clinicalmarks-blog

[clinicalmarks-blog]

doneeee writing

[clinicalmarks-blog]

15-19.5.2017

draining has been part of daily basis for person with the least chance of hope. monday with non ending GP removal, tuesday didn't prepare for removal of bridge in morning, hurt patient morning and evening, recement, wednesday is the most disastrous, letting patient go without cleaning em, called late second patient, she couldn't tolerate the pain, let her go without crown, thursday got advice from yesterday's patient about professionalism, which I feel so bad, just knew the correct wayto give LA, friday folder checking with so many regrets and things to improve, get direct bullet from Dr Nusima in her room, sad story for seniors, juniors, and colleague 😢 lesson learnt : - I need to always check my niat - do my best to help patient - be smart - knowledge is sooo compulsory - study to improve yourself - be gentle to your patient I dont know how to continue leaving. it is time to shut down.

[clinicalmarks-blog]

10.1.17

the day starts with reflection. still remember how creepy it was, hoping Dr wont mention my flaws. I love her. she would always be rational, human. "I challenge you to bring two patients at a time. you can do it. I know you can" new spirit though. new aim. to move faster. I need to. I have. another brave thing I did today : - met Dr Azlan to present 3 CRA though I knew I'm doomed once I heard his voice echoing through the DHE room, when I know I can choose another Dr for less traveled by road, but no. I know I will learn more than ever, and yes I did. ways to reduce consumption of soft drinks (erosive) between meals : use straw, plain water, exchange with juices, guggle, finally reduced it. OH : methods, frequency, type of toothpaste - extraxt loh's 28, when I know I could just ask other person because I was too lazy to deal with my forever anxious, as I really am wasn't prepared, waking up in the morning with the feeling of "oh, today no procedure will be done, no worries, no anxious" but nahh, 11.30 am he ask me to do it, thinking he wasnt serious. thank you, for believing me, when no one else does. thank you, for putting your trust on me, when I'm already lost hope, when my colours forever fading. for the first time in forever, I get better marks from Dr John, and "well done " compliment. I didnt saw it coming. I'll never forget this day. the day I earned trust from my partner. he asked me without doubt. then I remember the prayer I made back then during zohor. nothing is easy unless You make it easy. You are in control of everything. I did it because of You. I did it because You let me to. - I settled my business with Syahirah, set my RCT appoinment, and competency paeds. arrange the schedule earlier. and started to target to finish preventive requirement. give us strength Ya Allah, to do what's right. two hectic mentally tired days. hoping for better me for tomorrow.

[clinicalmarks-blog]

9.1.17

biha was supposed to bring her pt to replace our clinical session, but FTA that morning. I was mad at first because I always thought once deal was made, we stick to what have been dealed. alhamdulillah I tried to act rasionally, thinking how much help she has offered me since year1 and that makes me think how cruel I am.

I made brave step by : - put my name in OP, when I have doubt putting it before - stay with hanim’s patient, talk about opom, ortho, os, paeds, prostho, when I know I can run to other cubicle - I showed Dr nusima my flaws of work on temporary bridge and crown, when I know I can show to Dr Tine another day, for better chance of not being rejected - I left my ought work to take film, instead I take a brave chance of completing signature on my fixed logbook - I studied Ni-ti with friends, when I can choose to scroll the media

all of these increases my self-esteem, feeling content and satisfied. walking back home with grace, is what I havent felt for such a long time. I lose clinical session, but gained priceless lesson and much more.

feel I’m being love by my partner, my heart cringed and overwhelmed when he said ‘aku kena utamakan partner aku’ when he can just ask his friend to check his ulcer, the one who he trusted more, rather than failure person like me, with full of doubt and uncertainties. the love increases getting to know he made an effort to ask hanim to help hanim on the day he’s not around.

feel useful when hanim said 'thank god I have you’, feel happy I tell so much about what I studied to hanim’s patient though his face turned silent when I talk about oral cancer, I feel bad if I made he feel something, but I do hope I have touched his heart. may Allah lead him to the right path and gave him strength. he looked like swallowing bitter truth telling he lives with his mother.

feel appreciated when a group seek me to tell what I got from Dr Azlina. alhamdulillah, my writings and notes benefited them. benefited my group as well. “I must update with what I have, so I’m not irrelevant. endo is always evolving, get up-to-date but dont get drown within the technology, for you must understand the fundamentals of doing it”

feel the love and kindness when amy offered her OS patient for for tomorrow. but turned out her patient FTA, but I’m still overwhelmed for her actions of landing me her patient. may Allah bless you, amy. you have a very beautiful heart, and I love you, I just discovered this.

Dato’ ask if I still bake, “when do you want to come to my condo? we waited for you 😃"and… I feel bad. for not fulfilling my promises.

I feel bad for not asking how En Nat’s doing, when he looked excited and keen to talk to me. I’m sorry En Mat, I couldn’t think well.

I feel bad for my face, huda said it become worsen. I know my friends tell the same, in their heart. heal me Ya Allah.

thank you Allah for first day of semester8. You’re in control of these things.

take away our laziness, heal our spirit body mind soul, increase our knowledge. help us to walk humbly on this earth. help me ya Allah for the battle against myself.