My sideblog is @aestheticbookwormI Run a writing blog. The works I write are mainly in the horror genre , though I am open to requests and asks that are in other genres. Age 22.
A surprisingly helpful bit of social maneuvering I've figured out from trial and error:
Throughout your life, you are going to need things from people. Often, it's going to be on a deadline. And when that deadline passes, you generally want to know what's going on. So, you need to ask them.
There are two kinds of people, broadly, in this situation. The Shameless will tell you what the holdup is, with absolutely no regard for if the reason is "good enough". This is actually very helpful, because you get the real reason immediately, and can start working on a solution.
The Ashamed is trickier. People who are Ashamed are people who were often told they were giving excuses when they were trying to explain, and they'll often avoid you until they solve the problem on their own. This causes them and you a lot of stress, and often takes a lot longer to solve.
Long term, the strategy for dealing with people who are Ashamed is to provide a supportive environment where they're comfortable sharing any problems they're having with getting things done. But, there's a way to at least partially short-circuit that:
Provide an explanation for them.
One example might be "Hey Susan, I noticed that I don't have your report yet. Are you busy with other projects?" The readymade explanation signals that you're willing to accept an explanation, which is the big anxiety point.
Sometimes, you still won't get an honest answer- especially if the honest answer isn't "good enough" by the standards of the person who traumatized them. But, I've found that it often at least gets you a lie that lets you give them some slack or work around the problem.
Let's say that Susan has actually completely forgotten that she needed to do the report. She's horrified at herself, and completely unwilling to admit the real problem. But, she can now safely reply with "Sorry Jennifer, I've been swamped, and it got lost in the mix. I can have it to you in two days. Does that work?"
From there, so long as Susan gave an estimate for when she can actually do it, she and Jennifer can hash out a solution.
It's not a perfect solution, but it works astonishingly well for how small of a change it is.
This was a sketch request from one of my Patrons! If you like what I do and you would like to support my artwork, I’m on Patreon, I sell Prints and I have an Etsy Shop.
This exquisite brooch is one of the few extant examples of plique-à-jour jewelry made by the New York firm of Marcus & Co., whose reputation at its prime rivaled that of Tiffany & Co. Herman Marcus (1828–99), a German–born and Dresden–trained jeweler, arrived in New York in 1850 and worked for a number of prestigious firms before establishing Marcus & Co. in 1892. Following his death, the company continued under the direction of his two sons, George Elder Marcus and William Marcus.
The brooch is a superb example of Marcus & Co.’s work in plique-à-jour enameling, in which the "cells" of color have no backing, allowing light to shine through the transparent enamel, thereby creating the effect of stained glass. One of the only jewelry firms of its day to succeed at this challenging technique, Marcus & Co. followed the lead of such innovative French designers as René Lalique. The sensitive 3-dimensional sculpting of the sweet pea blossoms and leaves, as well as the naturalistic coloring of the enamels, reflects the Art Nouveau aesthetic that prevailed at the turn of the century. Indeed, close parallels can be drawn with the brilliant naturalistic work of Louis Comfort Tiffany, whose oeuvre is so well represented in the Met’s collection.
The MET (Accession Number: Accession Number: 2016.107)
You abandon Dearborn? You leave her alone with only her sister, all her toys, a heated bed, two scratching posts, and a huge bowl of food like a MONSTER? For FIVE HOURS?
Jail for father!! Jail for father for -- is that catnip?
[ID: Dearborn the tortie is sitting on the sofa, dimly lit, gazing upwards past the camera with enormous and very sad eyes. I left her alone for a whole evening and she's not mad, she's disappointed.]
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