clonksney

[clonksney]

some sketches of my dnd character Gorrister ⸜( ˙˘˙)⸝

various sketches

being a bird creature would be very itchy, given how often birds moult and shed - it'd drive me mad (￢з￢)

luckily I have an amulet that lets me become human for a couple hours each day. The amulet was from an archfae so I am probably fucked and going to have to pay back all the time I spent as a human as a slave or something; but its absolutely worth.

recently though the amulet betrayed me, I made a shitty sandwich and turned into a human to eat it. The sandwich was awful and I threw up everywhere because I could taste how awful it was.

I like to think that If I ate it in bird form I would've been fine because all food tastes like cardboard or salt. speaking of food ପ(੭ ´ᵕ`)੭°• જ⁀➴

I'd imagine eating a burger would be difficult for an animal with a beak. The burger is too big to swallow but too small to tear up properly; you need to bite/chew it to eat it properly.

They'd take the burger apart. A better food would be a goodberry. In the dnd campaign I rarely eat the goodberries from our druid because shes a bitch elf; but recently I broke the fast.

I just got too hungry while fighting a mindflayer.

I play Gorrister terribly in dnd, I barely eat, fail to rest and use the amulet stupidly. I feel so bad for him

[clonksney]

university reflective journal - week 14 (05-09/05/2025)

the last week of term ✺◟(＾∇＾)◞✺ i'm free now

this final week i handed in my final two assignments:

1. my fashion illustration portfolio: 50 full colour, detailed fashion illustrations about a hypothesized future trend. I went way off track and just made illustrations of clothing that I liked then wrote a little trying to feebly tie my art to the stimulus material.

2. my final dress and technical portfolio. The most horrific assignment yet. I had to create a step by step guide to my dress.

dear god it was difficult - because I forgot most of what I did because I created my dress during a stint of extreme focus.

Finished the dress, took pictures of it on a mannequin, on my partner and on Jess then myself + attended a professional photo shoot for the dress.

Monday - really chill day

I didn't do anything expect draw again, I was very close to the end though 47/50 drawings and only needed to power through a technical drawing and a little bit of writing

Tuesday - ditto of Monday but i made Carvan bread

Wednesday - photoshoot day.

I arrived on campus and discovered that the photography students were there but they weren't booked in for fashion photography because it was actually next Wednesday that was the photo day.

however, another student from second year also came a week early and the lecturer said they would be happy to photograph us if we brought our own models(we both planned to model for ourselves)

we grabbed lunch and I tried on her jacket too. It was surprisingly comfortable and fit well; she asked me to model it for the pictures and I said sure.

the photoshoot was about an hour the jacket photos were fun and the ones of my dress were exclusively of me spinning around in it to showcase the flowy skirt. while changing I had an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction but no one saw anything.

Thursday - dress review day.

I wanted to end it all because my seams were finished in a manner that created "unnecessary labor". Like bro, I intentionally labored for them to look like that because I liked the finish I didn't wanna finish them like a H&M dress.

its whatever, I will cope and move on. I liked my dress and will be wearing it.

I did a little bit of sewing on my second toile to make it wearable for Jess then went home to cry.

Friday - grinding my last two assignment

the weekend!

I went on an amazing picnic with junkler and we brought matching wizard robes. I submitted my assignments then on the following Monday I handed in my physical fashion illustration portfolio.

[clonksney]

my first fashion illustration portfolio(4/4)

drawings about CorvidKnight - the worldbuilding thingo/comic series my brother and I are working on.

Gorrister and Anne with cool sword in cool robes

miscellaneous Gorrister drawings

Melisande the jester

[clonksney]

my first fashion illustration portfolio(3/4)

drawings about movies I am inspired by

first Bladerunner(1982), of course

₍^. .^₎⟆

drawings about Belladonna of sadness(1973)

[clonksney]

my first fashion illustration portfolio(2/4)

drawings of people in my life wearing my clothes. Thank you reluctant muses and models ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

drawings of my partner

me and him together because I'm cringe

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

drawings of my bestie <3

one of me in a dress i made before i started university

[clonksney]

my final fashion illustration portfolio(1/4)

miscellaneous

[clonksney]

university reflective journal - week 13 (28/04-02/05/2025)

second last week of term ꒰ঌ(˶ˆᗜˆ˵)໒꒱

Monday - a little rest day, i spent my time drawing and taking pictures of my fashion drawing porfolio

The lighting was awful and I need to fix it because every single drawing needs to be photographed nicely for my final submission next week

I headed out to a therapy session at stones corner later in the day. After the session I wandered around stones corner and found this adorable bag that looked like a little owl - next to that picture is my outfit from the day.

Tuesday - the dress is finished and it fits so many people well, I've already posted me wearing it so here are some alternative models

my partner wearing it - he is about 6ft and as slim as me

jess wearing it - 5'2ish and slimmer than me

she looks like shes drowning in carpet and I love it. When I fitted the finished dress to her I asked if she'd want one of my toiles and she said yes!

and my grandmother wearing it - about my size but slightly shorter

on Tuesday evening I went out for dinner with my partners sister and niece and had some homemade pizza

Wednesday - big drawing and writing day

I spent all day drawing and gaming, as of Wednesday I had finished 42/50 drawings for my portfolio. I also realized out of the blue that I had a career orientation reflective essay due on Sunday the 4th that had slipped my mind entirely

(no surprise, I don't quite prioritize career orientation)

Thursday - another big drawing day then jess hangout in the afternoon

drawing progress 45/50

chess games won against jess 1/1

Friday - toile work and philosophy bros

i started work on my second toile - the patchwork velvet one with the messy hems. I spent the morning pressing the seams and hemming it nicely so I could give it to jess. I cut the hems at the bottom unevenly to make it look more edgy and so it would fit her rather than dragging on the ground.

after uni my brother and I met up and caught a bus into the city to meet my philosophy bros. We had a long chat in the botanical gardens. while my friends talked I drew Gorrister doing various menial things. At around 3pm my brother headed home and my friends and I went back into the city to run errands and find dinner. We played some chess in the library.

the thing about my philosophy friends is that they are sisters and also twins, when i played chess against one of them the other would always chip in. I was destined for a loss (╥﹏╥)

it was close though, we were both 2 moves from checking the other when I misplayed and got my king cornered.

We then played a weird checkers chess variant with some inspiration from fairy chess - this is a hypothetical game Gorrister would play against a sphinx. The pieces are loosely based on creatures and lore from the corvidknight world.

taking in this game is like checkers and the objective of the game is to move across the board and die at the end - to reach salvation

the bishops became hags - they move 3 forward or 3 sideways and take forward/sideways

the queen is Naarah - the daughter of Carvan. she can move any direction and takes sideways or forwards

the knights remain knights and are the only pieces that can move backwards and can take sideways or diagonal

every other piece is a checkers piece

it was a very weird game and i kept misplaying or defaulting to standard chess rules. My homies had the idea to add in a reverse hag - a dame with the opposite move set. I joked that this was the madonna-whore complex reborn in chess piece form.

The hag is savage and moves forward aggressively, it fights against the system of the game and is coveted by the player.

Vs

The dame, can take one step forward and two steps back - similar to the progress of feminism. the dame sounds like a pretty worthless piece to the player, and would only be situationally useful if they got a piece too close to salvation at the end of the board

we are work shopping it lol. ˚₊‧꒰ა ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

during the weekend I kept writing my reflective essay - it will probably be about adjusting to uni life and the skills I needed to learn to make my final dress

[clonksney]

university reflective journal - week 12 (21-25/04/2025)

I regressed and didn't get the new twisted fate skin

Monday - Easter Monday

/)/) ( . .) ( づ🥚

I spent the day with my partner's family. Whenever I am at a family gathering I use this lifehack; I will volunteer to look after my niece and go away from the main group to do something childish I secretly wanted to do more than talk to the other adults.

this time my niece and I went to look at rockpools and collect some shells. I found the knee of a cow!

I am so happy with this, It is full of marrow, weathered by the ocean and covered in little growths. Finding this was the highlight of my day.

Tuesday - the only day I spent at uni this week :(

I spoke to my lecturer about the fit of my dress and the finishings I could apply to it - I changed the hems around the edge of the lining to be neater and finished adding the belt to the dress.

all it needs now are closures - I think pearl buttons would be really cute and work well with the aesthetic of the rest of the dress.

Wednesday - my lecture was cancelled again and I didn't want to think about career orientation. I have a reflective report due on Sunday 4th of may worth 30% of my grade; I really struggle to do reflective reports because i find that the reflections I do are either:

a) not appropriate for university assignment

b) too convoluted to effectively explain.

like I don't think my professor needs to know about how re-watching the last unicorn altered by psyche.

I spent the day at home with my brother gaming and being a general slime (ᇂ_ᇂ|||) later in the day I met up with my philosophy bros again and we spoke about the sins of Carvanism (the religion connected to the world-building thing my brother and I are doing).

Thursday - another chill day. I planned to go in but slept through my first alarm and decided against it.

I spent the day drawing again then went out to see another friend. afterwards I played dnd again for the first time in weeks.

I always get anxious when I play dnd and when I'm anxious I start playing my dnd character like I play myself in real life. A lot of the time during dnd sessions Gorrister will just drink and wander around aimlessly rather than committing to any plot hooks.

however this session I locked in, i crawled through a sewer, joined a cult briefly then entered a relationship with a mindflayer?? yeah idk, I snuck up on the guy then we locked eyes and the dm implied that we knew each other somehow.

its better than doing nothing lol

Friday - my aunt visits for pizza

over the weekend I tried to draw some more for my portfolio but eventually gave up and let myself relax. ✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و✧*｡

I met up with my bestie and we went on a picnic.

so many big feet birds <3 we also grabbed some pastries

[clonksney]

university reflective journal - week 11 (14-18/04/2025)

Monday - spent the day at home drawing and talking with my brother; I just drew and drew.

Tuesday - crunch time. i fixed the sleeve of my dress and cut out all the other pattern pieces, then overlocked them and began to sew them. i finished the garment up to the hem of the sleeve

Wednesday - my lectures on Wednesdays have been consistently getting cancelled so i stayed home. During the morning I worked nonstop on my assignment and addressed the feedback provided by my teacher then completed my reference list properly.

I also spent a lot of time gaming with my little brother because he is on holidays right now, I played a lot of league and have set a goal to get the new victorious twisted fate skin. the skin is a pain because i have to win 15 games of ranked to earn it - and I don't touch ranked

૮(˶ㅠ︿ㅠ)ა it'll be fine, my duo is good.

Thursday - I powered through the finicky lining and seams

I clocked out from uni after 9 hours of sewing because my bobbin ran out. The dress is completed apart from the hems and belt.

after uni i went out for dinner in the city and grabbed some onigiri and a creme pastry from a new bake shop.

me when i eat the pastry of solemnity

it was so good, it was earl grey tea flavoured and so perfect - I will get it again or a similar one :)))

Friday - public holiday ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

I felt like I was itching to finish sewing my final dress but the mandatory rest day was probably needed. I finished my essay and procrastinated submitting it until Saturday.

my bird ate some spinach with me

[clonksney]

university reflective journal - week 10 (6-11/04/2025)

on the 20th next week my final for the fashion history is due and i have been avoiding looking at my feedback because it feels like an omen of doom. I must check it by next Monday｡ﾟ(｡ﾉωヽ｡)ﾟ｡

dear god i don't want to

Monday - after my awesome ice skating weekend i was bruised, battered and tired. I went out to stones corner for therapy and my friend and i got lunch afterwards.

Tuesday - first class back after submitting the toile finals, a model came in to showcase all our dresses and their fit was evaluated by our lecturer. Mine is pretty much perfect the finishing and quality just need to be better for the final and i will be adding ties to the edges of the front pieces and some buttons on the sleeves

I was so happy and went ahead and cut out the front pieces of my final dress and fucked up one of the sleeves so i am shamefully piecing another fabric to hide the mistake - no one can every know about this mistake i will be acting like it was an intentional design choice caused by lack of fabric.

Wednesday - the lecture got cancelled but i was able to talk with the professional orientation lecturer about my quiz result from week 2. canva automatically deducted all of my marks because of late submission - i could NOT ACCESS the quiz until like week 4 because of sign in issues :(

issue rectified by the end of the day (ﾉᐛ)ﾉ♫♩ヽ(ᐖヽ)♬ヽ(*ᐛ)ﾉ

I spent a lot of time on Wednesday drawing too. I drew a knight being pulled off his horse by a giant dog

Thursday - a short day after my lecture i did a little bit of drawing for my course then went home and spoke with my brother about dwarfish language and we started to make a script

Friday - also a quiet day, no lectures. late in the day i went out to meet some friends from my school's philosophy classes. We had a cool pseudo intellectual discussion about the libertarian ideology and its incompatibility with the social contract and effective social cooperation - thus voiding it as an effective structure of governance. the musings of terminally online uni students.

it was great to see everyone again. i spoke to them about carvanism - the fictional religion i made with my brother for the world building thing for my dnd character and got some really interest insights into contradiction in religious literature.

carvanism needs a good mix, of cultish, lowkey reasonable and just odd commandments/quotes associated with it.

on the weekend i took things easy and worked up the courage to look at my essay feedback

[clonksney]

University reflective journal - week 9 (31/03-4/04/2025)

Grind time - my toile is due at the end of this week

Monday and Tuesday were both spent locking in and sewing

On Wednesday I finished my first toile

It's made of a light cotton fabric and is pretty cheaply made. It fits me well though. The front is a little longer than the back because I evened the hem whilst the garment was laying flat rather than on a mannequin.

I failed to join the lining horrifically and have ugly seams along the shoulder lines :(

Thursday - my second toile wow

This toile was made of soft velvet rather than cotton and the heavier fabric makes it look very luxurious. The dress is tied with the blue piece in front because the green side is far shorter because of issues around fabric availability - I made the dress out of storeroom scraps lol

The cuffs are the ugliest part of this dress and I did not go through and sew down all the seams so it's a little warped in some parts.

Friday - so much technical illustration it was insane

For my submission I spent the day drawing a "how to make" step by step guide to my dressmaking process.

This was a headache

This week I made some I didn't have any work left over for the weekend because I would be ice-skating with friends. It's good to have it all done though

[clonksney]

university reflection journal - week 8 (24-28/03/2025)

a very needed break (∪｡∪)｡｡｡zzz. I spent this week with family and friends, I spent a lot of time with my younger brother talking about the fantasy world we are building around my dnd character's lore

Monday - I don't even remember what I did, it was probably nothing

Tuesday - went shopping and saw my partner, we made stuffed cheesy naan bread from monster hunter wilds. He also modeled his next monster hunter character off my face and body - it turned out way nicer and more accurate than the elden ring character he did this with.

Wednesday - I went to the city to look around queen st, on the way home I picked up some new visual diaries (my old ones were completely full) and started drawing in them.

I drew lots of animals to fill the fantasy world my brother and I are talking about. I wanted them to similar but different from real life animals, I took a lot of inspiration from grazing mammals from the late Eocene and early Oligocene periods.

my favorite is the deer smothering them

Gorrister riding an entelodont - a huge "hell pig" creature and a giraffe, elephant thing - i kinda hate that one lol

We also spoke about dwarves and different dwarvish races. My brother is very passionate about dwarves so I quickly drew some ideas for northern vs southern dwarves and how they differ from each other. northern dwarves are more human like whereas southern dwarves are more like "mole men"

Thursday - I drew some more and took a long walk in the evening. During my dnd session my character nearly got kidnapped by cult members then killed by a store clerk and some guards for asking questions about said cult.

Friday - I saw my grandmother again and showed her my portfolio from my course. I took Friday easy because on the weekend I had rollerskating planned with my friends and a party right afterwards with my partner. ヽ(￣o￣)ノ♩♫♪

[clonksney]

university reflective journal - week 7 (17-21/03/2025)

things due this week:

1200 word essay about fashion history - on Sunday 23/03/2025

eportfolio - canva site - on Sunday 23/03/2025

interview for professional orientation - needs to happen sometime before week 8

these due dates are unlucky because the 22nd was my partners' birthday so i had a little bit of split focus happening this week

Monday - a little bit of drawing, I took this day to do something for myself and go to therapy for the first time. I enjoyed it a lot, the psychologist helped me with emotional regulation and the concept of "feeling things in your body" I usually intellectualize my feelings a lot and don't necessarily take time to sit with being uncomfortable.

It was very helpful, afterwards I went thrifting + devoured a nice meal.

I have resolved to go to therapy fortnightly so I wont exhaust my medicare re baits too quickly

Tuesday - sewing day

i sewed the top of the dress then got some input from my teacher about the pattern pieces, he agreed the more dramatic drape was better but believes i should have one combined bodice and skirt + a facing around the edge of the garment

with his guidance i made this bonkers pattern peice

i was also given more velvet in green to add to my blue velvet - I might do patchwork on my toile to avoid running out of fabric.

Wednesday - I completed my interview and realized i was psyching myself out for nothing?? it was just a "get to know you" type thing not a faux job interview.

I completed the interview and went home to draw

Thursday - the class was meant to read a lecture about fashion in ancient Greece, but no one read the lecture so we were all thrust into the deep end. My group decided to do our power point on the fashion of prostitutes in ancient Greece

we are also given another essay structure help thingo ↴

I spent the rest of the lesson drawing for my portfolio, specifically drawing my partner - I love that this is actually part of an assignment

the top left is inspired by his favorite coat in monster hunter. the top right is inspired by the ancient Greek prostitutes. the green bottom left isn't my favorite, but it reminds me of Bowie. the bottom right is my favorite and was drawn during my disastrous DND session.

Friday - quiet day, I was exhausted and took time off to rest and work on my essay - I have 1100 words ready for submission. Over the weekend I submitted both of the assignments and had fun at my partners birthday ✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ )و✧*｡

[clonksney]

university reflective journal - week 6 (09-14/03/2025)

progress this week:

21/50 fashion portfolio drawings finished + 5 from my previous assignment due end of term 11/05/2025

748/1200 words done for my essay - due week 7 on 23/03/2025

first bodice pattern draft of my dress - finished toile + technical drawings due week 9 on 06/04/2025

I'm ahead on the super far away deadline lol. The cyclone pushed a lot of pattern making time back

Monday: spent the day at home drawing for the final portfolio - i drew a couple drawings about my favorite movie - belladonna of sadness - the outfits are inspired by key moments in the film.

The first scene in the film, where Jeanne is raped on her wedding night.

Jeanne in her green dress and coat in the scene where she gained power in the village and made money selling thread.

Jeanne as a druid-esk demon - representing her bargain with the devil coming to fruition.

Tuesday: buses were all down so I couldn't attend the lecture on campus. I was exhausted and took this day to rest and reflect on my essay and some anxieties around it. I feel like I've gone too technical around weaving machines and design processes rather than reflecting in on the people I'm meant to research - i think when i pull Ned Ludd and the Luddite philosophy then link that to Fabrican things will pull together.

Wednesday: return to campus :)))) the day was relatively short, after my lecture i realized that i would need to put more effort into my personal development classes - i had been neglecting them because they bored me. I applied to use the mahara online portfolio software but got knocked back because my request wasn't applicable :(

I decided to create my portfolio using the Canva software and include links to this blog and my Instagram.

i also had some lovely pizza

Thursday - another big drawing day. I dont bring my laptop to classes because carrying it on the train/bus is risky and im afraid i will drop or be robbed lol.

i spent the morning drawing, then came home to my partners house to pick up my full colour Blade Runner drawings

Friday: I continued working on my canva eportfolio and made this post so i would feel like i had actually done something this week - having all the drawings in a folder makes me feel like they don't exist

[clonksney]

final dress - pattern drafting (06/03/2025)

i plan to make a wrap dress so i must make two fronts that cross over each other. first in preparation for the serious pattern making i used my two front/back half dress blocks to create larger whole front/whole back dress blocks without darts.

fish and chips break

i then used these whole pieces and the sleeve block to create this rhombus like sleeve + 2/3 from piece with a little offshoot for a tie to be attached to later. i then cut it out in cheap calico and draped it to the model. i believe it is not dramatic enough. the piece is one front + sleeve and the finished garment would have a seam running from the shoulder to the wrist.

i then took my inferior undramatic pattern piece and used the slash and spread method to create this bodice piece which drapes a lot more.

i had the idea that the less draped piece could be a lining piece and the larger more draped piece will be the external piece - i'm not sure how this would pan out though

[clonksney]

university reflective journal week 5 (02-07/03/2025)

things due to work towards

fashion history essay, 1200 words

at least 10 drawings fully colored

Monday - spent the entire day drawing for the 50 drawings portfolio, by the end of the day i had 7 of the 10 drawings finished :)

Tuesday - pattern making day, we learned to do technical drawings of our designs and checked in with the teacher about our final decisions for the projects this term. I decided to make a dressing gown like wrap dress, with a cowl neck, long sleeves and flowing skirt - made of green velvet

i began to draft the patterns that day

we also received news about the incoming cyclone. The campus will be closed from Wednesday onward and any work will need to be completed at home(provided that power stays on). This is good because its the perfect storm for essay writing - its also bad because i will have nothing to do but write my dreaded essay.

Wednesday - the last day id be able to go outside without fear of being blown away. I decided to spend this day with my friends and buy groceries for the lock down. i did do some research in the evening though

Thursday - finally started writing my essay, as of Thursday i got around a 3rd done word count wise -> 400/1200 words and now have a massive amount of sources and references to format + insert into the text. I feel very overwhelmed by the essay, I haven't written an essay since my philosophy exam and the structure of a philosophy essay differs greatly from other subjects.

although i am anxious, I'm confident that i can break through the procrastination.

Friday - i tried to cover every base today.

I finished more drawings and as of writing this have the 10 required for my self imposed checkpoint - I do plan to finish at least two more today though

on the essay i aim to have at least a 1000 words and to have started my in text referencing.

depending on the weather my weekend will either be a little break and some time spent with my partner or two more days of nonstop drawing, writing and reading.

[clonksney]

Massive drawing dump

Sketches from the past couple weeks, some from the last project and others for the upcoming massive 50+ sketches portfolio

Older personalised designs

New stuff!

I also drew my/my partners' DnD characters with cool clothes and will probably submit them too

Finally some drawings of Jess - in femme and butch variants