clematishearts

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Zetian: OK, so this is my husband Shimin, this is my boyfriend Yizhi, and this is my pet dictator

Qin Zheng: I have a name

Zetian, tossing the communist manifesto across the room: Go fetch

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witch burning

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has anyone asked this

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Heavenly Tyrant, a nutshell:

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HUNTR/X 💥

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"mirror mirror on my phone, who's the baddest?

✨ us, hello? ✨"

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This weirdly aggressive male-male duet of Phantom of the Opera is so Yizhi & Qin Zheng coded

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Ranking how well Irom Widow characters would cope as a concubine in a harem drama

Zetian - 7/10: Would plot to unionise the harem. A+ schemer. Has dozens of enemies. Gets accused of murder every five episodes; has killed people, just not the people she's accused of killing.

Shimin - 5/10: Tries to be diplomatic and calm but pisses a lot of people off anyway. Somehow makes enemies despite being the politest person on earth. Gets bullied the other concubines. Always ill and soggy from being demanded to kneel in the rain after offending someone. Always survives everything though, no matter how insane it is

Yizhi - 8/10: A+ schemer. Poisons a 1/3rd of the palace. Everyone KNOWS when he commits a crime him but cant pin it down on him. Gets sent to the cold palace several times but always pops back out three episodes later because no one can prove anything. People are constantly trying to assassinate him, always escapes without even trying

Qieluo - 8/10: Lurks in the background and spends her life chilling, hanging out with Zetian and not getting involved in the drama. Randomly tries to poison people when she's bored

Qin Zheng - 10/10: Would KILL in a harem drama. Scheming and killing and poisoning everyone. Having sex 24/7. The ultimate freak. Somehow knows literally everything with zero explanation as to how or why he got the info. Total snitch

Taiping - 4/10: Always gets involved in drama. Always shit stirring. Someone tries to kill her every episode. She always survives and no one knows how.

Wan'er - 9/10: A++++++++ schemer. Blatantly obvious that she's scheming but no one ever suspects her. Every servant and maid in the palace would adore her.

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Sima Yi: Pilot Li, why are there small bloody handprints everywhere?

Shimin, whispering: Zetian, why are there small bloody handprints everywhere?

Zetian, whispering: Because I have small hands?

Shimin: Because Zetian had small hands

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tumblr is basically a gay bar in a mental institute

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Q*n Zh*ng moodboard

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Ah shit my bowling team has unionized

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My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.

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Stop please a little 👋

We all have hearts and minds, but not all of us can use them to think clearly. Gaza needs you and your humanity and your heart to feel some humanity. Don't forget that Eid al-Adha is approaching, but there isn't one while children are dying every day This isOur children live among the rubble No food or clothes for Eid the children of the world are now enjoying themselves and in safety and security. The picture is more eloquent than any words and the pain of Gaza needs no translation.💔🍉

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who supports us in these difficult circumstances. May God reward you. 🫶🇵🇸

Vetted by gazavetters line #88

and Vetted by 90-ghost