because they would give you flat feet.) We were chasing each other barefoot on the stones, played volleyball, football, or simply spent as much time as possible in the water. We always found humor in seeing tourists in plastic sandals in various colors trying to get into the sea; all insecure tip­toeing on those small rocks they considered to be sharp. And what did we do? Just ran into the sea without worrying about rocks, and threw ourselves into the water, spraying everyone around. Who ever found pebble beaches not walkable? I don ́t remember wearing shoes. We found our own entertainment, never needed other things to be entertained, because our creative minds did their jobs. If I was fine back then, I am sure my child will be too.

After we finalized what (not) to bring, the best idea of all came to our minds: we invited grandma to join us! A good friend of mine told me about this little trick, and I was wondering how I hadn ́t come up with such a brilliant idea on my own! My hubby says he never thought he ́d be that happy seeing his mother-­in-­law. I wonder why. We believe the benefits will be felt on both sides. She doesn ́t get to see her grandchild that often, but loves to spend time with him. At the same time, she ́s at the seaside. She’s more enthusiastic than we are when needing to repeat the same song 100 times a day, loves to talk to him, teaches him new things, etc. And we get to go out in the evening for a drink or to the movies without needing to hire a babysitter while he ́s asleep. Grandma happily accepted the offer. And I don ́t remember the last time we went out on our own. It ́s gonna be strange, but I ́m sure we ́ll manage after couple of drinks. LOL!